..and how did they impact your life as an adult?

*edit: cleaning your own room doesn't count.


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

AND a latch-key kid (remember when that was a thing?)

point (to answer your question): ALL of them (cooking, cleaning, sewing, repairing small electronics, get on the bus and go pay this bill, you name it)

mom was famous for saying: you need to learn so you won't have to depend on anyone to do it for you

>..and how did they impact your life as an adult?

mom was right in terms of the depending stuff. i have found i do most household stuff "better" than the women i dated

also, the wife and I often bump heads relative to the boys because she was raised the total opposite (both parents at home, mom was a 100% traditional stay-at-home. the kids didn't have ANY chores)

>AND a latch-key kid (remember when that was a thing?)
>
>point (to answer your question): ALL of them (cooking,
>cleaning, sewing, repairing small electronics, get on the bus
>and go pay this bill, you name it)
>
>mom was famous for saying: you need to learn so you won't have
>to depend on anyone to do it for you
>
>>..and how did they impact your life as an adult?
>
>mom was right in terms of the depending stuff. i have found i
>do most household stuff "better" than the women i dated

did this ever cause issues/resentment with you or the women you've dated?

>also, the wife and I often bump heads relative to the boys
>because she was raised the total opposite (both parents at
>home, mom was a 100% traditional stay-at-home. the kids didn't
>have ANY chores)

was this discussed before having children? was there a compromise or plan in place that would address the way you'd both agree to raise your children in regards to chores/responsibilities?


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

we defintely did talk about kids in general and the raising of them for sure

but not at THAT level of granularity

neither one of us think the way we were raised is "right", per se, so the conversations have been about where the middle ground is that will define the rules for OUR house

our kids *do* have chores, with more responsibility for things as they get older with greater benefits/freedoms as a result of their success and consistency

likewise, there is a WHOLE lot more grace/mercy for failures (in my house as a kid compliance was mandatory and not meeting expectations was MAJOR)

..with the key being that you both recognize that there's more than one way to run a household (just depends on the culture/principles).




*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

Taught me independence and how to take care of my living situation.

--------------------------------

one half of the most dynamic tag team on the net...nappyafro's FROCAST!

http://www.frocast.com
www.nappyafro.com
store.nappyafro.com

..but very few people know how to maintain them.

hilarisad.


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

We had one of those old lawn mowers too


Hands still shaking for like a half hour after using it lol


If I have a son he's doing all that shit too. Make a man out of him

..long story short: i put off the responsibility and went out with friends, thinkin' that i'll just handle the chores when i got home. i got home in the wee hours of the morning, but knew i'd catch hell if it wasn't done before my parents returned from work. like an idiot, i butchered the lawn.

pops was PISSED.

i spent the next wkd tilling and replanting that lawn BY MYSELF. i never made that mistake again.


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

but it made me the genius i am today.

************************************************************

.

"Get ready....for your blessing....."

..and how/when did you learn to cook?


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

I guess I see chores as something you do for the whole family benefit. But yeah, we had to cook for ourselves if mom & pop stepped out for the evening or whatever...

I don't know if I was ever formally TAUGHT to cook....

But I knew how to keep myself from going hungry by the time I was able to turn the stove on and operate that joint safely lol...

I'd say I knew how prepare a proper MEAL by age 16 or so though.... and I could prepare a meal that was fit for consumption by others (the ladies) by college.

I'm a BOSS in the kitchen now doe....


"Get ready....for your blessing....."

..my fam is from the south, and while some traditions vary, learning to cook wasn't an option, it was mandatory.

in my fam, if you wanted to eat, you went through certain stages of development in the kitchen:

- learning prep/cleaning
- learning to assist (basically sous chef)
- actual cooking

if you wanted to eat, you were definitely falling in line with this order.




*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

i played sports year round so that was the only chore i really had.
i get a nervous tick when there is a sink full of dishes for more than a day lmao

the key to happiness is not being rich;
it's doing something arduous and
creating something of value and then
being able to reflect on the fruits of your labor

..and did you all share the same chores?


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

until his senior year of high school. i was too young to do dishes then but i had a cousin that lived with us while she was in college a couple years later....and sad to say lol i was the bratty kid that was like "why doesn't she have to do dishes too?" (now that i am older i bet she was like this trick here lol)....so we ended up alternating weeks while she lived with us lol

the key to happiness is not being rich;
it's doing something arduous and
creating something of value and then
being able to reflect on the fruits of your labor

..lol

you were on point, though.


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

the key to happiness is not being rich;
it's doing something arduous and
creating something of value and then
being able to reflect on the fruits of your labor

*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

I was assigned duties as needed per the child/parent agreement.

Probably the worst thing I had to do as a child was lotion my grandmothers feet.

imagine rubbing lotion on a brown leather jacket...

You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

>I was assigned duties as needed per the child/parent
>agreement.
>
>Probably the worst thing I had to do as a child was lotion my
>grandmothers feet.
>
>imagine rubbing lotion on a brown leather jacket...

..ok, i'm not clownin' (sorta), but seriously:

WHAT PART OF THE GAME IS THIS????

lol.


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

So many questions to ask here.

So many questions.

"Sean sparks like John Starks, nah, Sean ball like John Wall" - Rest In Power Forever Sean Price.

*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

i've been doing my laundry since i was like 9 or 10. i still rather do the laundry than have my wife do it. im very specific about how i want my sh*t handled lol

________
http://twitter.com/aehorton
http://instagram.com/aehorton

SMH

IG: amadu_me

"...Whateva, man..." (c) Redman

________
http://twitter.com/aehorton
http://instagram.com/aehorton

..no point in buying nice things if you don't plan on maintaining them.

unless you're lil' wayne (*cue champagne pour*).


