Who Woulda Knew (c) Joell Ortiz and !llmind
--------------

Anyone ever have a lymphatic infection?
Let me tell you, I am suffering from one now (in my neck) and it's not what happiness is about. The pain is horrible. The medicine is the worst. Got to love being allergic to penicillin because these 1/4 inch long pills taste what I'd imagine death in medicine form to be like. Good news though, I'm alive. I tire easy but I am here.

And my voice--is slightly more than a raspy whisper. I have to go back to the doc next week to make sure that the infection didnt affect my vocal chords permanently.



Politics as Usual
------------------

My son sent me a text this morning letting me know that he has 12 more days until school begins. He stated that he doesn't want to come home and wants to live at the beach for ever.

I wanted to reply that was the sentiment of every working adult.
But I dared not ruin his vacation with the sprinklings of reality.


Bread
--------

I want this to be about money but it ain't.
I realized this morning that I will not eat bread if there's no twist tie on it. I don't care how tight you tie the bag with the sophisticated knots and sh*t. If there's no twist tie even around where you've already knotted off the bag, I've already convinced myself that the bread is stale (even if it isn't).


Trap Boy
---------

I remember sometime in the mid 80's my grandmother took me to get a notebook for back to school. She had finally decided on allowing me to get a $17 trapper keeper.

I was happy as sh*t...she was perturbed like a mug being that I stood on that notebook aisle for what had to have been 30 mins or more attempting to decide which one I wanted.

I chose this exact one http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2014/07/29/us/motherlode-trapper-keeper/motherlode-trapper-keeper-superJumbo.jpg

In my adult nostalgia---I'm going to order one off e-bay.


Game Boy
---------

So a couple months ago, I bought an Ipad mini.
I didn't see the purpose for it initially. As of late, it has served as my video game console (some game called "Oddworld; stranger's wrath has kept me occupied), kept me busy with tv viewings while at Starbucks (MTV2, HULU, Netflix, Comedy Central etc) and as a minute laptop substitute. I bought a Zagg backlit keyboard case off e-bay for less than $20 and it's served me well. I thought I would miss not having a mouse but touching the screen serves quite well in most instances--I also have a Pencil 53 stylus so when convenient I poke around the screen with that.

This is a horrible 5th entry. I ain't got sh*t else to contribute.

---------------------------------------
blog: www.wonderfullyhorrible.blogspot.com
instagram: Fishgrease
twitter: wooly_caesar
Podcast www.soundcloud.com/circlegang

1...

I am, literally, on the phone right now talking with the recruiter from the company that has been my top option of all of the ones that I have had. She called yesterday to make the offer. I countered. She's on the phone, coming through these earbuds, with their acceptance of my counter and talking to me about what she loves about the company.

Now, I gotta call everybody else and ask them to remove me from consideration because I got what wanted this go round. My prayers were answered and the stress that I had been dealing with was unnecessary because all I had to do was just sit and chill since, all along, I was covered.

Go for yours because I'M GOING FOR MINE! About to listen to "Stunts, Blunts, and Hip Hop" and lounge for the rest of the day.

Edit:
Well, sounds like you have to hit the beach more often. In the meanwhile, your boy better get his mind right because them school bells will be ringing soon.

---------------------------------------
blog: www.wonderfullyhorrible.blogspot.com
instagram: Fishgrease
twitter: wooly_caesar
Podcast www.soundcloud.com/circlegang

My damie, I was nervous for a second though cuz 7/31 is coming quick. School, as you mentioned above, is coming up quick. 16 year old girls ain't tryna hear that they can't get fresh before their junior year begins. And for damned sure, Bayerisch Motoren Werke ain't tryna hear shit other than "The payments are on the way."

I'll take a Moscow Mule though. Made with Tito's. Just have that drink on deck.

