"So I need help stop'n my sister from smacking this Pakistani lady...."
Background: Sister moved to a fairly diverse neighborhood (by Chicago standards). Her 5 year old goes to the local neighborhood school. While the majority of the students at the school are relatively poor, the school benefits from being located in a very economically mixed area/ tax base. There is public housing & also million dollar homes.
Situation: My mother is on pick up/ drop off duty most days. She started noticing that there was a woman who didn’t seem to want her daughter to play with the other kids- my niece (only Black kid in this group), a few Asians and a few Latino kids. My mother was like whatever, she made the assumption that the woman was an immigrant and frankly just weird (FWIW, my momma aint got no damn sense). But she then notices that the woman’s daughter plays with the other kids just fine and the mother doesn’t seem to mind….until my niece shows up and she promptly calls for her kid to come stand next to her and scows in my nieces general direction. She does this so clearly that my niece actually stands still as if confused and looks over at my mother like she may have done something wrong. At which point my mother yells: Don’t worry about it baby, they got the cooties anyway. SMH
So she relays this whole story to my sister. Who decides that she needs to see this for herself. She goes to the playground and like clockwork it happens… only this time little was directly playing with my niece and when her mom calls her the little girl whispers “I can’t” and runs over to answer her mother and my niece sulks and says “my heart is broken” (she’s super melodramatic).
Anyway my sister reported it to the school….. which was VERY difficult for her to do…cause she just wanted to step to the lady, like whats good?…but her better angels won that day(thank God). She asked me and I suggested she introduce herself to the woman and ask if everything is okay. My concern is that the woman gets cute and then I gotta post bail cause my sister done dog walked her.
Oh, we don’t even really know If the woman is Pakistani….but given the description, its my best guess.
7. "You ever tried to confront people like this? They aren't straight-up, at..." In response to Reply # 2 Fri Apr-28-17 09:39 AM by flipnile
>Just let the girls mother know that you recognize that she's >on that bullshit.
It's a waste of time, and that lady might go and file a report with the school talking about how she was "threatened." It's better to just treat her like the enemy that she's exposed herself to be. She's too old to not know exactly what she's doing and how it's wrong, but yet she does it anyway.
Fuck that lady. It's just too bad she's gonna teach her kid the same bullshit that she's on.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79554 posts
Fri Apr-28-17 09:27 AM
3. "let your sister give her the business" In response to Reply # 0
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
4. "She did the right thing" In response to Reply # 0
Reported it to the school. She can step to the mother as well and just ask her why. Best case scenario is if she is racist and gets questioned about it then she'll know that others notice and may stop. Kids get to play together and its a win for them, that's all that really matters.
If she gets ignorant then just notify the school again. Not worth going to jail over it since you KNOW she'll contact the police on some "See! This is how they do!"
I experienced this in my neighborhood with two of my daughters friends. You can tell the parents may not have been born here. Very diverse area. Mother goes "black people are crazy" or something along those lines. All the kids heard it. Her kids must be bad as shit tho cause they keep playing with the other children like they don't care what she thinks. Listening to black music and dancing to it and shit. Must be driving her crazy, I just sit back and laugh.
Moms sound funny as shit tho lol. You had to laugh at some of that.
================= Official Okay-Super Villain™
I only play the games that I win at - Gamertag: Innovator PSN: DurtyGambino Steam: Durty Gambino Twitch.tv/durtygambino
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79554 posts
Fri Apr-28-17 09:33 AM
5. "Kids just want to have fun" In response to Reply # 4
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
9. "RE: She did the right thing" In response to Reply # 4
I wish you could have heard this ignant ass conversation. My sister talking about "yoke'n that bitch up by the sheets she be wear'n".....I can only assume "sheets" = her sari/ kameez. This why we cant leave the block lol
If this woman wasnt such an ass I would feel bad. Alas I dont.
>Moms sound funny as shit tho lol. You had to laugh at some of >that.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79554 posts
Fri Apr-28-17 09:52 AM
13. "Dead at "yoke this bitch up in the sheets she be wearing" " In response to Reply # 9
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
6. "I'd advise her to complete disregard this lady's existence " In response to Reply # 0
If that means that the daughters can't play together then it is what it is. That lady is being real fucked-up, and she doesn't deserve for y'all to even engage her. She'll probably just lie, go passive-aggressive and play the victim anyway.
I've had other parents run and scoop up their kids and get ghost as soon as my son and I show up at the playground, and while it stings, fuck those folks. THEY are the ones acting like assholes.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79554 posts
Fri Apr-28-17 09:53 AM
14. "but as long as they are above us it's all good" In response to Reply # 12
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
Atillah Moor Member since Sep 05th 2013 13825 posts
Fri Apr-28-17 09:45 AM
11. "Your mom is right lol and the woman is likely from a color caste country..." In response to Reply # 0
Were I your sis I'd approach the woman with my child in hand-- ask her what country she is from and then when she replies explain to my kid in the woman's presence that in her country people are misguided in many ways and not worth the child's time anyway, I'd apologize to the other little girl for having a crap mom, wish her the best as she grows up in such ignorance and then bounce.
I'd also tell my kid that without black people that little girl and her stank hoe mom would never exist
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
21. "I do agree with this" In response to Reply # 19
This may be the right time to have that talk.
Wouldn't even include any anger in it. Just have to let her know that this is how some people are, they hate you for no other reason than you look different ect.
I had that talk with mine years ago as well. Crazy because when they first notice that this is a thing it's devastating to them. Kids don't give a fuck about color at that age they just want to play. Damn adults start them off early. If anything at least you know what household they come from.
================= Official Okay-Super Villain™
I only play the games that I win at - Gamertag: Innovator PSN: DurtyGambino Steam: Durty Gambino Twitch.tv/durtygambino
27. "I use the word nigga..." In response to Reply # 21
but not around the children because we hadn't figured how to explain it to them. We were forced into when my cousin came down and called one of the kids "nigga".
I've experienced this in various forms with both my white and black kids. I just misdirected the kids thinking they're too young to be burdened with those concepts. I don't think there'd be anything wrong in confronting the other parent....just not my style. I would LOVE to see them be confronted by somebody else though....perhaps not in front of the kids. I don't know. It's not hard to difficult to misdirect the kids so that the issue doesn't become explicit to them. Not sure if that's the right thing in every circumstance. I just don't think there's much pragmatic function or value in trying to explain racism to a kid under the age of around 8 or 9. (also depends on the particular kid's intellectual development level)
25. " I dont think my neice would get understand it." In response to Reply # 24
At least not fully. She's otherwise pretty popular with that lil crew and calls herself "Tori the magnificent".... so the racism might not even compute. Its probably why she was "heartbroken" (for all of 5 minutes)when she saw that the lil girl couldnt be her friend anymore.
But then she was Rosa Parks in her lil assembly back in Feb....so maybe?
28. "By 8 or 9, I already had noticed and experienced racism" In response to Reply # 24
>I just don't think there's much pragmatic >function or value in trying to explain racism to a kid under >the age of around 8 or 9.
Some shit is just obvious to young minds. By that age, I could already see how people treated my parents or me poorly for no reason apparent to me other than my race, but yet they were all smiles with others.
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