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topic #13138507

Subject: "Is it sexist to tell your son, "Look out for your Mama""

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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49393 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 12:36 PM

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"Poll question: Is it sexist to tell your son, "Look out for your Mama""

Like when my six-year-old boys go out with their mother and I say "OK boys you have to look out for and protect your mother", does that reinforce negative gender norms or does it positively teaches young men to look out for the women in their company?

Poll result (30 votes)
Patriarchy!!	(5 votes)	Vote
Lightweight Patriarchy, but okay.	(8 votes)	Vote
It's all Good.	(17 votes)	Vote

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Topic Outline

Subject	Author	Message Date	ID
Blue - the idea should be to look out for any loved ones (and yourself).	Teknontheou	Mar 27th 2017	1
Damn, we have to question basic things like this now?	flipnile	Mar 27th 2017	2
Shit is competely off the rails.	Shogun	Mar 27th 2017	4
shouldn't we be questioning everything?	Bluebear	Mar 27th 2017	5
why question THIS though?	Shogun	Mar 27th 2017	6
It's not the only thing worth questioning but	Bluebear	Mar 27th 2017	7
I don't have a son. But I AM a son.	Shogun	Mar 27th 2017	13
we'll probably never agree on this	Bluebear	Mar 27th 2017	24
we won't.	Shogun	Mar 27th 2017	30
Yeah dude there is an assumption that a dude will be in a better	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 27th 2017	46
Absolutely	Bluebear	Mar 27th 2017	53
Oh I have no problem with. If it can't stand up to the scrutiny	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 27th 2017	54
no, definitely not.	legsdiamond	Mar 27th 2017	11
😂😂😂😂😂😂	Rjcc	Mar 27th 2017	14
Why is this even a conversation?	Shogun	Mar 27th 2017	15
you know why.	legsdiamond	Mar 27th 2017	26
right.	Shogun	Mar 27th 2017	28
shit is dusgusting	legsdiamond	Mar 27th 2017	12
why not?	double negative	Mar 27th 2017	22
I realize that I have different fundamental beliefs than folks here abou...	flipnile	Mar 27th 2017	31
You are not alone	legsdiamond	Mar 27th 2017	39
this shit is hilarious	Rjcc	Mar 27th 2017	74
dont overthink it. it's perfectly fine.	BrooklynWHAT	Mar 27th 2017	3
i don't think its problematic, but it shouldn't be gender-specific...	CyrenYoung	Mar 27th 2017	8
This is the answer.	soulpsychodelicyde	Mar 27th 2017	32
awareness and looking out for each other altogether.	BigJazz	Mar 27th 2017	33
difference without deference, man	ConcreteCharlie	Apr 05th 2017	302
it seems like something you haven't thought through	Rjcc	Mar 27th 2017	9
No, it's perfectly fine to tell any child to look out for their parent.	SimplyHannah	Mar 27th 2017	10
I think we need more information	Bluebear	Mar 27th 2017	16
oh its mos def patriarchy.	tariqhu	Mar 27th 2017	17
this is a lie.	Shogun	Mar 27th 2017	21
yeah, older kids to younger. sure.	tariqhu	Mar 27th 2017	27
You're moving the goalposts. That's not what you said.	Shogun	Mar 27th 2017	29
not moving anything. this whole post	tariqhu	Mar 27th 2017	34
we also tell boys to look out for their little brothers too.	Shogun	Mar 27th 2017	18
we dont tell sons or daughters to look after their dad	MiracleRic	Mar 27th 2017	20
Once Dad gets old. Not while he's perceived as strong and healthy.	Teknontheou	Mar 27th 2017	25
I've had several women tell me to have a daughter because sons	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 27th 2017	41
First thing everyone tells me when I say I have daughters	legsdiamond	Mar 27th 2017	42
The sexist reading is that the caretaker role is intertwined with the	Teknontheou	Mar 27th 2017	44
Or maybe they know the daughter will be single	legsdiamond	Mar 27th 2017	49
I really think its a guys tend to get absorbed in the wife's family thin...	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 27th 2017	58
If this were trolling there would be clear agreement that it is not	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 27th 2017	36
This seems more like bored posting if anything. Which is warranted	blkprinceMD05	Mar 27th 2017	45
yes AND no AND maybe AND maybe not	double negative	Mar 27th 2017	19
and this is what I got from it:	Shogun	Mar 27th 2017	23
I definitely think it's good advice for everyone to look out for each	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 27th 2017	35
deeming things like this sexist fuck it up for things that are actually ...	Mynoriti	Mar 27th 2017	37
It's too late	legsdiamond	Mar 27th 2017	38
Meh, some things can be lightweight sexist.	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 27th 2017	40
but if I don't do it, I'm an asshole.	Shogun	Mar 28th 2017	129
y'all love your straw men	Rjcc	Mar 27th 2017	76
straw MEN?	Mynoriti	Mar 27th 2017	124
the cool part is that your response doesn't impact	Rjcc	Mar 28th 2017	125
I don't know or care what you're trying to say	Mynoriti	Mar 28th 2017	126
I know, you don't understand.	Rjcc	Mar 28th 2017	197
nope..and if it was, so what..do it	rdhull	Mar 27th 2017	43
They six. They ain't gone be fighting ninjas if shit goes down LOL.	lightworks	Mar 27th 2017	47
its about principle and priming	rdhull	Mar 27th 2017	48
even 6 year olds know this shit	legsdiamond	Mar 27th 2017	50
First off, try and tell that to my boys who think they are power rangers	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 27th 2017	52
RE: First off, try and tell that to my boys who think they are power ran...	rdhull	Mar 27th 2017	55
Ha! All I meant was if you're not being literal using different words mi...	lightworks	Mar 27th 2017	105
i dont think it's beneficial to the child	bonamie	Mar 27th 2017	51
I wonder what's the basis for your adamant stance.	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 27th 2017	56
excitement now...burden or pressure later	bonamie	Mar 27th 2017	59
You think it's wrong to raise men with a sense of duty to protect	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 27th 2017	63
it's sexist/patriarchal to raise boys w/a higher sense of duty to protec...	SoWhat	Mar 27th 2017	64
all pple shld have a sense of duty to anyone they are with	bonamie	Mar 27th 2017	65
I have no expectation that a woman physically defends me.	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 27th 2017	97
best believe when shit gets real they expect you to step up	legsdiamond	Mar 27th 2017	112
when shit happens, it's the first thing out of their mouths, ain't it?	Shogun	Mar 28th 2017	128
i see ALOT of HURT ALERT above	bonamie	Mar 28th 2017	149
is that a clinical diagnosis, or what?	Shogun	Mar 28th 2017	154
^^^ Shaming attempt bruh, don't take the bait	flipnile	Mar 28th 2017	155
slow day at work. I'm here for the entertainment of it all.	Shogun	Mar 28th 2017	158
sips tea	soulpsychodelicyde	Mar 28th 2017	212
i agree.	SoWhat	Mar 27th 2017	60
same	Damali	Mar 29th 2017	237
Again, this is the WORLD ya'll wanted.	Case_One	Mar 27th 2017	57
a world of constant misery and poutrage	legsdiamond	Mar 27th 2017	62
care to explain yourself there Mr. Salve?	double negative	Mar 27th 2017	66
We're living in a world that wants to eliminate gender and gender roles	Case_One	Mar 27th 2017	70
LOL. this dumb fuck	Rjcc	Mar 27th 2017	72
If we were sitting in an empty room would you say that to my face?	Case_One	Mar 27th 2017	73
come through bro	Rjcc	Mar 27th 2017	77
We ain't bro's. I don't roll with you're kind.	Case_One	Mar 27th 2017	78
you made the threat. you then gave an excuse why it wouldn't happen	Rjcc	Mar 27th 2017	80
See, playa, I didn't make a threat. I asked a question.	Case_One	Mar 27th 2017	82
yes, we all know you wouldn't do shit but talk.	Rjcc	Mar 27th 2017	83
I guess you'd have to find out. But still, you wouldn't say it -	Case_One	Mar 27th 2017	85
you've been invited.	Rjcc	Mar 27th 2017	92
If you say so.	Case_One	Mar 27th 2017	94
LMAO!! I'm not trying to get in yall's thing, here...	Dstl1	Mar 27th 2017	88
He knows what it is	Case_One	Mar 27th 2017	91
Basically	Mafamaticks	Mar 27th 2017	98
TOO MANY WHITE FOLKS	Rjcc	Mar 27th 2017	108
Looks like an Alternative Movie Poster for GET OUT	Case_One	Mar 28th 2017	130
^^^niggas who have spent years obsessed with my avatar	Rjcc	Mar 28th 2017	198
Oh Lort!	Case_One	Mar 28th 2017	214
RE: Basically	isaaaa	Mar 31st 2017	263
Lmao	legsdiamond	Mar 27th 2017	95
Word is bond, dat shit was on JEDI level accuracy!	NoDrawls McGraw	Mar 28th 2017	223
Star Search	infin8	Mar 29th 2017	235
^^^people who really want it to be one way but it's the other	Rjcc	Mar 29th 2017	243
yeah, we want a world where women aren't perceived as weak	rob	Mar 27th 2017	104
dog makes everything an LGBT topic, talk about commitment	atruhead	Mar 27th 2017	114
the world was better when women just knew their place	SoWhat	Mar 27th 2017	68
Do you know your place? Why you mad?	Case_One	Mar 27th 2017	71
oh you're trying to do that thing you've seen me do.	SoWhat	Mar 27th 2017	75
Nah, not even. But you're still mad.	Case_One	Mar 27th 2017	79
k.	SoWhat	Mar 27th 2017	81
yeah, that's sexist.	SoWhat	Mar 27th 2017	61
men learn how to protect themselves, women and children	atruhead	Mar 27th 2017	117
LOL..i been tellin my son that since he could talk...if it is..so be it	ambient1	Mar 27th 2017	67
Fucking Feminists!	JellyBean	Mar 27th 2017	69
Thank you	legsdiamond	Mar 27th 2017	90
It don't have to be difficult. Its okay to be anti-feminist in some rega...	PimpTrickGangstaClik	Mar 27th 2017	102
Also, I love how most	JellyBean	Mar 27th 2017	84
YES! To all of this!	Case_One	Mar 27th 2017	86
Kinda seems to undermine the mother's authority to me	Frobert	Mar 27th 2017	87
Protection has nothing to do	JellyBean	Mar 27th 2017	89
...	Rjcc	Mar 27th 2017	93
yeah totally, it's like, moms are kids	rob	Mar 27th 2017	106
Undermine the moms authority? Huh?	legsdiamond	Mar 27th 2017	96
What do you mean by “look out for and protect mommy”?	Cold Truth	Mar 27th 2017	99
Again you are being too literal.	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 28th 2017	142
100% false. I literally asked you what you meant.	Cold Truth	Mar 28th 2017	166
Again, ppl have said time and time again no one is asking a six	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 28th 2017	176
you made the post. I asked the guy who made the post.	Cold Truth	Mar 28th 2017	181
it's literally not possible logistically	atruhead	Mar 27th 2017	100
lol so many people have such a hard time with others disagreeing with th...	rob	Mar 27th 2017	101
Son, protect your mom but let the rest of the family die	legsdiamond	Mar 27th 2017	107
i promise the concept of protecting women isnt sexist	atruhead	Mar 27th 2017	113
I think you and a lot of others struggle w/this because sexist=BAD	PimpTrickGangstaClik	Mar 27th 2017	115
I agree manliness can be rooted in sexism	atruhead	Mar 27th 2017	119
Because...	Mafamaticks	Mar 27th 2017	121
all those gay people and single parents must have no idea what to do	rob	Mar 27th 2017	122
You're not that dumb yo	Mafamaticks	Mar 27th 2017	123
We send the children in	denny	Mar 29th 2017	247
Home girl says she was into a neighbor until....	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 28th 2017	135
LMAO!!!	Shogun	Mar 28th 2017	160
i promise you're overgeneralizing, and that's sexist.	rob	Mar 27th 2017	120
Yes. The very definition of sexism	PimpTrickGangstaClik	Mar 27th 2017	103
this fucking thread is a burning pile of garbage.	double negative	Mar 27th 2017	109
lmao... it's awesome	legsdiamond	Mar 27th 2017	110
Y'all only had one day for comprehension at school? WTH!! LOL	Case_One	Mar 28th 2017	131
this thread reminds me of all the women	legsdiamond	Mar 27th 2017	111
To be fair women do this for each other all the time at bars...	Sarah_Bellum	Mar 27th 2017	116
no doubt.. my wife is always trying to save women	legsdiamond	Mar 27th 2017	118
To be fair, my wife tells me to chill when dudes try to holler.	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 28th 2017	133
if look out for your dad were the norm the issue would be the same	Atillah Moor	Mar 28th 2017	127
120+ in and no one has asked the most important question....	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 28th 2017	132
How/Where do you draw the line, though?	Shogun	Mar 28th 2017	136
Just do you. If doing you ain't working. Try something else.	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 28th 2017	144
the most important question is too much like right and common sense	ambient1	Mar 28th 2017	137
It probably doesn't help you calling mothers "chics". I'm justsayin.	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 28th 2017	139
doesn't hurt either..i do it in person on a daily basis irl w/o issue	ambient1	Mar 28th 2017	146
The most important question is "why ask a child to protect an adult"	Cold Truth	Mar 28th 2017	140
you guys are taking the word "protect" WAAY too literally.	Shogun	Mar 28th 2017	164
I literally didn't say you were handing a gun to a kid.	Cold Truth	Mar 28th 2017	171
I wasn't referring to you specifically, but your treatise was awesome.	Shogun	Mar 28th 2017	183
you wrote "you guys" in direct response to my post	Cold Truth	Mar 28th 2017	184
as in "some of the respondees in this big ass thread".	Shogun	Mar 28th 2017	186
and for the record, I agreed with a LOT of what you said.	Shogun	Mar 28th 2017	188
I honestly don't see how the thread is so bad	Cold Truth	Mar 28th 2017	192
It's just an extension of 'playing house'.	denny	Mar 29th 2017	246
This post is VERY interesting	13Rose	Mar 28th 2017	134
Green	infin8	Mar 28th 2017	138
If it's sexist for me to tell my son watch out for this Mother, Guard th...	Case_One	Mar 28th 2017	141
^^^Sexist.	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 28th 2017	143
I think there is some disconnect happening	double negative	Mar 28th 2017	145
Would you tell a daughter that? No? Then yes, you're sexist....	PimpTrickGangstaClik	Mar 28th 2017	150
Tell my daughter what? How a man should treat her?	Case_One	Mar 28th 2017	156
...you should apply to be a Fox news correspondent	double negative	Mar 28th 2017	161
Nothing in that post had anything to do w/ how a man should treat a woma...	PimpTrickGangstaClik	Mar 28th 2017	163
Wait. Are you serious?	Case_One	Mar 28th 2017	170
Why are you fighting the label so hard? Lol	PimpTrickGangstaClik	Mar 28th 2017	173
You asked a question.	Case_One	Mar 28th 2017	175
You didn't answer the question lol. You asked a defensive rebuttal quest...	PimpTrickGangstaClik	Mar 28th 2017	179
Whatareyoutawn'bout? You asked ...I responded.	Case_One	Mar 28th 2017	185
You edited.	PimpTrickGangstaClik	Mar 28th 2017	189
Dude I edited the subject line 3 hrs ago.. GTHOHWTM	Case_One	Mar 28th 2017	193
you are missing the point. like, completely.	double negative	Mar 28th 2017	177
What's your opinion of the middle ground?	Case_One	Mar 28th 2017	187
I think you're running away with a close idea but not seeing...	double negative	Mar 28th 2017	190
Ooooh. If you say so.	Case_One	Mar 28th 2017	215
IMO, it's innocence lost! It ain't sexist but may be too much...	Creole	Mar 28th 2017	147
The problem is your are viewing this with no context.	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 28th 2017	148
I think my post provided context...	Creole	Mar 28th 2017	157
The context you keep missing is ALL these ppl saying that they	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 28th 2017	162
I'm not missing that. Parents can do what they choose to...	Creole	Mar 28th 2017	165
yup.	bonamie	Mar 28th 2017	167
Interested to hear it didn't work out for. Sincerely.	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 28th 2017	174
well, if people say they have perfectly healthy relationships	Rjcc	Mar 28th 2017	200
Motherfucker. I literally said "if you mean call 911, get help	Cold Truth	Mar 28th 2017	196
Your Question/Clarification was did I mean it literally?	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 28th 2017	203
Nope. "What do you mean by “look out for and protect mommy	Cold Truth	Mar 28th 2017	204
Holy christ.	denny	Apr 04th 2017	293
Of course someone who chronicallyre constructs words would take issue	Cold Truth	Apr 04th 2017	294
The irony is on FB, I got an academic feminist talking down to...	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 28th 2017	151
or.....women are also affected by living in our culture	Rjcc	Mar 28th 2017	199
Fuck you to anyone who thinks its patriarchy	Lil Rabies	Mar 28th 2017	152
the words and the profile pic combo though got my head spinning. .	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 28th 2017	153
^^^^missing the point^^^^	double negative	Mar 28th 2017	178
^^^^ really the one missing the point^^^^	Case_One	Mar 28th 2017	194
fuckin' respond to #190 for fucks sake.	double negative	Mar 28th 2017	205
If the point is when to ask to protect ot whether protection is needed	Lil Rabies	Mar 28th 2017	211
I guess the Face punch post was too heavy handed. GONE!	Case_One	Mar 28th 2017	159
just a smidge	Atillah Moor	Mar 28th 2017	168
In de face!	Creole	Mar 28th 2017	169
Sexist statement but not necessarily a sexist for saying it	Cocobrotha2	Mar 28th 2017	172
^ agreed.	SoWhat	Mar 28th 2017	180
makes sense.	Shogun	Mar 28th 2017	191
I would go so far as to say we are all guilty of sexism.	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 28th 2017	195
uh huh.	SoWhat	Mar 28th 2017	201
I hear you but I think there is a role dudes have to protect women.	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 28th 2017	206
ok.	SoWhat	Mar 28th 2017	208
nicely done.	Shogun	Mar 28th 2017	202
This is such horseshit.	soulpsychodelicyde	Mar 28th 2017	213
You think that's not a factually correct statement?	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 28th 2017	221
LOL	Rjcc	Mar 28th 2017	224
I mean...	soulpsychodelicyde	Mar 29th 2017	234
I think you made his point and missed it at the same time.	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 29th 2017	238
I read it.	soulpsychodelicyde	Mar 29th 2017	241
So you didn't stop after, "Disregarding feminism..."	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 30th 2017	259
Christ.	soulpsychodelicyde	Mar 30th 2017	262
Are you asking what does calling out Sexism have to do with	Buddy_Gilapagos	Apr 06th 2017	356
I mean when the kid grows up looking out for their mom is imprtant	Atillah Moor	Mar 28th 2017	182
What if your wife started telling them that about you, too?	lightworks	Mar 28th 2017	207
Wouldn't bother me. Not sure the point now but wouldn't bother me	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 28th 2017	210
Doubt I'll ever think that hard over something that petty.	The Wordsmith	Mar 28th 2017	209
The most logic in this post. Made me look for the High Five!	Case_One	Mar 28th 2017	216
This is a post I would make	SeV	Mar 28th 2017	217
Right. I told my girl about this post,	Case_One	Mar 28th 2017	218
rev. jesus christ are you missing the big picture.	double negative	Mar 28th 2017	220
Do you need some attention?	Case_One	Mar 28th 2017	222
Lol	The Wordsmith	Mar 28th 2017	219
so I guess rapes, domestic violence and everything else	Rjcc	Mar 28th 2017	225
You wait 220+ post to drop this gem of poor logic?	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 28th 2017	227
according to you, this is the solution	Rjcc	Mar 28th 2017	228
LOL.. He can't help it.	Case_One	Mar 29th 2017	230
He has no clue how transparent he is to everyone.	denny	Mar 29th 2017	245
don't you have some totally not-racist philosophers to defend?	Rjcc	Mar 30th 2017	253
No I'm here to point out your virtue-signalling	denny	Apr 02nd 2017	267
if you meant, expose the fact that you can't read.	Rjcc	Apr 03rd 2017	276
the best part of the dumbass denny rebranding	Rjcc	Apr 03rd 2017	278
We need a song.	denny	Apr 03rd 2017	283
"Virtue Signalling" has been added to the vocabulary. Good phrase, man.	flipnile	Mar 30th 2017	258
how had you not heard of that	Rjcc	Mar 30th 2017	261
use virtue signaling in a sentence like this hero	Rjcc	Apr 04th 2017	301
Ok. "Wearing a safety pin on one's lapel is virtue signalling"	flipnile	Apr 06th 2017	360
yeah, you had heard of it.	Rjcc	Apr 06th 2017	366
yall armed your tykes and taught them to kill!!!	rdhull	Mar 28th 2017	226
RE: Is it sexist to tell your son, "Look out for your Mama"	JustMe	Mar 29th 2017	229
What's the mixed message?	Case_One	Mar 29th 2017	231
RE: What's the mixed message?	JustMe	Mar 29th 2017	233
good point	sweet ruffian	Mar 29th 2017	239
If I had an older daughter I think I would be careful of that sort of...	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 29th 2017	240
RE: If I had an older daughter I think I would be careful of that sort o...	JustMe	Mar 29th 2017	242
OMG.. I Swear. It's ya'll's world.	Case_One	Mar 30th 2017	250
a big sis is big sis	Lil Rabies	Apr 01st 2017	264
*goes back to OkaySports*	ThaTruth	Mar 29th 2017	232
^^^ retreating to his sexist man-cave	flipnile	Mar 29th 2017	236
Don't think anyone's said it depends on the kid.	denny	Mar 29th 2017	244
I've been thinking about the feminine version of this.	Buddy_Gilapagos	Mar 30th 2017	249
RE: I've been thinking about the feminine version of this.	denny	Apr 02nd 2017	266
Not at all. Not in the slightest. Don't listen to anyone who thinks othe...	Heinz	Mar 30th 2017	248
I swear, Some folks will overthink a Grilled Cheese Samich	Case_One	Mar 30th 2017	251
Bruh, I don't believe this is still on the grill...	Creole	Mar 30th 2017	252
Right...	Case_One	Apr 03rd 2017	280
^^made recent threads about ironing clothes and eye contact	rdhull	Mar 30th 2017	254
To be fair, you view plain old thinking as over thinking	Cold Truth	Mar 30th 2017	255
why does stuff like this bother you so much lol	madwriter	Mar 30th 2017	257
Do you think it's a topic that needs to be discussed over tea?	Case_One	Apr 03rd 2017	282
of course this post would go poast	madwriter	Mar 30th 2017	256
'I'm still here. I'm still here'-(c)Ms. Celie/OKP	rdhull	Mar 30th 2017	260
Our society is not a patriarchy.	denny	Apr 02nd 2017	265
"modern racism isnt shit compared to slavery" - denny	atruhead	Apr 02nd 2017	268
WTF?	denny	Apr 02nd 2017	271
you: things arent that bad, women are doing better than ever	atruhead	Apr 02nd 2017	272
It's part of the problem though.	denny	Apr 03rd 2017	275
no one is accusing you of this	atruhead	Apr 03rd 2017	287
Could you explicitly state the flaw in my argument?	denny	Apr 04th 2017	292
LMAO!!! Oh now you want your own words explained correctly?	Cold Truth	Apr 04th 2017	295
I never said your argument was flawed	atruhead	Apr 04th 2017	297
shouts to denny for creating a straw man argument	Rjcc	Apr 04th 2017	298
your argument is basically a collection of those "liberal logic" memes	Mynoriti	Apr 04th 2017	299
yes it is lol	rdhull	Apr 02nd 2017	269
eh.. Fox/right wing radio uses that line of reasoning quite a bit	Mynoriti	Apr 02nd 2017	270
You don't usually traffic in logical fallacies.	denny	Apr 03rd 2017	273
In contrast.....	denny	Apr 03rd 2017	274
because it's too familiar a tactic to ignore	Mynoriti	Apr 03rd 2017	279
If we spanned the past 100 years of oppressed groups across the world	denny	Apr 03rd 2017	281
this is the dumbest statement I have ever read on OKP.	Rjcc	Apr 03rd 2017	285
you really are all over the place	Mynoriti	Apr 03rd 2017	288
I think I've answered the 'then what?'	denny	Apr 04th 2017	290
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂	Rjcc	Apr 04th 2017	291
you're just now noticing what dumbass denny is?	Rjcc	Apr 03rd 2017	277
That and being a patriarchy are not necessarily imcompatible	ConcreteCharlie	Apr 05th 2017	303
Sometimes I feel like I exist in an alternative universe	Paps_Smear	Apr 03rd 2017	284
lmao	legsdiamond	Apr 03rd 2017	286
All you can do is look and be thankful you're in your right mind.	Case_One	Apr 03rd 2017	289
I think it's fine to ask this question but definitely not an issue	ConcreteCharlie	Apr 04th 2017	296
three hunna	double negative	Apr 04th 2017	300
but do you tell your sons that when you're jealous of a dude	Rjcc	Apr 05th 2017	304
nigga you look like mascot for a single A baseball team	legsdiamond	Apr 05th 2017	305
and you go to the game every week to buy me an ice cream sandwich	Rjcc	Apr 05th 2017	308
it's a feel good statement designed to make	Bblock	Apr 05th 2017	306
^^^^^^^^^^^	Paps_Smear	Apr 05th 2017	307
pretty much	Mynoriti	Apr 05th 2017	309
shouts to y'all for giving out those participation trophies	Rjcc	Apr 05th 2017	310
Wish someone told you to watch out for your hairline	legsdiamond	Apr 05th 2017	311
I know, you'd love to run your fingers through my flowing locks	Rjcc	Apr 05th 2017	315
Ole Imperial Navy Fleet hairline having ass nicca	legsdiamond	Apr 06th 2017	319
yeah I don't really get this reference	Rjcc	Apr 06th 2017	324
only thing you need to get is a shape up	legsdiamond	Apr 06th 2017	326
which haircut would make me look the sexiest for you?	Rjcc	Apr 06th 2017	327
Oh, fuck, lol!	Pete Burns	Apr 06th 2017	318
we need to be "over"thinking this stuff	rob	Apr 05th 2017	312
RE: we need to be "over"thinking this stuff	Lurkmode	Apr 05th 2017	313
society and environment ARE mundane interactions	rob	Apr 05th 2017	314
Nah	Lurkmode	Apr 05th 2017	317
I agree with you in regards to 'overthinking'.	denny	Apr 05th 2017	316
lmao	legsdiamond	Apr 06th 2017	320
This is worth emphasizing. This dude here says this behavoir leads to	Buddy_Gilapagos	Apr 06th 2017	321
Almost feels like a lot of reaching	Paps_Smear	Apr 06th 2017	322
LOL	Rjcc	Apr 06th 2017	323
the problem is y'all are taking criticism as personal attacks	rob	Apr 06th 2017	329
My dude, how is not bad or wrong if it's "dismissive" and "rapey"?	Buddy_Gilapagos	Apr 06th 2017	334
smh @ rapey	legsdiamond	Apr 06th 2017	325
take the challenge friend	Rjcc	Apr 06th 2017	328
RE: This is worth emphasizing. This dude here says this behavoir leads ...	rob	Apr 06th 2017	330
Brosef. This isn't about people not believing women have it tough.	Buddy_Gilapagos	Apr 06th 2017	335
if you think the best solution to women having it rough	rob	Apr 06th 2017	365
hey stupid:	HotThyng76	Apr 06th 2017	338
SoWhat Alias? Why don't you just call me a poopy head?	Buddy_Gilapagos	Apr 06th 2017	340
hey shit head:	HotThyng76	Apr 06th 2017	341
Why bother with the Alias though? Did you get banned?	Buddy_Gilapagos	Apr 06th 2017	342
he got band and came right back with an alias?	legsdiamond	Apr 06th 2017	343
Hotthyng ironically enough was his first name	BigReg	Apr 06th 2017	344
I stopped at "he whips it out"	legsdiamond	Apr 06th 2017	345
i thought that was obvious. Lol	HotThyng76	Apr 06th 2017	348
^^^^^This late arriving, two-cents giving, no count deputy.	Buddy_Gilapagos	Apr 06th 2017	351
You told me to ask. I did. That wasn't good enough. Lol	HotThyng76	Apr 06th 2017	349
The Real Question is, Who in here has Children?	Case_One	Apr 06th 2017	331
RE: The Real Question is, Who in here is a Serial Killer?	ambient1	Apr 06th 2017	332
I have 2.	HotThyng76	Apr 06th 2017	350
Since when?	Case_One	Apr 06th 2017	353
they're older than yours.	HotThyng76	Apr 06th 2017	354
the real question is which children have losers for dads	Rjcc	Apr 06th 2017	357
Oooh, You make it so easy. But I'm gonna let you live	Case_One	Apr 07th 2017	371
How is this place more okayplayery than ever in 2017?	atruhead	Apr 06th 2017	333
Years of refining until you got that uncut pure. No dilution.	Buddy_Gilapagos	Apr 06th 2017	336
https://imgur.com/a/uVFuz	NoDrawls McGraw	Apr 06th 2017	337
^ so relevant.	HotThyng76	Apr 06th 2017	339
Damn! Them charcoals still hot?	Creole	Apr 06th 2017	346
lol I'm saying!	Atillah Moor	Apr 06th 2017	347
had died by the weekend, got turned over and raked yesterday.	Buddy_Gilapagos	Apr 06th 2017	352
exactly, everything you do is about me and your insecurity	Rjcc	Apr 06th 2017	359
RE: exactly, everything you do is about me and your insecurity	Buddy_Gilapagos	Apr 06th 2017	361
you showed your wife yet?	Rjcc	Apr 06th 2017	364
that nigga looks like the winner of a 5 year no fap challenge	legsdiamond	Apr 07th 2017	372
his hairline is the definition of a back court violation	legsdiamond	Apr 07th 2017	373
over and back ass hairline	legsdiamond	Apr 07th 2017	374
they gave him a sun visor for a batting helmet in little league	legsdiamond	Apr 07th 2017	375
he crowding the plate with his forehead. BALD FOUR head..	legsdiamond	Apr 07th 2017	376
keep trying fam, you'll get that pity LOL sooner or later	Rjcc	Apr 07th 2017	377
Bruh, This post done went Triple Plat	Case_One	Apr 06th 2017	355
Is it sexist for mommas to not let their babies grow up to be cowboys?	Creole	Apr 06th 2017	358
it's sexier for mama's to let their babies grow up to be cowboys.	HotThyng76	Apr 06th 2017	362
Momma used to say, "take your time young man, don't you rush..."	flipnile	Apr 06th 2017	363
RE: Momma also used to say, "Stupid is as stupid does," Jenny!	Creole	Apr 06th 2017	367
Mama say mama saw ma-ma cu saw	HotThyng76	Apr 06th 2017	368
This is how I imagine y'all look composing all 300+ replies	Sarah_Bellum	Apr 06th 2017	369
That's pretty funny.	Buddy_Gilapagos	Apr 07th 2017	370
Care to share your take on this?	denny	Apr 07th 2017	378
RE: Care to share your take on this?	Sarah_Bellum	Apr 07th 2017	379
Well-played.	NoDrawls McGraw	Apr 07th 2017	380