---------------------------------------
blog: www.wonderfullyhorrible.blogspot.com
instagram: Fishgrease
twitter: wooly_caesar
Podcast www.soundcloud.com/circlegang

uno:

horse pills suck.
I have strep throat and I have to eat a small meal with my meds or else I get sick. You know what the worst is? Taking these pills and still having an appetite. You're hungry but you can't really eat because you're sick and the medicine you're taking will make you feel even worse if you don't eat which brings me to...

dos:

I still been smoking. That's done me more good than homemade ginger ale, chamomile tea, and every other nausea remedy I've tried thus far. Main reason I can even eat this week.

tres:

all these damn retrogrades
first Mercury
then Venus

Dear universe:
it's been a very rough year thus far
please drink some Ack-Rite. As soon as possible.

cuatro:

Colombian me has been warring with American me again. I wish I could talk to my mom but she ran so far from the hood that she can't come back. The only other person I can think of to talk to is in South Florida. This is one time that I wish I could be the bigger person and mend that relationship with my neighbor/now ex-friend regardless of what she said to me because she would understand exactly what it is I'm talking about right now. Over a guanabana milkshake.

cinco:

I inhabit so many different worlds that I'm starting to wonder who is really who and when.

here for dis.

>uno:
>
>horse pills suck.
>I have strep throat and I have to eat a small meal with my
>meds or else I get sick. You know what the worst is? Taking
>these pills and still having an appetite. You're hungry but
>you can't really eat because you're sick and the medicine
>you're taking will make you feel even worse if you don't eat
>which brings me to...

The pills I'm on clean your body of all bacteria (good and bad) and as a result every time I take a sh*t, I have to drink/eat one of those probiotic yogurt things and drink a ton of water.

No matter what you do after you take the pill it still feels like it's lodged in your throat.

Get well soon, ma!
>
>

---------------------------------------
blog: www.wonderfullyhorrible.blogspot.com
instagram: Fishgrease
twitter: wooly_caesar
Podcast www.soundcloud.com/circlegang

1. Last day at the second gig!!!
I can't wait for next Friday when I wake up knowing I have the whole day off!
No more working 2 hours over to clean up what hadn't been cleaned since the last time I scrubbed!
No more starting my shift short on supplies and having to close down to go get them!
No more weeks without rest! Whoooooo! (c)Ric Flair

2. I had to banish my friend from all parts of my life except play time, which is next to nonexistent.
But he's not trying to go anywhere and I can't let him try to drag me down anymore.
I always thought we'd get out of here together, but he just won't even try these days.

3. Got a new, prettier and bigger tank for my betta.
I also got him some bottom-feeder roommates (ghost shrimp and a snail). But I think the snail's dead
(he was the only live one at Petsmart), and the shrimp are possibly terrified of the betta. He ignores everybody but.
I dunno. I'm sad because I think maybe he doesn't like his new home.

4. There's a customer that often calls me beautiful.
Not in a tryna-holla way, just in the way that I will often tell a man his beard's nice.
After high school, I figured I was beyond the need of ever hearing those words.
But man, it feels really nice!

5. I've got two new "relax yourself, brain, please settle down" hobbies --
learning ASL and adult coloring books. So far, it's working.

>1. Last day at the second gig!!!
>I can't wait for next Friday when I wake up knowing I have the
>whole day off!
>No more working 2 hours over to clean up what hadn't been
>cleaned since the last time I scrubbed!
>No more starting my shift short on supplies and having to
>close down to go get them!
>No more weeks without rest! Whoooooo! (c)Ric Flair

I remember working two job and then quittin one and having to remember what to do with myself and my new "free" time.

Congrats by the way !!!!
>
>2. I had to banish my friend from all parts of my life except
>play time, which is next to nonexistent.
>But he's not trying to go anywhere and I can't let him try to
>drag me down anymore.
>I always thought we'd get out of here together, but he just
>won't even try these days.

Find you a replacement booty-boo.

>
>3. Got a new, prettier and bigger tank for my betta.
>I also got him some bottom-feeder roommates (ghost shrimp and
>a snail). But I think the snail's dead
>(he was the only live one at Petsmart), and the shrimp are
>possibly terrified of the betta. He ignores everybody but.
>I dunno. I'm sad because I think maybe he doesn't like his new
>home.


