1. "I got the other job!" In response to Reply # 0
And it was right on time. Remember, I had 1.5 jobs with the first place. Well, the .5 job is pretty much like my old job, which I hated with a passion. And every employee I've introduced myself to has confessed that they hate it and are trying to find something else immediately. Thankfully, my last day there is next week.
Then I start at the other place, where the employees literally cheered when I walked in for the interview.
Things have been going so well for me, I feel like I'm bragging. I also feel like I should share because I'm kind of the Misery Chick and only seem to write about the down sides of my depression. But I hope this shows that if you endure, the sun will come out again.
I've prayed a lot. Angry gratitude, mostly, and for the strength to endure and for perspective. I look at prayer as a practice in mindfulness and not as a vending machine request form. Maybe my faith isn't strong enough to believe God will deliver specifics like that. But I've just been trying to pray that I don't get in my own way and instead allow myself to go down the path even if I don't *get* it.
My thing now is battling a quiet fear of losing all this goodness that I don't deserve. I feel like I'm clinging to it too hard, because I'm gripping with all my strength.
20. "Now that you said that" In response to Reply # 6
I realize that I've been feeling like I haven't done anything to be proud of yet. Like I'm waiting for an appropriate time to be proud. Got more thinking to do today. Thank you.
99. "I'm so much smarter than that." In response to Reply # 39
gimme a little credit. I HOPE she starts paying for shit. Treating me all good. But my mentality will be the same as it ever was. Sometimes I pay for things, sometimes she does.
--
"You can't beat white people. You can only knock them out."
13. "LOL i do not want to be hauling stuff on a bike at 3am" In response to Reply # 11
at least not for this gig but i do want to be able to ride to gigs again. most of the gigs i have don't require me to bring more than a backpack w/ my stuff. this weekly requires everything and there's no way i'd get it on a bike-even one that's trailer-ed up
19. "my thighs would be off the chain" In response to Reply # 16
i'd be breaking melons with them. LOL.
nah b, i'd be so winded. i left those days behind when i went digital. 3/4 record bags up and down subway stairs had me wiped before i even got to the spot
93. "get another bike girl! " In response to Reply # 5
this weather and (most) of these roads are yours for the taking... pay at max $150 for something that fits your steeze on CL and then you end up paying modification costs regardless if it's fresh or recently thugged out on....
I'm so over MTA life. All these transplants and lazy bastards can have it. It's about to be like The Warriors in there and I'm sooo good for when it gets hot
"i wanna hug all u idiotic bastards & then set you all on fire" -Bin
7. "Any successful organization needs a retention policy. " In response to Reply # 0
I received an offer, I'd prefer to stay. I asked for more money with my organization, they do not have a retention policy. I may or may not get more money, I'll make my decision independent of a lot of that. But without a retention policy, any organization can just be plucked of its talent.
------ “There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus
14. "If you not getting LEDs then you're doing it wrong. CREE brand from HD i..." In response to Reply # 9
a good choice.... You MIGHT have to replace any dimmer switches that you have though....old dimmers are compatible with LEDS...they'll work...but will fck up the circuitry of the bulb and cause humming....
"Seasons may come and your luck just may run out, and all that you'll have is some memories..."
27. "i wouldn't even think of buyin' bulbs online..just because they're" In response to Reply # 25
fragile.
I usually go to this brick and mortar store http://www.batteriesplus.com/ because it's right around the corner or I hit Lowes/Home Depot but never online.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79560 posts
Wed Apr-15-15 09:05 AM
26. "man, I'm already walking around the house screaming" In response to Reply # 18
these niggas ain't worthy!!!
I had a dream the night before I found out that I was at a library slapping books out of peoples hands because the librarian was trying to plant seeds of doubt in my daughters head.
37. "My dad says he wants to go to Europe" In response to Reply # 0
I felt super bad I wouldn't be around for his birthday this week and he sounded a little down about his birthday so I asked him if he could do whatever he wanted for his birthday (or life in general) what would he do. He said he would like to go to Europe.
