http://community.allhiphop.com/discussion/526694/black-woman-marries-herself-cause-she-couldn-t-find-a-husband-by-the-time-she-turned-40

Black Woman Marries HERSELF Cause She Couldn’t Find A Husband By The Time She Turned 40

January 24 in For The Grown & Sexy
With the reported percentages of black men being dead, in jail or marrying outside their race it’s no wonder a black woman can’t find a good husband.. (If you feed into those statistics)

But now, thanks to a woman in Houston, Texas a lot of black women might start a new trend of marrying themselves.

Every little girl in America grows up fantasizing about the big day.. The day she will get married to her prince in shining armor.. The day she becomes a wife with a big ring on her finger.

For a teacher in the country’s 4th largest city with a black population totaling more than 1/4 of the city’s growing 2.1 million people, that day somehow never came.

Yasmin Eleby‘s wedding was everything she’d ever dreamed of.

Complete with singers, a band, a gorgeous candlelight ceremony and a white cake to match, Yasmine promised to love and honor… herself.


Early into adulthood Yasmin promised herself that if she hadn’t found a mate by the time she was 40, she would marry herself, and she kept her promise.


WITH HER VIRGINITY LONG GONE YASMIN SET OFF ON A SERIOUS MISSION.

What better way to start the year than with an act of self love?

After a moment of pause, you may be asking, how do you marry… yourself?

THE CEREMONY

Along with 10 bridesmaids Yasmin’s big day went down without a hitch.

Wearing a royal purple gown a glowing Yasim, walked down the aisle and bestowed her mother with the honor of giving her away..

What type of Minister would participate in an act of self Marriage you may be wondering..

Yasmin’s own sister who just happens to be a minister officiated the entire wedding and helped her say her vows.

However it was only a spiritual ceremony – because you can’t legally marry yourself in America or anywhere else for that matter.

Plus contrary to some black women’s belief, Jesus ain’t going so you can not be married to him..


She says the best part of her special day was having her family there to “stand up” for her.

Her other three sisters were bridesmaids and her mom gave her away; or back to herself in this case.

People participate in all types of phuckery these days.. Even though her phuckery is pretty cute, this woman right here is the Captain of the phuckery squad..

Sometimes a person may think they have self-love but what they have is major blockage that keeps them from being able to self-analyze themselves..

Real self-love means you’re able to evaluate yourself, you know your good and bad and what you need to work on.. If it was so important for this woman to be married by the time she was 40-years-old she should have done research on marriages and found out what she was doing wrong in dating.

That’s all I’m going to say about this cause I’m sure many of you women will applaud this mess.

IS SHE THIRSTY FOR A RING OR NAH?

Yasmin Eleby Married Herself When She Turned 40-years-old http://askkissy.com/2015/01/houston-yasmin-eleby-black-women-bride-marriage-cant-find-husband-purple-wedding-dress/6/#ixzz3Pl7iijYE
AskKissy.com

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i will not let finite disappointment undermine infinite hope
- Cory Booker

Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes, and at the end the Germans always win
- Gary Lineker

.
.
.
"Today is your day to have a better life -- it's your right."

Him: so I see you're wearing a ring...I thought you were single?

Her: well I am...technically, i had a wedding but it was just me... a while ago, I decided to marry myself since I hadn't found anyone by my 40th birthday...it was such a beautiful and joyous occasion!! I wish you were there...

HIm: *signals for waiter* Check please!

d

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which should already be allowed anyways.


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forcing myself to actually respond to you is like bathing in ebola virus. - Binlahab

Like there is stupid, and then there is you, and then there is dead. - VAsBestBBW

R.I.P. Disco D

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https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

das dat bullshit

Rest In Peace, Bad News Brown

lol

____________
Twitter & IG: @rulerofmyself
SC: rulerofmyself17

Yes! She's on the drugs. (c) BoHagon

Since 1976

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I wanna go to where the martyrs went
the brown figures on the walls of my apart-a-ment...

whatever she does, I hope it makes her happy, but that seems like an incredible waste of money and time.

it wouldn't really be different if she had a groom, but at least then it would be two people wasting their money and time together in a traditional way -- she could've done something different and fresh

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

Da bayball, babeh. (c) Charlie Kelly.

i mean, there are worse things to do if you dont achieve x by a certain time.

as a woman, for the most part, you dont really get celebrated except for when you get married or have a baby. i can understand why someone who has always fantasized about her wedding day (which is problematic in and of itself) can feel like she wants her celebration. as wack and lame and completely out of touch with reality as this whole thing is, i kinda get it.