Teknontheou
Charter member
32709 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 12:38 PM

1. "Blue - the idea should be to look out for any loved ones (and yourself)."
In response to Reply # 0

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flipnile
Member since Nov 05th 2003
13565 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 12:49 PM

2. "Damn, we have to question basic things like this now?"
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Mar-27-17 12:49 PM by flipnile

Shit is going way left in society nowadays. I can't participate.

Edit: Green all the way.

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Shogun
Member since Jun 25th 2003
3042 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 12:51 PM

4. "Shit is competely off the rails. "
In response to Reply # 2

That was one of the most important things my dad ever told me.

___________

Back again for the first time.

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Bluebear
Member since Apr 06th 2003
3757 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 12:51 PM

5. "shouldn't we be questioning everything?"
In response to Reply # 2

Not saying we have to arrive at the same conclusion but what's wrong with asking the question and thinking about why we do/say certain things?

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Shogun
Member since Jun 25th 2003
3042 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 12:52 PM

6. "why question *THIS* though?"
In response to Reply # 5

of all the shit we need to question why this?

___________

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Bluebear
Member since Apr 06th 2003
3757 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 12:56 PM

7. "It's not the only thing worth questioning but"
In response to Reply # 6

IT does raise an interesting question. What are you teaching your son about his mother, her ability to protect and take care of herself and him, and her role in society (if a 6 year old is more powerful that she is by virtue of being male)? What're you teaching him about his own value and the value of young girls?

I don't think we need to reach the same conclusions, but I think that some degree of questioning and self-examination here is okay.

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Shogun
Member since Jun 25th 2003
3042 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:06 PM

13. "I don't have a son. But I *AM* a son."
In response to Reply # 7

>IT does raise an interesting question. What are you teaching
>your son about his mother, her ability to protect and take
>care of herself and him, and her role in society (if a 6 year
>old is more powerful that she is by virtue of being male)?

No man honestly thinks that a six year-old boy can physically protect his mother. It's instilling values in him that he needs to assume responsibility when his father is absent.

>What're you teaching him about his own value and the value of
>young girls?

That keeping his family safe (his own wife, sons, and daughters) is of utmost importance. As a man it's your job to be a protector of your family.

>
>I don't think we need to reach the same conclusions, but I
>think that some degree of questioning and self-examination
>here is okay.

This isn't something that needs to be questioned.

___________

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Bluebear
Member since Apr 06th 2003
3757 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:21 PM

24. "we'll probably never agree on this "
In response to Reply # 13

I'm not saying that there is no value to raising boys this way. I'm not even saying it's something that needs to be changed. But inherent in telling the boy to take care of his mother (when you're not doing that for your daughters) is a statement that by virtue of being male, he has something that she does not. I'm just saying, it may be worth thinking about what else is conveyed along with the positive messages intended.

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Shogun
Member since Jun 25th 2003
3042 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:26 PM

30. "we won't."
In response to Reply # 24

___________

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 02:19 PM

46. "Yeah dude there is an assumption that a dude will be in a better"
In response to Reply # 24

position than a woman to defend them from predators (ie., other men).

Of course that is not true when they are 6 but I hope it's true by the time they are say 16 (my wife barely weighs 100 lbs).

Do you feel any duty or obligation to protect the women you are out in the streets with?

>
>I'm not saying that there is no value to raising boys this
>way. I'm not even saying it's something that needs to be
>changed. But inherent in telling the boy to take care of his
>mother (when you're not doing that for your daughters) is a
>statement that by virtue of being male, he has something that
>she does not. I'm just saying, it may be worth thinking about
>what else is conveyed along with the positive messages
>intended.
>

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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Bluebear
Member since Apr 06th 2003
3757 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 02:40 PM

53. "Absolutely"
In response to Reply # 46

why is why I don't necessarily think that it's a bad message to give to young boys. My point was just that we need to think about what other messages are conveyed in that statement.

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 02:42 PM

54. "Oh I have no problem with. If it can't stand up to the scrutiny"
In response to Reply # 53

than maybe it's worth abandoning.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:01 PM

11. "no, definitely not. "
In response to Reply # 5

I'll never question why my wife nurses my child.

I'll never question why she is the mother and I'm the father.

I'll never question why she looks for me to protect our home.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:07 PM

14. "😂😂😂😂😂😂"
In response to Reply # 11

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Shogun
Member since Jun 25th 2003
3042 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:07 PM

15. "Why is this even a conversation?"
In response to Reply # 11

>I'll never question why my wife nurses my child.
>
>I'll never question why she is the mother and I'm the father.
>
>
>I'll never question why she looks for me to protect our home.
>

^^^ ALL of that ^^^

___________

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:22 PM

26. "you know why. "
In response to Reply # 15

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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Shogun
Member since Jun 25th 2003
3042 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:24 PM

28. "right."
In response to Reply # 26

___________

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:02 PM

12. "shit is dusgusting"
In response to Reply # 2

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
22151 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:17 PM

22. "why not?"
In response to Reply # 2

I see the connection...I don't think the OP is suggesting not being there or looking out for the mother but more about semantics+messaging and foundational thinking

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

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flipnile
Member since Nov 05th 2003
13565 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:33 PM

31. "I realize that I have different fundamental beliefs than folks here abou..."
In response to Reply # 22
Mon Mar-27-17 01:34 PM by flipnile

It's ok, diversity is cool. I can't debate this anymore on this site tho. Folks have double/triple/quadrupled own on that "men & women are the same" b/w "gender is a social construct" bet.

I don't believe that stuff at all tho (AT ALL).

Anyway, I have too much to say about this, but no matter what anything deviating from the progressive script here on OKP will just be met with shaming attempts (how ironic) and ad hominems.

It's cool if we all don't agree on the same things... that doesn't affect my opinion of anyone here. I appreciate diversity in thought.

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:58 PM

39. "You are not alone"
In response to Reply # 31

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 04:26 PM

74. "this shit is hilarious"
In response to Reply # 31

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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BrooklynWHAT
Member since Jun 15th 2007
85056 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 12:49 PM

3. "dont overthink it. it's perfectly fine."
In response to Reply # 0

<--- Big Baller World Order

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CyrenYoung
Charter member
34204 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 12:57 PM

8. "i don't think its problematic, but it shouldn't be gender-specific..."
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Mar-27-17 12:59 PM by CyrenYoung

..its a stretch, but i can see how someone might view that as patriarchy.

i tell my nephews/nieces to look out for their parents all the time, but its not about being vulnerable. its about awareness and looking out for each other altogether.

*skatin' the rings of saturn*

..and miles to go before i sleep...

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soulpsychodelicyde
Member since Nov 18th 2003
12147 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:33 PM

32. "This is the answer."
In response to Reply # 8

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BigJazz
Charter member
24443 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:34 PM

33. "awareness and looking out for each other altogether. "
In response to Reply # 8

yup

***
I ain't lyin. This shit i'm making up is true...

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ConcreteCharlie
Member since Nov 21st 2002
71387 posts

Wed Apr-05-17 02:06 PM

302. "difference without deference, man"
In response to Reply # 8

"look out for _______" shouldn't be gendered but no way in shit are you gonna tell me you FEEL it with the same severity as a man looking out for your brother as you do your sister and so forth.

it's natural and it's practical. there are other things that feel "natural" that are not really acceptable in society but because they have a palpable harm involved. this doesn't fall under that heading

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 12:58 PM

9. "it seems like something you haven't thought through"
In response to Reply # 0

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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SimplyHannah
Member since Aug 09th 2009
7226 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 12:59 PM

10. "No, it's perfectly fine to tell any child to look out for their parent."
In response to Reply # 0

This is a pretty sad attempt to derail important discussions surrounding patriarchy.

Be obtuse if you want to tho.

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Bluebear
Member since Apr 06th 2003
3757 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:08 PM

16. "I think we need more information"
In response to Reply # 10

For example, are we telling daughters in this situation to take care of their mothers? Or boys to take care of their fathers? The second sentence of the op suggest there is an element of men protecting women (I may be misreading). I think there's something problematic about only telling young boys they need to protect their mothers.

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tariqhu
Charter member
17882 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:13 PM

17. "oh its mos def patriarchy."
In response to Reply # 16

nobody ever asks daughters to protect anyone or for fathers to be protected.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

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Shogun
Member since Jun 25th 2003
3042 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:16 PM

21. "this is a lie."
In response to Reply # 17

>nobody ever asks daughters to protect anyone or for fathers
>to be protected.
>

I was one of the youngest in my extended family and a lot of my older relatives are women. whenever we would go to the park, etc, they were told to look out for me. So yeah. They DO ask daughters to protect people.

___________

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tariqhu
Charter member
17882 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:24 PM

27. "yeah, older kids to younger. sure."
In response to Reply # 21

they don't ask daughters to look out for adults, especially for their dads.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

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Shogun
Member since Jun 25th 2003
3042 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:26 PM

29. "You're moving the goalposts. That's not what you said."
In response to Reply # 27

you said nobody ever asks daughters to protect anybody. That's definitely not true. ask ANYBODY with a big sister.

___________

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tariqhu
Charter member
17882 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:35 PM

34. "not moving anything. this whole post"
In response to Reply # 29

is about asking kids about protecting adults. this was the context of my post.

I also acknowledged that your point is correct.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

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Shogun
Member since Jun 25th 2003
3042 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:14 PM

18. "we also tell boys to look out for their little brothers too."
In response to Reply # 16

>For example, are we telling daughters in this situation to
>take care of their mothers? Or boys to take care of their
>fathers? The second sentence of the op suggest there is an
>element of men protecting women (I may be misreading). I think
>there's something problematic about only telling young boys
>they need to protect their mothers

___________

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MiracleRic
Member since Oct 21st 2002
45200 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:16 PM

20. "we dont tell sons or daughters to look after their dad"
In response to Reply # 18

at least not to my knowledge

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

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Teknontheou
Charter member
32709 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:22 PM

25. "Once Dad gets old. Not while he's perceived as strong and healthy."
In response to Reply # 20

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 02:04 PM

41. "I've had several women tell me to have a daughter because sons"
In response to Reply # 25

get absorbed into their wives families and you need a daughter to look out for you when you get old.

After paying attention to it anecdotally it seems to be true for whatever reason.

>

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 02:08 PM

42. "First thing everyone tells me when I say I have daughters"
In response to Reply # 41

Well, they will definitely take care of you when you get older.

I also wonder if this is regional or a working class thing.

I'm from the rust belt and I specifically remember mothers telling all the kids to watch out/protect their fathers (mostly from themselves). Fathers that were laid off, drunks, always running the streets, etc.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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Teknontheou
Charter member
32709 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 02:14 PM

44. "The sexist reading is that the caretaker role is intertwined with the "
In response to Reply # 41

Mommy role. When Dad/Grandpa gets to the point that he needs to be taken care of for real, the daughters and sisters can step into that more easily because they've been training all their lives for that kind of role.

Men do that kind of thing if they happen to be more oriented to that or take family responsibility seriously. My grandfather was all about taking care of his mother when her Alzheimer's got bad, but that's just who he was. He became the main caretaker for his mother's sister too when she needed it. My father didn't play that kind of role with his mother when she got sick.

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 02:33 PM

49. "Or maybe they know the daughter will be single "
In response to Reply # 44

because no man is good enough.

Joking

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 02:54 PM

58. "I really think its a guys tend to get absorbed in the wife's family thin..."
In response to Reply # 44

Almost all the guys I know live closer to and interact more with their wives family than their own.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:48 PM

36. "If this were trolling there would be clear agreement that it is not"
In response to Reply # 10

an issue.

The fact that there is a basic disagreement on something as lightweight as this probably means it's going to be very difficult to find common ground on the more complex issues.

>This is a pretty sad attempt to derail important discussions
>surrounding patriarchy.
>
>Be obtuse if you want to tho.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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blkprinceMD05
Member since Nov 29th 2004
41323 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 02:15 PM

45. "This seems more like bored posting if anything. Which is warranted "
In response to Reply # 10

At this point. With topics with three replies staying on page one for days

prototype

stand ur ground, believe in urself,
believe in love, prepare urself for love, remove the negativity from ur life, and accept the love u kno u deserve

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
22151 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:15 PM

19. "yes AND no AND maybe AND maybe not"
In response to Reply # 0

on one hand fools and assholes are out there and they are always willing to do really bad shit to women

on the other hand doing this can lightweight plant an idea that women can't protect themselves

if we had more hands, on another hand doing this can tighten family bonds and plant an idea that family looks out for each other

would you say the same thing to your daughters?

would it make more sense to say "look out for each other" instead of "look out for your mother"? that way they will be looking out for everything including each other and the mother

then thinking about it some more, I mean doing this could lay the foundation so they won't become those lazy ass kids who don't lift a finger when moms is struggling with groceries or just general stuff

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

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Shogun
Member since Jun 25th 2003
3042 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:19 PM

23. "and this is what I got from it:"
In response to Reply # 19

>
>if we had more hands, on another hand doing this can tighten
>family bonds and plant an idea that family looks out for each
>other
>

exactly. Look out for each other. Mom takes care of you, so you need to take care of her however you can.

>
>then thinking about it some more, I mean doing this could lay
>the foundation so they won't become those lazy ass kids who
>don't lift a finger when moms is struggling with groceries or
>just general stuff

Definitely.

___________

Back again for the first time.

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:46 PM

35. "I definitely think it's good advice for everyone to look out for each"
In response to Reply # 23

other.

For example, I would also tell a daughter to look out for her girls she goes out with. You got a drunk friend, make sure she gets home safely and doesn't wander off with strange boys.

But back to the original post I also think a guy has an added (or different) duty to look out for the women that he is out on streets with.

Now of course a six-year-old can't actually protect his mother from anything but I think it's about training them to think a certain way.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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Mynoriti
Charter member
38815 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:52 PM

37. "deeming things like this sexist fuck it up for things that are actually ..."
In response to Reply # 0

sexist

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 01:56 PM

38. "It's too late "
In response to Reply # 37

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 02:01 PM

40. "Meh, some things can be lightweight sexist. "
In response to Reply # 37

Holding a door for a woman is probably lightweight sexist, but who gives a shit right?

I think getting fired up about this would be problematic.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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Shogun
Member since Jun 25th 2003
3042 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 07:45 AM

129. "but if I don't do it, I'm an asshole."
In response to Reply # 40

>Holding a door for a woman is probably lightweight sexist,
>but who gives a shit right?

You can't have it both ways. I think it's a civil AND gentlemanly thing to do. All of a sudden it's wrong? WTF, man?

and if I let the door close on that *one* woman who DOESN'T think it's sexist, then now I'm the biggest asshole in the building.

>
>I think getting fired up about this would be problematic.

That ship has sailed, LOL.

___________

Back again for the first time.