He is 75 and has never been.
I'd like to make that happen in a way that a makes sense. It would be easy to say we can plan to do that next summer but I am not sure he would be in the shape to do it next summer.
I really really want to make this happen for him and I am mad that iI didn't make it happen sooner.
********** "Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson
"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're
i travel w/ my mom and she's up there and she can't walk for crazy long distances (though she still pushes)
and tours help
especially if he hasn't been. he wants to hit all the sites and a tour is pretty easy peasy. some allow more free time than others
i did one with her many years ago and when we decided to return to have a week in paris, we still booked through the touring company but we just booked the flight + hotel. she spoke french and we'd both been in paris and we were meeting up with reg who spent a month out there the year before. the tour company put us in a good hotel in a convenient area. it was great.
there are low-mid-high level touring companies. i forget which one we used but i would use it.
43. "Good stuff. Let me know if you remember the names of the tours. " In response to Reply # 41
>i travel w/ my mom and she's up there and she can't walk for >crazy long distances (though she still pushes) > >and tours help > >especially if he hasn't been. he wants to hit all the sites >and a tour is pretty easy peasy. some allow more free time >than others > >i did one with her many years ago and when we decided to >return to have a week in paris, we still booked through the >touring company but we just booked the flight + hotel. she >spoke french and we'd both been in paris and we were meeting >up with reg who spent a month out there the year before. the >tour company put us in a good hotel in a convenient area. it >was great. > >there are low-mid-high level touring companies. i forget which >one we used but i would use it. > >
********** "Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson
"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're
Last year or so has forced me to re-examine alot of friendships. Found out some people I vented to had my business out there. One of the downsides of living in a small city I guess. Was disappointed initially but really glad it happened. Showed me that I share too much with people who haven't proven themselves worthy of trust.
National Siblings Day came around. My baby sister posted a photo of me and her from a couple of years ago. it was the last time I was around all of my siblings at once.
I looked horrible. just tired, out of it, out of shape, out of life. I really didn't want to be photographed (I generally don't, but then, especially). I would have asked that to been scrubbed from the record. Now, I'm glad it exists. Just to see how far I'd fallen.
Nowadays, I'm on that #FUCKDATGOLFWANG like shit. Health back in order. And the anticipation of getting all the way back got a dude grinnin.
I'm about to hit the road this year and see some people. Like I've been meaning to.
47. "** CONFESSION WEDNESDAY **" In response to Reply # 0
My vacation is 11 days away And I am so close to telling people to fuck all the way off At work Bitch ass fuck boys
We have a very weird dance When it comes to money Asking questions but not asking Wanting to help and provide advice Without being intrusive I feel a little uncomfortable being so open About my financial situation But it's the truth and I have nothing to hide
He might cancel his trip To spend some time with me He better lol I have a feeling things are not ok Hence all the recent trips to NY I want to know that he is ok And I am nosey lol
I really hope I can find someone To watch my cat when I am gone I really don't want to board him for two weeks The thought of him being in a cage that long Makes me want to cry
50. "this gotdamn cat keeps waking me up 45 minutes before my alarm" In response to Reply # 0
and he don't even want nothing! it's pissing me off and making me cranky as hell i just want one good night of sleep
my work commute takes me pass a rock quarry (yes a rock quarry for real) and i look forward to seeing this fine young tender who works there on my way home. it all started when i spotted him changing his shirt at the back of his car. lawd have mercy...i just be lookin' tho
59. "he hasn't adjusted to the time change lol" In response to Reply # 50
>and he don't even want nothing! >it's pissing me off and making me cranky as hell >i just want one good night of sleep > >my work commute takes me pass a rock quarry (yes a rock quarry >for real) and i look forward to seeing this fine young tender >who works there on my way home. it all started when i spotted >him changing his shirt at the back of his car. lawd have >mercy...i just be lookin' tho > >
The news was like a punch in the gut. I know he was under a lot of pressure and scrutiny, but never thought he'd take his own life. I feel for his wife and girls. I can't imagine what they're going through right now. But it's not every day a Michelin-starred chef reaches out to you and offers you a job. And shows off your accomplishments to his family and friends like a proud papa. He was definitely one of the nicest chefs I've had the pleasure of working with, and I'm thankful for the opportunity he provided me. The world lost a truly innovative mind yesterday. I hope his soul finds the peace he needs. And I wish for comfort and peace to his wife and girls.