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50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

It's plenty of money to be made
from Candler Road to Bankhead
It's plenty of room to get paid
for those that ain't scared

women get should and do get celebrated for more than these things. i can see if you said these are the biggest things that get celebrated, but its a major problem if these are the only things that want to get celebrated for.

where theyre the star of an event among the people they love?

some people love attention and fanfare and they just wont feel right in life if they dont get their big day. so she decided to give herself her big day.

its not supposed to be just about her. its putting the wedding event on a pedestal instead of marriage itself.

if this was a birthday, a promotion celebration, or celebrating being artificially inseminated by a stranger, ppl wouldn't have as much of a problem.

im just saying i understand where the crazy comes from.

damn shame weddings got people this fucked up.

our society encourages girls to grow up fantasizing about their wedding, not their 40th bday party.

>as wack and lame and
>completely out of touch with reality as this whole thing is, i
>kinda get it.

on some real shit being lonely can fuck ya head up.

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50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

Da bayball, babeh. (c) Charlie Kelly.

,

<---
Fuck a sig, my presence is enough.

I guarantee this chick is way too picky with highly unattainable goals for what she wants in a man. Either that or her attitude is way too stank or she's so crazy, she drives dudes away due to her actions. It's not like she's ugly. I've seen way worse looking chicks get married. The fact that she had this time limit on when she should get married makes me believe it's the overly picky, Kameelah list having option.




Since 1976

Do it. To look cute and show off and have fun with their friends and family. Let's not act like the wedding reception which is basically just a party is about anything else or she should have to lower her standards and just marry ANYONE to have a party, which is what a lot of chicks do.

It's not rocket surgery.

Da bayball, babeh. (c) Charlie Kelly.

>It's not rocket surgery.

Ppl are attention whores. She knew exactly what she had to do to get as many people to see her 40th bday pics as possible. White woman who did it got on national tv. She'll probably get plane tickets and airtime too if she wants it.

Cause ain't nobody tryna wade through all that dysfunction.

Da bayball, babeh. (c) Charlie Kelly.

This sista is cute, if she lost 70 pounds and toned up she would be stunning! She should have spent that money on a personal trainer and dietitian.

>This sista is cute, if she lost 70 pounds and toned up she
>would be stunning! She should have spent that money on a
>personal trainer and dietitian.
>
>
>

Set aside your Great Expectations and Have-a-sham marriage.

_______________________________

))<>((
forever.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

There's a few things in life I wouldnt want to go home alone after.

Important funerals being one.

My wedding and/or birthday being another.

To me there's a difference between being ok being solo and just being alone.

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“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

______________________________

They're bureaucrats! I don't respect them.(c)Rick Sanchez

Most of the discussion is about how hateful of women the writer and comments are.

She should have just married a DL gay guy.
I know at least three women that have done this.

You get your big wedding party, a handsome man on your arm and some illusion of normalcy. Sure the tongues will wag but few people will have the nerve to say anything to your face.

I have never fixed my mouth to ask my friend why out of the blues she married a man that is clearly gay. Cause it's not my place and I can guess at the reasons anyway.Their "arrangement" has lasted longer than some regular marriages I know...lol

I am curious though how such relationships develop. Do they actually discuss it or is it implicitly understood as a win-win.

I can only say harmless jokes about this, because it's so many ways it can be flipped and used against men.

"Maybe if you Black men were worth anything, she wouldn't have to marry herself."

"So you judge women for marrying the wrong man...then you judge them for not getting married...now you judge them for marrying themselves. You hate women."