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 04:28 PM

76. "y'all love your straw men"
In response to Reply # 37

the REAL problem with sexism is some unnamed unknown person calling some random thing sexist

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Mynoriti
Charter member
38815 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 11:49 PM

124. "straw MEN?"
In response to Reply # 76

smh

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 02:37 AM

125. "the cool part is that your response doesn't impact"
In response to Reply # 124

the way anyone views sexism

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Mynoriti
Charter member
38815 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 04:14 AM

126. "I don't know or care what you're trying to say"
In response to Reply # 125
Tue Mar-28-17 04:15 AM by Mynoriti

god's honest truth

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 01:14 PM

197. "I know, you don't understand."
In response to Reply # 126

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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rdhull
Charter member
33127 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 02:11 PM

43. "nope..and if it was, so what..do it"
In response to Reply # 0

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lightworks
Member since Feb 17th 2006
5818 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 02:27 PM

47. "They six. They ain't gone be fighting ninjas if shit goes down LOL."
In response to Reply # 0

Showing your kids to show love is great and all but I don't think I would go about it in that manner.

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rdhull
Charter member
33127 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 02:31 PM

48. "its about principle and priming"
In response to Reply # 47

not literally being able to kick a grown mans ass at six years of age

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 02:35 PM

50. "even 6 year olds know this shit"
In response to Reply # 48

Most these moms still picking these 6 year olds up with ease.

We knew it was just words...

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 02:36 PM

52. "First off, try and tell that to my boys who think they are power rangers"
In response to Reply # 47

Secondly, I don't think a woman should. I think it would be kind of strange if it was the MOM who was talking about "ok boys, protect me on these streets..."

I don't know why, it's just a dad/son thing.

>Showing your kids to show love is great and all but I don't
>think I would go about it in that manner.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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rdhull
Charter member
33127 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 02:44 PM

55. "RE: First off, try and tell that to my boys who think they are power ran..."
In response to Reply # 52

>Secondly, I don't think a woman should. I think it would be
>kind of strange if it was the MOM who was talking about "ok
>boys, protect me on these streets..."
>
>I don't know why, it's just a dad/son thing.

exactly

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lightworks
Member since Feb 17th 2006
5818 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 06:34 PM

105. "Ha! All I meant was if you're not being literal using different words mi..."
In response to Reply # 52
Mon Mar-27-17 06:35 PM by lightworks

make more sense.

You're basically saying "be nice to your mom", which is all 6 year olds can do at this point.

And that's cool.

But I agree with bonamie you might be setting them up for internalized pressure in some way.

I don't see why you can't just say "Alright y'all don't give your mom any trouble today" or something.

Don't force them to grow up so quickly saddling on a "Y'all watch your mom" at 6.

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bonamie
Charter member
60263 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 02:36 PM

51. "i dont think it's beneficial to the child"
In response to Reply # 0

at all
let him be a child
why add an extra "worry" at this point

-----------------------------------
we aint the two and i aint the one- lyte

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 02:47 PM

56. "I wonder what's the basis for your adamant stance. "
In response to Reply # 51

It's something my dad would tell me and it didn't create any great anxiety in me.

I tell my boys now and they get excited and welcome the assignment.

What makes you so adamant it's a bad thing?

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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bonamie
Charter member
60263 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 02:55 PM

59. "excitement now...burden or pressure later"
In response to Reply # 56

puts me in the mind of Fences
how we pass on unnecessary weight from generation to generation
a whole other post
but im not worried abt the "misogyny"
moreso the effects it has on our boys and men
now and later and forevermore

>It's something my dad would tell me and it didn't create any
>great anxiety in me.
>
>I tell my boys now and they get excited and welcome the
>assignment.
>
>
>What makes you so adamant it's a bad thing?
>
>
>
>**********
>"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then
>they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson
>
>"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

-----------------------------------
we aint the two and i aint the one- lyte

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 03:14 PM

63. "You think it's wrong to raise men with a sense of duty to protect"
In response to Reply # 59

the women they are with?

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 03:16 PM

64. "it's sexist/patriarchal to raise boys w/a higher sense of duty to protec..."
In response to Reply # 63
Mon Mar-27-17 03:18 PM by SoWhat

than the one put on girls.

it's also sexist/patriarchal to raise boys w/a higher sense of duty to protect girls and/or women than the duty to protect other boys and/or men.

and it's sexist to raise boys or girls w/a higher sense of duty to protect girls and/or women than the duty to protect boys and/or men.

fuck you.

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bonamie
Charter member
60263 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 03:18 PM

65. "all pple shld have a sense of duty to anyone they are with"
In response to Reply # 63

especially family
but as a 6yo
especially a son to a mom?
that's just really too much
and probably something that doesnt need to be said
it's innate
again, black children are so unnecessarily burdened with so much
why keep adding to it

-----------------------------------
we aint the two and i aint the one- lyte

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 05:34 PM

97. "I have no expectation that a woman physically defends me. "
In response to Reply # 65

I do think I have a duty to physically defend a woman who is in my company.

That sense of duty has not impaired me. Boys and men can handle it.

I think you'd be hardpress to show me otherwise.

>especially family
>but as a 6yo
>especially a son to a mom?
>that's just really too much
>and probably something that doesnt need to be said
>it's innate
>again, black children are so unnecessarily burdened with so
>much
>why keep adding to it
>

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 08:09 PM

112. "best believe when shit gets real they expect you to step up "
In response to Reply # 97

and BE A MAN and protect them.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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Shogun
Member since Jun 25th 2003
3042 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 07:38 AM

128. "when shit happens, it's the first thing out of their mouths, ain't it?"
In response to Reply # 112

>and BE A MAN and protect them.
>
>

"why can't you be a man?!?!?"

"If you were a *real* man"

___________

Back again for the first time.

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bonamie
Charter member
60263 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:38 AM

149. "i see ALOT of HURT ALERT above "
In response to Reply # 128

so im good
go watch Fences somewhere
maybe one day it will resonate.

-----------------------------------
we aint the two and i aint the one- lyte

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Shogun
Member since Jun 25th 2003
3042 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:50 AM

154. "is that a clinical diagnosis, or what?"
In response to Reply # 149

Just wanna be sure.

___________

Back again for the first time.

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flipnile
Member since Nov 05th 2003
13565 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:51 AM

155. "^^^ Shaming attempt bruh, don't take the bait"
In response to Reply # 149

It's designed to have you start defending yourself, on some "no, wait... I'm not hurt tho!"

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Shogun
Member since Jun 25th 2003
3042 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:54 AM

158. "slow day at work. I'm here for the entertainment of it all."
In response to Reply # 155

It's amazing how this whole shit got turned upside down simply because some fathers want to try to instill some positive values to their sons, though.

New Rule:
"shit is real out here, my son. Look out for #1"

___________

Back again for the first time.

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soulpsychodelicyde
Member since Nov 18th 2003
12147 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 03:36 PM

212. "*sips tea*"
In response to Reply # 149

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SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 03:06 PM

60. "i agree."
In response to Reply # 51

fuck you.

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Damali
Member since Sep 12th 2002
35863 posts

Wed Mar-29-17 02:06 PM

237. "same"
In response to Reply # 60

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 02:51 PM

57. "Again, this is the WORLD ya'll wanted. "
In response to Reply # 0

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 03:13 PM

62. "a world of constant misery and poutrage"
In response to Reply # 57

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
22151 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 03:18 PM

66. "care to explain yourself there Mr. Salve?"
In response to Reply # 57

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 04:11 PM

70. "We're living in a world that wants to eliminate gender and gender roles "
In response to Reply # 66

and all that wholes basic balance in relationships and family.

So ask if it's sexist to tell a young male to look after his mother is so telling of some of what's so wrong with our society - in certain aspects.

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 04:19 PM

72. "LOL. this dumb fuck"
In response to Reply # 70

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 04:26 PM

73. "If we were sitting in an empty room would you say that to my face? "
In response to Reply # 72

NO. Just like this post, you only exist online.

The point beings is that REAL MEN conduct themselves in a manner that is honorable and respectable of one another. You on the other have are neither and thus don't require the latter, therefore you wouldn't be treated as a man, but more like a child.

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 04:28 PM

77. "come through bro"
In response to Reply # 73

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 04:32 PM

78. "We ain't bro's. I don't roll with you're kind."
In response to Reply # 77
Mon Mar-27-17 04:37 PM by Case_One

What's your kind you may ask? The kind of trash talking internet troll that only talks crap because he know that time and distance is his best ally and comfort.

You would never say a quarter of the crap you spit if you were in a barbershop among men. You'd just sit there all quite waiting for next.

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 04:40 PM

80. "you made the threat. you then gave an excuse why it wouldn't happen"
In response to Reply # 78

that's really all there is to it.

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 04:45 PM

82. "See, playa, I didn't make a threat. I asked a question."
In response to Reply # 80
Mon Mar-27-17 04:46 PM by Case_One

Your sensitive nature only perceived the question as a threat because of the you that's inside of you.

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 04:49 PM

83. "yes, we all know you wouldn't do shit but talk."
In response to Reply # 82

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 04:55 PM

85. "I guess you'd have to find out. But still, you wouldn't say it -"
In response to Reply # 83

to my face or even talk like that among men, even at a barbershop.

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 05:16 PM

92. "you've been invited."
In response to Reply # 85

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 05:22 PM

94. "If you say so."
In response to Reply # 92

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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Dstl1
Charter member
56226 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 05:04 PM

88. "LMAO!! I'm not trying to get in yall's thing, here..."
In response to Reply # 82

but, "the you that's inside of you" made me laugh out loud at work. Sounds like a song somebody would perform on American Idol to win the whole thing.

...I'm from the era when A.I. was the answer, now they think ai is the answer - Marlon Craft

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 05:13 PM

91. "He knows what it is"
In response to Reply # 88

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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Mafamaticks
Member since Jan 12th 2004
4667 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 05:35 PM

98. "Basically"
In response to Reply # 91

niggas that act the way he acts on here don't be in photos like his avi. Too many white folks are too comfortable with him.

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 07:22 PM

108. "TOO MANY WHITE FOLKS"
In response to Reply # 98

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 08:43 AM

130. "Looks like an Alternative Movie Poster for GET OUT"
In response to Reply # 108

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 01:15 PM

198. "^^^niggas who have spent years obsessed with my avatar"
In response to Reply # 130

multiple years

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 04:40 PM

214. "Oh Lort!"
In response to Reply # 198

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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isaaaa
Member since May 10th 2007
30565 posts

Fri Mar-31-17 12:34 PM

263. "RE: Basically"
In response to Reply # 98

LOL, that was funny.

Anti-gentrification, cheap alcohol & trying to look pretty in our twilight posting years (c) Big Reg

Just trying to share the world - www.JySbr.net

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 05:25 PM

95. "Lmao"
In response to Reply # 88

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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NoDrawls McGraw
Member since Jun 24th 2007
12122 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 09:54 PM

223. "Word is bond, dat shit was on JEDI level accuracy!"
In response to Reply # 88
Tue Mar-28-17 09:55 PM by NoDrawls McGraw

The Force was VERY strong wit dat reply.

Case givin' ninjaz open-heart surgery n shit....lol.

https://chriswind.bandcamp.com/track/massage

"You can take an African out of Africa, but you can't take Africa out of the African"
Afro-Americana/Afro-Caribbana/Afro-Latino unite. We are ALL Black!

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infin8
Charter member
10401 posts

Wed Mar-29-17 11:11 AM

235. "*Star Search*"
In response to Reply # 88

IG: amadu_me

"...Whateva, man..." (c) Redman

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Wed Mar-29-17 04:43 PM

243. "^^^people who really want it to be one way but it's the other"
In response to Reply # 235

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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rob
Charter member
23210 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 06:25 PM

104. "yeah, we want a world where women aren't perceived as weak"
In response to Reply # 70

or expected to be vulnerable out in the streets

we want a world where young men aren't pressured to be something before they're ready for it or understand the responsibility.

we want a world where everyone is raised to take care of everyone else, not because that's their role, but because it's human.

thousands of years of gender roles and it's NEVER made women safe. why would we want to keep doing it the same wrong way?

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atruhead
Charter member
85230 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 08:26 PM

114. "dog makes everything an LGBT topic, talk about commitment"
In response to Reply # 70

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SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 03:20 PM

68. "the world was better when women just knew their place"
In response to Reply # 57

and shut the fuck up. that way you ppl could keep them down to make yourselves feel better about the way whitey keeps his foot on your neck. women were the receptacle into which you threw all of your outrage about your own mistreatment about which you were powerless to do anything and you didn't appreciate whitey emasculating you like that so you needed to be able to lord over women to make yourselves feel like men. but now women fuck it all up w/their backtalk. you can't even slap a bitch for laughs anymore.

this world is toxic.

fuck you.

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 04:13 PM

71. "Do you know your place? Why you mad?"
In response to Reply # 68

This post ain't about your feelings playa, it's about basic roles and duties of a MAN. DO you have a problem with being one and with basic rules, roles, and responsibility of being a MAN?

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 04:27 PM

75. "oh you're trying to do that thing you've seen me do."
In response to Reply # 71

it doesn't work here. at all.

no, i'm not talking about my 'feelings' and i'm not 'mad'.

the post asks if putting a 'duty' on a 6 yr old boy to protect his mother is sexist. i say it is if the same 'duty' isn't or wouldn't be put on a similarly situated 6 yr old girl.

it's pretty simple.

fuck you.

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 04:36 PM

79. "Nah, not even. But you're still mad. "
In response to Reply # 75

>it doesn't work here. at all.
>
>no, i'm not talking about my 'feelings' and i'm not 'mad'.
>
>the post asks if putting a 'duty' on a 6 yr old boy to protect
>his mother is sexist. i say it is if the same 'duty' isn't or
>wouldn't be put on a similarly situated 6 yr old girl.
>
>it's pretty simple.
>

WHAT? So you miss the whole aspect of training a male in the ways of being a man what protects his family. Gotcha.

Carry on.

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 04:41 PM

81. "k."
In response to Reply # 79

fuck you.

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SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 03:08 PM

61. "yeah, that's sexist."
In response to Reply # 0

it's not sexist if you would also tell your daughter to look out for her mother. or tell your daughter to look out for you. and tell your daughter to look out for her brothers.

otherwise it's sexist.

and i'm w/bonamie - i wouldn't do any of that. let a kid be a kid.

fuck you.

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atruhead
Charter member
85230 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 08:37 PM

117. "men learn how to protect themselves, women and children"
In response to Reply # 61

>it's not sexist if you would also tell your daughter to look
>out for her mother. or tell your daughter to look out for
>you. and tell your daughter to look out for her brothers.

it might be more chauvinist than sexist (and I know drawing the distinction is some pedophilia vs. ephebophilia shit, meaning you're splitting hairs for almost no reason) but I think it depends on the man in question

my aunt's husband has shitty views on women, like she cant go on trips without him present
but my father in law just believes a man should possess certain traits to be the head of a household, it hasn't been expressed but Im sure Im expected to protect his daughter

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ambient1
Member since May 23rd 2007
41077 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 03:19 PM

67. "LOL..i been tellin my son that since he could talk...if it is..so be it"
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Mar-27-17 03:19 PM by ambient1

but this is goofy

=======================================
Coolin...

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JellyBean
Charter member
16875 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 04:04 PM

69. "Fucking Feminists!"
In response to Reply # 0

There is nothing wrong with a man telling his son(s) to protect their mother.

I'm not fussing at you...this shit just irritates my soul

Why does shit always have to be so damn difficult? For all intents and purposes, the man is here to protect the woman/family.

Am I for female empowerment? Hell yeah! But everything that is "traditional" is not a jab at feminism...

"Holier than thou never sits well with me."(c)janey

"OKP spends way too much time looking for ways to be offended." ~legsdiamond

http://twitter.com/jeleighbean

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 05:07 PM

90. "Thank you"
In response to Reply # 69

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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PimpTrickGangstaClik
Member since Oct 06th 2005
15894 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 06:18 PM

102. "It don't have to be difficult. Its okay to be anti-feminist in some rega..."
In response to Reply # 69
Mon Mar-27-17 06:19 PM by PimpTrickGangstaClik

Some people act like there's some type of purity test. If you don't check all the boxes, then you are one of "them"

It's not bad if you agree with some gender roles and disagree with others.

>There is nothing wrong with a man telling his son(s) to
>protect their mother.
>
>I'm not fussing at you...this shit just irritates my soul
>
>Why does shit always have to be so damn difficult? For all
>intents and purposes, the man is here to protect the
>woman/family.
>
>Am I for female empowerment? Hell yeah! But everything that
>is "traditional" is not a jab at feminism...

_______________________________________

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JellyBean
Charter member
16875 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 04:54 PM

84. "Also, I love how most"
In response to Reply # 0

of the responses are from MEN.

There is nothing sexist about a man telling his sons to protect their life giver.

I'm all for gender equality, I'm for being who you want to be whatever that is...as long as you're happy and as long as your happiness doesn't infringe upon my happiness, we ain't got no issue!

but those of us who live our lives with the simple basic xy=boy xx=girl gender construct shouldn't be vilified because we don't think the way others do. It is POSSIBLE to have an open mind/heart and still have your OWN values or whateverthefuck.

"Holier than thou never sits well with me."(c)janey

"OKP spends way too much time looking for ways to be offended." ~legsdiamond

http://twitter.com/jeleighbean

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 04:57 PM

86. "YES! To all of this!"
In response to Reply # 84

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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Frobert
Member since Nov 03rd 2003
1547 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 05:03 PM

87. "Kinda seems to undermine the mother's authority to me"
In response to Reply # 0

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JellyBean
Charter member
16875 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 05:07 PM

89. "Protection has nothing to do"
In response to Reply # 87

with authority.

That's like when parents tell Big Sibling to take care of Little Sibling...that doesn't automatically give Big Sibling authority over Little Sibling, just means if Little Sibling gets into some shit Big Sibling should have their back.

"Holier than thou never sits well with me."(c)janey

"OKP spends way too much time looking for ways to be offended." ~legsdiamond

http://twitter.com/jeleighbean

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 05:16 PM

93. "..."
In response to Reply # 89

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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rob
Charter member
23210 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 06:37 PM

106. "yeah totally, it's like, moms are kids"
In response to Reply # 89

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 05:31 PM

96. "Undermine the moms authority? Huh?"
In response to Reply # 87

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
44831 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 05:41 PM

99. "What do you mean by “look out for and protect mommy”? "
In response to Reply # 0

What does that entail?

There are gray areas in between but an adult is an adult and a child is a child. The parent's job is to protect the child. The gender of either is 100% immaterial. A mother’s job is to protect her child, not the other way around. If a child finds him or herself in a situation where they have to help/protect/save mommy, well, shit happens. Personally I’d never put that burden on my kids and neither would my wife.

This does change a little with age and circumstance, but not much. If my son is 16 years old, in good shape, etc, I’m still not telling him to do anything but play defense and try to get himself and my wife out of the situation as best he can. The question as posed is very general but my “assignment” entails thinking on his feet and getting out of that situation unharmed.

Same goes for my daughter. That said, unless my wife is somehow weak or unable to address the situation, their job is to follow her lead and her orders in that moment. My assignment doesn’t provide critical thinking for them in real time and if I’m not around they need to be able to react and figure things out accordingly.

Because kids are kids. Children. An adult is an adult. The parent. The protector. That’s part of the job.

If “protect mommy” means RUN, GET HELP, CALL 911, then yeah, I’m on board. If something real pops off, “protect mommy” absolutely doesn’t mean to get involved directly unless there’s just no choice

You said your pops gave you those instructions and you’re just fine and never had any anxiety over it. I’m happy to hear that.

My question is, did you ever have to protect your mother from real violence? If so, at what age and how severe was the situation?

I went there, did that and walked the walk many times from ages 7 through 14 and some of those situations were very real…. And not “fun” or “exciting” in the least.

I read how you said your boys were excited and up for the assignment. The idea of it is good and well but when you're a child and you're actually faced with having to try to save mom from an ass whoopin from a grown ass man, there's no "fun" or "excitement" in the "assignment" in real life.

Nobody ever gave me an assignment, I just responded in the way I thought was best. Sometimes I brought some shit that did serious damage (fire, a tree branch, shit like that) so that retaliation wasn’t even possible, but other times I just plain got lucky. My current stepdad pushed my mom when I was 14 and I lit him up with punches to the face. I don’t know why he chose not to be physical with me after pushing my mom but he could have beat my ass with ease and didn’t hit me back.

It's cute and fun in play but the reality of that scenario in practice is seriously fucked up. I can look at myself with pride and know I handled that work admirably- and, I'd say, quite effectively on several occasions- but that's really not a task I'd ever assign my children, male or female.

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:01 AM

142. "Again you are being too literal. "
In response to Reply # 99

Men say this (and have been saying this) to their sons not because they expect their children to ward off street gangs but to get them in the mindset of protecting the women around.

There might come a time where their actual protection is needed as you illustrated but that expecation isn't there until they can physically do so.

This conversation goes hand in hand with screaming for help, getting the police, calling 911, etc.

I don't know why you would think anyone is advocating that six year olds get in hand to hand combat with adults on their mothers behalf.

>What does that entail?
>
>There are gray areas in between but an adult is an adult and a
>child is a child. The parent's job is to protect the child.
>The gender of either is 100% immaterial. A mother’s job is
>to protect her child, not the other way around. If a child
>finds him or herself in a situation where they have to
>help/protect/save mommy, well, shit happens. Personally I’d
>never put that burden on my kids and neither would my wife.
>
>This does change a little with age and circumstance, but not
>much. If my son is 16 years old, in good shape, etc, I’m
>still not telling him to do anything but play defense and try
>to get himself and my wife out of the situation as best he
>can. The question as posed is very general but my
>“assignment” entails thinking on his feet and getting out
>of that situation unharmed.
>
>Same goes for my daughter. That said, unless my wife is
>somehow weak or unable to address the situation, their job is
>to follow her lead and her orders in that moment. My
>assignment doesn’t provide critical thinking for them in
>real time and if I’m not around they need to be able to
>react and figure things out accordingly.
>
>Because kids are kids. Children. An adult is an adult. The
>parent. The protector. That’s part of the job.
>
>If “protect mommy” means RUN, GET HELP, CALL 911, then
>yeah, I’m on board. If something real pops off, “protect
>mommy” absolutely doesn’t mean to get involved directly
>unless there’s just no choice
>
>
>You said your pops gave you those instructions and you’re
>just fine and never had any anxiety over it. I’m happy to
>hear that.
>
>My question is, did you ever have to protect your mother from
>real violence? If so, at what age and how severe was the
>situation?
>
>
>I went there, did that and walked the walk many times from
>ages 7 through 14 and some of those situations were very
>real…. And not “fun” or “exciting” in the least.
>
>I read how you said your boys were excited and up for the
>assignment. The idea of it is good and well but when you're a
>child and you're actually faced with having to try to save mom
>from an ass whoopin from a grown ass man, there's no "fun" or
>"excitement" in the "assignment" in real life.
>
>Nobody ever gave me an assignment, I just responded in the way
>I thought was best. Sometimes I brought some shit that did
>serious damage (fire, a tree branch, shit like that) so that
>retaliation wasn’t even possible, but other times I just
>plain got lucky. My current stepdad pushed my mom when I was
>14 and I lit him up with punches to the face. I don’t know
>why he chose not to be physical with me after pushing my mom
>but he could have beat my ass with ease and didn’t hit me
>back.
>
>It's cute and fun in play but the reality of that scenario in
>practice is seriously fucked up. I can look at myself with
>pride and know I handled that work admirably- and, I'd say,
>quite effectively on several occasions- but that's really not
>a task I'd ever assign my children, male or female.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
44831 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 11:10 AM

166. "100% false. I *literally* asked you what you meant. "
In response to Reply # 142

I literally *asked* you to clarify where you were coming from.