>
>4. There's a customer that often calls me beautiful.
>Not in a tryna-holla way, just in the way that I will often
>tell a man his beard's nice.
>After high school, I figured I was beyond the need of ever
>hearing those words.
>But man, it feels really nice!

Phuck that, someone compliments me--we go together (in my head).
Oh, Fishgrease, those are some nice slacks. I've already married and divorced them before they can walk away.

>
>5. I've got two new "relax yourself, brain, please settle
>down" hobbies --
>learning ASL and adult coloring books. So far, it's working.

My hobby is writing. I need to do more of it though. The sh*t I do here on OKP can't even be called replying.

A couple of years ago my mom and I took my nephews on vacation. I think my older nephew thought it was a permanent new living arrangement, because when our waiter on the Disney Cruise Ship announced it was his last dinner with us, my nephew started crying and said he didn't understand why vacation ended. Then on the plane, my mom started talking about all the traveling she wanted to do when she retired. My 5-year-old-nephew, bless his soul, asked when he got to retire? I didn't have the heart to tell him...

Anyways, my five:
1: Accepted the new job offer. Feeling good about the bump in salary, title, position, and everything. I'm now 1 step removed from VP and I have a staff of people across 4 different countries. Life is about to be grand... and state tax-free. Hell yeah.

2: I'm buying a car. Cause the move necessitates having one. I haven't had a car in 4 years. I do not miss car payments and car insurance and gas but, what else am I gonna do?

3: Going to Rio next week. It's for work, so I'm not going to really have too much fun, but my flight back is on a Sunday night and I have every intention of spending the day Sunday laying on the copacabana. The calm before the storm. Then on Monday, I'll get back to the office and quit my job.

4: I really wish that during the last year I had a boo for my work trips. Some lucky man is missing out on riding my coattails to exotic locations.

5: Real vacation is coming up... 7 days in Aruba in between jobs. Don't no one email me shit, cause I ain't answering.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Green Mile is a movie where the magical black man wrongly dies and the white man who let it happen lives forever.

>A couple of years ago my mom and I took my nephews on
>vacation. I think my older nephew thought it was a permanent
>new living arrangement, because when our waiter on the Disney
>Cruise Ship announced it was his last dinner with us, my
>nephew started crying and said he didn't understand why
>vacation ended. Then on the plane, my mom started talking
>about all the traveling she wanted to do when she retired. My
>5-year-old-nephew, bless his soul, asked when he got to
>retire? I didn't have the heart to tell him...

HA HA HA...that was funny. At least you didn't burst his bubble.
>
>Anyways, my five:
>1: Accepted the new job offer. Feeling good about the bump in
>salary, title, position, and everything. I'm now 1 step
>removed from VP. Life is about to be grand... and state
>tax-free. Hell yeah.

I should've holla'd at you years ago. Heyyyyyyyyyy Boooooooo. You stay on the up and up. Were'nt we supposed to have seen a fight in Memphis years (i mean years) back? I've been doing sit ups. And I can count real good. (That's about all i can bring to the table right now).


>
>2: I'm buying a car. Cause the move necessitates having one.
>I haven't had a car in 4 years. I do not miss car payments
>and car insurance and gas but, what else am I gonna do?

Is this a driving job? If not. You get you a decent point A to point B car and say to hell with keepin' up with the joneses. I cringe at the idea of a car note or financing for that matter.
>
>3: Going to Rio next week. It's for work, so I'm not going to
>really have too much fun, but my flight out is on a Sunday
>night and I have every intention of spending the day Sunday
>laying on the copacabana.

So you just gonna make me feel bad that I'll be at my desk all next week? I've been doing sit ups and I can count real good.
Oh and my feet massages feel good.
(I'm bringin' more to the table by the minute).
>
>4: I really wish that during the last year I had a boo for my
>work trips. Some lucky man is missing out on riding my
>coattails to exotic locations.

You seent what I bring to the table---just have my tickets ready.
(My son, and girlfriend can fend fo'themselves without me. I got a new booski) LOL
>
>5: Real vacation is coming up... 7 days in Aruba in between
>jobs. Don't no one email me shit, cause I ain't answering.

