"New Yorkers: Are you a bad friend because you won't meet friends in NJ?" Tue Nov-24-15 03:38 PM by Buddy_Gilapagos
Or the outer boroughs for that matter?
Of course your Jersey friends come to the city to hang out all the time but are you willing to go to NJ to hang with them?
Isn't it kind of crazy to expect one to one (I come to NJ for every time you come to the city) hanging out in the other folks territory?
Can someone really hit you with "How come you never come kick it in Long Island" with a straight face?
PS. I am not exactly sure what boroughs are the outer boroughs when I made this post and didn't feel like googling it.
Edit: This also could be extended to visiting friends from out of state. I know I see you a couple of times a year when you visit the city but am I really expected to visit you in Cleveland?
********** "Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson
1. "only if they live in Jersey City" In response to Reply # 0
b/c it's not far and it's actually pretty dope now
TONS of good restaurants and good bars for less money too and all near the PATH which runs 24/7. late at night it runs on the half hour so you can easily time your exits to/from jersey late nights
but anywhere else, fughettaboutit. hoboken full of over aged fratkid banker types and newark is far and anywhere on NJ transit is like going to the burbs. they know what they were doing when they moved
but Jersey City is a fun place to visit. i'm biased b/c i lived there but i go there now to visit my homegirl and i always have a good time
23. "." In response to Reply # 1 Tue Nov-24-15 06:45 PM by soulpsychodelicyde
> they know what they were doing when they moved< >
There really isn't anything else.
On edit: I'm probably the WORST kinda friend b/c a friend lived in JC (he's now in Montclair -- ugh!) and he would have to drag me out there kicking and screaming to visit b/c of that Holland Tunnel traffic.
3. "i always thgt outter borough mean all boroughs except manhattan" In response to Reply # 0
but what I wonder is, if that is actually the case, whats the difference between hangin out in say Newark vs BK or QU? you can get to the city in pretty much the same amount of time and some might argue that north jersey is closer to the city than QU BK or SI
5. "depends on where you live" In response to Reply # 3
>but what I wonder is, if that is actually the case, whats the >difference between hangin out in say Newark vs BK or QU? you >can get to the city in pretty much the same amount of time and >some might argue that north jersey is closer to the city than >QU BK or SI
newark is 40 mins from nyc on the path so that's a shorter ride from harlem to bk but a lot of harlem/bk friends don't link either lol
and most parts of bk you'd want to be in are not a 40 min ride
ditto for queens and SI? NOPE. may as well be jersey.
13. "ok makes sense...for some reason i ddnt thk it was tht far out" In response to Reply # 5
> >newark is 40 mins from nyc on the path >so that's a shorter ride from harlem to bk but a lot of >harlem/bk friends don't link either lol > >and most parts of bk you'd want to be in are not a 40 min >ride > >ditto for queens and SI? NOPE. may as well be jersey.
14. "jersey city as most is a 20 minute ride from midtown" In response to Reply # 13 Tue Nov-24-15 04:17 PM by teefiveten
and even less from world trade
so adding another 10 minutes shouldn't be a big deal to meet friends in JC i do feel folks are kinda crappy for that there's some good spots there
but newark is hella far and the last time i went out there a homeless dude asked me for change then tried to tell me HEROIN right outside the train station so yeah. lol.
50. "RE: Newark is 22-24 minutes on PATH from WTC" In response to Reply # 25
YeH the time of the trip isn't crazy. I usually say 30 mins tops because the PATH likes to slow down and stop for a few minutes and god knows why. But take away that aggy ass stop and it's a 22 ish minute trip.
"She was on that tip about stoppin' the violence About my people she was teachin' me By not preaching to me, but speaking to me In a method that was leisurely"
8. "RE: New Yorkers: Are you a bad friend because you won't meet friends in ..." In response to Reply # 0
It's almost never a one to one ratio of trips to New York vs. Jersey.
I don't really go the Jersey just to hang out but I will go to visit friends in Jersey for specific events; usually for special occasions like a new house/apt, a kid, a summer cookout, etc.
10. "Depends. Did they grow up in, or do they work in New York?" In response to Reply # 0
>Or the outer boroughs for that matter? > >Of course your Jersey friends come to the city to hang out all >the time but are you willing to go to NJ to hang with them? > >Isn't it kind of crazy to expect one to one (I come to NJ for >every time you come to the city) hanging out in the other >folks territory? > >Can someone really hit you with "How come you never come kick >it in Long Island" with a straight face? > > >PS. I am not exactly sure what boroughs are the outer >boroughs when I made this post and didn't feel like googling >it. > > >Edit: This also could be extended to visiting friends from out >of state. I know I see you a couple of times a year when you >visit the city but am I really expected to visit you in >Cleveland?
I think if neither is the case, you might be a bad friend.
Everyone knows NYC is the place to be, but I love my friends so I'm occasionally willing to pretend that's not the case.
20. "That's where I was going with that, but maybe I wasn't clear." In response to Reply # 16
>meet up after work. > >And if they grew up in the city then I can catch you when you >doing your family rounds in the city. >
If they grew up in the city, or if they work in the city then they should know better than to expect you to go hang out with them in New Jersey. Like you said, you can catch up after work, or anytime they are making their rounds in the city.
11. "I have an older cousin deep in Queens, who's a Jazz musician." In response to Reply # 0
He's been inviting me to performances (all deep in Queens) probably twice a month, for the past 5 years at least. I've not been once...& I feel guilty about it.