I literally asked “what does that entail?”

I literally said “If “protect mommy” means RUN, GET HELP, CALL 911, then yeah, I’m on board.”

I literally allowed for the possibility that this is what you meant and agreed with the sentiment in that context if that’s what you meant.

I *also*, which means “not exclusively, but in addition to”, expanded the scope of the conversation to what it can actually mean in the mind of a child if all they’re told is “look out for and protect mommy”.

Since you didn’t explain what you meant or how you I asked perfectly reasonable questions to clarify.

So, sorry to burst your snarky ass bubble, but I literally asked for clarification, stated what you possibly meant- which was something you literally agreed with-and expanded on what the idea of “protect mommy” could mean in the mind of a child without more specific instruction.

What’s literal is that I didn’t assume one way or another champ, I literally asked.

Again, god forbid someone expand the scope of a discussion beyond the simplest, most basic terms possible.

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 11:44 AM

176. "Again, ppl have said time and time again no one is asking a six"
In response to Reply # 166

year old to come to blows in the street for their mama.

If you ingested that part of the convo, it would have answered a lot of your questions before you asked them.

>I literally *asked* you to clarify where you were coming
>from.
>
>I literally asked “what does that entail?”
>
>I literally said “If “protect mommy” means RUN, GET
>HELP, CALL 911, then yeah, I’m on board.”
>
>I literally allowed for the possibility that this is what you
>meant and agreed with the sentiment in that context if
>that’s what you meant.
>
>I *also*, which means “not exclusively, but in addition
>to”, expanded the scope of the conversation to what it can
>actually mean in the mind of a child if all they’re told is
>“look out for and protect mommy”.
>
>Since you didn’t explain what you meant or how you I asked
>perfectly reasonable questions to clarify.
>
>So, sorry to burst your snarky ass bubble, but I literally
>asked for clarification, stated what you possibly meant- which
>was something you literally agreed with-and expanded on what
>the idea of “protect mommy” could mean in the mind of a
>child without more specific instruction.
>
>What’s literal is that I didn’t assume one way or another
>champ, I literally asked.
>
>Again, god forbid someone expand the scope of a discussion
>beyond the simplest, most basic terms possible.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
44831 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 12:11 PM

181. "you made the post. I asked the guy who made the post. "
In response to Reply # 176
Tue Mar-28-17 12:15 PM by Cold Truth

I didn't- and shouldn't/wouldn't be expected to by any reasonable person- read ALL NINETY EIGHT POSTS before mine before asking a perfectly reasonable and civil question.

You could have simply said "this was answered earlier in the post" but NOPE. You tried to pretend I was reactionary and making all these assumptions instead of asking a simple question of clarification.

So when I point out how I literally did the exact opposite of what you thought, you move the goalpost to "others have explained and had you read 98 posts before this you'd have had your question answered"

Seems a real man like yourself could have simply accepted that you were wrong or mistaken. Of course, that kind of person would have actually read the post he responded to without the knee jerk bullshit you replied with in the first place.

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atruhead
Charter member
85230 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 05:58 PM

100. "it's literally not possible logistically"
In response to Reply # 0

"man of the house when Im not around" applies to maybe 15 years and older, in that instance raising an adolescent male to be a protector is not at all patriarchy

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rob
Charter member
23210 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 06:16 PM

101. "lol so many people have such a hard time with others disagreeing with th..."
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Mar-27-17 06:16 PM by rob

especially when they can't explain why they're right.

yes, it's sexist as fuck if you're asking only boys to protect only their mom. everybody looks after everybody.

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 07:14 PM

107. "Son, protect your mom but let the rest of the family die"
In response to Reply # 101

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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atruhead
Charter member
85230 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 08:20 PM

113. "i promise the concept of protecting women isnt sexist"
In response to Reply # 101

some things are just what you're supposed to do as a man

open car doors when you're both getting in
open difficult jars for her
be handy with tools
kill insects
carry the heavy items (for your significant other. we traveled with her aunt who packed 75 pounds of luggage and me carrying it around was some bullshit)
make sure the bills are covered

not because she's weak or inferior, but because we aren't supposed to be equal in every way. not being equal doesnt mean one party is better. there are just different expectations, especially if her father raised her to expect these things

women deserve equal pay and treatment from the world. they also deserve protection and manly deeds from men

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PimpTrickGangstaClik
Member since Oct 06th 2005
15894 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 08:34 PM

115. "I think you and a lot of others struggle w/this because sexist=BAD"
In response to Reply # 113

You're thinking, I'm not sexist...I have women friends!!

A lot of the customs and traditions in our culture are inherently sexist, but they aren't necessarily all bad. Some are, but some are just nice things to do that have roots in sexism.

What makes the things you listed "man things? What is the reason men are supposed to do them? Why on those things are we not supposed to be equal?

_______________________________________

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atruhead
Charter member
85230 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 08:44 PM

119. "I agree manliness can be rooted in sexism"
In response to Reply # 115

but protecting women should be automatic like going on green and stopping at red

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Mafamaticks
Member since Jan 12th 2004
4667 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 09:05 PM

121. "Because..."
In response to Reply # 115
Mon Mar-27-17 09:18 PM by Mafamaticks

>A lot of the customs and traditions in our culture are inherently sexist

A lot of our customs and traditions were based on a biological need to survive as a species. Granted men took that shit and went ham. This sexism shit is brand new considering how long we've been on the earth.

>What makes the things you listed "man things? What is the
>reason men are supposed to do them? Why on those things are we
>not supposed to be equal?

Because when you're wife hears a bump in the night, and wakes you up and asks you to go check it, and you tell her, "nah you go instead and Imma wait here", that's the start of the end of the relationship.

Humans are still animals, and the same biological urges and behaviors that helped the human species survive for thousands of years are still in us. Women have always valued security in a relationship. In the 21st century, the definition of security is more broad then fending off wild animals, but still.

Some shit men are always gonna do and some shit are women are always gonna do.

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rob
Charter member
23210 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 09:13 PM

122. "all those gay people and single parents must have no idea what to do"
In response to Reply # 121

when they hear those bumps in the night

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Mafamaticks
Member since Jan 12th 2004
4667 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 09:23 PM

123. "You're not that dumb yo"
In response to Reply # 122
Mon Mar-27-17 09:31 PM by Mafamaticks

c'mon now.

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denny
Member since Apr 11th 2008
11281 posts

Wed Mar-29-17 11:14 PM

247. "We send the children in "
In response to Reply # 122
Wed Mar-29-17 11:15 PM by denny

and hide under the bed til we get clearance. 'Is that the ice cream man I heard in the basement?'

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 09:18 AM

135. "Home girl says she was into a neighbor until...."
In response to Reply # 121

she had a mouse in her crib and she asked him to come over and help her deal with it and he was straight up scared.

No more interest after that.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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Shogun
Member since Jun 25th 2003
3042 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:57 AM

160. "LMAO!!!"
In response to Reply # 135

___________

Back again for the first time.

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rob
Charter member
23210 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 09:03 PM

120. "i promise you're overgeneralizing, and that's sexist. "
In response to Reply # 113

>some things are just what you're supposed to do as a man
>
>open car doors when you're both getting in
>open difficult jars for her
>be handy with tools
>kill insects
>carry the heavy items (for your significant other. we traveled
>with her aunt who packed 75 pounds of luggage and me carrying
>it around was some bullshit)
>make sure the bills are covered
>
>not because she's weak or inferior, but because we aren't
>supposed to be equal in every way. not being equal doesnt mean
>one party is better. there are just different expectations,
>especially if her father raised her to expect these things
>
>women deserve equal pay and treatment from the world. they
>also deserve protection and manly deeds from men

you have to lack some self-awareness to not see the connection between your list and the fact that women don't get equal pay and equal treatment.

helping doesn't making you an asshole. being a "good guy" in our culture doesn't mean you're the problem. i live in a place where many of those things are expected, and i don't have a problem doing some of them myself, as long as i know it's wanted and appreciated.

but not recognizing how it relates to structural sexism and not accepting that those roles can chafe...not being open enough to realize we can still be polite but in more varied ways...that's a problem.

again, what's wrong with doing things for people because they're people, and not because men do things for women? what's wrong with doing things you're good at because you're you, not because you're a man?

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PimpTrickGangstaClik
Member since Oct 06th 2005
15894 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 06:22 PM

103. "Yes. The very definition of sexism"
In response to Reply # 0

If you wouldn't say the same to a daughter simply because she is a girl, I don't know how it could be anything other than sexism.

_______________________________________

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
22151 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 07:30 PM

109. "this fucking thread is a burning pile of garbage. "
In response to Reply # 0

and I think some of you idiots fucked up and skipped reading comprehension day at school.

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 08:01 PM

110. "lmao... it's awesome"
In response to Reply # 109

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 08:44 AM

131. "Y'all only had one day for comprehension at school? WTH!! LOL"
In response to Reply # 109

>and I think some of you idiots fucked up and skipped reading
>comprehension day at school.

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 08:07 PM

111. "this thread reminds me of all the women"
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Mar-27-17 08:08 PM by legsdiamond

who have told their SO/mate they can take care of themselves at the club/bar. To stop intervening when a guy is trying talking to them and getting a little aggressive or being a little disrespectful. Usually when it involves old friends, Ex's or dudes who are trying to holla...

and the next time at the bar and the guy didn't intervene and the woman getst mad as shit.

"Why didn't you help me? Why didn't you step in? I expect my man to protect me"

smh...

it's all sexist to the shit goes down..

then all a sudden they look for the men to step in and step up.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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Sarah_Bellum
Charter member
7489 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 08:35 PM

116. "To be fair women do this for each other all the time at bars..."
In response to Reply # 111

Happens anytime women party in groups or two or more.
I've stepped in a hundred times when some dude at a club or bar was making a friend uncomfortable and vice versa.
If a friend saw I needed help getting away from someone making me uncomfortable and did nothing to help but watch I'd be mad, male or female.
Who goes out in the streets and leave a friend hanging like that.
___________________________________________________________

DJTB YOMM

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Mon Mar-27-17 08:39 PM

118. "no doubt.. my wife is always trying to save women"
In response to Reply # 116
Mon Mar-27-17 08:40 PM by legsdiamond

but I'm specifically talking about some women telling their SO's not to help them because they are strong enough to do it themselves then use it against the guy when he is dumb enough to respect her wishes.

and honestly, it's better when women step in because a lot of times these interventions can lead to fights when it's 2 men.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 09:14 AM

133. "To be fair, my wife tells me to chill when dudes try to holler. "
In response to Reply # 118

She's been in NY long enough to know how to deflect guys. When I get involve it escalates to places it doesn't need to go.

If she tries to deflect and dudes don't fall back, then I can step in. But if I jump in from the start it can be 0 to 100 real quick.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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Atillah Moor
Member since Sep 05th 2013
13825 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 07:09 AM

127. "if look out for your dad were the norm the issue would be the same "
In response to Reply # 0

can't win lol

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 09:11 AM

132. "120+ in and no one has asked the most important question...."
In response to Reply # 0
Tue Mar-28-17 09:11 AM by Buddy_Gilapagos

IMHOP which is, "Well how does the mother feel about it?" SMH

(To Be Honest, Rob did mention it's a question of whether the woman wants it or appreciates it).

If the mother finds it condescending and demeaning, it's probably a bad look.

If the mother is supportive and gets the goal of it, then who is anyone else to judge another family's dynamic?

My personal opinion is yeah it's sexist but so are a lot of things associated with being a "gentleman" but as long as it's welcomed and appreciated it's all good. Also it's possible to open doors and support equal pay.

And alot of you all are either robots, aliens or being brand new to act so perplexed by the issue to think anyone is literally suggesting that six year olds fight off street gangs. Trust that there aren't young men walking around scarred because they couldn't handle the duty imposed on them because someone asked them to look out for their mother. It's just not a real world thing.

I also wonder how the divide in this post splits between people with strong healthy father figures and not?

I also think the anti-feminist don't need to catch so much hard feelings about this. If other people find it sexist and don't like it, let them live with that. These aren't people you will ever have to date, marry or raise kids with (I don't think not a single mother of boys chimed in against this). The "fuck feminist" and three other post on the same topic aren't needed.

Anyway, interesting read. Thanks.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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Shogun
Member since Jun 25th 2003
3042 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 09:22 AM

136. "How/Where do you draw the line, though?"
In response to Reply # 132

>
>
>My personal opinion is yeah it's sexist but so are a lot of
>things associated with being a "gentleman" but as long as it's
>welcomed and appreciated it's all good.

How do you know it welcomed until you do it? Do you NOT do gentlemanly shit and hope for the best? Do you do what you think is right and ultimately get shit for it?

It's a mess out here.

___________

Back again for the first time.

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:08 AM

144. "Just do you. If doing you ain't working. Try something else. "
In response to Reply # 136

If it's working for you then ain't no reason to listen to some yokles online.

If it isn't working for you then this might be one of those issues getting in the way.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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ambient1
Member since May 23rd 2007
41077 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 09:40 AM

137. "the most important question is too much like right and common sense"
In response to Reply # 132

ain't no chic (mother) trippin off anybody sayin that out here

=======================================
Coolin...

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 09:49 AM

139. "It probably doesn't help you calling mothers "chics". I'm justsayin."
In response to Reply # 137

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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ambient1
Member since May 23rd 2007
41077 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:18 AM

146. "doesn't hurt either..i do it in person on a daily basis irl w/o issue"
In response to Reply # 139

if someone was offended I wouldn't call THEM that

but yeah...I'm not one to rock the PC umbrella eryday

=======================================
Coolin...

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
44831 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 09:52 AM

140. "The most important question is "why ask a child to protect an adult""
In response to Reply # 132
Tue Mar-28-17 09:55 AM by Cold Truth

The next important question is “why does anyone think a 6-year-old boy is better equipped to protect an adult woman than that adult woman is to protect herself?”

The logic behind tasking a child with protecting his adult parent is completely backward.

The next important question is “why does anyone think a 6-year-old boy is better equipped to protect an adult woman than that adult woman is to protect herself?”.

The logic behind tasking a child with protecting his adult parent is completely backward. Anything beyond teaching them how to call 911, what sorts of people to look to for help, etc is backward.

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Shogun
Member since Jun 25th 2003
3042 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 11:00 AM

164. "you guys are taking the word "protect" WAAY too literally."
In response to Reply # 140

nobody is handing a kid a gun and telling them to shoot anybody who looks at mommy sideways.

It's more like "be a responsible, attentive, well behaved boy, and tend to any needs that your mother might have, while I'm away."

Good lord.

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
44831 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 11:23 AM

171. "I literally didn't say you were handing a gun to a kid. "
In response to Reply # 164
Tue Mar-28-17 11:29 AM by Cold Truth

>nobody is handing a kid a gun and telling them to shoot
>anybody who looks at mommy sideways.

Cool. Didn't say that. I’m not sure why you need such a ridiculous example of what I said was so outlandish on its own. Since you went with an example that doesn’t begin to approach where I’m coming from it’s a safe bet that you don’t have much of a point.

>It's more like "be a responsible, attentive, well behaved boy,
>and tend to any needs that your mother might have, while I'm
>away."

>Good lord.

Than say THAT, because that doesn't mean "protect".

That means “behave yourself and listen to your mom”.

Don’t get pissy about the response to the word “protect” and then offer an explanation that literally means something entirely different. You can’t say “you’re taking the word protect too literally, we’re just saying be a good boy and help out mom!” like that makes sense.

If that’s what he’s getting at, that’s what he should have said.
Good lord indeed.

The OP also spoke about this specifically in the context of gender roles. If the meaning was simply “behave yourself and attend to any needs your mother has”, then there’s absolutely no point to the gender role aspect of the post. The implication of “protect” is clearly NOT simply “behave yourself and tend to mom’s needs”. I sidestepped the gender role issue because the notion of any child, male or female, being told to protect their adult parent, male or female, is absurd.

You really don’t have a leg to stand on if you’re trying to argue that I’m taking the word “protect” outside the context of the OP. If the discussion was intended to be about telling kids to behave and attend to mom’s needs while dad’s out, that’s what he should have said. Not ”protect”.

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Shogun
Member since Jun 25th 2003
3042 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 12:12 PM

183. "I wasn't referring to you specifically, but your treatise was awesome."
In response to Reply # 171

will read again.

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
44831 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 12:18 PM

184. "you wrote "you guys" in direct response to my post"
In response to Reply # 183

That's but a hair short of the definition of "me specifically", but I was definitely included and responded to as the primary.

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Shogun
Member since Jun 25th 2003
3042 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 12:24 PM

186. "as in "some of the respondees in this big ass thread"."
In response to Reply # 184

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Shogun
Member since Jun 25th 2003
3042 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 12:25 PM

188. "and for the record, I agreed with a LOT of what you said."
In response to Reply # 184

But holy fuck, man.

This whole thing has turned into a shit show.

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
44831 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 12:44 PM

192. "I honestly don't see how the thread is so bad"
In response to Reply # 188

I think it goes to the heart of my response to you.

Protect + clearly assigned gender role + child= a variety of responses. You have what… two-three guys who went hard with absolutes?
The rest is mostly civil and reasonable discourse.

Take rob, for example. He’s sarcastic here and there but he also discusses this in a very nuanced way. He has a definite “side” but his stance is ultimately painted in shades of gray. IMO it’s the ideal for this sort of discussion.

Yes, Case is in here on some “mah boi will protect his maw if his paw is out huntin and gatherin” steeze. It’s 100% hardline with no nuance whatsoever. Conversely, PimpTrick is actually on his “side” despite having, like rob, a nuanced stance: yeah, it’s sexist, but so what? It doesn’t make you a bad guy.

Then you have 13 rose, bluebear, bonamie offering their own nuanced take on the subject.

Looking up and down this post there’s a lot of nuanced debate. I’d say it’s nowhere near a shit show but instead a healthy mix of good, bad & ugly.

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denny
Member since Apr 11th 2008
11281 posts

Wed Mar-29-17 11:00 PM

246. "It's just an extension of 'playing house'."
In response to Reply # 140

Kids undertake roles for pretend play all the time. And we give them pretend roles too. So the answers to your questions revolve around how playing pretend and role experimenting are valuable in child development.

I don't see it any different than someting like 'Hey Big guy...I need an assistant to shovel the driveway' even though I'd probably finish the driveway quicker by myself. But now he's an 'assistant'...and he might want to pretend how much money he's making and that we're work buddies instead of family.

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13Rose
Charter member
19379 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 09:18 AM

134. "This post is VERY interesting"
In response to Reply # 0
Tue Mar-28-17 09:20 AM by 13Rose

Thanks for making it. And by the way I'm all about questing everything. If you think something is important it should stand up to scrutiny. Hold it up to the light and see what is what. It's easy to challenge other people on stuff that doesn't mean much to us, but when the values we hold dear are challenged it's often a different story.

This post was paid for by the following.

www.twitter.com/13Rose
www.debunkthemyth.org
http://dashaunworld.wordpress.com/
www.mothergreen.com

Remember MJ The Great!
PSN: ThirteenRose

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infin8
Charter member
10401 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 09:44 AM

138. "Green "
In response to Reply # 0

- family first

- reciprocity

social norms be damned.

It's not socially normal to bring harm to another human being

It damn sure ain't socially normal to stand there and allow that other human being to be your mama.

so-called 'patriarchy' in this scenario is so far down the ladder it don't even matter.

IG: amadu_me

"...Whateva, man..." (c) Redman

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 09:57 AM

141. "If it's sexist for me to tell my son watch out for this Mother, Guard th..."
In response to Reply # 0

house, step up in to Dad's shoes on the home-front while I'm gone away for work, then call me a damn Sexist.
.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:06 AM

143. "^^^Sexist."
In response to Reply # 141

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
22151 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:17 AM

145. "I think there is some disconnect happening"
In response to Reply # 141

At least with what I'm reading from the post

this is not unlike the infamous street holler posts

I don't think the idea is that its sexist to want your kids to look out for family

I think the idea is the wording and how that may shape a persons view of the world . words shape perspective.

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

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PimpTrickGangstaClik
Member since Oct 06th 2005
15894 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:44 AM

150. "Would you tell a daughter that? No? Then yes, you're sexist...."
In response to Reply # 141

in this regard.

No shame in that. Embrace it.

_______________________________________

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:52 AM

156. "Tell my daughter what? How a man should treat her?"
In response to Reply # 150

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
22151 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:58 AM

161. "...you should apply to be a Fox news correspondent "
In response to Reply # 156

Excellent deflection!

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

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PimpTrickGangstaClik
Member since Oct 06th 2005
15894 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 11:00 AM

163. "Nothing in that post had anything to do w/ how a man should treat a woma..."
In response to Reply # 156
Tue Mar-28-17 11:00 AM by PimpTrickGangstaClik

Would you tell your daughter to be the protector? Look out for mom while you are away, guard the house, etc.
Or would you just tell a son that?

Sexism:
1
: prejudice or discrimination based on sex; especially : discrimination against women
2
: behavior, conditions, or attitudes that foster stereotypes of social roles based on sex

_______________________________________

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 11:22 AM

170. "Wait. Are you serious? "
In response to Reply # 163
Tue Mar-28-17 11:25 AM by Case_One

>Would you tell your daughter to be the protector? Look out
>for mom while you are away, guard the house, etc.
>Or would you just tell a son that?
>

Only if there were no men around and her mother was Old - like 80's or sickly. But as long as there's a man in my circle, I will make sure that there is someone there to assist with their needs and be a protecting force.

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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PimpTrickGangstaClik
Member since Oct 06th 2005
15894 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 11:36 AM

173. "Why are you fighting the label so hard? Lol"
In response to Reply # 170

Your beliefs fall under the umbrella of sexism. It's okay. You are not necessarily a bad person for it haha

_______________________________________

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 11:43 AM

175. "You asked a question. "
In response to Reply # 173

I already said in this situation you can call me Sexist.

You asked me a question.

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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PimpTrickGangstaClik
Member since Oct 06th 2005
15894 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 11:55 AM

179. "You didn't answer the question lol. You asked a defensive rebuttal quest..."
In response to Reply # 175

_______________________________________

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 12:23 PM

185. "Whatareyoutawn'bout? You asked ...I responded. "
In response to Reply # 179

You Asked:

Would you tell your daughter to be the protector? Look out for mom while you are away, guard the house, etc.
Or would you just tell a son that?

I Responded:

Only if there were no men around and her mother was Old - like 80's or sickly. But as long as there's a man in my circle, I will make sure that there is someone there to assist with their needs and be a protecting force.

