"Poll question: A cis bisexual woman married to a cishet man is in a queer relationship."
I thought that if all (in this case, both/2 people) people involved aren't cishets, then it's a queer relationship.
But I think I am wrong here b/c a cishet person is never a queer person, so, "queer relationship" is an inaccurate description? I think the correct phrase would be I am married to a *bisexual person, I don't know how that union would be described though...thoughts?
*Bisexual folks are queer folks so let's not even go there.
1. "not so fast, my friend (c) Lee Corso" In response to Reply # 0 Tue Oct-20-15 11:26 AM by SoWhat
> a cishet person is never a >queer person
i don't agree.
heterosexuals can be queer.
heterosexuals who are into fetish activity - like a breeder guy who likes to be pegged by a breeder woman, for example. or a breeder woman who's into cuckolding. or breeders who swing. breeders who dig leather. breeders who dig cosplay. and beyond. all of that is pretty queer activity and the ppl involved have been known to form communities around these acts.
3. "So, there is no difference between kink & queer?" In response to Reply # 1
>> a cishet person is never a >>queer person > >i don't agree. > >heterosexuals can be queer. > >heterosexuals who are into fetish activity - like a breeder >guy who likes to be pegged by a breeder woman, for example. >or a breeder woman who's into cuckolding. or breeders who >swing. breeders who dig leather. breeders who dig cosplay. >and beyond. all of that is pretty queer activity and the ppl >involved have been known to form communities around these >acts.
Ugh, I am not trynna be all verbose & academic or w/e but Idk how else to express myself here lol.
<<Mood...Poppy Okotcha in Look 1 at Ashish Fall 2016 ________________________________________
5. "You can be in a hetero relationship and still be queer..." In response to Reply # 0 Tue Oct-20-15 06:31 PM by Sarah_Bellum
One does not stop being queer just because the person you're fucking now happens to be of the opposite sex and cis. If you're bi, you're bi no matter who you're fucking at the moment. Happens all the time. ___________________________________________________________
7. "I get what you're saying & absolutely someone's queerness is not " In response to Reply # 5
erased by being in a relationship w/ someone who is not queer. I guess that's the question I am asking tho? Is it incorrect to claim to be in a queer relationship when one is cishet but in a relationship w/ someone who is queer??
I guess as a cis het woman, when I hear "heterosexual relationship" I'm thinking of a relationship involving heterosexually identified people. Like, if two cis bisexual women are in a relationship, I wouldn't call that a lesbian/homosexual relationship...even though it would appear to be a lesbian relationship b/c 2 women, you know? (not that it matters how I define it but you know what I mean lol).
But also, I think this kinda gets back to what you & SoWhat are getting at that heterosexuals can be queer...b/c like the relationship between a "straight" trans man & "straight" trans woman is a heterosexual one & a queer one. (Straight is in quotes not b/c I don't think trans people can't be straight, but just as a layman's term for heterosexual.)
<<Mood...Poppy Okotcha in Look 1 at Ashish Fall 2016 ________________________________________
12. "RE: I get what you're saying & absolutely someone's queerness is not " In response to Reply # 7
I would say if there is at least one queer identifying person in a relationship then the relationship itself is queer.
Of the bi-folks I know who strongly identify as queer, they almost always consider their relationships as queer. Now that may be because the typically date other queer folks (ex:bisexual male dates a bisexual female) but sometimes they partner with "straight" folks of the opposite sex but still identify as queer even though they appear to the outside world to be in a straight relationship.
I will say some people who love to be queer behind close doors wont identify at all if they're in a cis hetero relationship. They love that hetero privilege, but that's none of my business.
Then there is the third category who eschew all labels.
15. "I think a "queer relationship" implies all parties identify as queer." In response to Reply # 0 Fri Oct-23-15 01:21 AM by Moonlit_Force
But at the end of the day I'm not mad at allies (especially hetero partners of mine) repping if they get with someone lgbt.
Edit* What Sarah Bellum touched on is true-ish in my case. I've definitely dated more bisexual/ sexually fluid women than hetero women. None of the hetero women (nor I for that matter) would have called our relationship queer BUT... ... if we experienced any privilege that amounted from some people assuming we both were hetero it was diminished by as many (if not more) people assuming she was my beard and giving us shit for it.
16. "nope. not a cishet relationship is not queer" In response to Reply # 0
If both parties are cis and identify as male and female, it is a hetero relationship. A hetero relationship could do things to queer their relationship (queer as a vreb, here), like be open to each other sleeping with others, or others of same cis genders, or strap on analysis sex, etc.
my dad identifies as bi, and was sexual active in the gay community before I was born. He's only been in 4 relationships since I was born, all with cis women. He still identifies as bi, but he is in a hetero relationship.
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