but if men go cold on women i.e. just stop returning texts/email/phone calls then we're asses right?

Now I don't go cold on women I've dated more than once or twice (which is totally ok in either direction IMO) but I digress. My point being I tell em' it's not working out. Women it's a crap shoot with odds in favor of going cold right? You only get that definitive response if you make a nuisance of yourself it would seem.

*now if you're a hitter an quitter this ain't what that's about.

______________________________________

Everything looks like Oprah kissing Harvey Weinstein these days

------------------------------

50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

slash stuck between both worlds. Got one chick going, hell let's be real-- gone cold and another I need to let go. I got that lightweight "pay it forward" attitude, but that's no way for a grown ass man to be acting (or woman-- for you women out there doing that shit).

______________________________________

Everything looks like Oprah kissing Harvey Weinstein these days

not to say it isn't sometimes the best thing to do but you're still being an asshole by completely ducking someone you previously expressed interest in...male or female

http://www.youtube.com/user/gumzization
twitter: @BrosefMalone

---------------------------------------------------------------

If you can't understand it without an explanation

you can't understand it with an explanation

but I get it.

______________________________________

Everything looks like Oprah kissing Harvey Weinstein these days

That's why I kind of laughed a little bit when I started seeing the shocked and outraged articles about Ghosting. I realized ghosting was a thing you could do after a number of women had done it to me over the years. I'm guessing the same goes for other dudes. But now that dudes do it, it's some reprehensible problem.

we dont feel as used during casual sex, so we should be able to handle being on the bad end of a cold turkey situation better

when it comes to their romantic life

so going cold on yall is seen as not a big deal or on some "it's not like he cared much anyway" type shit

so that's where that comes from

all around, it's really FUCKED UP and cowardly thing to do

that is

once in a relationship

these other platforms now force updates and unintentional interactions

assuming most people follow their partners

so whereas the direct contact

phone, text, etc...

goes ghost

you still have an idea of what that person is up to and how they are doing

without having to directly contact them

$.02

---------------------------------------------------------------

If you can't understand it without an explanation

you can't understand it with an explanation

~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

emotion, at least in the early stages, will be held against us by the woman we're dealing with.

~
~
~
~
~
Days like this I miss Sha Mecca

>emotion, at least in the early stages, will be held against
>us by the woman we're dealing with.

so there's some "caring" there.


Did you not read what you quoted?

when we're clingy.


We're emotionally invested when we're clingy.


We're probably psychotic when we're clingy.


That's probably why "clingy" men get dumped/cold-shouldered so much.



:/

are not the same

I'm sayin'

n/m

______________________________________

Everything looks like Oprah kissing Harvey Weinstein these days

Let's face it, double standards exists. Men have them and so do women. As a man, you are expected to handle this type of rejection like a man and move on. Women are given more leeway when dealing with rejection. I think anyone who goes cold on someone or practices "ghosting" as some people say, is on some immature bullshit. Thereality is that those people give not 1 fuck about what they do tho others. They do what they do and the onus is on you to either learn to deal with it or suffer.

The first one I was speaking to for about 3 months. The weird thing was that we BOTH ghosted each other after the same convo. We apologized to each other a month later. We cool now.

The second dood I did not know prior. We were sitting next to each other; I wasn't trying to pay him any attn because he was one of those gothic emo black boys with permed and dyed hair. Not my type lmao. But he asked for my #, I stupidly gave it to him, and after he texted me and I replied once I just honestly forgot about him. And never texted again

---

https://twitter.com/MeeshUniVerSoul


welp

don't you have to actually have more than 1 text or 1 phone call to ghost someone?

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

few times, not a one-off phone convo.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

It should always be understood that the initial phone convo or date is when each person is trying to decide if this is worth pursuing further at all. Alot of the time, the decision will be a "no".

*******************************************************
i will not let finite disappointment undermine infinite hope
- Cory Booker

Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes, and at the end the Germans always win
- Gary Lineker

i didn't feel well and didn't want to answer questions about feeling like shit if they asked how i was. it had nothing to do with them. work got busy, i felt tired/sick and i had 3 doctors appointments within a week.

if you're into someone and they didn't reply to your last text, you can send another. it's not always personal. i may or may not text these two people again, because i don't feel like apologizing explaining. *sigh*

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

>if you're into someone and they didn't reply to your last
>text, you can send another. it's not always personal.

yes, you can send another text

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

...besides plain not feeling you?

She sees the text. I get it that she might be busy for a while, but a woman that does not get back to you at all sounds like a woman that you have to chase. Not a healthy way to start a relationship.

sometimes people don't get text

I don't think its chasing to send a second text.

it's real easy to take a text the wrong way too...