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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PimpTrickGangstaClik
Member since Oct 06th 2005
15894 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 12:29 PM

189. "You edited. "
In response to Reply # 185

Pretty sure it was a rebuttal question to begin with. If not, my bad

_______________________________________

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 12:53 PM

193. "Dude I edited the subject line 3 hrs ago.. GTHOHWTM "
In response to Reply # 189

>Pretty sure it was a rebuttal question to begin with. If not,
>my bad

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
22151 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 11:50 AM

177. "you are missing the point. like, completely. "
In response to Reply # 170

first find the middle ground. you're not seeing the middle ground between you and everyone else.

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 12:24 PM

187. "What's your opinion of the middle ground? "
In response to Reply # 177

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
22151 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 12:30 PM

190. "I think you're running away with a close idea but not seeing..."
In response to Reply # 187

the big picture.

middle ground is I think we all agree that we should be looking out for each other.

the discussion is not "should my boys look out for mom", the discussion is "is saying "look out for mom" sexist?"

this has nothing to do with some made up feminist agenda but thinking about how we raise our boys and shaping their perception of women

this is also not a denial that there are people out there who want to do bad things to women

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 04:41 PM

215. "Ooooh. If you say so."
In response to Reply # 190

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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Creole
Charter member
15425 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:22 AM

147. "IMO, it's innocence lost! It ain't sexist but may be too much..."
In response to Reply # 0

for a young mind. That's a bunch of weight for a kid to carry around. Don't place it there before it's time. They're gonna feel it at some point anyway especially if they're in a single parent situation.

I know plenty dudes who felt they needed to take care of their mother because Dad wasn't around. And that weight is what led plenty of them down an unnecessary path.

Feeling like they had to be the man of the house and feed the family... A few of 'em ran to selling dope (or other illegal means) to feed/defend/protect said family. Now, they're ex-cons. Not to say this happens to every little boy but it does happen to far too many.

How many lil dudes took an L by defending their mother against an abusive husband/boyfriend/girlfriend? And it's Mom's job to protect the child anyway. That's my take.

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:37 AM

148. "The problem is your are viewing this with no context. "
In response to Reply # 147

Father's have been telling their sons this since forever and while it might reinforce patriarchy it does not lead to all these toddlers/little kids who broke under the pressure of the responsibility of protecting mom.

The other context that is missing is that the type of dads who instill this in their sons aren't usually the type of dads abusing the mother so that the son needs to step in a fight the dad.

I can see why a dude like Cold Truth would take this literally because he literally had to protect his mother as a child from abusive people for most people who were given this instruction it was not meant to be taken literally. It was about building a mindset for men to look out for the women in their lives. It's symbolic more than anything.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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Creole
Charter member
15425 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:54 AM

157. "I think my post provided context..."
In response to Reply # 148
Tue Mar-28-17 11:01 AM by Creole

>Father's have been telling their sons this since forever and
>while it might reinforce patriarchy it does not lead to all
>these toddlers/little kids who broke under the pressure of the
>responsibility of protecting mom.
I don't believe this sort of responsibility should be placed on a kid. Period! However, I respect everyone's right to raise their child in the manner they deem best. IMO, kids need to be worried about playing and school and all the other stuff kids do. Telling them or asking them to protect their mom is a tough one. Mom should be protecting the child if Dad ain't around - away on business or just gone.

>The other context that is missing is that the type of dads who
>instill this in their sons aren't usually the type of dads
>abusing the mother so that the son needs to step in a fight
>the dad.
Whether the son is stepping in to fight Dad or not, telling him at an early age that he should protect his mother is a bit much for a child to handle. Once the ball is handed off to a little boy, he's gonna take it and run with it.

>I can see why a dude like Cold Truth would take this literally
>because he literally had to protect his mother as a child from
>abusive people for most people who were given this instruction
>it was not meant to be taken literally. It was about building
>a mindset for men to look out for the women in their lives.
>It's symbolic more than anything.
>
Kids don't get symbolism though, BG. They take everything literally. So, a little boy grown into a teen who carries the mentality of protecting his mother because the seed was planted long before then.

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:59 AM

162. "The context you keep missing is ALL these ppl saying that they"
In response to Reply # 157

heard this sort of direction from their parents and they are fine and have healthy relationships with women and their kids.

So you can't say a kid can't handle it because that flies in the face of our experience.

>>Father's have been telling their sons this since forever
>and
>>while it might reinforce patriarchy it does not lead to all
>>these toddlers/little kids who broke under the pressure of
>the
>>responsibility of protecting mom.
>I don't believe this sort of responsibility should be placed
>on a kid. Period! However, I respect everyone's right to raise
>their child in the manner they deem best. IMO, kids need to be
>worried about playing and school and all the other stuff kids
>do. Telling them or asking them to protect their mom is a
>tough one. Mom should be protecting the child if Dad ain't
>around - away on business or just gone.
>
>
>>The other context that is missing is that the type of dads
>who
>>instill this in their sons aren't usually the type of dads
>>abusing the mother so that the son needs to step in a fight
>>the dad.
>Whether the son is stepping in to fight Dad or not, telling
>him at an early age that he should protect his mother is a bit
>much for a child to handle. Once the ball is handed off to a
>little boy, he's gonna take it and run with it.
>
>>I can see why a dude like Cold Truth would take this
>literally
>>because he literally had to protect his mother as a child
>from
>>abusive people for most people who were given this
>instruction
>>it was not meant to be taken literally. It was about
>building
>>a mindset for men to look out for the women in their lives.
>>It's symbolic more than anything.
>>
>Kids don't get symbolism though, BG. They take everything
>literally. So, a little boy grown into a teen who carried the
>mentality of protecting his mother because the seed was
>planted long before then.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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Creole
Charter member
15425 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 11:09 AM

165. "I'm not missing that. Parents can do what they choose to..."
In response to Reply # 162

>However, I respect everyone's right to raise their child in the manner they deem best. IMO, kids need to be worried about playing and school and all the other stuff kids do.

raise their kid(s) how the deem best.

It is my thought that a child need not be concerned with having to protect someone because that's a heavy responsibility.

And I'm glad it worked out for those here. I just know a few guys who it didn't work out as nicely for.

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bonamie
Charter member
60263 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 11:13 AM

167. "yup."
In response to Reply # 165

>It is my thought that a child need not be concerned with
>having to protect someone because that's a heavy
>responsibility.
>
>And I'm glad it worked out for those here. I just know a few
>guys who it didn't work out as nicely for.

and it can look like it "worked out nicely" for someone on the outside and their inner life is a WRECK and definitely burdened
but do what you want with your kids
a question was asked and answered though.

-----------------------------------
we aint the two and i aint the one- lyte

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 11:41 AM

174. "Interested to hear it didn't work out for. Sincerely. "
In response to Reply # 165

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 01:18 PM

200. "well, if people say they have perfectly healthy relationships"
In response to Reply # 162

then I guess everything is ok.

there must be nothing wrong anywhere then.

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
44831 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 01:07 PM

196. "Motherfucker. I literally said "if you mean call 911, get help"
In response to Reply # 148
Tue Mar-28-17 01:08 PM by Cold Truth

then yeah I'm on board".

I said that shit.

Literal? I literally posted up what you might have meant and expressed agreement with that sentiment in that context.

>see why a dude like Cold Truth would take this literally

Why do you insist on this false narrative?

1. I asked for clarification
2. I presented the possibility of what you actually meant, which you agreed with.

I didn't "take it literally".

I asked for clarification of what you meant, took note of your probable meaning, and then expanded the discussion with the reality of what it CAN mean if the sole instruction is simply "protect", or, in my case, no instruction at all... which is the whole point of clarifying what you meant.

Not sure why you insist on saying I took it literally when my post literally did anything but.

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 01:30 PM

203. "Your Question/Clarification was did I mean it literally?"
In response to Reply # 196

Which to most people here and was discussed numerous times before your post, of course not.

I personally think it's silly that anyone would think or even consider it enough to even have to ask the question of whether I was advocating six-year-olds try to physically fight adult predators.

But I will acknowledge that some people come from much rougher backgrounds than my own so I could see why they have to consider whether I mean my question....literally.

I don't get the confusion at all.

>then yeah I'm on board".
>
>I said that shit.
>
>Literal? I literally posted up what you might have meant and
>expressed agreement with that sentiment in that context.
>
>>see why a dude like Cold Truth would take this literally
>
>Why do you insist on this false narrative?
>
>1. I asked for clarification
>2. I presented the possibility of what you actually meant,
>which you agreed with.
>
>I didn't "take it literally".
>
>I asked for clarification of what you meant, took note of your
>probable meaning, and then expanded the discussion with the
>reality of what it CAN mean if the sole instruction is simply
>"protect", or, in my case, no instruction at all... which is
>the whole point of clarifying what you meant.
>
>Not sure why you insist on saying I took it literally when my
>post literally did anything but.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
44831 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 01:54 PM

204. "Nope. "What do you mean by “look out for and protect mommy"
In response to Reply # 203

That was the question.

I didn't ask you if you meant it literally. I asked what you meant by your words.

See how you needed to change the wording to fit your premise? The only confusion here is your insistence on inflating my words to justify your snarky ass reaction.

>Which to most people here and was discussed numerous times
>before your post, of course not.

Cool. I asked for clarification of your words. In fact, when I interjected my interpretation of what you meant, you fucking agreed with it.

Thus... no, I didn't ask you if you meant I literally. I literally asked for clarification and presented an interpretation that you fucking agreed with.

Yet for some reason you still feel pressed to present it in a different way.

>I personally think it's silly that anyone would think or even
>consider it enough to even have to ask the question of whether
>I was advocating six-year-olds try to physically fight adult
>predators.

Cool story, bro. I asked what you meant by "protect mommy" and then followed up by asking what that entailed. I dispersed with the gender angle and then expanded on how absurd it is to expect a child to "protect" an adult.

I didn't ask if you wanted your six year old son to fight an adult.... I simply asked what you meant by "protect". I literally did the opposite of what you're saying.

>But I will acknowledge that some people come from much rougher
>backgrounds than my own so I could see why they have to
>consider whether I mean my question....literally.

Asking "what do you mean by protect mommy" and "do you mean they should fight grown men?" are two different things.

I LITERALLY asked the former, but for some reason you insist that I asked the latter. Talk about confused.

>I don't get the confusion at all.

What confusion? I asked to clarify what you meant by "protect mommy" and absolutely did not imply that you meant it literally. You're the one who is confused. I asked for clarification of your own words and yet here you are insisting I took them at face value and ran with it.

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denny
Member since Apr 11th 2008
11281 posts

Tue Apr-04-17 05:14 AM

293. "Holy christ."
In response to Reply # 204
Tue Apr-04-17 05:17 AM by denny

Are you aware of the meta-posting hostility and rage that consumes you?

You make a post. Then someone responds. Then you furiously deconstruct the exchange ('then I said THIS and then you said THAT and then you misinterpreted THIS because I was really saying THAT etc etc etc) in a rage of hostility that reduces you to calling people 'motherfuckers' on the internet. EVERY single disagreement you have with other posters becomes a deconstructed meta-post. It's a chronic behavior.

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
44831 posts

Tue Apr-04-17 07:31 AM

294. "Of course someone who chronically*re* constructs words would take issue"
In response to Reply # 293
Tue Apr-04-17 07:47 AM by Cold Truth

With someone who deconstructs their consistently misleading reconstructions.

>Are you aware of the meta-posting hostility and rage that
>consumes you?

No, I'm not super duper nice to people who routinely need to construct strawmen from my words in order to to feel like they have a valid point.

If someone has a valid point or critique of my post they wouldn't need to add or subtract information and context to make their point.

>You make a post. Then someone responds. Then you furiously
>deconstruct the exchange ('then I said THIS and then you said
>THAT and then you misinterpreted THIS because I was really
>saying THAT etc etc etc) in a rage of hostility that reduces
>you to calling people 'motherfuckers' on the internet.

Notice how you don't actually address whether or not that deconstruction is valid? In fact, that's one of the most common complaints I get and rarely do people like you actually address the validity of that deconstruction.

See, you're a guy who has preconceptions and rearranges people's words and eliminates context in order to fit those preconceptions. You prefer to interpret and dig for subtext and respond based on those deductions.

Naturally you take issue with being corrected. Talk about chronic habits, you can never have a conversation without that interpretive filter.

But again... It says something that you take the time to write out this generic criticism but never take the time to assess whether or not that deconstruction is valid.

EVERY
>single disagreement you have with other posters becomes a
>deconstructed meta-post. It's a chronic behavior.

How the can you sit here with a straight face and cry about me deconstructing posts when you chronically *re*constructions?

Pssst... When those disagreements are in part based on misconstrued and misrepresented words, it will be corrected. It says so much about you that you have such a problem with that.

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:45 AM

151. "The irony is on FB, I got an academic feminist talking down to..."
In response to Reply # 0

the mothers in my FB feed who are defending it, telling them that they are wrong and it is sexist.

That's why I don't come down on Feminism for issues like this because many of the more strident feminist don't speak for most women.

I avoided putting this on facebook at first because I didn't want my NYC progressive academic type folks to get into open warfare with my Southern more traditional lifestyle folks.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 01:17 PM

199. "or.....women are also affected by living in our culture"
In response to Reply # 151

the same way men are.

but nah, it could never be that or just that you're friends with equally dumb people who don't think their actions through.

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Lil Rabies
Member since Oct 12th 2005
1586 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:47 AM

152. "Fuck you to anyone who thinks its patriarchy"
In response to Reply # 0

Heres the deal: How many of you non-black men with families have to deal with the PE bullseye on your back from a racist ass country trying to kill you slowly or quickly while trying to raise your family? Biggie never lied. The struggle is every single day. WITH FULL KNOWLWEDGE that dealing with this shit takes the men of your family out early while they are trying to make a better life for their sons/ daughters who will probably have kids they will never see get married because they will be most certainly dead and gone by then. Fuck it, I love her, she can move on to some less than worthy but patient and responsible nigger after I ghost, but my little man/ men....I know what you are going to be up against and this shit has cost me to the point where I will likely be not able to see you through the whole way. I AM TELLING YOU NOW and as often as I can because I love you and your brothers/ sisters and your mom that am going to need your help in breaking this cycle and I may need you one day when you are most certainly not fully prepared to do what you must out of love: be an even stronger black man than me.

Taking shots in the dark/that's a bad call
Going straight for your head/ gotta saw it off

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:50 AM

153. "the words and the profile pic combo though got my head spinning. . "
In response to Reply # 152

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
22151 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 11:51 AM

178. "^^^^missing the point^^^^"
In response to Reply # 152

bruh.

the argument is not about to protect or not.

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 12:54 PM

194. "^^^^ really the one missing the point^^^^"
In response to Reply # 178

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
22151 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 01:55 PM

205. "fuckin' respond to #190 for fucks sake. "
In response to Reply # 194

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

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Lil Rabies
Member since Oct 12th 2005
1586 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 03:24 PM

211. "If the point is when to ask to protect ot whether protection is needed"
In response to Reply # 178

I am not doing my daughter a disservice by having different expectations about her role in protecting our family but trying to provide a service to our sons about their expectations. It is never to early to train because that provides teaching opportunities. Embracing the pain of the black American experience is only acceptable in that, for all the damage it has caused, it can breed a resolve that is truly world class. The black man is always a contender.

Taking shots in the dark/that's a bad call
Going straight for your head/ gotta saw it off

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:54 AM

159. "I guess the Face punch post was too heavy handed. GONE!"
In response to Reply # 0

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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Atillah Moor
Member since Sep 05th 2013
13825 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 11:14 AM

168. "just a smidge "
In response to Reply # 159

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Creole
Charter member
15425 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 11:16 AM

169. "In de face!"
In response to Reply # 159

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Cocobrotha2
Charter member
10884 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 11:26 AM

172. "Sexist statement but not necessarily a sexist for saying it"
In response to Reply # 0

I think this is less about sexism and more about how labels get thrown around.

I think that's a sexist statement but I'm not going to think whoever says it necessarily is in the habit of prejudging based on gender. It may not be that deep to them... or it may be. Either way, I'd withhold judgment until I heard more of their views.

<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->
<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->

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SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 12:03 PM

180. "^ agreed."
In response to Reply # 172

the statement is sexist as is the sentiment behind it but not necessarily the person.

maybe some of the pushback in here comes from folks thinking we're calling them sexists or misogynists or anti-women or whatever.

not necessarily the case.

fuck you.

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Shogun
Member since Jun 25th 2003
3042 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 12:32 PM

191. "makes sense."
In response to Reply # 180

___________

Back again for the first time.

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 01:00 PM

195. "I would go so far as to say we are all guilty of sexism. "
In response to Reply # 180

And can be sexist.

It's better to recognize it (even if it is benign or has positive results).

Here is something super common sense someone said in my facebook feed that is worth repeating:

"Here is something horrible since all the normal answers have been given. You shouldn't care if it is or not sexist because the rightness of the instruction overwhelms other ancillary lesser moral issues. Disregarding feminism because it is politically charged, let's take a stronger near universal admonition - thou shalt not kill - but if in 15 years your wife was threatened in that way and the boys defied that rule to protect their mother, it would still be right to me. Some things, like take care of your mother, overcome almost all other moral decisions and considerations. It is hard to think of something that is more universally better to tell your boys in all political and moral environments. If they only get 10 things right in this life and one of them is take care of your mother, they can't be too far from the men you want them to be."

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 01:24 PM

201. "uh huh. "
In response to Reply # 195

still - i'm not down w/telling a 6 yr old boy to 'take care' of his mother. i'd be more concerned w/telling him to 'OBEY' his mother and 'LISTEN TO' his mother and more along that line that to tell him to 'take care' of her. maybe i'd get more specific - i'd hopefully have already started teaching him to 'HELP' his mother - like when she's carrying groceries in the house or when she's doing some household chore. but he'd be taught to 'HELP' everyone in the house and his friends and family members.

i would NOT want to teach him that he needs to 'take care' of his mother b/c she's weak or b/c she needs his 'care' b/c he's a boy. i wouldn't want to teach him that women generally need his 'care' b/c they're women and he's a boy. i'm not comfortable w/that traditional stuff like that. and yes, i grew up in a house w/a strong old-school Black man father figure and a strong old-school Black woman mother-figure. they both did chores around the house - including cooking, cleaning, repairs, construction, et al. and i was tasked w/helping them both. i was taught to help them both when they were performing a task - carry stuff w/them or for them. or at least offer to do so. open doors when i see them coming. all of that kind of stuff. but it wasn't about me doing more for HER b/c she's a woman and i was a boy. and that's the part of this 'take care of your mother' stuff that makes me bristle. the boy would be taught to 'care' for his family b/c they're family not b/c of their gender.

fuck you.

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 02:08 PM

206. "I hear you but I think there is a role dudes have to protect women. "
In response to Reply # 201

And of course they can't do it six years old, but it's a mind set that is worth cultivating at a young age in my humble opinion.

I was surprised when one of my more strident feminist friends on facebook (someone who said Nate Parker should go to jail even if he didn't do it to make an example out of sexual predators) said the following on the topic:

" Grown women can take of themselves, but truth be told we are safer when men are also looking out for our well-being. It's not that we are incompetent, it's that we are disproportionately targeted. Personally, I think it's important to reinforce to young men that they have an duty to be mindful of the safety of the women around them and carry themselves in such a way that other men are on notice that they will intervene if they sense a threat."

Which highlights a point that isn't made to much in this post is that women are disproportionately targeted for physical assault in the streets and merely being in the company of males decreases that threat. And it's something that men should be aware of and ready for.

I get the sex neutral "everyone should look out for everyone else in the family" BUT I think there is an added responsibility for men when they reached maturity to physically look out for the well-being of women in their company.

I just think that's a practical reality.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 02:35 PM

208. "ok."
In response to Reply # 206
Tue Mar-28-17 02:41 PM by SoWhat

i'm definitely not about to tell a 6 yr boy to 'take care of his mother' b/c she's more likely to be battered out in the streets b/c it's hard out there for women. that's a bit much.

i wouldn't tell him specifically to 'take care' of his mother - i'd definitely want to teach him that he's got some responsibility to help out and care for his loved ones - his family and his friends. the stuff about the heightened danger women face can come much later. no need to put that on a 6 yr old.

of course - my 6 yr old wouldn't have a 'mom' in the house so this is a moot issue for me. LOL. but anyway, i wouldn't teach him that he has any higher duty to 'take care' of women in his life. again - he'd get the lessons about the heightened danger women face and the need to watch how he and his peers treat women so as to avoid falling into casual misogyny and anti-women behavior in some other fashion and possibly at some other time. but i can't see putting that on him at 6 yrs old.

fuck you.

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Shogun
Member since Jun 25th 2003
3042 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 01:26 PM

202. "nicely done."
In response to Reply # 195

___________

Back again for the first time.

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soulpsychodelicyde
Member since Nov 18th 2003
12147 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 04:24 PM

213. "This is such horseshit."
In response to Reply # 195

>Disregarding feminism because it is politically charged<

That nothing else is worth reading. FOH.

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 08:23 PM

221. "You think that's not a factually correct statement?"
In response to Reply # 213

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 09:58 PM

224. "LOL"
In response to Reply # 221

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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soulpsychodelicyde
Member since Nov 18th 2003
12147 posts

Wed Mar-29-17 11:11 AM

234. "I mean... "
In response to Reply # 221

... what does feminism have to do with this question? That's sort of the central problem -- as soon as someone... (anyone, but most certainly a woman) flags that something is sexist, someone (usually a man) drags "feminism" out of the war chest. I'm automatically a feminist because I'm pointing out sexism? And since when is being a feminist a pejorative?

I can't take you seriously when that's in your playbook. Sorry.

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Wed Mar-29-17 02:43 PM

238. "I think you made his point and missed it at the same time. "
In response to Reply # 234

As you pointed out in your very response, all sorts of knives come out once the question is framed within a feminist context.

Therefore he cited another example to take that politically explosive feminist angle out of the discussion ("Hence the though should not kill example").

Nowhere in his statement did he make any sort of value judgement about feminism.

As you pointed out, Because I asked whether the practice was sexist, people drag "feminism" out of the war chest.

He gave a different example as a rhetorical device to make it more difficult to do that.

Again, he passed no judgment on feminism. He just used a different rhetorical strategy to avoid the issue you acknowledged.

Maybe you should have bothered to read the entire statement before the snap judgement.

>... what does feminism have to do with this question? That's
>sort of the central problem -- as soon as someone... (anyone,
>but most certainly a woman) flags that something is sexist,
>someone (usually a man) drags "feminism" out of the war chest.
>I'm automatically a feminist because I'm pointing out sexism?
>And since when is being a feminist a pejorative?
>
>I can't take you seriously when that's in your playbook.
>Sorry.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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soulpsychodelicyde
Member since Nov 18th 2003
12147 posts

Wed Mar-29-17 03:16 PM

241. "I read it. "
In response to Reply # 238

And you can get the ENTIRE FOH with the mansplaining-ass condescension.

So let me say it in terms that are clearer to you:

1. Mentioning feminism, as a part of this discussion, is old and trite. What is this "feminist context" you speak of? Why the assumption(s)? His very premise was that the discussion was being had through the lens of feminism in the most pejorative of contexts. The minute anyone (particularly women) says sexism, the counter is feminism. That very idea is where I have to check out of the building. It *is* the sum total of the sexism war chest and I immediately disengage when I see it because that person is a dolt and I no longer have capacity for it.