12. "yes, you're a bad friend." In response to Reply # 0
i just recently flaked out on seeing a friend down on the South Side b/c i didn't feel like trekking all of those miles on the L and i didn't want to pay for Uber.
i have other friends down there who i rarely go see but they regularly make the trek up North. that ain't right on my part.
but my ppl know 'i don't cross Cermak for no bullshit'.
same thing in the Bay Area - i won't cross the Bay for no bullshit either and that goes no matter which side of the Bay i'm based.
17. "Getting to JC or Hoboken is too easy for a New Yorker not to go." In response to Reply # 0
Anything past that, even Newark, I'd say is kind of a hike. But Newark has lots of cool areas most NYC transplants don't know anything about. Same with Montclair.
But when I lived in Plainfield I didn't bother asking anyone to come out to do anything with me because that really is too far.
just went to visit my friends and their 2-yr old out in North Bergen the other weekend...the last time I saw all of them together was in the summer when I was out there.....this time I was able to catch a ride which made it easier, but its only a 20 minute bus ride from Port Authority.
but even though its not that far off....it definitely requires more advance planning than going anywhere else within the 4 main boroughs (SI feels even further away)....I've gone to meet other friends in Manhattan, BK and Queens on a whim or with little notice, but I feel like a trip out to NJ requires at least 24 hour planning ahead of time.
22. "i wouldn't expect random drop ins but if i explicitly invite you to the" In response to Reply # 0
crib and you never come when i regularly come to your spot in the city? probably catch feelings
tbs i have close friends and even family members who have been to my crib like once or twice i use my location to put the onus on them to host stuff due to them being centrally located bringing a bottle >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> footing the bill to feed 10+ ppl then cleaning up etc
26. "This is some typical "Everything revolves around NY" BS" In response to Reply # 0
Nesw flash: Life exists outside of the five boroughs. You will survive a trip to NJ. You won't die of boredom. You may even learn something...and enjoy it.
I deal with this in my bowling club. There are teams from Massachusetts, Connecticut, NY, NJ, PA, Maryland, VA, NC, and FLA...events take place in all those locations, but without fail the NY groups want everyone to come to them without reciprocating.
Stop being self-absorbed and take that arduous journey to NJ to visit your friends....geez
____ Some will tell you that they love you but they've got an ulterior motive - Oh what a shame They will tell you that they need you but they've got an ulterior motive - Personal gain
30. "I live in Trenton, less than an hour from the GW Bridge" In response to Reply # 29
or the tunnels.
If you can't drive an hour (or less) to see a friend (but you expect them to go see you), you aren't much of a friend.
____ Some will tell you that they love you but they've got an ulterior motive - Oh what a shame They will tell you that they need you but they've got an ulterior motive - Personal gain
41. "you mentioned nothing about not having a car..." In response to Reply # 38
nor did you mention that your NJ friends did have one. How can anyone assume that to be the case? If that is what it is, I can see not wanting to make the trek all the time, bit you should still make an effort once in a while.
BTW, the friends that I spoke of in my response do have cars, just don't want to pay gas/tolls (like people from outside the city get free passage...SMH)
____ Some will tell you that they love you but they've got an ulterior motive - Oh what a shame They will tell you that they need you but they've got an ulterior motive - Personal gain
42. "Uh aint *nobody* going to Trenton. Sorry lol. " In response to Reply # 30
It's not just an NYC thing. Philadelphians aint goin to Trenton. Delaware people aint goin to Trenton. Even people who live in Jersey towns outside of Trenton aint goin to Trenton. Just make friends in Trenton and be done with it lol.
45. "Nothing in any of this has anything to do with" In response to Reply # 42
going to Trenton, it's about NYers unwillingness to leave the city limits to visit friends, but wanting everyone to go to NY to see them.
I've only lived here for a few months, and yes, the city is shadow of what it once was, but historically Trenton was a big factory and manufacturing town, abandoned as industry shifted similar to Camden, Bethlehem Pa, etc.
____ Some will tell you that they love you but they've got an ulterior motive - Oh what a shame They will tell you that they need you but they've got an ulterior motive - Personal gain
44. "Trenton is def not less than an hour from the GW Bridge" In response to Reply # 30
Especially during any kind of mild traffic condition. Trenton is built upon a lie...believing what they make what the world takes. Nothing in NJ's state capitol is exportable.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79616 posts
Sat Nov-28-15 08:32 AM
35. "RE: New Yorkers are such hoes about traveling. " In response to Reply # 27
Sure sounds like it in this post...
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
36. "When I used to live in JC, I didn't expect my NY friends there often" In response to Reply # 0
mainly b/c I didn't really hang out that much in JC, I would rather go to the city to begin with. But a few of them came through.
A 1:1 is tough but you should be willing to make the trek from time to time, esp. if your friends keep inviting you. When I met my wife she was in JC and I was in Brooklyn; it was a bit of a hassle to get over there but mainly just b/c switching trains/long train ride. But it was easy compared to e.g. parts of LI or deep in Queens or BK where you need a car.
43. "Jersey is so diverse that it really depends. " In response to Reply # 0
There's really no excuse to not to go to Jersey City, because it's super accessible. I honestly wish I had a reason to go there, but I don't have friends in JC like that
But as a former South Jerseyan, I realize that the suburbs complicate matters. Most New Yorkers don't drive, so the onus should be on suburbanites to get their friends from the train station to the final destination. That means picking them up -- not telling them to take Uber, unless the ride would be 5 minutes or less.
Now if the suburbanites are offering to pick you up from the station and you still won't go visit them? Then you're being rude. You should take them up on that offer at least once a year.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79616 posts
Mon Nov-30-15 09:58 AM
47. "lol... I'll never forget a 40 year old nigga in Brooklyn" In response to Reply # 46
looking over at Manhattan and bragging about never being over there cause Brooklyn had everything he needed.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
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