That's right muhphuckas WE ain't answering sh*t.
Did I mention, I've been doing sit ups and I can count real good?

LOL

cause i think it was my first year with the Grizzlies.

>>2: I'm buying a car. Cause the move necessitates having one.
>
>>I haven't had a car in 4 years. I do not miss car payments
>>and car insurance and gas but, what else am I gonna do?
>
>Is this a driving job? If not. You get you a decent point A to
>point B car and say to hell with keepin' up with the joneses.
>I cringe at the idea of a car note or financing for that
>matter.

It's not a driving job, but it's in Vegas and that city is so spread out that I have to have a car. I was going to just get a beater to drive but bit the bullet and got approved for some financing. I don't want to be in the desert, in a city where the only people I know are co-workers, with a questionable car.


>>3: Going to Rio next week. It's for work, so I'm not going
>to
>>really have too much fun, but my flight out is on a Sunday
>>night and I have every intention of spending the day Sunday
>>laying on the copacabana.
>
>So you just gonna make me feel bad that I'll be at my desk all
>next week? I've been doing sit ups and I can count real good.
>
>Oh and my feet massages feel good.
>(I'm bringin' more to the table by the minute).

I'm all about foot massages. Your stock is rising.

>>4: I really wish that during the last year I had a boo for
>my
>>work trips. Some lucky man is missing out on riding my
>>coattails to exotic locations.
>
>You seent what I bring to the table---just have my tickets
>ready.
>(My son, and girlfriend can fend fo'themselves without me. I
>got a new booski) LOL

LOL. You gonna make me your side chick? I'm not down with that program. I'll only use my frequent flier miles if I'm the main chick.

>>5: Real vacation is coming up... 7 days in Aruba in between
>>jobs. Don't no one email me shit, cause I ain't answering.
>
>That's right muhphuckas WE ain't answering sh*t.
>Did I mention, I've been doing sit ups and I can count real
>good?
>
>LOL
>

LOL @ we. I do need a WE though.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Green Mile is a movie where the magical black man wrongly dies and the white man who let it happen lives forever.

>cause i think it was my first year with the Grizzlies.

That sounds about right. i can't recall why I wasn't able to come or who was even fighting that weekend.


>
>>>2: It's not a driving job, but it's in Vegas and that city is so
>spread out that I have to have a car. I was going to just get
>a beater to drive but bit the bullet and got approved for some
>financing. I don't want to be in the desert, in a city where
>the only people I know are co-workers, with a questionable
>car.

Damn WE in Vegas. *jumps in the wine glass shaped tubs and makes a beard of bubble foam*


>
>
>>>3: I'm all about foot massages. Your stock is rising.

LOL. Momma I made it. *throws down bags and wiggles pelvis*


>
>>>4: LOL. You gonna make me your side chick? I'm not down with
>that program. I'll only use my frequent flier miles if I'm
>the main chick.

She can get side chick'd real quick now that we in Vegas and WE got frequent flier mileage.LOL



>
>>>5:
>LOL @ we. I do need a WE though.

I fear you won't find a true WE in Vegas. Not saying it ain't possible but the city just doesn't seem like it promotes monogamy. But hell what do I know--stranger things have happened.
>

---------------------------------------
blog: www.wonderfullyhorrible.blogspot.com
instagram: Fishgrease
twitter: wooly_caesar
Podcast www.soundcloud.com/circlegang

tying it definitely keeps air out better but to each their own
lol

my five.

one.
inching towards pay day and getting excited about copping a new car stereo. i deserve it! also getting used to waking up at 1am to be at work for 2am. i was just talking to a coworker today about working with a bunch of black people and how that just makes coming to work easier. he agreed.

two.
its crazy seeing my son start to develop little boy mannerisms. the way he walks and stuff like that are more 'boyish' than ever. his personality grows day by day. its cool as hell. i still need a vacation from him. he almost pushed me off the edge this morning having a fit bc he didn't want to come inside to take a bath (he was outside with my dad when he started itching i suggested he take a bath and he flipped out smh)

three.
i have a piece of rice stuck in my throat. this is the worst shit ever and it happens way too often. i hate this shit.