So FOH.

2. I do not believe that the need for boys/men to protect women and the encouragement therein, particularly for young boys (6 yo?), supersedes the sexism.

So. FOH.

3. THAT SAID... I get it. It's what we were taught, it's how our parents taught us to be good parents, and is completely normalized. My dad said the same to my little brother (nevermind I'm 10 years older) when I picked him up school. I totally get it. But while it may be (relatively) harmless and deemed good parenting on the micro level, the macro level implications are what are most problematic. It reinforces the idea that women are the weaker sex and in need of protection. If you or whatever dolt is screaming FEMINISM, feels like the importance of it supersedes the sexism, then by all means. Most wouldn't fault you. But to suggest anything other than that the notion that men, even young boys, have to protect women isn't rooted in sexist ideology is simply being wholly disingenuous or completely obtuse.

So.. again I say... FOH.

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Thu Mar-30-17 04:42 PM

259. "So you didn't stop after, "Disregarding feminism...""
In response to Reply # 241

That's great and of course people can disagree on the substance of his position.

This all began because I am questioning your statement of disagreeing with the statement that feminism is politically charged.

I am trying to figure out how you think that is "horseshit" when you immediately thereafter describe how defensive men become when they think feminism is involved.

So again, trying to understand why you don't think feminism isn't politically charged?

> But to suggest anything other than
>that the notion that men, even young boys, have to protect
>women isn't rooted in sexist ideology is simply being wholly
>disingenuous or completely obtuse.

>So.. again I say... FOH.

I think another woman who chimed in on this in my facebook discussion of the same topic had good reasoning for this that isn't wholly rooted in sexist ideology stating the following:

"Grown women can take of themselves, but truth be told we are safer when men are also looking out for our well-being. It's not that we are incompetent, it's that we are disproportionately targeted. Personally, I think it's important to reinforce to young men that they have a duty to be mindful of the safety of the women around them and carry themselves in such a way that other men are on notice that they will intervene if they sense a threat."

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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soulpsychodelicyde
Member since Nov 18th 2003
12147 posts

Thu Mar-30-17 07:35 PM

262. "Christ."
In response to Reply # 259

What does feminism have to do with this discussion?

The central question is if having men (young boys, specifically) look out for their mothers/other women, is sexist.

What does feminism have to do with that question?

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 03:41 PM

356. "Are you asking what does calling out Sexism have to do with"
In response to Reply # 262

Feminism?

Really?

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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Atillah Moor
Member since Sep 05th 2013
13825 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 12:12 PM

182. "I mean when the kid grows up looking out for their mom is imprtant"
In response to Reply # 0

so why not get it in their heads early? Also hate to break it to folks but most women are not as physically strong as men and there was and is still a need to "at times" protect women from physical harm.

The nature of the phrase and it's origin are less rooted in sexism and more in the harsh realities of human existence

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lightworks
Member since Feb 17th 2006
5818 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 02:16 PM

207. "What if your wife started telling them that about you, too?"
In response to Reply # 0

Is that ok with you?

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 03:14 PM

210. "Wouldn't bother me. Not sure the point now but wouldn't bother me"
In response to Reply # 207

But as I get older I would see the need.

It's what my mother tells me now.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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The Wordsmith
Member since Aug 13th 2002
17070 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 02:51 PM

209. "Doubt I'll ever think that hard over something that petty."
In response to Reply # 0

When my son's old enough, I'll tell him to look out for his moms and his sisters. I wish I would sit here and worry about whether something so petty is offensive.

Since 1976

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 04:43 PM

216. "The most logic in this post. Made me look for the High Five! "
In response to Reply # 209

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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SeV
Charter member
50208 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 04:44 PM

217. "This is a post I would make"
In response to Reply # 0
Tue Mar-28-17 04:45 PM by SeV

If I were making fun of post on OKP
____________

Dallas Cavericks LETS GO!!

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 05:07 PM

218. "Right. I told my girl about this post, "
In response to Reply # 217

She got mad that he question was even asked. She said YES a man is suppose to teach his son how to take care of and protect the house.
.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
22151 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 07:46 PM

220. "rev. jesus christ are you missing the big picture. "
In response to Reply # 218

no one here is saying what you're thinking people are saying.

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 09:28 PM

222. "Do you need some attention? "
In response to Reply # 220

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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The Wordsmith
Member since Aug 13th 2002
17070 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 05:26 PM

219. "Lol"
In response to Reply # 217

Since 1976

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:00 PM

225. "so I guess rapes, domestic violence and everything else"
In response to Reply # 0

only started happening like...15 years ago.

because apparently whether or not you tell some random kid "look out for your mother" will then apply protection to all women everywhere.

it's been working great so far, which would explain why there's no reason to rethink *anything*

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:22 PM

227. "You wait 220+ post to drop this gem of poor logic?"
In response to Reply # 225

I'll let someone else explain why your conclusion doesn't follow.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 11:13 PM

228. "according to you, this is the solution"
In response to Reply # 227

there's no reason to believe it at all. but that's your thing, saying dumb shit.

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Wed Mar-29-17 10:34 AM

230. "LOL.. He can't help it."
In response to Reply # 227

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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denny
Member since Apr 11th 2008
11281 posts

Wed Mar-29-17 06:58 PM

245. "He has no clue how transparent he is to everyone."
In response to Reply # 227

He is the embodiment of virtue-signalling.

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Thu Mar-30-17 02:56 PM

253. "don't you have some totally not-racist philosophers to defend?"
In response to Reply # 245

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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denny
Member since Apr 11th 2008
11281 posts

Sun Apr-02-17 02:23 AM

267. "No I'm here to point out your virtue-signalling"
In response to Reply # 253

In this case....the contention that one's position on the act of playing house with a child is inextricably tied to their condoning of rape and assault.

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Mon Apr-03-17 04:39 AM

276. "if you meant, expose the fact that you can't read."
In response to Reply # 267

then you have achieved that.

what you said isn't any realistic interpretation of what I posted.

but you're a fucking idiot, so, it's understandable.

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Mon Apr-03-17 04:41 AM

278. "the best part of the dumbass denny rebranding"
In response to Reply # 267

is that he thinks I don't remember when he was trying to pretend like he was a friend of mine.

I saw all those replies denny, I just didn't interact with you because I saw through you even then.

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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denny
Member since Apr 11th 2008
11281 posts

Mon Apr-03-17 06:15 AM

283. "We need a song."
In response to Reply # 278

Like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2y7woasr_s

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flipnile
Member since Nov 05th 2003
13565 posts

Thu Mar-30-17 04:06 PM

258. ""Virtue Signalling" has been added to the vocabulary. Good phrase, man."
In response to Reply # 245

Virtue signalling
- the action or practice of publicly expressing opinions or sentiments intended to demonstrate one's good character or the moral correctness of one's position on a particular issue.

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Thu Mar-30-17 05:10 PM

261. "how had you not heard of that"
In response to Reply # 258

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Tue Apr-04-17 10:48 PM

301. "use virtue signaling in a sentence like this hero"
In response to Reply # 258

https://twitter.com/StefanMolyneux/status/848593107159576578

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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flipnile
Member since Nov 05th 2003
13565 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 04:02 PM

360. "Ok. "Wearing a safety pin on one's lapel is virtue signalling""
In response to Reply # 301

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/why-people-are-wearing-safety-pins-trumps-win-946516

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 05:48 PM

366. "yeah, you had heard of it."
In response to Reply # 360

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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rdhull
Charter member
33127 posts

Tue Mar-28-17 10:06 PM

226. "yall armed your tykes and taught them to kill!!!"
In response to Reply # 0

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JustMe
Charter member
1767 posts

Wed Mar-29-17 09:25 AM

229. "RE: Is it sexist to tell your son, "Look out for your Mama""
In response to Reply # 0
Wed Mar-29-17 09:32 AM by JustMe

My mother-in-law and mother take turns looking after my daughter while my wife and I are at work. Every morning before I leave to work I tell my daughter, who is 2.5 years old, "make sure you take care of grandma.” She loves it. If I had boy, I'd tell him the same thing.

However if you are singling out your boys, assuming you have daughters, and telling them to protect their moms I agree it could be sending mixed messages.

"The shit baby, los gran mojones"

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Wed Mar-29-17 10:35 AM

231. "What's the mixed message?"
In response to Reply # 229

>My mother-in-law and mother take turns looking after my
>daughter while my wife and I are at work. Every morning
>before I leave to work I tell my daughter, who is 2.5 years
>old, "make sure you take care of grandma.” She loves it.
>If I had boy, I'd tell him the same thing.
>
>However if you are singling out your boys, assuming you have
>daughters, and telling them to protect their moms I agree it
>could be sending mixed messages.
>

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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JustMe
Charter member
1767 posts

Wed Mar-29-17 11:11 AM

233. "RE: What's the mixed message?"
In response to Reply # 231

Well, let’s say for example that this young boy has an elder sister—a six year old son and nine year old daughter for example—and you’re asking the six year old to look after or protect his mother but not asking the same of his elder and presumably more experienced sister. The young girl might interpret this to mean that her younger brother is inherently more capable or has a bigger responsibility to his family and community than she does simply because he is male. And to clarify, I don't see anything wrong with asking this fictional young boy to look after his mother, I just find it odd that one would ask their son to do this but not their daughter. Strength in numbers...that would be my message. But hey I'm sure I send all types of fucked up messages (not that this is one) all the time. We're not perfect, but its worth exploring.

"The shit baby, los gran mojones"

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sweet ruffian
Member since Jul 11th 2003
8129 posts

Wed Mar-29-17 03:09 PM

239. "*good point*"
In response to Reply # 233

>Well, let’s say for example that this young boy has an
>elder sister—a six year old son and nine year old daughter
>for example—and you’re asking the six year old to look
>after or protect his mother but not asking the same of his
>elder and presumably more experienced sister. The young girl
>might interpret this to mean that her younger brother is
>inherently more capable or has a bigger responsibility to his
>family and community than she does simply because he is male.
>And to clarify, I don't see anything wrong with asking this
>fictional young boy to look after his mother, I just find it
>odd that one would ask their son to do this but not their
>daughter. Strength in numbers...that would be my message.
>But hey I'm sure I send all types of fucked up messages (not
>that this is one) all the time. We're not perfect, but its
>worth exploring.

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Wed Mar-29-17 03:12 PM

240. "If I had an older daughter I think I would be careful of that sort of..."
In response to Reply # 233
Wed Mar-29-17 03:41 PM by Buddy_Gilapagos

talk around her because I wouldn't want her to think that she should be depending on a dude to protect her.

>Well, let’s say for example that this young boy has an
>elder sister—a six year old son and nine year old daughter
>for example—and you’re asking the six year old to look
>after or protect his mother but not asking the same of his
>elder and presumably more experienced sister. The young girl
>might interpret this to mean that her younger brother is
>inherently more capable or has a bigger responsibility to his
>family and community than she does simply because he is male.
>And to clarify, I don't see anything wrong with asking this
>fictional young boy to look after his mother, I just find it
>odd that one would ask their son to do this but not their
>daughter. Strength in numbers...that would be my message.
>But hey I'm sure I send all types of fucked up messages (not
>that this is one) all the time. We're not perfect, but its
>worth exploring.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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JustMe
Charter member
1767 posts

Wed Mar-29-17 03:35 PM

242. "RE: If I had an older daughter I think I would be careful of that sort o..."
In response to Reply # 240

> talk around her because I wouldn't want her to think that
>she should be depend on a dude to protect her.

Exactly. ^That too!

"The shit baby, los gran mojones"

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Thu Mar-30-17 02:47 PM

250. "OMG.. I Swear. It's ya'll's world. "
In response to Reply # 233

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Lil Rabies
Member since Oct 12th 2005
1586 posts

Sat Apr-01-17 11:32 PM

264. "a big sis is big sis"
In response to Reply # 233

A protector can have a protector also

Taking shots in the dark/that's a bad call
Going straight for your head/ gotta saw it off

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ThaTruth
Charter member
99998 posts

Wed Mar-29-17 10:37 AM

232. "***goes back to OkaySports***"
In response to Reply # 0

________________________________________
"Take the surprise out your voice Shaq."-The REAL CP3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2H5K-BUMS0

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flipnile
Member since Nov 05th 2003
13565 posts

Wed Mar-29-17 12:16 PM

236. "^^^ retreating to his sexist man-cave"
In response to Reply # 232

lol, just jokes, man.

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denny
Member since Apr 11th 2008
11281 posts

Wed Mar-29-17 06:26 PM

244. "Don't think anyone's said it depends on the kid."
In response to Reply # 0
Wed Mar-29-17 06:38 PM by denny

I've done this and similar things with my 10 year old. His face beams when I do it. I wouldn't do it with his younger brother because his face wouldn't beam. I can just sense that difference in them. The 10 year old is extremely sensitive and LOVES to take care of people and responsibility. He LOVES cooking for other people for example...nothing makes him prouder than serving up the eggs he fried for me and his mom. He's also really loving with animals and stuff like that. He's just like that and a quick 'take care of your mom and your brother' while I'm leaving makes him happy as hell. It's definitely a self-affirming thing for him.

At the same time....the suggestion that this may be an added burden or 'not letting him be a kid' is applicable, imo, to his younger brother. I just know his nature is different and saying a little thing like this to him wouldn't have the same effect. For him, it probably would feel like a burden. I think if I insisted doing it with him anyways for the sake of 'training' I'd be making a mistake.

So to sum up....if you can observe a positive reaction from the child in doing it than it's a good thing to do. If you observe that it creates an ambiguous or even negative reaction from the child....don't force it. Not all males identify with being the protector and forcing that role on them will never work if it's not in their individual nature. But some males DO identify that way and we'd be just as wrong to repress that in them in the name of 'fighting sexism'.

Worth noting there's a twist of sorts with my 10 year old too. He's not macho or masculine. He's somewhat effiminate...so the way he 'takes care' of people is more like a matriarchal type of protection. So the happiness he expresses when I say stuff like this isn't based on a 'real man' type of vibe (though it wouldn't matter to me if it was). Again...I think this all comes down to knowing your child and re-enforcing the self-image that they reveal to us.

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Thu Mar-30-17 11:30 AM

249. "I've been thinking about the feminine version of this. "
In response to Reply # 244

I get the everyone should take of everyone in the family version of this and that is of course uncontroversial.

But my point was about the added sense of duty for a guy to learn to protect the women in his company.

Many folks have mentioned a female version and I would never in a million years try and tell my daughter how to "take care" of men in a maternal or feminine way. Haven't figured out how I would feel about it if a wife told a daughter how to take care of the men in the family (e.g., cooking). Part of me would leave it alone its a mother/daughter thing (like the guy protection is a father/son thing). The other part of me is like I don't want my daughter being raised as that sort of woman. Not a real issue for me because I don't have that sort of wife (still waiting for her to fix me a plate).

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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denny
Member since Apr 11th 2008
11281 posts

Sun Apr-02-17 01:03 AM

266. "RE: I've been thinking about the feminine version of this. "
In response to Reply # 249
Sun Apr-02-17 01:04 AM by denny

If I had a daughter with whom I could sense got the same sort of self-affirmation from this extension of 'playing house'....for sure I'd do it with her. For example...my sister. Total tomboy....now married and for lack of a better term, butch-dyke. I can remember how she was as a kid. She would've loved that sort of thing in a 'protective' kind of way. Different than my step-son...but again...the criteria should be 'do they respond positively to it?' regardless of what masculine/feminine gender roles it lights up for them.

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Heinz
Member since Dec 26th 2003
20759 posts

Thu Mar-30-17 01:05 AM

248. "Not at all. Not in the slightest. Don't listen to anyone who thinks othe..."
In response to Reply # 0

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Thu Mar-30-17 02:49 PM

251. "I swear, Some folks will overthink a Grilled Cheese Samich"
In response to Reply # 0

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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Creole
Charter member
15425 posts

Thu Mar-30-17 02:52 PM

252. "Bruh, I don't believe this is still on the grill..."
In response to Reply # 251

All the gruyere done ran out the sides and burnt up.

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Mon Apr-03-17 05:19 AM

280. "Right... "
In response to Reply # 252

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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rdhull
Charter member
33127 posts

Thu Mar-30-17 03:04 PM

254. "^^made recent threads about ironing clothes and eye contact"
In response to Reply # 251

but I feel ya lol

>.
>.
>
>Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray!
>Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
44831 posts

Thu Mar-30-17 03:42 PM

255. "To be fair, you view plain old thinking as over thinking"
In response to Reply # 251
Thu Mar-30-17 03:43 PM by Cold Truth

You consistently view pretty much everything in the simplest, most basic terms imaginable.

It's not "over thinking" to actually take a moment to actually use your brain and, you know, actually THINK about something. That's just "thinking". You should try it sometime.

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madwriter
Charter member
12234 posts

Thu Mar-30-17 03:57 PM

257. "why does stuff like this bother you so much lol"
In response to Reply # 251

questioning things is healthy
you may think it's minute
but it's still healthy

so many things we think are small grow to become or reinforce other ideas

--------
<--------- my cousin
www.richardlouissaint.com
photobloggin' it:
http://blog.richardlouissaint.com

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Mon Apr-03-17 05:21 AM

282. "Do you think it's a topic that needs to be discussed over tea? "
In response to Reply # 257

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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madwriter
Charter member
12234 posts

Thu Mar-30-17 03:53 PM

256. "of course this post would go poast"
In response to Reply # 0

yall don't know how to have discussions about gender and ish without being all in your feelings like your "straight" manhood will be threatened because people question patriarchy ideas more now.

some of yall need to grow up anyway that's it for my rare OKP appearance

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rdhull
Charter member
33127 posts

Thu Mar-30-17 05:02 PM

260. "'I'm still here. I'm still here'-(c)Ms. Celie/OKP"
In response to Reply # 256

>yall don't know how to have discussions about gender and ish
>without being all in your feelings like your "straight"
>manhood will be threatened because people question patriarchy
>ideas more now.
>
>some of yall need to grow up anyway that's it for my rare OKP
>appearance

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denny
Member since Apr 11th 2008
11281 posts

Sun Apr-02-17 12:59 AM

265. "Our society is not a patriarchy."
In response to Reply # 256

My question for anyone that disagrees with this would be: Compared to when and where? Women living in modern western societies are, along with men, literally the luckiest and most privileged human beings in the history of human civilization.

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atruhead
Charter member
85230 posts

Sun Apr-02-17 12:31 PM

268. ""modern racism isnt shit compared to slavery" - denny"
In response to Reply # 265

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denny
Member since Apr 11th 2008
11281 posts

Sun Apr-02-17 11:10 PM

271. "WTF?"
In response to Reply # 268

Why are you committing slander on the internet?

In anycase....I don't think racism and sexism are comparable. If you disagree then you should respond to what I said rather than falsely associating me with a completely different viewpoint about a completely different issue from the one I opined on.

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atruhead
Charter member
85230 posts

Sun Apr-02-17 11:58 PM

272. "you: things arent that bad, women are doing better than ever"
In response to Reply # 271
Sun Apr-02-17 11:58 PM by atruhead

me: that sounds like you would also argue the same thing about blacks

so, sure I didnt directly quote you regarding slavery/race relations today. I tried to illustrate how you sound and *woosh* you went literal

(btw im not really about to easily believe "that's not how I feel about black people, it isnt comparable" bc it's very comparable to me)

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denny
Member since Apr 11th 2008
11281 posts

Mon Apr-03-17 04:00 AM

275. "It's part of the problem though."
In response to Reply # 272

Ironically, the critical theory post modernists have created a very binary, simplified worldview. You either use the emerging linguistic euphemisms and observe all human interaction as a product of oppression dynamics....or you are racist, sexist and homophobic.

See my post below. I would NEVER make this same argument against perceptions of race discrimination. I couldn't...because the statistics would tell the story. I am a liberal. The new left is illiberal. They are authoritarian.

Aint' trying to be melo-dramatic. Probably sound that way. There is a space between fox news and the progressive left. We don't have to be one or the other.

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atruhead
Charter member
85230 posts

Mon Apr-03-17 08:45 AM

287. "no one is accusing you of this"
In response to Reply # 275

You either use the
>emerging linguistic euphemisms and observe all human
>interaction as a product of oppression dynamics....or you are
>racist, sexist and homophobic.

>There is a space between fox news and the progressive left.
>We don't have to be one or the other.

I just tried to show you the flaws in your argument

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denny
Member since Apr 11th 2008
11281 posts

Tue Apr-04-17 04:22 AM

292. "Could you explicitly state the flaw in my argument?"
In response to Reply # 287
Tue Apr-04-17 04:35 AM by denny

Cause it sounds alot like a 'tone equivalency'. Or more specifically....'people who think the patriarchy doesn't exist are the same as people who think racism doesn't exist'. I fail to see how this reveals a flaw in my argument. What I see is a classical straw-man fallacy.

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
44831 posts

Tue Apr-04-17 07:33 AM

295. "LMAO!!! Oh now you want your own words explained correctly?"
In response to Reply # 292

You want someone to take the time to thoughtfully deconstruct and explain the flaw in your logic?

Lulz

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atruhead
Charter member
85230 posts

Tue Apr-04-17 10:56 AM

297. "I never said your argument was flawed"
In response to Reply # 292

I said "this is what you sound like"

if you want to hang on to "it's not the same" because you dont want to sound the same way racism deniers do, feel free

"patriarchy doesnt exist" is a weird idea either way

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Tue Apr-04-17 01:58 PM

298. "shouts to denny for creating a straw man argument"
In response to Reply # 292

to argue that someone else is creating a straw man argument.

I love nothing more in this world than watching reddit-educated logic battles, it's fucking great.

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Mynoriti
Charter member
38815 posts

Tue Apr-04-17 03:34 PM

299. "your argument is basically a collection of those "liberal logic" memes"
In response to Reply # 292

trivialize this group's complaints by pointing out where someone else has it worse , or how good they have it, or why they care about this but not that.

So, an all male panel in congress to discuss the future of women's reproductive rights is not a sign of patriarchy because in Saudi Arabia women can't drive or vote.

just apply the same thing to race, sex, income level, etc...

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rdhull
Charter member
33127 posts

Sun Apr-02-17 12:48 PM

269. "yes it is lol"
In response to Reply # 265

>My question for anyone that disagrees with this would be:
>Compared to when and where? Women living in modern western
>societies are, along with men, literally the luckiest and most
>privileged human beings in the history of human civilization.

yes, progess has been made but there's a long way to go still

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Mynoriti
Charter member
38815 posts

Sun Apr-02-17 04:37 PM

270. "eh.. Fox/right wing radio uses that line of reasoning quite a bit"
In response to Reply # 265

it's the same line of thought that "poor" people shouldn't be complaining because the average american below the poverty line lives better than most people on the planet, and more every day luxuries than kings and queens used to back in the day.

and don't even get them started if some so-called poor person (especially of a darker shade) has a smart phone and an ebt card.

