For the married couples or couples in long term relationships, do you have joint accounts with your spouse? Do you have one shared account or three accounts total (you each have your own + the joint account)? Have your experiences with joint accounts been good or bad? What are the advantages and disadvantages of joint accounts in your opinion?

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Falcons, Braves, Bulldogs and Hawks

Geto Boys, Poison Clan, UGK, Eightball & MJG, OutKast, Goodie Mob

It's been easier for me to write her checks. She doesn't want to see what I spend (it'll stress her) and I don't want to curb my spending to her style.

It works for now. But it's all been about communication and common goals. And that works for us.

For now.

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“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

We've never had separate accounts since. I don't understand why couples feel the need to keep separate bank accounts.


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"Where was the peace when we were getting shot? Where's the peace when we were getting laid out?
Where is the peace when we are in the back of ambulances? Where is the peace then?
They don't want to call for peace then.

I'm money conscious, just not to her level, but watching each other's pennies would add conflict. Even with the understanding.

Just one of the reasons why someone would keep a separate account.

We make joint purchases and have joint goals, but that day to day money is kept separately.

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“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

So all you see is that one lump payment.

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"Where was the peace when we were getting shot? Where's the peace when we were getting laid out?
Where is the peace when we are in the back of ambulances? Where is the peace then?
They don't want to call for peace then.

Home on the weekends. But the money I spend on the road is a sanity plea.

Last thing you want is a man on 90% travel just sitting in hotel rooms all the time watching pennies. Recipe for trouble.

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“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

different relationships work differently. Some prefer to keep their own personal spending money separate for whatever reason and that's their right. Finances is a big deal in relationships so I think people should discuss what they are comfortable with and what they wish to do...a joint account makes sense for paying household bills and larger joint purchases...but if I want to surprise my husband with a gift, I dont' want to have to take out cash and buy it NOR do I want it to show up on a bank statement...if I want to treat myself to $50 bikini waxes, and I got the money to do so, I don't want my husband questionning why I am spending $50 on xyz...at the same time, he shouldn't have to explain to me those $250 sneakers he's buying with his money...

so if a joint works for you, that's cool...but that's not everyone's reality and people should do what works best for THEM.

I'm currently dealing with a case where the ex wife brought the husband's VISA history to court. Apparently when things were cool, the couple demanded that the husband's VISA was linked to the wife's bank card (which gave her access to his account information online). Not sure why they did that when she was given a secondary VISA on that account. In any case, the husband closed off this secondary VISA thinking that would end her access. They forgot all about his primary VISA being linked to her bank card. Now she's going to town on him in court with regard to his VISA spending.

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"no manure, no magic"

we have have our own checking and savings. she does have access to one of my checking accounts, but her name isn't on it.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

Don't do this!!!

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"no manure, no magic"

we just went to each bank and put the other's name on the account. neither of us are big spenders so we never quarrel over money. 1 person manages all the bills and makes decisions about what gets paid when (me). if he's making a somewhat large purchase, he'll usually text me and say 'which account'?

but we broke so...lol

maybe we'll do things differently when we are out of the EveryPennyCounts phase of our lives...but right now, we gotta pool everything

d

But after a while, you just get sucked in. I think it's just a matter of getting older and more vested with your wife/girl. We pay bills together, it only makes sense. I'm past the days of trying to flex and be that dude. I'm a middle aged black man with a family. If I need something I get it, my wide does the same. We take vacations together, go on date night together, go to functions together, etc. It works greatly for us. I don't wanna go back.

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Nigga, if the shoe fits, then buy the matching purse!" Rass Kass

I htink maybe you have reached a level of financial security that makes it work for you. Less money in the household requires more communication about the finances to make a joint account work.

For me it's never been about flexing or masculinity etc. it's more so the concern that 1 mistake can fuck everything up and those mistakes are easier to avoid if both people aren't dipping in the same pool of $. Essentially, if you are living check to check it's a terrible idea. Once you get beyond that the possibilities open up.

So I feel compelled to check with her sometimes to make sure all is good. She also pays all of the bills, so she is in essence the CFO of our house. I'm just a cheap bitch to be honest so unless she goes ham, we'll always be above water.

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Nigga, if the shoe fits, then buy the matching purse!" Rass Kass

i'm CFO, he's cheap. so we're always gonna be good LOL

i'm sure there's an exception somewhere, but nah

I like to spend also but I will alway ensure the bills of the home are paid first. So it makes more sense for her to transfer a monthly sum to my account on pay day. This has worked well for a few years.

It's good to be able to transfer money into each other's accounts but sharing one pot...asking for trouble

We got a joint when we were living together about 2-3 yrs in before we got married. He was hesitant at first but it all worked out.

plus, you guys are awesome so you don't count.

Two checking, one joint and one savings.

I could never have a joint account with someone who could bounce with the quickness.

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TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

:)
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. . . If I have something to say when there is a reason involved, I am perfectly willing to talk. Katherine Hepburn

manage our money separately but there are also no secrets - she has all my account info and is on the account and vice versa.

We also have a joint savings account but that is for long term savings so we aren't spending out of that account anyways.

Whatever works best for you is best though, and don't let anyone else ever tell you otherwise.

One only you can touch
one only they can touch
one BOTH of y'all pay into to pay bills.

Possibly the same on the Savings side, too.

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Get Out The Room!
http://getouttheroom.podomatic.com
@fakewilliamkatt

"You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do!" - Olin Miller

we put all our food, household wares, and other shared expenses (restaurants, movies, etc) on the shared credit card and we each pay half. It works cause we both make ~the same annually for now. For the non-credit card bills, rent, utilities, etc, i pay those and she transfers me her half. I begged her to let me cover more cause I make a little bit more, but she has always had a "we're in this together. we share the bills" mentality, so it works better for us this way.

Sometimes when she's not noticing, I pay for nights out on my own credit card, but thats harmless. It makes me feel better. I bet she does the same.

Even when we were dating she was very hesitant to let me play Mr. Chivalry. She always liked sharing expenses.

It works for us. If/when we get married, I would be surprised if we opened a joint chequing account for mortgage and whatnot, but it seems to work this way and we each have our privacy. So not sure in the modern age that that's even necessary.

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"I *always* quote myself. I'm the only reliable source on *most* subjects" - OKP's First Lady of Knowledge, Janey