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

if we were told to do something we did it
but there were no required chores
my mother kept a clean house tho
I guess I learned thru example....

and on the note would be a list of everything she wanted us to do around the house.

My typical chores would be vacuuming the living room and the dining room. Cleaning the main bathroom (my mom had her own in our last house in VA), washing dishes, doing the laundry (which included hanging the clothes on the line AND bringing them back in and folding them so I would have to wash EARLY), and watching my sister (if that's a chore which it was because she was hyper).

But it could change any day, so I'd have to read these notes she'd post on our door every morning because if we assumed what we had to do, and she'd come in and say "you didn't dust this like I said" we'd be in trouble.

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

this obviously set me up for tailspin when i moved out

..as an adult on your own?


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

the only thing i was told to do is to do well in school
everything else i had to learn/am learning as i go along

Did you have roommates when you moved out?

"Sean sparks like John Starks, nah, Sean ball like John Wall" - Rest In Power Forever Sean Price.

it didnt feel brutal, but looking back i see how i wasnt prepared for life at all
first time i moved out was for college (18 yrs) and i lived in the dorms with a roommate and that transition was difficult for me

keeping my room clean. ohh and let it be clear, if you did the dishes, that meant all of the dishes ( no soaking shit in hot water and soap), sweeping the kitchen, AND emptying the trash
that was the everyday shit, but what i hated the most, to this day....

FUCKING WOODWORK.-
CLEANING THE WALLS, CLEANING THE BASEBOARDS, DOOR FRAMES. with a bucket of hot soapy ammonia filled water and a rag.



now, when the 'rents said, " get your hands off the walls" it was for a reason not because she was PMS'ing.


from that experience, and living with a roommates that didn't have to do shit, i was well ahead on that life-skills front. but at the same time, i wasn't trying to be Celie with my roommates either. nahhhh. i was conflicted.

________
"promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind"-cl

BEFORE YOU JUDGE ME, make sure you're perfect.

"I'm hella Black, and irresponsibility ain't my culture. Yall niggas just gon have to own that as individuals"- Boo

..there's straightening, shuffling, staging, tuck & hiding (closets), etc.

and THEN there's cleaning.

if you haven't scrubbed walls, woodwork, & baseboards, then your house ain't clean.


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

no lie

..i've heard some tall tales, but what the fuck @ "fluffing carpet with a fork?"




*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

wasn't so much a chore, more so probably something to get rid of all that "nervous energy"

serious though, she (moms) often said that since she cleaned other people's homes hers definitely wasn't going to be more dirty than theirs

NOTHING was worse than digging up weeds in the yard with butter knives (we'd be out there for HOURS with our friends walking by clowning us)

..your moms was on that full metal jacket.

sheesh.


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

i was taught how to clean.....

do i actually clean???

that woodwork shit..... i force force force myself to do it at least once a year. on that same note tho' there aint three kids in the house either so needing to do it isn't as critical.


you really dont hear folk talk about woodwork tho'.
the few blk folk i've mentioned this to have looked about me sideways..... so i think its not a all inclusive blk folk thing...

________
"promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind"-cl

BEFORE YOU JUDGE ME, make sure you're perfect.

"I'm hella Black, and irresponsibility ain't my culture. Yall niggas just gon have to own that as individuals"- Boo

hate the work, but hate to see them dirty even more

thats that GOOD programming....well done ma! <--- I mutter that under my breath as I inhale pine-sol fumes

at first i was slightly resentful, but ive grown from it, appreciated it, acknowledged it, said thank you.

but real shit tho' I DO NOT use ammonia to clean at all. i'll have a slew of other cleaning products, but you wont see ammonia.

meanwhile, i've combined some shit in a bucket that i think could've killed me....

i may not have millions, but i dont have to live like a slob either or act like i aint have no " GOOD programming "

________
"promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind"-cl

BEFORE YOU JUDGE ME, make sure you're perfect.

"I'm hella Black, and irresponsibility ain't my culture. Yall niggas just gon have to own that as individuals"- Boo

Trying to clean the bathroom. Had smoke coming out of the bucket. My mom taught me how to clean, but she never told me not to mix cleaning products. Still not sure how I didn't die that day.

be in charge when she was gone

and do whatever the hell else she said

i'm a slob, but even my wife will admit - when i clean house???

I. CLEAN. HOUSE.

been like dat since i was lil' @ beastmode

#blacklife

♚♚♚♚

#BYLUG >>> https://goo.gl/1ooFp6

♚♚♚♚

screamin' mothafuck a 12 /
bitches ain't shit /
cops ain't neither /
they huntin' my people /

- i. rashad

♚♚♚♚

... although I used to get some pocket money for painting the fences.

My Mum would give me a spot of dusting or hoovering a couple of times a week... I don't remember anything too heavy though tbh.

_______________________________

))<>((
forever.

..chores are things you do to help maintain the house because you live there.

getting paid for services is a job.


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

once we move into a house:

in the summer
i had to mow both front
and back yard and we lived
on an inclined
and wash the cars


and the fall
raked the leaves

besides keeping my
bathroom and room
clean

.
.
.

these bums do chores when they feel like it lol
I don't mind tho
as they ain't the best at it
and I haven't made time to teach them the proper ways

I'm working on it tho

..without takin' the time to teach them how to complete them properly?


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

being responsible, accountability
they've been given everything

when we first started I showed them everything
I'm not demanding perfection because I'm not fully committee