four.
this sandra bland shit man. smh.

five.
editing a video i shot with my brother yesterday. its always hard to start i've had these files open for a minute and don't know what to do yet. but once i get started i'm sure its gonna be dope. we got some really good shots in.

www.royallegacy.org

For Real (Official Video):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBRoCPO8esE

>tying it definitely keeps air out better but to each their
>own


The thing is...I tie the bag in a knot but I still put the twist tie on it. Others in my house, discard the twist tie and then wonder why i won't eat the bread.

I'm truly weird.
>
>my five.
>
>one.
>inching towards pay day and getting excited about copping a
>new car stereo. i deserve it! also getting used to waking up
>at 1am to be at work for 2am. i was just talking to a coworker
>today about working with a bunch of black people and how that
>just makes coming to work easier. he agreed.

i work w/ a bunch of black people that act like everything white people stereotype and other black people are embarrassed by.

Yet, I've been here for 10 years. I guess I like it too.

>
>two.
>its crazy seeing my son start to develop little boy
>mannerisms. the way he walks and stuff like that are more
>'boyish' than ever. his personality grows day by day. its cool
>as hell. i still need a vacation from him. he almost pushed me
>off the edge this morning having a fit bc he didn't want to
>come inside to take a bath (he was outside with my dad when he
>started itching i suggested he take a bath and he flipped out
>smh)

swift chops to the THROAK muscles treat all bad behavior.


>
>three.
>i have a piece of rice stuck in my throat. this is the worst
>shit ever and it happens way too often. i hate this shit.

Damn.


>four.
>this sandra bland shit man. smh.

wasn't she so freaking beautiful? Like if she worked in my office---I know I'd be crushin' on her tall tail.

But alas, reality has taken her from ever being even a fantasy.
The whole situation is sad. I haven't been keeping up with the case as I normally would simply because I'm tired of feeling angry, hurt and helpless.

I need a break from all things in the current event timeline of life. I want to pet a puppy, hug an infant, change an elderly woman's tire. I need something to feel good about.
>
>five.
>editing a video i shot with my brother yesterday. its always
>hard to start i've had these files open for a minute and don't
>know what to do yet. but once i get started i'm sure its gonna
>be dope. we got some really good shots in.

Get it boo.
>

---------------------------------------
blog: www.wonderfullyhorrible.blogspot.com
instagram: Fishgrease
twitter: wooly_caesar
Podcast www.soundcloud.com/circlegang

Universal Studios Orlando - IM ON VACAY!!!!!!!!! Tomorrow, we hit up the theme parks. THIS SHIT IS EXPENSIVE!!!! OMG! But, at least we don't have to sit through any stupid ass timeshare presentations. Next time we are here though, we are booking through our travel agent homie.

Islands of Adventure - I'm eating at Joe's tonight!!!!! I love Joe's Crab Shack. Its the best. I love me some crab. And, the atmosphere is cute.

Magic Kingdom - Thanks to Nerdist, Universal Orlando will be my spot for at least the next 5 years!!!! A video game theme park. Dude, sign me up!!!!!! I know its not complete for a few years, but I'm excited. Between Star Wars at Disney, and King Kong and Nintendo at Universal. This will be our in country vacation spot with the family for the next 5-7 years.

Epcot - I'm really enjoying being able to reconnect with the hubby. I love spending time with him just me and him. No mom in law, no baby girl. Just us. Its great!!!!

Disney Hollywood Studios - Sometimes you have to just take time out to recharge. Understand that life should not be about work, work and more work. Spend time with the ones you love.

"We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents" - Bob Ross

"I'm wearing a MSU Tshirt because I went to MSU, you are wearing a UM Tshirt because you went to Walmart!" -unknown.

http://bjsquirrelchronicles.blogspot.com

http://lsrules.podomatic.com/entry/2015-07-24T00_00_00-07_00

I have a 400 year old chip on my shoulder.