"why do Blk ppl have so much animosity for Blk men?"
im not going to say this 100% correctly but im sure most of you know what i mean
the vast majority of dudes i know are AT BEST...benignly indifferent to all men...ie if a woman is homeless...they might feel a twinge & give her some change...if its a man hes got to be just totally down and out, laying in the gutter with a full colostomy bag before another person will give em shit
i was looking @ that lane bryant commercial full of chubbsters announcing how sexy they are and thats good. they are hot. VAST majority of people would be like YOU GO GIRL! positive re-enforcement.
let a group of fat black men get on tv & tell the world how sexy they are...NOBODY is gonna cosign that. it'd be a bunch of GET THIS FAT POS OUTTA HERE kinda shit
many ppl have told me all my life how arrogant & conceited i am, well, the reason that is is because NOBODY ever told me anything good abt me, but my mom. nobody ever told me im handsome or intelligent or smart or whatever. so i told myself & i was 100% right but its like...a damned if you do damned if you dont thing
if i dont believe in me and be confident...ppl will be like quit being a negative bitch abt shit, nigga! MAN UP!
if i DO believe in me and am confident....ppl like STFU you arrogant prick! you aint all that! who do you think you are?! kinda shit
its just annoying having to always filter literally everything and @ the end of the day be like yeah man...we're hot. we're smart. we are cool. nobody else says it. nobody else wanna hear it but we are.
2. "It's tough love. We're strong enough to handle this shit" In response to Reply # 0
A black man that gets all emotional and up in his feelings because someone called him "fat" or "stupid" or "nigger" etc. just isn't built to be a leader. And we need leaders, not crybabies looking for someone else to fix our problems.
6. "Not true, we just can't be weak about showing those emotions" In response to Reply # 4
>thats the whole problem right there. a man showing any >emotion whatsoever other than anger is immd attacked on some >you a weak bitch type shit.
Anger, when expressed as weakness, gets the man attacked too. Angry men without solutions to their problems are also looked down upon.
Passion, excitement, love, sadness, awe, enthusiasm, introspection, etc.
We just can't be weak about shit. I guess vulnerability is the only emotion that we really can't show, but fuck it. People look up to us. To you. What's a superhero look like being vulnerable?
9. "who looks up to you, dude? youre a superhero? where?" In response to Reply # 6
whats your super power?
do you think paying your rent on time makes you heroic?
in that case i submit that the "man" who continues to push forward despite ALL the animosity *and* is still in touch enough to say 'im weak, i need help, i need support' etc...is the real hero.
12. "for once this isnt abt me" In response to Reply # 11
IRL im the most emo, cry on a dime dude humanly possible & simultaneously i'd run over an orphaned infant for money. i sincerely give zero fks abt anyone or anything unless it concerns my family or money.
but im talking GENERALLY.
like why are we this way in other words.
i grew up during the crack era, listening to scarface and pantera and if i had to kill somebody know exactly how to do it & walk. the man known on OKP as binlahab is cold as ice for real
but that doesnt mean its right or good in the long term & i wish it wasnt that way
One thing I had as a kid was a lot of support from black folks growing up. Living in a segregated, majority-Black neighborhood growing up just gave me an insulated childhood, in a way. I got a ton of support just because I *wasn't* out in the streets doing dumb shit. It seemed (and still seems) like other (especially older) Black folks went out of their way to show their support. I grew up Black-power-y tho, so most of my heroes were black and fought to help other black people.
I've only ever felt isolated and put-down when I ventured out of my hood to college and the majority of people were non-black, but by that time my foundation was set so it didn't affect me much, save for not wanting to be around that kinda crowd.
26. "I wish it wasn't this way either" In response to Reply # 12
The charade is over, you are public enemy. But you grew up in an era with Public Enemy, you were told, you'll be ok. We can't be as free as we should because people hate us when were strong.
Taking shots in the dark/that's a bad call Going straight for your head/ gotta saw it off
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79560 posts
Tue Sep-01-15 08:52 AM
5. "i remember Ye saying this is why he screams about how awesome" In response to Reply # 0
he is...
