Is not pushing your child limiting their potential?
Instilling a defeatist attitude?
How do you go about teaching humility, competitiveness and gracefully accepting defeat?
This can be about anything really.

http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
instagram:@3rdworldview
Blessed be the Lord /who believe any mess they read up on the message board

His morals. He also needs to understand leadership, teams & teamwork, and that winning isn't a zero-sum game. It's a framework that he'll have to develop for himself, but I have to guide him. The world stays changing and trying to impose my framework 1:1 onto him would be detrimental.

i never did
and i played 3 sports in high school
my motivation was competition but no necessarily "winning"
my motivation was just getting better and encouraging my teammates to be better
winning for sure made things fun...but some of the best times i had competing cames in loses

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Navem nu, cuando sol
Tutu nu, vondo nos nu
Vita em, no continous non
Nos nu ekta nos sepe ta, amen

When the sun shades the ship
We sweat and life is not safe
To swim or to touch not
When we unite we hedge amen

you have the freedom to choose any path from the top.
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sometimes you win as a person and sometimes you're part of a winning team. but you have to get the W.

<--- Big Baller World Order

long as they know that - i'm good

♚♚♚♚

#BYLUG >>> https://goo.gl/1ooFp6

♚♚♚♚

screamin' mothafuck a 12 /
bitches ain't shit /
cops ain't neither /
they huntin' my people /

- i. rashad

♚♚♚♚

......I want her to fall in love with the process and prepare the best she can.
That's more important than winning or losing to me for her at this point. At the same time, I'm team "fuck participation trophies".
If you lost it means you either had a bad day or the other person was better. Do something different and come better next time or accept the loss and keep it moving.

Ends justify the means.

Second place is the first loser.

Losing sucks.

Crush your opponent

Etc

https://www.instagram.com/p/BP2t3EaBl-G/?taken-by=theshaderoom

I want them to learn about getting better and being competitive first. skill building is more important in the early years.

>Is not pushing your child limiting their potential?

I waffle on this. how far to I push mine vs how much they have to it themselves. I don't want to push them to the point of hating me or whatever thing I'm pushing them for, but I won't them to find that drive internally to get better.

>Instilling a defeatist attitude?

nah. I don't believe winning is the only thing that matters.

>How do you go about teaching humility, competitiveness and
>gracefully accepting defeat?

respect people first. if they respect people, that should carry over to those they're playing with and against.

as for being competitive, play your best and play for your team mates. there's a bigger picture than just what you did while playing.

for defeat, trying to teach a calm demeanor. be happy and celebrate a win, but not disrespectfully. don't dwell on wins or loses. there's always the next game. loses can help reinforce the need to get the skills up or just trying harder, listening better, etc.


>This can be about anything really.

I think my kids are too nice sometimes. I'm having a hard time with that. lol

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

I wouldn't want my child to feel like their always on the shitty end of a situation. Those early wins will accumulate into a mentality that can carry the child through many trials. Too many adults kill their child's spirit trying to protect them.

have a drive to win but not on some "win at all cost" steez.

Thy participation trophy shit tho? Nah yo...

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TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

What are we competing for?

That's going to make all the difference.

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Days like this I miss Sha Mecca

first you have to define what winning is for yourself.

winning can mean different things to different people.

He did shot put on the track team, but he knew he wasn't that good. So, he always wanted to go first. he said that way when he got home he could tell his mom "I was winning" which sounded better than the truth (which was I never had a chance).

and don't appreciate earning a win

i do think it's more important to emphasize the journey that takes you there, and respect for the other people on that journey with you

You teach a kid winning is the most important thing, then they will stick to challenges that they know they can win.

If my kid could dominate the JV team and take them to the championships easily or play Varsity which really challenges them, then they should play Varsity.


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"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

unless they are beasting in Varsity there is no damn reason they shouldn't play both.

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TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

i've never heard of that.

i know kids can get flipped up and down depending on the Vars team's need, but i've never heard of a kid playing both simultaneously. Practices are probably at the same time and games are possibly back to back.

-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.

players who were in 9th or 10th play JV against us trying to win. it never worked for them, but almost every team we played employed that strategy. i would say focus your efforts on varsity if you're good enough to be on the team. otherwise you're missing valuable practice time with the varsity team to play a squad beneath you, so to speak, just to help the JV team.