>My question for anyone that disagrees with this would be:
>Compared to when and where? Women living in modern western
>societies are, along with men, literally the luckiest and most
>privileged human beings in the history of human civilization.

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denny
Member since Apr 11th 2008
11281 posts

Mon Apr-03-17 12:01 AM

273. "You don't usually traffic in logical fallacies."
In response to Reply # 270
Mon Apr-03-17 12:25 AM by denny

Why not debate the topic at hand rather than presumed associations with debate positions?

Getting started (and I should make clear...this is NOT an argument than men are oppressed or women 'have it better'. It's simply a set of statistics that you would never find in any other definition of 'oppressed people')

-Women's life expectancy 5 years longer than men
-Women outnumber men at post-secondary educational schools at a ratio of 60 to 40.
-92% of workplace deaths happen to men. Because men do the large majority of shitty, dangerous jobs.
-78% of murder victims are men
-Male children are overwhelmingly more likely to be bullied, harassed and assaulted at school growing up.
-78% of suicides are men.
-93% of federal inmates are male.
-Men receive longer prison sentences for the same crimes as women (studies have shown apoprox 60% longer for men)
-65% of homeless people are male

Again...these arguments aren't meant to prove men are underprivileged. Both sexes have advantages and disadvantages. But when we talk about oppressed groups like Muslims in India....Black people in America....women in Afghanistan...after correcting for population representation we can't find statistics like this for those other groups that we define as oppressed.

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denny
Member since Apr 11th 2008
11281 posts

Mon Apr-03-17 01:21 AM

274. "In contrast....."
In response to Reply # 273

Black Americans are more likely to get murdered...more likely to go to prison...less likely to attend post-secondary school....more likely to be homeless....more likely to serve longer prison statistics...experience lower life expectancies.

I guess the argument is that statistics usually associated with 'oppressed people' are simply not applicable to women in NA.

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Mynoriti
Charter member
38815 posts

Mon Apr-03-17 04:43 AM

279. "because it's too familiar a tactic to ignore"
In response to Reply # 273
Mon Apr-03-17 05:02 AM by Mynoriti

and this whole post has gone way beyond the 'topic at hand' anyway which I didn't personally find to be an issue.
and probably because i listen to an unhealthy amount of right wing radio, and I hear that line of reasoning too much. and you're pretty much doing it again with all the stats you listed. I don't see much difference with that list, and "97% of americans have a refrigerator!" type arguments.
and while you may not be saying women have it better, or that men are oppressed, you do seem to be making an argument that things are equal because it all balances out. I mean I'm sure I can google a list to counter yours or whatever but I'm not sure there's a point. What % of congress/officeholders people on the fortune 500 list, CEOs or people in positions of power in general in this country are women? There are plenty of women, sure but we're still male dominated by a pretty huge margin.

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denny
Member since Apr 11th 2008
11281 posts

Mon Apr-03-17 05:20 AM

281. "If we spanned the past 100 years of oppressed groups across the world"
In response to Reply # 279
Mon Apr-03-17 05:22 AM by denny

How many of them would outnumber their oppressors at college/universities?

I understand that there's crossover with my claims and right wing talk radio. I think I made it pretty clear above that my claims are not extended to realms of race and homosexuality. But if right wing talk radio is emphasizing the inherent hypocrisy of privilege rhetoric being used selectively to garner moral authority...then I'm in. Because that's what's happening.

Noam Chomsky has chimed in on this and though I've never been partial to him....he makes perhaps the most important point. They're not talking about hunger, disease, war, global poverty...they're talking about micro-aggressions and turning inward. Within their own framework...it's the ULTIMATE act of the privileged...turning inward to a darks side of egalitarianism and disregarding the suffering of those less fortunate. And they will refuse to apply the same privilege framework in contexts that situates them with people from undeveloped countries. Why are THEY not the oppressor of those families bombed in Iraq last week? Using their same methodology...whether they agreed with the bombings or not....they benefit from living in the society that DROPPED those bombs. They will refuse to engage on this level of discourse because they are ONLY interested in employing privilege rhetoric when it gives them power via righteousness.

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Mon Apr-03-17 07:38 AM

285. "this is the dumbest statement I have ever read on OKP."
In response to Reply # 281

out of all of them.

I have never read anything this stupid, ever. It's possible I never will again.

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Mynoriti
Charter member
38815 posts

Mon Apr-03-17 01:11 PM

288. "you really are all over the place"
In response to Reply # 281

Citing that women outnumber men at universities proves that women outnumber men at universities. Then what?

Your Chomsky thing a whole separate discussion, and in this case, deflection that can be applied to pretty much anything americans complain about.

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denny
Member since Apr 11th 2008
11281 posts

Tue Apr-04-17 03:43 AM

290. "I think I've answered the 'then what?'"
In response to Reply # 288
Tue Apr-04-17 03:47 AM by denny

These statistics are not consistent for what we normally define a group as being oppressed. Palestinians are not out-numbering and out-performing Jewish students on university campuses in Israel. Muslims are not out-performing Hindu students in India. If we were to create a list of all oppressed groups in the world....women in North America would have an extended list of outlying statistics that would differ from the patterns we observe for all the other oppressed groups. Ie longer life expectancy and all the rest of it mentioned above. Which suggests to me...perhaps they don't belong on our list of oppressed groups.

I see what you're saying about the Chomsky argument....we shouldn't dismiss issues at home just because there's greater problems abroad. Agreed. But his argument isn't so much that we should dismiss personal/local issues in light of global concerns. He's saying that leftist activism has become increasingly egalitarian and dogmatic. The tradition amongst the activist left to fight for those less privileged is being lost because we're being encouraged to look no further than our own 'lived experiences'. Instead of seeking out the under-privileged for whom to fight for....we have turned inward to seek the under-privileged experience in ourselves.

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Tue Apr-04-17 03:45 AM

291. "😂😂😂😂😂😂😂"
In response to Reply # 290

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Mon Apr-03-17 04:39 AM

277. "you're just now noticing what dumbass denny is?"
In response to Reply # 270

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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ConcreteCharlie
Member since Nov 21st 2002
71387 posts

Wed Apr-05-17 02:40 PM

303. "That and being a patriarchy are not necessarily imcompatible"
In response to Reply # 265

your argument sounds suspiciously similar (read: identical) to the people who are like "MAN THE POOR IN THE U.S. GOT IPHONES! OUR POOR ARE RICHER THAN THE RICH IN MOST COUNTRIES." To them, the fact that poor people in the U.S. make 1500 a month and poor people in Uganda make $15 a month makes the poor in the U.S. "privileged." But they aren't.

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

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Paps_Smear
Member since Feb 02nd 2009
4254 posts

Mon Apr-03-17 07:35 AM

284. "Sometimes I feel like I exist in an alternative universe"
In response to Reply # 0

Or some of ya'll do and I'm still in the normal one.

This post

lol

=================
Official Okay-Super Villain™

I only play the games that I win at -
Gamertag: Innovator
PSN: DurtyGambino
Steam: Durty Gambino
Twitch.tv/durtygambino

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Mon Apr-03-17 07:57 AM

286. "lmao"
In response to Reply # 284

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Mon Apr-03-17 01:39 PM

289. "All you can do is look and be thankful you're in your right mind. "
In response to Reply # 284

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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ConcreteCharlie
Member since Nov 21st 2002
71387 posts

Tue Apr-04-17 10:47 AM

296. "I think it's fine to ask this question but definitely not an issue"
In response to Reply # 0

You should tell them to look out for their brother or their friends or whomever, but I don't wanna be that relativist "look out for everyone" dude either. It is NATURAL and completely fine to be protective of your mother, sister, girlfriend or wife and more so than you would be your male relatives or friends even. First of all from a physical standpoint it's natural and from an emotional one also. We are wired certain ways from centuries back and we should not fight it unless it creates something unsafe or harmful. This doesn't, it feels right because it is.

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
22151 posts

Tue Apr-04-17 03:35 PM

300. "three hunna"
In response to Reply # 0

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Wed Apr-05-17 03:02 PM

304. "but do you tell your sons that when you're jealous of a dude"
In response to Reply # 0

you....go to his profile on Twitter?

or do you keep that a secret from your family.

am I playing devil's advocate the right way?

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Wed Apr-05-17 03:11 PM

305. "nigga you look like mascot for a single A baseball team"
In response to Reply # 304

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Wed Apr-05-17 05:20 PM

308. "and you go to the game every week to buy me an ice cream sandwich"
In response to Reply # 305

I love being loved by you

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Bblock
Member since Feb 20th 2012
6243 posts

Wed Apr-05-17 04:42 PM

306. "it's a feel good statement designed to make"
In response to Reply # 0

the son feel good, that he has some responsibility, that's not a heavy burden if he's still young
it makes the father feel good, like he's passing down the torch
it makes the mother feel good, to feel like her safety is extra important to her man
in all reality, if shit went down, the mother would step up and protect her kids

life always offers you a 2nd chance...it's called tomorrow. use it wisely

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Paps_Smear
Member since Feb 02nd 2009
4254 posts

Wed Apr-05-17 05:19 PM

307. "^^^^^^^^^^^"
In response to Reply # 306

Anything else is over thinking it.

This right here is what it is

=================
Official Okay-Super Villain™

I only play the games that I win at -
Gamertag: Innovator
PSN: DurtyGambino
Steam: Durty Gambino
Twitch.tv/durtygambino

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Mynoriti
Charter member
38815 posts

Wed Apr-05-17 05:34 PM

309. "pretty much"
In response to Reply # 306

>the son feel good, that he has some responsibility, that's
>not a heavy burden if he's still young
>it makes the father feel good, like he's passing down the
>torch
>it makes the mother feel good, to feel like her safety is
>extra important to her man
>in all reality, if shit went down, the mother would step up
>and protect her kids
>

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Wed Apr-05-17 07:11 PM

310. "shouts to y'all for giving out those participation trophies"
In response to Reply # 306

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Wed Apr-05-17 07:20 PM

311. "Wish someone told you to watch out for your hairline "
In response to Reply # 310

Ole Vampire of Brooklyn hairline having ass nigga

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Wed Apr-05-17 09:07 PM

315. "I know, you'd love to run your fingers through my flowing locks"
In response to Reply # 311

I hear you boo.

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 06:03 AM

319. "Ole Imperial Navy Fleet hairline having ass nicca"
In response to Reply # 315

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 08:39 AM

324. "yeah I don't really get this reference"
In response to Reply # 319

so I don't know what it has to do with you wanting to fuck me, but I know you want to fuck me bro.

I'm flattered.

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 08:42 AM

326. "only thing you need to get is a shape up"
In response to Reply # 324

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 08:45 AM

327. "which haircut would make me look the sexiest for you?"
In response to Reply # 326

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Pete Burns
Member since Oct 18th 2005
5445 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 03:59 AM

318. "Oh, fuck, lol!"
In response to Reply # 311

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rob
Charter member
23210 posts

Wed Apr-05-17 07:59 PM

312. "we need to be "over"thinking this stuff"
In response to Reply # 306

cause these boys do grow up thinking they own women. they do grow up being dismissive and mansplainy and rapey.

and these boys do grow up taking any kind of challenges from women and rejection as justification for their "i'm a nice guy but...." bullshit and posting about men's rights online.

and young women to grow up to be less likely to think of themselves as capable and as leaders.

these aren't universal, but they're extremely common, and they come from exactly these mundane interactions that people take for granted. how the fuck else do we think people are growing up with these attitudes?

these are all ordinary documented facts based on decades of research. and we start signaling to these children their place in the world yoooooooung.

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Lurkmode
Member since May 07th 2011
5183 posts

Wed Apr-05-17 08:25 PM

313. "RE: we need to be "over"thinking this stuff"
In response to Reply # 312

>cause these boys do grow up thinking they own women. they do
>grow up being dismissive and mansplainy and rapey.
>
>and these boys do grow up taking any kind of challenges from
>women and rejection as justification for their "i'm a nice guy
>but...." bullshit and posting about men's rights online.
>
>and young women to grow up to be less likely to think of
>themselves as capable and as leaders.
>
>these aren't universal, but they're extremely common, and they
>come from exactly these mundane interactions that people take
>for granted. how the fuck else do we think people are growing
>up with these attitudes?
>
>these are all ordinary documented facts based on decades of
>research. and we start signaling to these children their place
>in the world yoooooooung.

All that comes from society and environment not mundane interactions.

---------------------------
Signature

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rob
Charter member
23210 posts

Wed Apr-05-17 08:41 PM

314. "society and environment ARE mundane interactions"
In response to Reply # 313

that's like 90% of it.

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Lurkmode
Member since May 07th 2011
5183 posts

Wed Apr-05-17 09:23 PM

317. "Nah"
In response to Reply # 314

Parenting and countering the negative attention that society and environment push non-stop is mundane.

---------------------------
Signature

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denny
Member since Apr 11th 2008
11281 posts

Wed Apr-05-17 09:18 PM

316. "I agree with you in regards to 'overthinking'."
In response to Reply # 312
Wed Apr-05-17 09:27 PM by denny

I'm all for reflecting on things that we typically ignore and looking for ways to improve how we interact with our kids. So anyone dismissing the critique of this practice as 'ovethinking' certainly doesn't share my position.

I just see this particularly example as an extension of pretend role-playing (playing house, chores disguised as 'jobs' or 'assignments', etc) that serves an important function in child-rearing. If a child shows a tendency towards 'protective' or 'caring' roles than we should re-enforce them in the pretend roles we engage in. My ten year old also plays 'nurse' when his younger brother or sister are sick. There's a clear functional use for these games.

So with that established (that there's benefit in doing this)...the burden now falls on the critique to show that there's more harm than good being done. And that's where the argument has fallen short. I haven't been convinced that 'take care of your mom and siblings' serves to negatively impact the way children see women. It's been suggested that it implies women can't take of themselves. If we take this seriously, then ALL of our pretend role-playing comes into question. Our main concern should not be FORCING kids into gender roles they have shown they are averse to naturally. Like making your tom-boy daughter wear a dress or act 'lady-like'. Or discouraging a masculine young boy from indulging in his instinct to be protective.

If i ask my son 'Hey, I need an assistant worker to shovel the driveway'....does this then imply I'm incapable of shovelling the driveway by myself? I'm PRETENDING I'm incapable....but that's the problem here. These games are defined by pretending. I'd argue the child, deep down KNOWS the parameters of pretending we are engaging in. If they don't..then yes, we should certainly clarify that with them. IE Your mother doesn't really need to be taken care of....we're just playing a game like when we 'play house'. I haven't felt the need to clarify this with my kids. I can detect that they are already aware of these parameters.

And the elephant in the room...is that we are all assigning value judgements to these pretend roles. I'd imagine my step-son playing 'nurse' would be cool with progressives. But they'd take exception if he played 'protector' for his mom while I was at work. In other words....male gender roles are bad and shouldn't be re-enforced. Which is completely ridiculous. My step-son just happens to be effiminate and has an allure to female gender roles. If he was overtly masculine and had an allure to male gender roles...I would encourage THOSE with him. Contrary to popular opinion, gender roles aren't inherently good or evil.

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 07:32 AM

320. "lmao"
In response to Reply # 316

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 08:17 AM

321. "This is worth emphasizing. This dude here says this behavoir leads to"
In response to Reply # 312

>boys do grow up thinking they own women. they do
>grow up being dismissive and mansplainy and rapey.

Just a couple of questions:

1. What is your basis for saying this? Can you offer a shred of empirical basis for this?

2. Aren't you not from the US?

3. Isn't this a cultural practice that you have no familiarity with at all (ie, did you grow up in a household where your dad did this? Do you know of a household where a dad did this and the son grew up to be rapey?)

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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Paps_Smear
Member since Feb 02nd 2009
4254 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 08:25 AM

322. "Almost feels like a lot of reaching"
In response to Reply # 321

I don't get this type of thinking.

When my pops told me this I never once thought that I owned a woman. Only thing I thought was wow my pops trust me with making sure people are safe. Felt like an honor.

You get some people who have never been told this and still think they own a woman.

It feels like shit gets blown out of proportion way too much. Something positive gets turned around because why? That's just how we living now. Not everything needs to be questioned. More importantly the things that are meant to be positive are being questioned now.

I just keep telling myself that those people may be in the minority and keep it moving. Don't know one parent that would be offended by something like that.

=================
Official Okay-Super Villain™

I only play the games that I win at -
Gamertag: Innovator
PSN: DurtyGambino
Steam: Durty Gambino
Twitch.tv/durtygambino

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 08:38 AM

323. "LOL"
In response to Reply # 322

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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rob
Charter member
23210 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 10:25 AM

329. "the problem is y'all are taking criticism as personal attacks"
In response to Reply # 322
Thu Apr-06-17 10:34 AM by rob

which, again, is part of how privilege and backlash works.

i'm certainly not saying it's bad or it's wrong. i'm saying we could do it better. i'm saying, it's not just about YOU. it's about the unintended consequences and the people who are hurt by unquestioned attitudes.

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 10:43 AM

334. "My dude, how is not bad or wrong if it's "dismissive" and "rapey"?"
In response to Reply # 329

And again, what is the basis for stating that there are these sort of unintended consequences?

I am all for questioning tradition. and I am clearly not one of those against "overthinking it" because I asked the question in the first place.

But let's apply that same sort of scrutiny to your position. Again, what is your basis for saying that instilling in boys the notion that they should try to protect the women in their life somehow leads to them being rapey and think they own women? Shit, I will take anecdotal evidence at this point (hence me asking about your personal background).

All I ask is please don't use that terrible RJCC logic of 1.)Men have been doing this forever and 2.) Men have been raping and treating women terribly forever, ERGO telling Men this makes them rapey and treat women terribly.

BTW, the funniest thing about this question is that everywhere I ask it, there is one group that has 100% been consistently for it, Mothers of boys. Take that for whatever it's worth.

>i'm certainly not saying it's bad or it's wrong. i'm saying we
>could do it better. i'm saying, it's not just about YOU. it's
>about the unintended consequences and the people who are hurt
>but unquestioned attitudes.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 08:41 AM

325. "smh @ rapey"
In response to Reply # 321

these dudes are weird as shit.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 08:51 AM

328. "take the challenge friend"
In response to Reply # 321
Thu Apr-06-17 08:59 AM by Rjcc

https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/730280050952708096/TXa5ViZN.jpg

my DMs are open

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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rob
Charter member
23210 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 10:31 AM

330. "RE: This is worth emphasizing. This dude here says this behavoir leads ..."
In response to Reply # 321

>>boys do grow up thinking they own women. they do
>>grow up being dismissive and mansplainy and rapey.
>
>
>Just a couple of questions:
>
>1. What is your basis for saying this? Can you offer a shred
>of empirical basis for this?

there's plenty of research on career outcomes, gender gap in the sciences, women's leadership issues, sexual assault, domestic violence, men's attitudes out there. obviously the people in this post are not exactly inclined to read those studies, but y'all should.

the self-reported incidence of sexual violence among women is very high, and i understand someone being skeptical of those numbers. (i tend of disagree, but there are better people than myself to champion those statistics). even if it was half of what's reported, however, that would be incredibly fucked up and something we need to change.

it's kind of baffling to me that y'all would not question your assumptions here. this is okp. lots of posters wouldn't pause on these observations at all if we were talking about young black men and institutional and social forces that alter perceptions and produce biases in policing.

i assume you take issue with the mechanism. i was very careful not to state a causative link, because i'm not an expert. but the survey and psych studies are consistent on this one, enough that at the very least would should recognize the behavior as, by definition, sexist, and question whether it's appropriate. (for example....http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/01/lots-of-men-dont-think-rape-is-rape.html) the anecdotal evidence (stanford rape, this gymnastics shit, etc etc) is compelling.

thing's like this "look out for your mom" thing aren't the whole story, but they are definitely part of it.

and again, i'm not even saying "don't do it." i'm not looking at anyone sideways that wants their sons to take care of others. i'm saying...hey, recognize what assumptions you're instilling. don't take for granted that this is a way that we treat young men and women differently, and our actions often have unintended consequences.

>2. Aren't you not from the US?

i've lived most of my life in texas, with the other decade living in large american cities. the community i grew up in and where i live now is mostly mexican-american. my parents are from the midwest and appalachia. the only elders i had that didn't have traditional attitudes about masculinity were some of the sisters that taught me in catholic school.

>3. Isn't this a cultural practice that you have no
>familiarity with at all (ie, did you grow up in a household
>where your dad did this?

my parents only half did this (i was told often to look after my sister, but don't remember ever being told to look after my mother), but its definitely something i heard from other adults. most of my friends parents did. my uncles definitely did with my cousins.

again, this isn't a cultural norm with which i'm unfamiliar. it's probably something 90% of the boys in my class hear from their families, and i don't go around shaming their parents for it. but, like smoking and guns and eating excessive among of salty meats and countless other things, we will be better off as a whole if we changed our habits on this one.

>Do you know of a household where a
>dad did this and the son grew up to be rapey?)

yes.

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 11:10 AM

335. "Brosef. This isn't about people not believing women have it tough. "
In response to Reply # 330

In fact, I think it's exactly that reason why Men have a responsbility to look out for women.

>>>boys do grow up thinking they own women. they do
>>>grow up being dismissive and mansplainy and rapey.
>>
>>
>>Just a couple of questions:
>>
>>1. What is your basis for saying this? Can you offer a shred
>>of empirical basis for this?
>
>there's plenty of research on career outcomes, gender gap in
>the sciences, women's leadership issues, sexual assault,
>domestic violence, men's attitudes out there. obviously the
>people in this post are not exactly inclined to read those
>studies, but y'all should.

No one is denying women are discriminated against and are subject to negative sexist treatment. I don't know who here would argue otherwise.

>
>the self-reported incidence of sexual violence among women is
>very high, and i understand someone being skeptical of those
>numbers. (i tend of disagree, but there are better people than
>myself to champion those statistics). even if it was half of
>what's reported, however, that would be incredibly fucked up
>and something we need to change.

Dude this the humdinger. If we all know that women are highly more prone to be subject to violence, almost completely so by men, HOW DOES IT NOT MAKE SENSE TO TELL MEN THEY SHOULD LOOK OUT FOR WOMEN!!

Here is what a woman said when I posed this question of facebook which is worth sharing:

"Grown women can take of themselves, but truth be told we are safer when men are also looking out for our well-being. It's not that we are incompetent, it's that we are disproportionately targeted. Personally, I think it's important to reinforce to young men that they have a duty to be mindful of the safety of the women around them and carry themselves in such a way that other men are on notice that they will intervene if they sense a threat."

Tell me how she wrong Sway!?!?!?

>it's kind of baffling to me that y'all would not question your
>assumptions here. this is okp. lots of posters wouldn't pause
>on these observations at all if we were talking about young
>black men and institutional and social forces that alter
>perceptions and produce biases in policing.
>
>i assume you take issue with the mechanism. i was very careful
>not to state a causative link, because i'm not an expert. but
>the survey and psych studies are consistent on this one,
>enough that at the very least would should recognize the
>behavior as, by definition, sexist, and question whether it's
>appropriate. (for
>example....http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/01/lots-of-men-dont-think-rape-is-rape.html)
>the anecdotal evidence (stanford rape, this gymnastics shit,
>etc etc) is compelling.
>
>thing's like this "look out for your mom" thing aren't the
>whole story, but they are definitely part of it.
>
>and again, i'm not even saying "don't do it." i'm not looking
>at anyone sideways that wants their sons to take care of
>others. i'm saying...hey, recognize what assumptions you're
>instilling. don't take for granted that this is a way that we
>treat young men and women differently, and our actions often
>have unintended consequences.