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

If I send a text and get no response, why should I send another one? We both know she got the first one, as this isn't the "I didn't get your beep/my battery died" days of the 90s.

On the flip, how long would you wait (hypothetically) after you send a text or leave a message?

if the text is "are we still meeting a 8PM tonight?"

and I get no response I'm texting one more time...

then I'm calling her ass, fuck it, I'm old school. I ain't afraid to call a woman.

now that may be considered chasing but that's just me.

I'm not worried about how I appear to someone who may ghost me

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

>if the text is "are we still meeting a 8PM tonight?"
>and I get no response

We had plans and she just ignored me? lol, aiight then.

In my teens and early 20s, I'd have called again, but since then naw. It's NEVER been worth it for me in the end when I've sweated a woman.

a woman could claim I was sweating her but 9 out of 10 times when they saw me out with the next girl they would sweat a nigga.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

or anything.

one guy lives a state away. we haven't even met. he took a few days to reply to my last text and said he was back to school (he's a professor and i'm assuming he got kinda busy). i was cool with that. he'll be here for thanksgiving for sure, if not before so we'll meet up then.

one guy i went on one date with.

i asked him how he was doing mid last week, he said good just got home and was going to go take a nap. before that i told him i had 3 doctors appointments that week and was trying to catch up on work.

so i don't think it would be crazy for them to reply to my text if i texted them again or initiate a text.

i get an email from a customer. this is my life during the fall and they come 24 hours a day. days are also shorter so i have a shorter window when the light is good to shoot. in the morning i have to get all my orders packed and ready for pickup by 10am. basically i have 12 hours day in the fall.

Or at least *that* man.

Personally, I'd rather date someone that had or made time for me, or date no one at all than to have to wait to fit into someone's schedule. I'm not saying it with negativity, but rather I value my time and energy just as much as you do yours. I don't want to spend energy on someone that doesn't spend any back on me, because that's a huge imbalance in the relationship, and from the start at that.

One of those saying that I've found to be true: "People make time for what they want."

______________________________________

Everything looks like Oprah kissing Harvey Weinstein these days

text or call to check on my well being. but, we're not in a relationship. so it's not that serious.

I'm ghosting... ain't got time for a sickly woman.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

nah i had two routine dental visits. exam fri. cleaning tuesday. monday routine yearly gyn appointment.

cause 3 doctors appts are now 2 dental appts and a routine pap.

it all i got was sick, tired, 3 doctors appts I would think you had an std.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

if you ask a question or something i'll reply. But, just making convo about nothing, shooting the shit just wasn't priority for a few days. A normal emotionally healthy person should be able to deal after 0-1 dates that's where they stand. Last week was exceptionally busy because i had 3 doctors appts and both people knew too.

either way, there are perfectly reasonable reasons you might not hear from somoene for a few days or week that have nothing to do with you and you shouldn't take personally.

so stop fucking lying.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

was feeling worn out and tired and stressed wasnt in the mood to talk about it with ppl i'm not even dating nor was in a mood to make convo about other stuff.

you already admitted you never get second dates...

and now we know why...

you have to actually spend some quality time for a minute before fading out...

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

there's a mutual disinterest.

guy is 42 and has a 24 year old kid, i could very well be dating and nobody would blink.

guy had 8 drinks in one night and lied about having a kid. asked me out again a few weeks later.

etc. i can't really think of a guy i really wanted to go on a second date with that wasn't interested.

and i've NEVER met someone IRL and went on one date with them. has never happened. this is just an online dating thing where things rarely turn into something more than one date.

this guy i went on 1 date with, i texted him a few days afterwards, he hadn't texted me. we talked a bit and he hasn't asked me out. so it's not be that putting the effort in. he probably just isn't interested and i will not push it.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

all of my tinder dates have resulted in 2 or more dates or them wanting another except this guy i'm talking to now who i may or may not go out with again.

i'm not on the site. i think it's a time suck. if i have a boring friday night and want a date i might turn it on, but i don't expect anything from it.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

i had my cc company do a chargeback cause i hadn't even logged on it months, turned myself to invisible while i was still paying and forgot about it. i'm not on any sites right now.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

...status updates and pics on Facebook. Only difference is OKP ain't Facebook and those dudes most-likely will never find this site.