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50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

gotta maneuvre your timeline carefully these days
not trying to be on the receiving end of somebody's pent up paragraphs of frustration just by virtue of having a different opinion.

>"Maybe if you Black men were worth anything, she wouldn't have
>to marry herself."
>
>"So you judge women for marrying the wrong man...then you
>judge them for not getting married...now you judge them for
>marrying themselves. You hate women."



: sips tea :

No possible way to know anything about her dating history. True, this also means we shouldn't judge her, call her crazy, selfish, attention desiring or anything else. But still, no way to use this and say "Black men aren't worth anything."

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50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

>I am curious though how such relationships develop. Do they
>actually discuss it or is it implicitly understood as a
>win-win.
>


We got along so damb well.
We always talked about how we fucking HATED dating.
Dished on the lames we fucked and how they just didn't "get it."
Over time we got really close and acknowledged something was there.
But it was not enough for her to be w/ a man and I wasn't there enough knowing she prefers women.

But she wanted a baby, a nice household and able to fuck bitches on some poly shyt.
I was 'bout it.

Then her ex called...

"a little air restriction ain't hurt nobody." - BSR

>>I am curious though how such relationships develop. Do they
>>actually discuss it or is it implicitly understood as a
>>win-win.
>>
>
>
>We got along so damb well.
>We always talked about how we fucking HATED dating.
>Dished on the lames we fucked and how they just didn't "get
>it."
>Over time we got really close and acknowledged something was
>there.
>But it was not enough for her to be w/ a man and I wasn't
>there enough knowing she prefers women.
>
>But she wanted a baby, a nice household and able to fuck
>bitches on some poly shyt.
>I was 'bout it.
>
I get what's in it for her but what's in it for you?
If you don't mind my asking...

It's hard to find people who know how to navigate intimacy.
A lot of folks know and understand maturity theoretically...but in application? lulz.

Although she would not be there for me sexually, she was cool w/ being there for me emotionally and was also ok w/ me doing the poly shyt and getting what i needed, too.

She liked her space and highly respected mine.
She was enduring, engaging, even affectionate to me.
She was warm and I appreciated the closeness we shared.

Now, would I have fallen into the trap of wanting more from her down the road?
Most definitely.
I was young and dumb. lol.

"a little air restriction ain't hurt nobody." - BSR

Even I know of a woman who decided that she wanted an engagement-type ring for her birthday and asked all her friends to chip in (instead of a gift)

it's only sad when a black women does it, if you listen to the sexist niggas here on Okp

____________________________

FUCK DONALD TRUMP

...just because "White folks do it too." White women who pull these stunts are pulling a move just as dumb and desperate as this particular chick's. I'm not sure how you're getting this 'White man's ice is colder' vibe from out of this thread.



Since 1976

Never known about anything close to this. The women and men that I know that are perpetually-single tend to wear it like a badge of honor, on some "I don't need no man / I'm not trying to be tied down to some woman"

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http://twitter.com/logicalhood
http://instagram.com/hoodlogic

"yes, sometimes my rhymes are sexist, but you lovely bitches and hos should know i'm tryin to correct it"- hiphopopotamus

Yeah she crazy and unwifeable and all that good stuff.
Folks sitting here calling her out her name and what not.
Nothing wrong with a commitment ceremony to yourself so whatever

I want to talk about this

"Every little girl in America grows up fantasizing about the big day.. The day she will get married to her prince in shining armor.. The day she becomes a wife with a big ring on her finger."


This is the damn problem. She probably has a good career, loving family and friends (obviously since they showed up for the party) but because she isnt a MRS she feels off..its bullshit and I hate that she is being ridiculed for it.
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huh

damn near every one of her friends that stood up to talk at the reception started their speech with "I don't really know the groom but it doesn't matter. She always wanted to be married..."

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huh

and my aunt hasn't spoken to her since.

I honestly think this dude she married is a little slow...

but she doesn't care because she is MARRIED!!!

I would extrapolate why but I have a paper and audit due today

ISE MURRIED NAW FOK and Ive been married a long time.
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huh

I still think it's a bad idea but hey, it's her life and this is what she wanted more than anything in the world.