-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.

When I played HS basketball the JV game was first and then then te Varsity game was prime time. Most kids who dressed Varsity but got little PT played JV as well.

I'm old tho... maybe it's different now. If my kid can win a championship playing JV I want to see them prove they can do it instead of struggling to play Varsity or just sitting on the bench.

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TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

at least i think they did when i was in HS.

not football or soccer, though.

Do they even have JV championships? I don't think we had uniforms or real refs.

JV Football was like a practice scrimmage. Not sure about soccer.

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TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

which i guess you can just look at records to determine. don't remember if there was anything official, though, or if we just kept track of it ourselves.

but yall didn't have uniforms or refs for your JV games? what kinda bootleg ass shit is that?? haha

>
>but yall didn't have uniforms or refs for your JV games? what
>kinda bootleg ass shit is that?? haha

-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.

but football? Nah... no uniforms.

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TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

a kid participate in both games. Maybe it changes by locality tho.

-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.

If you start Varsity then sure, no reason to play JV.

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TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

Unless the purpose is just to work on one specific weakness or something...but playing JV as a 10th grader just to beast sounds really dumb.

-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.

granted his coach admitted it was a mistake to judge him as still being a JV level player.

<--- Big Baller World Order

I'm not doing a great job communicating tho.

My HS was 10 thru 12 tho.

Most smaller schools had a 9th grade team and then JV was 10th graders.

My point tho is I want to see my kid beast before I move him up to Varsity. I want as much playing time as possible so they get all the in game skills necessary

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TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

>My point tho is I want to see my kid beast before I move him up to Varsity. I want as much playing time as possible so they get all the in game skills necessary

-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.

I wouldn't hold my kid back if he was ready for Varsity but I damn sure wouldn't keep him off JV if he hasn't shown he can dominate at that level.

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TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

he's not benefiting from being on JV. If he's getting consistent tick on Varsity, being on JV in an attempt to dominate won't do him any good.

-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.

Always work hard but, know you will not win at everything. You don't always have to be the strongest...be the smartest.

I would want them to learn to be victorious, rather than simply being a winner.

Gaining victory is about triumphing over an obstacle, most of the time being your best version of yourself. It's an internal standard to live up to.

You can win a game or in other areas in life without striving to be your best.

If he or she learned that competition is a process to stive to be their best self, regardless of how others perceive their actions or whether or not they get a measure of success that would be more important. They would have learned resiliency which experts feel is an important trait to have success throughout life.

use not winning as motivation to improve while also recognizing that sometimes your opponent is just better. learn from your losses and keep putting in the practice and preparation to do your best to win next time.

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Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

Tbh, I'm more interested in how they learn to deal with losing. I see that fucking too many people up.

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))<>((
forever.

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"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

cause that sounded like a reach.

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TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

and winners and losers. I could be wrong.

This post could be about Sports.


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"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

not vice versa.
So Agent Orange didn't inspire this post.
I intentionally left it vague so I could get different takes on it.
It's mostly sports focused so far but that's cool too.

http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
instagram:@3rdworldview
Blessed be the Lord /who believe any mess they read up on the message board

but we all didn't think and talk that way.

Now that he is president and we see him and hear him talking like this all the time it's spreading and got other people talking like that.



>not vice versa.
>So Agent Orange didn't inspire this post.
>I intentionally left it vague so I could get different takes
>on it.
>It's mostly sports focused so far but that's cool too.


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"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

I find the idea of "winning and losing" applied to most things that aren't sports, games or other direct competitions a bit alien... strikes me that you can waste a whole human life stressing over an imaginary win/loss sheet only to realise we haven't made time to have any actual human experiences.

Life is not a competition... it's a life.

_______________________________

))<>((
forever.

Just kidding. I agree 10000 percent.

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"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

--
the untold want by life and land ne'er granted
now voyager sail thou forth to seek and find

in life your not always going to win no matter how hard you try. But if you tried your best you should still good about your self regardless of the result.