###
But this news makes me realize something. People have been commenting on how strong I've been these past few months. I've always replied that I have no choice, and being strong and keeping going is all I can do. But I guess there IS always another choice. And Chef decided to take it. While 2015 has been one of the hardest years I've faced thus far, I have the faith things will get better. I hope to never find myself in such a dark corner of despair that I lose hope and think taking my own life is the best way out. #justkeepswimming
It's a weird time to go on a vacation given all the recent events. But I'm just gonna go and enjoy myself. And plant seeds before I leave that will hopefully make things easier when I return.
__________________________
Just tryna do the best that I can with what it is I have...
...last sunday as i was carrying my son out of the bathroom afrer a bath (hes getting big but i carry him out so as to not get cat/dog hair on his freshly cleaned feet...) he hit his head right above his eye on the door and was gushing blood. i was so distraught. he stopoed crying shortly after. he saw how upset i was and said "dont worry mommy. dont worry." i cried. that kid is amazing.
...i load all types of music on my phone to listen to while i work and listen to the same fally ipupa and fabregas metis noir albums over and over. color me obsessed.
...the dream i had last night/this morning was so FULL. not sure how else to explain it. my mother was in it. other family members on her sife of the fam were in it. jenifer lewis was in it. i was pregnant and frying fish in it. a lotta other stuff happened in the dream too but those things stood out. i woke up feeling like i was legit back from someplace and i wish i could go back.
...i just want to stop worrying about money. i mean i guess one never stops unless they hit the lotto and keep life simple but this broke shit really be hurting my feelings. and getting more hours is out until we find daycare for the kid.
You are getting more in touch with your spiritual side which is why you are seeing ancestors. Fish can symbolize food for the soul
You need some motherly influence in your life right now because you are feeling confused or unsure about something. You need some straight talk about the ideas you are about to "birth" or move on
Yemonja is talking to you and she is the universal mother.
110. "this is more like it." In response to Reply # 106
thank you for that. sounds about right given what's going on in my life right now i just wish i knew where to turn for that 'motherly guidance' even when my mother was alive we weren't close in that sense
*sigh*
i'll figure it out...
jenifer lewis would make a great motherly guide btw i just know she would (in my dream she was actually giving me advice lol)
87. "RE: ** CONFESSION WEDNESDAY **" In response to Reply # 0
My hubby is going through changes at his job. I got a feeling its going to be a change in job very soon. They are doing some re-org at his job and he basically got his boss' job. But, I don't think it comes with a pay raise, but it definitely comes with some headaches.
So, he's getting offers from other places. I am happy for him either way. Whatever he chooses is cool with me.
I am trying to get our house spotless before the 'rents come in on Friday. Carpet just cleaned...I love it!!!! I just gotta get the bathrooms cleaned and the guest room all spic and span and I'm good. Being a housewife and mom is an awesome job. You are severely underpaid though
I'm dealing with my injuries, but I'm hating the lack of workouts. I can't even get on the elliptical. I have got to go ahead and get with this chiropractor asap because this sitting around shit is for the birds.
My daughter is liking preschool prep with the other kids. She made us the cutest strawberry painting yesterday. (I'm such a mom!)
"We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents" - Bob Ross
"I'm wearing a MSU Tshirt because I went to MSU, you are wearing a UM Tshirt because you went to Walmart!" -unknown.