This is one of those scenarios where I think the desire to not treat people different makes people blind to realities and literally does more harm than good.

It is much more dangerous for a woman to walk home alone at 3AM in my neighborhood than a man. If my guy friend left my house to do this, I don't think I would think too much about it. So that would make it wrong if I decide that I would have to walk a female friend home in the same situation? Is that being sexist?

>
>
>>2. Aren't you not from the US?
>
>i've lived most of my life in texas, with the other decade
>living in large american cities. the community i grew up in
>and where i live now is mostly mexican-american. my parents
>are from the midwest and appalachia. the only elders i had
>that didn't have traditional attitudes about masculinity were
>some of the sisters that taught me in catholic school.
>
>>3. Isn't this a cultural practice that you have no
>>familiarity with at all (ie, did you grow up in a household
>>where your dad did this?
>
>my parents only half did this (i was told often to look after
>my sister, but don't remember ever being told to look after my
>mother), but its definitely something i heard from other
>adults. most of my friends parents did. my uncles definitely
>did with my cousins.
>
>again, this isn't a cultural norm with which i'm unfamiliar.
>it's probably something 90% of the boys in my class hear from
>their families, and i don't go around shaming their parents
>for it. but, like smoking and guns and eating excessive among
>of salty meats and countless other things, we will be better
>off as a whole if we changed our habits on this one.
>
>>Do you know of a household where a
>>dad did this and the son grew up to be rapey?)
>
>yes.
>

Sorry, I got you confused with this European cat who would often comment on this sort of stuff with no American context. Hence the personal quesitons.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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rob
Charter member
23210 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 05:46 PM

365. "if you think the best solution to women having it rough"
In response to Reply # 335
Thu Apr-06-17 05:46 PM by rob

is that men need to be out there protecting them, then you're making my point for me. that's not going to lead to long term progress, just guarantee these problems will persist.

i'm sure on practical day to day matters, we're often on the same page. i think philosophically we're in agree to disagree territory.

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HotThyng76
Charter member
51232 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 12:28 PM

338. "hey stupid:"
In response to Reply # 321
Thu Apr-06-17 12:31 PM by HotThyng76

he's not saying this particular statement by a parent like you (uh oh...KIDS) about their coparent (UH OH...SPOUSE MENTIONED) leads directly to anti-woman behavioral problems. he's saying this attitude is part of the problem. the attitude that develops after a father (OH NO) tells his child (YIKES) to 'take care of his mother' (OH MY GOD@!!! CALL THE ADMINS!!!@!) is problematic. he's saying it's worth thinking about whether we want to continue dropping this sort of crap on our kids (OH MY MY GOD NOT THE KIDS NOW WE"RE GONNA GET ALL IRRATIONAL B?C YOU KNOW HOW WE ARE ABOUT THE KIDS WE CAN'T THINK RIGHT WHEN SOMEONE MENTIONS OUR KIDS THAT WE ONLY KNOW ABOUT ON OKP B/C WE TALKED ABOUT OUR KIDS FIRST OMG OMG OMG) since we know or should know that it can create problems later in life.

maybe some of you numbnuts don't see the problems this attitude creates. maybe some of you idiots don't give a fuck. maybe some of you are so needlessly defensive (typical posture for YOU especially) that you can't even give this any thought.

but what he's saying makes perfect sense.

it's worth thinking about. thinking about. no need to take it as a personal attack (as you tend to b/c you're dumb).
_______________________

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 01:14 PM

340. "SoWhat Alias? Why don't you just call me a poopy head?"
In response to Reply # 338

And your rephrasing and cleaning up what he said might have been what he meant and had been thinking, but his exact words draw a clear straight line between this "attitude" and anti-women behavioral problems. And so do your words " the attitude that develops after a father tells his child to 'take care of his mother' is problematic".

To be clear, the attitude you speak of the attitude that a man should feel responsible for the safety of the women in their presence IMHOP.

You weren't raised to feel, or today you don't feel, any responsbility for the physical safety of women in your presence, that's fine. Live your life. It probably has little consequences for you.

But don't feel all sorts of insecurity and want to talk shit about guys who were and try to frame it as problematic when you can't find me a single mother of boys who feel this way.

Don't trust me. Ask your friends who are mother of boys and get back to me. I'll wait.

BTW, you should know you are doing well in an argument when you got to resort to child-ish name calling.

What's funny is that you guys accuse me as being the one taking it so personal but yall the ones who can't discuss this without resorting to name calling, all caps and generally getting all caught up in your feelings.

>he's not saying this particular statement by a parent like
>you (uh oh...KIDS) about their coparent (UH OH...SPOUSE
>MENTIONED) leads directly to anti-woman behavioral problems.
>he's saying this attitude is part of the problem. the
>attitude that develops after a father (OH NO) tells his child
>(YIKES) to 'take care of his mother' (OH MY GOD@!!! CALL THE
>ADMINS!!!@!) is problematic. he's saying it's worth thinking
>about whether we want to continue dropping this sort of crap
>on our kids (OH MY MY GOD NOT THE KIDS NOW WE"RE GONNA GET ALL
>IRRATIONAL B?C YOU KNOW HOW WE ARE ABOUT THE KIDS WE CAN'T
>THINK RIGHT WHEN SOMEONE MENTIONS OUR KIDS THAT WE ONLY KNOW
>ABOUT ON OKP B/C WE TALKED ABOUT OUR KIDS FIRST OMG OMG OMG)
>since we know or should know that it can create problems later
>in life.
>
>maybe some of you numbnuts don't see the problems this
>attitude creates. maybe some of you idiots don't give a fuck.
> maybe some of you are so needlessly defensive (typical
>posture for YOU especially) that you can't even give this any
>thought.
>
>but what he's saying makes perfect sense.
>
>it's worth thinking about. thinking about. no need to take
>it as a personal attack (as you tend to b/c you're dumb).
>_______________________

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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HotThyng76
Charter member
51232 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 01:25 PM

341. "hey shit head:"
In response to Reply # 340

>To be clear, the attitude you speak of the attitude that a man
>should feel responsible for the safety of the women in their
>presen

the attitude is that women are weaker and need a BOY'S protection. that a BOY is somehow superior to a full-grown woman (b/c he has a duty to protect her). even his actual mother. that's the attitude.

>You weren't raised to feel, or today you don't feel, any
>responsbility for the physical safety of women in your
>presence, that's fine.

i'm not silly enough to make this about me.

Live your life. It probably has little
>consequences for you.

yeah b/c i live in a bubble where no women exist. b/c i'm a cock-loving faggot. right.

>But don't feel all sorts of insecurity

i'm not the one displaying insecurity in this discussion, hoss. LOL

and want to talk shit
>about guys who were

LOL. you can't help making this personal. LOL @ you.

and try to frame it as problematic when
>you can't find me a single mother of boys who feel this way.

i can't? really? there aren't women in this post who've disagreed? LOL.

my god. again though...you made this post seeking validation. or something. i don't understand your fervent pushback against the few of us who've said the sentiment you brought up in the OP is problematic. i don't understand your needless defensiveness unless, again, you want the ENTIRE WORLD to agree w/your decision. like in that marriage post. you can't stand it when anyone makes a family-related decision other than the one you made. 'live and let live' isn't good enough. we must be brow-beaten until we agree that what you do w/your family is the only way. the right way. silly you. LOL @ you. run to the admins b/c i mentioned your family. do it. shit head.

>Don't trust me. Ask your friends who are mother of boys and
>get back to me. I'll wait.

i just asked a coworker who is a mother of 2 boys. she laughed at the notion that her 2 and 4 year old boys should be made to feel they need to protect her. she wanted to read this post and find out what the fuck is being talked about.

she said: I protect THEM. They don't protect me.

then she laughed.

still waiting?

>BTW, you should know you are doing well in an argument when
>you got to resort to child-ish name calling.

that's about all your 'argument' is worth, shit head.

>What's funny is that you guys accuse me as being the one
>taking it so personal but yall the ones who can't discuss this
>without resorting to name calling, all caps and generally
>getting all caught up in your feelings.

that's me doing that. b/c i find your ignorance so frustrating. you go out of your way to be stupid. when you should know better and do better. i guess b/c we're both lawyers. i expect more of you and i shouldn't. that's definitely my fault. maybe you're not a trial lawyer b/c you don't have the smarts for it. i dunno. but yeah...my fault for expecting you not to be an idiot.

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 01:51 PM

342. "Why bother with the Alias though? Did you get banned?"
In response to Reply # 341
Thu Apr-06-17 01:56 PM by Buddy_Gilapagos

There is not a single mother of boys in this post who thinks it's a bad thing.

And of course your co-worker thinks it's bad because you framed it as literally a child defending a grown woman as oppose to training a young man to start thinking about the safety of women in his company (which has been discussed exhaustively as the point of this in this thread).

But go ahead and show her this post. Let her read it all the way through. I just re-read all my post here and yeah I would be fine with everything I said her being attrituble to me in real life. (Can you say the same? Or would you be embarassed by your foaming at the mouth in this post?)

Shit pose the very same question on your facebook and let the people speak on it.

This is one of those arguments that you can only be so strident anonymously online and you would definitely go another way IRL.

But now that I am pretty sure this is SoWhat I'm going to chill because I did pledge to avoid you, at this point mainly for your mental health, not mine. (or did you use an Alias to fool me into interact with you??!?)

>>To be clear, the attitude you speak of the attitude that a
>man
>>should feel responsible for the safety of the women in their
>>presen
>
>the attitude is that women are weaker and need a BOY'S
>protection. that a BOY is somehow superior to a full-grown
>woman (b/c he has a duty to protect her). even his actual
>mother. that's the attitude.
>
>>You weren't raised to feel, or today you don't feel, any
>>responsbility for the physical safety of women in your
>>presence, that's fine.
>
>i'm not silly enough to make this about me.
>
> Live your life. It probably has little
>>consequences for you.
>
>yeah b/c i live in a bubble where no women exist. b/c i'm a
>cock-loving faggot. right.
>
>>But don't feel all sorts of insecurity
>
>i'm not the one displaying insecurity in this discussion,
>hoss. LOL
>
> and want to talk shit
>>about guys who were
>
>LOL. you can't help making this personal. LOL @ you.
>
> and try to frame it as problematic when
>>you can't find me a single mother of boys who feel this way.
>
>
>i can't? really? there aren't women in this post who've
>disagreed? LOL.
>
>my god. again though...you made this post seeking validation.
> or something. i don't understand your fervent pushback
>against the few of us who've said the sentiment you brought up
>in the OP is problematic. i don't understand your needless
>defensiveness unless, again, you want the ENTIRE WORLD to
>agree w/your decision. like in that marriage post. you can't
>stand it when anyone makes a family-related decision other
>than the one you made. 'live and let live' isn't good enough.
> we must be brow-beaten until we agree that what you do w/your
>family is the only way. the right way. silly you. LOL @
>you. run to the admins b/c i mentioned your family. do it.
>shit head.
>
>>Don't trust me. Ask your friends who are mother of boys and
>>get back to me. I'll wait.
>
>i just asked a coworker who is a mother of 2 boys. she
>laughed at the notion that her 2 and 4 year old boys should be
>made to feel they need to protect her. she wanted to read
>this post and find out what the fuck is being talked about.
>
>she said: I protect THEM. They don't protect me.
>
>then she laughed.
>
>still waiting?
>
>>BTW, you should know you are doing well in an argument when
>>you got to resort to child-ish name calling.
>
>that's about all your 'argument' is worth, shit head.
>
>>What's funny is that you guys accuse me as being the one
>>taking it so personal but yall the ones who can't discuss
>this
>>without resorting to name calling, all caps and generally
>>getting all caught up in your feelings.
>
>that's me doing that. b/c i find your ignorance so
>frustrating. you go out of your way to be stupid. when you
>should know better and do better. i guess b/c we're both
>lawyers. i expect more of you and i shouldn't. that's
>definitely my fault. maybe you're not a trial lawyer b/c you
>don't have the smarts for it. i dunno. but yeah...my fault
>for expecting you not to be an idiot.
>

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 01:56 PM

343. "he got band and came right back with an alias? "
In response to Reply # 342

shit is blatant too...

hand down, man down

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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BigReg
Charter member
62390 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 02:01 PM

344. "Hotthyng ironically enough was his first name"
In response to Reply # 342
Thu Apr-06-17 02:05 PM by BigReg

He whips it out when posting on gay issues for shits and giggles as a throwback to when the boards was 'Ewww, don't tough me, you're gay!' and he was the main one trying to teach us neanderthals. He just didn't bother signing out of it from the Manilow post. *stops breaking the fourth wall*

That said, Im on team Rob/SoWhat in this argument besides whatever you guys have happening and I wouldda hopped in earlier before the post went well, poast; even if its a GOOD thing on paper its not hard to see how certain ideals, even positive ones, are steeped in patriarchy. Its hard to parse the good and the bad when they tend to be package deals. Obviously making the hop-skip-jump to saying that telling a kid to take care of his moms = co-signing women are lesser beings is huge but its not much of a leap from that to lets say, the 'man up' ideal which time and time again has hurt us as men instead of helped.

But beef on! *pops popcorn*

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 02:09 PM

345. "I stopped at "he whips it out" "
In response to Reply # 344

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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HotThyng76
Charter member
51232 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 02:22 PM

348. "i thought that was obvious. Lol"
In response to Reply # 344

SW is the 'alias'. HT is the original.
_______________________

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 02:33 PM

351. "^^^^^This late arriving, two-cents giving, no count deputy. "
In response to Reply # 344

For the record I am team Blue.

It's lightweight patriarchy (like holding doors and other gentlemany behavior), but the beneficiaries aren't mad at it so who is really getting worked up about it?

What I've learned from this post is that this topic is also delicious troll bait. It absolutely does not serve feminist or anti-sexist causes to get worked up about this. As soon you start drawing a straight line between this and rape culture, you make your cause look silly. Hence me being team Blue.

>He whips it out when posting on gay issues for shits and
>giggles as a throwback to when the boards was 'Ewww, don't
>tough me, you're gay!' and he was the main one trying to teach
>us neanderthals. He just didn't bother signing out of it from
>the Manilow post. *stops breaking the fourth wall*
>
>That said, Im on team Rob/SoWhat in this argument besides
>whatever you guys have happening and I wouldda hopped in
>earlier before the post went well, poast; even if its a GOOD
>thing on paper its not hard to see how certain ideals, even
>positive ones, are steeped in patriarchy. Its hard to parse
>the good and the bad when they tend to be package deals.
>Obviously making the hop-skip-jump to saying that telling a
>kid to take care of his moms = co-signing women are
>lesser...its not much of a leap from that to lets say, the
>'man up' ideal which time and time again has hurt instead of
>helped.
>
>But beef on!
>
>
>

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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HotThyng76
Charter member
51232 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 02:32 PM

349. "You told me to ask. I did. That wasn't good enough. Lol"
In response to Reply # 342

I could put this on FB - I could ask 20 more ppl. You won't be satisfied until I say everyone I asked agrees with you. Lol.

Poor you.
_______________________

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 10:35 AM

331. "The Real Question is, Who in here has Children? "
In response to Reply # 0

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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ambient1
Member since May 23rd 2007
41077 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 10:40 AM

332. "RE: The Real Question is, Who in here is a Serial Killer?"
In response to Reply # 331

got damn un subs

=======================================
Coolin...

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HotThyng76
Charter member
51232 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 02:33 PM

350. "I have 2."
In response to Reply # 331

_______________________

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 03:30 PM

353. "Since when?"
In response to Reply # 350

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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HotThyng76
Charter member
51232 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 03:30 PM

354. "they're older than yours."
In response to Reply # 353

_______________________

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 03:44 PM

357. "the real question is which children have losers for dads"
In response to Reply # 331

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Fri Apr-07-17 07:31 AM

371. "Oooh, You make it so easy. But I'm gonna let you live "
In response to Reply # 357

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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atruhead
Charter member
85230 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 10:40 AM

333. "How is this place more okayplayery than ever in 2017?"
In response to Reply # 0

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 11:12 AM

336. "Years of refining until you got that uncut pure. No dilution. "
In response to Reply # 333

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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NoDrawls McGraw
Member since Jun 24th 2007
12122 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 12:25 PM

337. "https://imgur.com/a/uVFuz"
In response to Reply # 0

https://imgur.com/a/uVFuz

Dat shit dat make ya soul burn slow.

https://chriswind.bandcamp.com/track/massage

"You can take an African out of Africa, but you can't take Africa out of the African"
Afro-Americana/Afro-Caribbana/Afro-Latino unite. We are ALL Black!

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HotThyng76
Charter member
51232 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 01:11 PM

339. "^ so relevant."
In response to Reply # 337

_______________________

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Creole
Charter member
15425 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 02:11 PM

346. "Damn! Them charcoals still hot?"
In response to Reply # 0

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Atillah Moor
Member since Sep 05th 2013
13825 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 02:19 PM

347. "lol I'm saying!"
In response to Reply # 346

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 03:02 PM

352. "had died by the weekend, got turned over and raked yesterday. "
In response to Reply # 346
Thu Apr-06-17 03:02 PM by Buddy_Gilapagos

I am just waiting for RJCC to bam it up and get it locked.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 04:01 PM

359. "exactly, everything you do is about me and your insecurity"
In response to Reply # 352

you enjoy looking at my picture some more today?

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 04:05 PM

361. "RE: exactly, everything you do is about me and your insecurity"
In response to Reply # 359

https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/730280050952708096/TXa5ViZN.jpg

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 04:18 PM

364. "you showed your wife yet?"
In response to Reply # 361

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Fri Apr-07-17 07:52 AM

372. "that nigga looks like the winner of a 5 year no fap challenge"
In response to Reply # 361

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Fri Apr-07-17 07:56 AM

373. "his hairline is the definition of a back court violation"
In response to Reply # 372

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Fri Apr-07-17 07:56 AM

374. "over and back ass hairline"
In response to Reply # 373

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Fri Apr-07-17 07:57 AM

375. "they gave him a sun visor for a batting helmet in little league"
In response to Reply # 374

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79554 posts

Fri Apr-07-17 07:58 AM

376. "he crowding the plate with his forehead. BALD FOUR head.."
In response to Reply # 375

ass nicca

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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Rjcc
Charter member
94962 posts

Fri Apr-07-17 03:01 PM

377. "keep trying fam, you'll get that pity LOL sooner or later"
In response to Reply # 376

I believe in you even when no one else does because the love is that strong.

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 03:31 PM

355. "Bruh, This post done went Triple Plat"
In response to Reply # 346

.
.

Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

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Creole
Charter member
15425 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 03:58 PM

358. "Is it sexist for mommas to not let their babies grow up to be cowboys?"
In response to Reply # 0
Thu Apr-06-17 03:59 PM by Creole

Waylon and Willie sang,

"Cowboys ain't easy to love and they're harder to hold
They'd rather give you a song then diamonds or gold
Lonestar belt buckles and old faded Levi's and each night begins a new day
If you don't understand him and he don't die young
He'll probably just ride away

Mamas' don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys
Don't let 'em pick guitars or drive them old trucks
Let 'em be doctors and lawyers and such
Mamas' don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys
'Cause they'll never stay home and they're always alone
Even with someone they love

Cowboys like smokey old pool rooms and clear mountain mornin's
Little warm puppies and children and girls of the night
Them that don't know him won't like him
And them that do sometimes won't know how to take him
He ain't wrong he's just different
But his pride won't let him do things to make you think he's right

Mama don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys
Don't let 'em pick guitars and drive them old trucks
Let 'em be doctors and lawyers and such
Mama don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys
'Cause they'll never stay home and they're always alone
Even with someone they love

Mamas' don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys
Don't let 'em pick guitars and drive them old trucks
Let 'em be doctors and lawyers and such"

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HotThyng76
Charter member
51232 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 04:12 PM

362. "it's sexier for mama's to let their babies grow up to be cowboys."
In response to Reply # 358

b/c cowboys are sexier than not-cowboys as a general matter.
_______________________

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flipnile
Member since Nov 05th 2003
13565 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 04:16 PM

363. "Momma used to say, "take your time young man, don't you rush...""
In response to Reply # 358

"...to get old. Take it in your stride. Live your life."

I'm wondering if I was held back now.

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Creole
Charter member
15425 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 05:55 PM

367. "RE: Momma also used to say, "Stupid is as stupid does," Jenny!"
In response to Reply # 363

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HotThyng76
Charter member
51232 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 06:00 PM

368. "Mama say mama saw ma-ma cu saw"
In response to Reply # 367

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Sarah_Bellum
Charter member
7489 posts

Thu Apr-06-17 06:53 PM

369. "This is how I imagine y'all look composing all 300+ replies "
In response to Reply # 0
Thu Apr-06-17 06:55 PM by Sarah_Bellum

https://media.giphy.com/media/lRwiAPgpdNYmk/giphy.gif
___________________________________________________________

DJTB YOMM

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49393 posts

Fri Apr-07-17 06:38 AM

370. "That's pretty funny. "
In response to Reply # 369

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

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denny
Member since Apr 11th 2008
11281 posts

Fri Apr-07-17 03:34 PM

378. "Care to share your take on this?"
In response to Reply # 369
Fri Apr-07-17 03:53 PM by denny

I was talking to my SO about this and we arrived at, what we think a pretty clear observation.

Some of the criticisms from the anti-patriachy crowd makes them guilty of the exact same mistake as the traditional gender policing crowd. We were trying to find a difference between a parent who is raising a tom-boy female child and forces them to wear a dress and act 'ladylike'. Most of us agree that this is wrong. But is it also not wrong to discourage boys who show an allure to traditional male gender roles from being 'who they are too?'

We think our guiding principle should be to identify with what roles your child has an allure to....and re-enforce and support those roles. Whether they fall into the traditional/patriarchal roles or not. It's really hypocritical to reward children simply for identifying with the opposite gender roles and discouraging those that don't. They're essentially doing the same thing that they're idealogical opponents are. NOT LETTING THE CHILD BE THEMSELVES

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Sarah_Bellum
Charter member
7489 posts

Fri Apr-07-17 06:51 PM

379. "RE: Care to share your take on this?"
In response to Reply # 378

https://media.tenor.co/images/30ecee2cae85e9d02e316a3668feee19/tenor.gif
___________________________________________________________

DJTB YOMM

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NoDrawls McGraw
Member since Jun 24th 2007
12122 posts

Fri Apr-07-17 07:36 PM

380. "Well-played."
In response to Reply # 379

https://chriswind.bandcamp.com/track/massage

"You can take an African out of Africa, but you can't take Africa out of the African"
Afro-Americana/Afro-Caribbana/Afro-Latino unite. We are ALL Black!

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Lobby

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