I feel what she's saying about the 0-1 dates tho. This was supposed to be more about disappearing on people that one is more involved with.

that's a cool excuse for a dude you aren't feeling but how you gonna tell Facebook friends you couldn't text dude because you were busy while being all up and down the timeline posting photos of dinner and new shoes you bought?

maybe I read it wrong but it sounded like she was telling us she didn't have time to text dude.

no reason to lie to us. save those for them bamma ass corn stalkers

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

If y'all are just "dating" or talking on the phone then fuck it. You'll lose even trying to explain things to them. This applies to men and women. They don't owe you an explanation of why they ain't feeling you.

Not saying it doesn't burn when it happens, but I just stop calling sometimes myself. All it takes is one low-energy or annoying conversation to make me think I'm wasting my time and I move on.

or just the way human beings are.

and i AM an emotional man. take my word for it

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

and majority of the times we the ones that pursue them but it's all stupid in the end

Had to dead that. It's bullshit but it happens. But you don't have to put up with it.

______________________________________________________________________________

cscpov.blogspot.com

"There's a fine line between persistence and foolishness..."
-unknown

"To Each His Reach"

like it was 3 days...

I guess her new relationship didn't last

or may be she was busy, sick or a spy.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

This was my supposed girlfriend. Like we had the "we together" talk and everything. Dated before for like 2.5 years, and this was 6 months into our second go around.

Shorty was legit mad I deaded it. I can only imagine what she would have done if I told her I was seeing someone else a month and a half after she left.
______________________________________________________________________________

cscpov.blogspot.com

"There's a fine line between persistence and foolishness..."
-unknown

"To Each His Reach"

I had a girl laugh at me and say "oh, you act like we are dating"

I was definitely caught off guard, I said "oh, well damn... I guess I did, let me not hold you up any longer"

3 WEEKS LATER who calls me up with the sexy voice. I hit her with the "yeah...lemme call you back"

and I never did.

2 years ago I saw her at a bar when I went home to visit while I was with my wife. She saw me, whispered to a friend and left 5 minutes later.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

I went through that with a girl I was only kind of feeling and hadn't yet spent any money on, so it was no hard feelings. Once she re-surfaced (after maybe 6 weeks of no contact) I was absolutely down to reconvene.

Now if this had been a chick I had wined and dined, I wouldn't have liked that at all.

In that regard, things usually progressed pretty quickly. There was never any relationship rekindling tho. They knew I was crazy, I knew they were crazy so there wasn't much pretense.

i was seeing a dude who bragged about throwing his dog off a roof

yep i ghosted

i did not want to know or prolong his reaction to me bouncing
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

>i was seeing a dude who bragged about throwing his dog off a
>roof

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

>i was seeing a dude who bragged about throwing his dog off a
>roof

I remember thinking that dude saw the last scene from Juice in his head when he was fighting his dog on the roof. Probably thought the dog tried to shoot him a little earlier, too.

>yep i ghosted

As you should have, probably right after that convo on some "hold on, lemme call you right back"

walked away from him.

That's not ghosting because he ought to know that that kind of thing will rightfully scare away any woman. Hell, I wouldn't even want to be friends with a dude like that.

------------------------------

50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

More of a wtf laugh than a gaffaw. _________________________________________________________


DJTB YOMM

Had a dude decide he would like to run through a couple of stop signs with me in the car because he couldn't handle all of his emotions. I ghosted him.
Went on a few dates with a dude who informed me that he had a newborn baby he didn't see because "she don't even need me right now, it's not like she can walk or talk." I ghosted him right after that because he was a low life who didn't deserve communication.


___________________________________________________________


DJTB YOMM

Those are major violations/red flags/warning signs of mental instability and dangerous tendencies.

The ghosting that's mostly at issue recently is when the person wants to move on for reasons that aren't really scary or dangerous or crazy, but that person doesn't have the courage to admit to that.

What you're talking about are the totally justifiable, easy to explain reasons. We're talking about the reasons that will probably get eyerolls from the person you're ghosting, or even some third party you talk to about it.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

___________________________________________________________


DJTB YOMM

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

They pull out that teaspoon for a month or two....and then the barrels of crazy come bursting through the dam.
These are folks from my younger days before I could spot the crazy instantly like I can now. There are a lot of crazys out there.
___________________________________________________________


DJTB YOMM

I'm using this... thanks granny

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

He unexpectedly showed up at my house. Sometimes you go cold because some men just don't understand when you try to nicely tell them you're just not that into them.

You try everything short of being a complete asshole, and they still don't get it.

______________________________________

Everything looks like Oprah kissing Harvey Weinstein these days

Alternately, do you have that thing loaded?

That a serious violation right there. I don't even feel right stopping past the homes of people I'm cool with without calling first.

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at