96. "she just seems problematic" In response to Reply # 94
thats all i can really say because i never met the chick and i know theres 2 sides to one story. and i know I'm only privy to a limited amount of info.
91. "had a weird moment at Wawa today" In response to Reply # 0
i stopped by Wawa for lunch and as im going in this skinny white dude hops out the passenger side of a pickup looking sad as phuck.
He proceeds to tell me that him and his friend had run out of gas and begged me for a few dollars to help him out. Im apprehensive but im relent and tell him i'll see if i can give u a five spot when i come out.
I take 10 out the atm and proceed to get my lunch. In my mind im like i would want someone to help me out if i was stuck, so i swipe for my lunch and intended to give him the full $10. I step out the store and immediately lock eyes with another white guy sitting in another truck. The guy sees me pulling out the 10 and he immediately starts shaking his head like giving me a signal to not do it. I acknowledged his head shake with an inquiring head nod back. He acknowledged my inquiring head nod with another affirmed headshake and then i put my 10 back in my wallet. By then i was around the corner of the store in sight of begging white guy and i immediately tell him im not going to be able to do it. He hops back in his truck and him and his friend pulls off. Then I noticed that the guy that warned me saved me from getting got because the begger dude pulled off without getting gas. I also then realize how naive i am to a person in need. I tend to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. That nonverbal communication was an awesome exchange.
-Paid my taxes today and im glad thats done
-I helped a friend get a job today
-My daughter asked me to get her the NO NO Hair Removal kit for her birthday in 2 weeks. Why the hell is that thing $270? Why though? Even if i get it at Bed Bath and Beyond and use the 20% off coupon, its still 2 bills. Im pissed but i already promised her so se la vie.
92. "Every day I feel more like myself and that shit is dope..." In response to Reply # 0
keeping myself open to a couple legitimate possibilities and I like what summer's gonna look like...
one of these cats got in his feelings which I can respect but I sleep like a baby because I know I presented my truth and he couldn't hang, it happens *shrug* #singlelifestillamazing
I took myself out to dinner the other night and I dig these little sweet rewards. Silence is golden and I think it brings me one step closer to meditation. I think chaos magick(sp?) might be the steeze for me for now because the universe has been watching my back like a motherfucker**
BAND REHEARSAL WAS AMMMAAAZZIIINNNGG. I was definitely a little sloppy but it was the first one ever with dudes reading charts. I fine tuned my shit hella hard this week.** I was super drunk after rehearsal, ended up leaving my phone in my bike basket in the middle of Crack Central. Yoooooo, why was that shit still there at 7:45am?
Last one sorta, so not only am I bipolar but I prolly have ADD up in there somewhere. Tried some for real adderall, waited for the furious strides of deep focused activities and I was.so.normal. It was different but boring. Basically like that Adventure Time episode when Finn turns off Jake's imagination and he's all like "I can't tell you anything awesome Finn because nothing awesome is happening..." It's kind of nice to know that there's actually a drug out there that'll make me "normal" but I finally realized I like the way my brain already works and I ain't hurting nobody so FUCKIT
I'm so blessed sometimes I wonder how that shit is real? Like maybe I'm catatonic somewhere imagining all this. People. Adventures. Stories. All of it.
Or sometimes I think about that bit in "Mortal Man" when Tupac says "all good things come to those that stay true" and I wonder if there's something behind it. I'm finally at a place where I'm finally pushing the right buttons and doors are opening. Nothing flashy but sustainable.
I could go on but y'all don't care. Either way, I'm good, finally.
"i wanna hug all u idiotic bastards & then set you all on fire" -Bin
Cherry Bomb ain't a classic, but it's a pretty good album. Also, I kinda miss NERD - so I'm happy w/the production. Also, Yeezy verse on SMUCKERS is fucking great.
I never thought I'd like this dude when they first came out. But between Wolf & this? I'm in.
Printer-friendly copy 
Email this topic to a friend
General Discussion