.
.
.
"Today is your day to have a better life -- it's your right."

bet she ate it all alone too.. lol

http://i.imgur.com/mHM3DMk.gif
>
>bet she ate it all alone too.. lol

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http://twitter.com/logicalhood
http://instagram.com/hoodlogic

And I can't really go along with the notion of fantasising about a Prince Charming/big wedding since childhood, I often question the fact that as a single, childless person, one's life choices are not celebrated. And also the financial investment into other people's weddings & baby showers? Why should that not be reciprocated?

...

……………….,,
http://gravalicious.tumblr.com/archive

"If you're not loving someone, you're wasting your time." - Dennis Brown

>And I can't really go along with the notion of fantasising
>about a Prince Charming/big wedding since childhood,
Yeah the premise is backwords. I applaud the celebration but not as the patriarchal-rooted compensation that it actually is. Progressive would be rooting it in something else

> I often
>question the fact that as a single, childless person, one's
>life choices are not celebrated.
Ovet the holidays, My in-laws (sibling's wife family) were lightweight judging me choosing NOT to knock up or lock down some hapless woman just for the sake of being at expected stage of my mid-thirties life cycle. I laughed and said for the most part I actually enjoyed my freedom and people got legitimate angry...haha...wth?
You'd think I was an unaccomplished bum.
My sister had it rougher when she was unmarried though so I keep it in perspective.



>And also the financial
>investment into other people's weddings & baby showers? Why
>should that not be reciprocated?
Lol. Never thought of this. Alot of people owe me!

How exactly do we throw a "Congrats on not getting hitched/pregnant/etc!" party?

How do we celebrate that choice?

IMO we should simply be giving the courtesy of not harassing these people with constant interrogation. Not bombarding them like overbearing in-laws (or whoever) with incessant questions of when and why they aren't giving into the whole spouse & kids routine should be enough.

If your life choice is a complete non-event, what's to celebrate exactly? This reeks of a little league culture, give everyone a trophy so nobody gets their feelings hurt type of notion.

If you choose to remain single and childless, that's great, fine, and well. If you likewise choose to support actual milestones of your loved ones, it's surely appreciated. That doesn't mean you get a party for not doing those things.

"IMO we should simply be giving the courtesy of not harassing these people with constant interrogation. Not bombarding them like overbearing in-laws (or whoever) with incessant questions of when and why they aren't giving into the whole spouse & kids routine should be enough."

but in a capitalist culture where everything has some sort of material gain attached to it, i can see how this is the end result.

"If you choose to remain single and childless, that's great, fine, and well. If you likewise choose to support actual milestones of your loved ones, it's surely appreciated."

That's great in theory, but more often than not, these things have a level of expectation & there is a financial obligation that goes along with that. It's not exactly "acceptable" to opt out. Is it enough to just say congrats on someone's baby or wedding?

>"If you choose to remain single and childless, that's great,
>fine, and well. If you likewise choose to support actual
>milestones of your loved ones, it's surely appreciated."
>
>That's great in theory, but more often than not, these things
>have a level of expectation & there is a financial obligation
>that goes along with that. It's not exactly "acceptable" to
>opt out. Is it enough to just say congrats on someone's baby
>or wedding?

If there are milestones in your life worth celebrating (whether childless or not, single or not), you should celebrate them.
Plan a party, create invites, reserve a venue, etc.

But I'm not a fan of passive-aggressively calling it "a wedding."
Because if it's a critique of men in Houston, they need to acknowledge criminalization of Black men and The Pipeline and many other reasons how and why it affects how and who they date.

Meh.

"a little air restriction ain't hurt nobody." - BSR

they impact no one but you

they matter to...no one but you.

what im reading is gee, nobody applauds us for being alive, we gonna applaud ourselves

cool. do that. but why would someone else do it?


does it really matter?

for all my fans who keep my name in their mouth: http://i.imgur.com/v2xNOpS.jpg

http://memecrunch.com/meme/2W80O/look-at-this-independent-brown-dog-he-dont-need-no-man/image.png

lmao @ these comments