Black men are told they ain't shit at an early age.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
10. "how is this not all rooted in slavery?" In response to Reply # 0 Tue Sep-01-15 09:00 AM by atruhead
most of us have opportunities to do better than our grandparents, we're first/second generation college graduates at best. my mom is the only one of 5 siblings with a degree, Im pretty sure Im the only one out of all of my cousins (not that a degree means everything, because one cousin is a nurse and she's balling)
but yeah back on point, the world has been telling us we aren't shit for centuries and while Barack's strides were symbolic we still have a ways to go before people really empathize with our plight
14. "Plenty of people (in the black community and otherwise) love us." In response to Reply # 0
I wonder how many of us are willing to hear or accept acknowledgement, praises, and love from *anyone* who wants to bestow it?
Is our first instinct to dismiss or mistrust praise given from non-black people? (On some "everyone wants to be black until it's time to be black" steeze...) Imitation IS the highest form of flattery after all... right?
As for love within the black community... I don't believe for a second your momma was the only person who recognized your potential, Bin.
36. "True. But does that sentiment represent everyone non-black..." In response to Reply # 34
...who takes and expresses a vested interest in us?
Is it representative of the white and non-black folks on this site?
Sidenote*
I tend to take issue with folks who feel culture can be monopolized. Yes we contributed this and that and credit should be given where its due, but once it's out there and shared? It's ours imo. All of ours. Its purpose is to be passed from one person to another.
19. "sometimes I feel like blk women secretly hate successful blk men." In response to Reply # 0
more specifically...
black men who seem to be more independent/driven/successful than they are.
OR
black men who seem to be more independent/driven/successful than the top males figures in their lives are.
I'm sure that I'm wrong, but based on personal observations it definitely seems to be true sometimes. more so in professional settings. it might be a generational thing too (most prevalent in the older/middle age set).
21. "I know a story that's the opposite" In response to Reply # 19
RE: sometimes I feel like blk women secretly hate successful blk men..
>black men who seem to be more independent/driven/successful >than the top males figures in their lives are.
one of my homeboys worships the ground his ex walks on for something close to 15 years now. she isnt with partially because he cant compare to her dad. now she doesnt *hate* him at all, but she isnt really into him now that they're grown up
-DJ R-Tistic- Member since Nov 06th 2008 51986 posts
Tue Sep-01-15 11:22 AM
23. "Not sure I agree, but a lot of it could stem from "daddy issues" on both" In response to Reply # 0
sides, for men and women.
Meaning, some women may resent men because their father wasn't there, or because their child's father wasn't there. And then, the men also resent men because their father wasn't there. Those who never had any positive male figure tend to not value men/males in any way.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79560 posts
Tue Sep-01-15 05:19 PM
28. "yo.. my mom dropped bombs on my principle in HS" In response to Reply # 27 Tue Sep-01-15 05:20 PM by legsdiamond
I went to school in the burbs, mom is from the hood...
she strolled up in that bitch and told all those white people they were scared of the young educated black man.
"back when he was young and small it was ok. but now that he is a young black man with an education you guys are scared. scared of him because you arent used to a black man in AP classes"
my mom was a fucking G.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
32. "done told yall repressing natural emotions isnt healthy and" In response to Reply # 0
prisons are full of folk who fell into that trap..and admit to it too
some say that anger etc is the only emotion men are 'allowed' to express socially..and that blk men are like that because 'they took everything else away from us so thats all we got is this anger/stance'
33. "Ppl assume black men are overconfident - ex. Kanye" In response to Reply # 0
I love Kanye and I notice that ppl hate his confidence. I didn't really know that black men never heard those things that you said. I assumed most black men are used to being adored and used to getting alot of attention.
One day while walking down L Street in DC, I witnessed this average white woman walk up to a good looking older black man and say, "You are teh best dressed man on the street.". He smiled and turned around and they locked eyes.
I thought to myself, "this random white chick is about ot book this fine black man." I realized that this man probably doesn't get that level of attention by anyone and hearing it from a white woman just boosted his self esteem.
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