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"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

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Wake up, Pray! Go to work, Pray! Go home, Pray! Love, Pray! Eat, Pray! Live, Pray!

includes my 2 youngest daughters)

"i don't care if we win by 40, or if we lose by 40. if y'all gave it your best effort, showed great character (Christlikeness), and played with focus and attention to detail, i'm going to be nothing but proud of y'all"... the corollary is that we can blow someone out and if we don't do it the right way (in execution, or character, or effort), i'm not going to be pleased with it.

for my kids, that's consistent with what we been teaching them since before they even knew the word 'teach'.

another lesson all my teams (and all my kids) know by heart is:

"win by 20 and everything's funny" <-- i say this when we are getting cheated. in other words your excellence can be a buffer against unfairness. if you let shit get close, then slights or bad calls, and stuff like that can dictate the outcome. if you come out in every game tryna blow folks out (ie, MAXIMIZE every opportunity), you don't eliminate the possibility for foul play, but you limit it's effect, and make folks have to be more and more blatant to try and hold you down.

stuff that can have you damn near in tears if a W or L hangs in the balance can be a minor irritation or lightweight amusing when you up by 20.

those two philosophies go hand in hand and mirror our parenting style.

>Is not pushing your child limiting their potential?

yeah. but i push w/ permission. if they WANT to be good, and it's in line w/ their stated goals, i'm going to push them. case in point, my youngest son is a senior (super senior) and really, really, REALLY wants to play ball in college.

objectively his potential is anywhere from low D1 -> D2 -> D3. he works very hard, studies , etc., but he ain't as consistent as he needs to be. and not as bloodthirsty as he needs to be (especially when playing in our homeschool league where he is, athletically, and skills wise, the best player in the state, but not the highest in overall production).

i'll tell him, point blank, when he's not getting it done, or needs more. what his strengths and weaknesses are, what he needs to work on. how to deal w/ the nonsense (i'm only assistant coach on his team. head coach and other assistant be on some nonsense a lot b/c of some other dynamics).

sometimes it ain't what he wants to hear, but i try to give him what he NEEDS to hear.

my middle son played football (i also coached him in that, and was assistant on the the varsity team)... he did not have aspirations of playing in college.

but he needed some more extracurriculars for his college admissions, and we wasn't tryna give him phys ed credit for xbox, so we pretty much pushed him on the field his junior year. (he had high athletic potential as a child, but some negative experiences early on soured him on sports and coaches, and he kinda withdrew from that).

now, once he was out there, it was a balancing act. i made him work to put in at least the amount of effort to be a high school football player. figured out what he liked and didn't like, and put him in position to do what he liked. and he actually enjoyed himself, did well, and showed great growth as a player. more importantly, his experience demonstrated what sports can do if you allow it:

- showed the relationship between work and improvement
- showed the relationship between practice and time
- gave him a feel for his ability to overcome barriers he initially thought were insurmountable
- gave him an outlet for energy and aggression

although it took some nudging at first, he enjoyed his time playing, and can look back on it fondly. it also helped him from a social perspective.

i tailor my approach to the child, their stated aims, and what they seem to need and what strengths they have. and i'll heat check periodically to make sure we're on the same page as far as what they are putting in and getting out of the experience.

also, i will celebrate a reserve girl cutting off baseline successfully, or being in a proper rotation as much as i will someone drilling a three with a defender hanging off of her. i go out of my way to find and point out the little wins inside the game so that the overall W's and Ls don't have as much power.

well, when we started out, and when we were getting blown out. now we are in a prime position to win the state championship with playoffs starting this week. wish us luck.


>Instilling a defeatist attitude?
>How do you go about teaching humility, competitiveness and
>gracefully accepting defeat?
>This can be about anything really.

hopefully i covered those. but feel free to ask follow ups.

i firmly believe you got to know how to win and how to lose.


peace & blessings,

x.

www.twitter.com/poetx

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I'm an advocate for working smarter, not harder. If you just
focus on working hard you end up making someone else rich and
not having much to show for it. (c) mad

Bench warmers never ride foreign, so play the game
Never drop the ball, never accept a loss, get back up if you fall
And when your number called, you better give your all
I hope you give your all
You gotta play until the end
The only difference between a winner and a loser is a winner plays until he wins

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I only play the games that I win at -
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