"You find a text message on your child's phone sayng" Tue Mar-10-15 08:25 PM by Sarah_Bellum
they wish you were dead.
This is after being told by your youngest children that she told them she wants them dead. (siblings are 8 and 10) Note: they all share a room.
The child is 13 or 14 and she is already in counseling but the counselor says she's fine and even "improving."
She's Black (surprise) and going through it with her mother and step father. She wants to run away to live with her dad, who is in an out of jail, gives her no rules and passes her off to grandma to watch.
Residential care is available and isn't always terrible. I worked at a kids facility in Hamden years ago. Some places have 1:1 full time counselors who keep a close eye on them and therapists on staff and the family can always visit.
Nobody should have to live in fear, least of all the kids.
2. "honestly... talk it out... " In response to Reply # 0
most kids don't like being pressed for the truth but getting to the crux of the issue sounds like a good move
I know some folks are just prepared for teens to be difficult/moody but I've seen way too many positive relationships between past classmates and their folks to know it's not impossible
especially considering this chick's got multiple siblings and a step daddy, she probably feels irrelevant in such a big household... obviously there's more to it but Mom should def pull her to the side and take her out for ice cream or something
"i wanna hug all u idiotic bastards & then set you all on fire" -Bin
4. "give her the angie stone special." In response to Reply # 0
j/k honestly idk that's just crazy i saw an episode of snapped where these twin girls (black) killed their mom because she had gone through some issues and they lived with their grandmother for a while grandmother was old and couldn't control them so they got to do whatever they wanted mother gets her life together goes back to school all types of shit just turns over a new leaf to get her kids back and these lil girls (about 15/16) would gang up on her because they were like how you gonna just roll back into our lives being a real mother and shit?? they ganged up on her and jumped her a couple of times the mother says to one of her co-workers one day 'if i come up dead them lil girls did it' and low and behold she comes up dead and them girls did it not to scare you or anything but thats the first thing that i thought of while reading this
have they told the counselor about the death threats? maybe they need a second opinion?
5. "i sure wished/prayed for my parents' death multiple times" In response to Reply # 0
b/c, you know, they beat me.
LOL
but i didn't kill them.
if she were my kid i'd bring up the texts w/her therapist since the kid's therapy sessions don't seem confidential. i'd want someone to help me figure out how serious she is if at all. b/c kids say all kinds of stuff w/o knowing the potential implications of what they're saying.
7. "Would you worry about the safety of the younger siblings kids?" In response to Reply # 5
the 8 year old and 10 year old she said she wanted dead too...
Kids are angsty against their their parents and even siblings but sometimes it ain't just angst. Kinda traumatizing for the other kids, so much so they told their mom.
9. "I mean, there isn't a shortage of stories about that..." In response to Reply # 7
I don't remember what show it was but it was about parents living with kids that have bipolar disorder and ave threatened to kill them and/or their siblings and some of the kids on the show were institutionalized for that very reason, they attempted to choke their sister out in their sleep or threatened them with a knife over a sandwich.
"The teen told police she was mad that her sister didn't appreciate all she did for her, prosecutors said at the suspect's detention hearing Wednesday. WLS was at the hearing.
The teen said she cooked dinner for her younger sibling and performed other chores. She was also angry that the 11-year-old girl had recently hit her.
The night before the attack, the teen thought about it for about 10 or 15 minutes, then went downstairs and grabbed a knife, according to prosecutors.
After the stabbing, she took a shower to wash off the blood, called police and made up the story about the intruder, prosecutors said.
The 14-year-old was arrested and was charged with murder."
11. "The step father is overbearing " In response to Reply # 8 Tue Mar-10-15 11:26 PM by Sarah_Bellum
according to the mother and daughter. He's muslim (one has nothing to do with the other), got out of jail 5-6 years ago and my guess is that the mom made a lot of changes when he came around that were based on him and how he believes a family should be... rules, boundaries, clothing etc. This is all conjecture, but it seems like the kids had little structure and then bam all of a sudden mom is trying to add structure/be strict but not of her own volition, but in response to him, at least that's how I guess it appears to the daughter.
Mom ain't perfect neither. She one of those types that think parenting can come down to a meme and while down playing and glosses over the important shit... Because of that I can't tell whether to take the "i wish you were dead" stuff as nonsense or a warning sign.
The girl is reacting to a lot. She saw someone pull a gun on her bio dad when she was a kid and threaten to blow his brains out in front of her. She had nightmares behind that for years.
14. "she needs an aunt she can stay with" In response to Reply # 11
continue seeking counseling, but it can only do so much if she has to keep returning to what sounds like an unstable environment. the mother is vested in the step-dad. nobody is listening to her. she needs someone to listen to her and put her needs first.
█▆▇▅▇█▇▆▄▁▃ Big PEMFin H & z's "I ain't no entertainer, and ain't trying to be one. I am 1 thing, a musician." � Miles
"When the music stops he falls back in the abyss."
the text could be more of a cry for help than an actual threat.
that's why i'd want some professional to help me sort that out.
at her age she likely lacks the tools to communicate exactly what she's feeling and so i dunno that her texting that she wants to kill her mom and siblings actually means she wants to kill them. it could mean something else that's not threatening at all.
and i wouldn't want to remove her from her mom (me, i guess in this hypo) if she doesn't represent any actual threat.
but i agree the girl needs someone who will listen to her. like, really listen and not overreact.
20. "yeah my suggestion is less about the threat of violence" In response to Reply # 19
which isn't to underplay that either, but rather acknowledging that she has few healthy outlets to communicate. and just having a counselor isn't enough in some cases (i say from experience). from her perspective it could be seen as a punishment which only fuels her anger. with two younger sibs a strict step dad and an idealized vision of her inaccessible dad... she needs someone she can trust has her interests at heart.
█▆▇▅▇█▇▆▄▁▃ Big PEMFin H & z's "I ain't no entertainer, and ain't trying to be one. I am 1 thing, a musician." � Miles
"When the music stops he falls back in the abyss."
13. "Im not saying that, Im saying its understandable" In response to Reply # 12
>I don't know, these things are always so delicate. Most kids >are just talk but 1 in a couple thousand take it further than >that. > > >___________________________________________________________ > > >DJTB YOMM
22. "I'd see if a trusted adult could take the youngest children for a few da..." In response to Reply # 0
Then, talk w/ the child in ? about why she feels this way + ask if she is being sexually abused, verbally abused, etc. Link up w/ new therapist if able b/c this 1 don't sound on top of it at all.
Tbh, my brain automatically went to possible sexual abuse given the details.
I hope the children get the help & healing they deserve.
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