"Poll question: father doesn't want kids around auntie's long-term bf"
auntie frequently cares for young nephew and niece, at parents' request. like a couple times a week. father doesn't want her long-term boyfriend around his kids at all. because she cares for these kids so frequently, its impacting her availability to her man
Poll result (10 votes)
dad is absolutely right. no non-family men around the young kids
1. "Daddy needs to find a new caretaker" In response to Reply # 0
you can't ask people to babysit your kids in their home, and then tell them who they can and can't have in the house...unless, of course it's a legit home-based daycare.
My son would be sitting in the office with me after school every day before I sent him back over there (If I really didn't like dude). At least until I found someone new.
11. "i feel you. auntie wants to be helpful tho, it aint abt getting out of i..." In response to Reply # 9 Mon Jan-12-15 02:05 PM by dba_BAD
she enjoys co-parenting to a degree, or at least being a helpful caretaker
her MO is to be deferential tho, and I'd like to see another outcome than her sacrificing her personal relationship in favor of her BIL's paranoia
but i dont think his position is TOTALLY unreasonable either. But I do think he's being a little unkind to her. And I think a compromise could be reached.
what i really think is that mom should step up, advocate for her sis, highlight the billions of dollars worth of free (and quality, safe, in-the-family) care theye getting, and have dad man down a little bit. let auntie cook (for your kids. with her bf. hes fine)
15. "Why doesn’t he want her boyfriend around his kids? " In response to Reply # 0
That seems like the biggest question here. Forgive me if I missed that detail.
Beyond that, it’s really a mish-mash of details that need ironing out. If mom insists on auntie watching the kids (for whatever reason) or if auntie insists, that’s good and well. Were I the father in this scenario, my stance would be simple: if you want to watch them, then that’s all good so long as homeboy doesn’t come around while they’re here. Otherwise, I’ll just find a different situation.
If dad is insisting on the kids going to auntie’s, for whatever reason, instead of another place, then he needs to find a new child care provider if he’s that uncomfortable with her man being around.
17. "reply 3 + everyone wants auntie to watch kids, including auntie" In response to Reply # 15 Mon Jan-12-15 03:10 PM by dba_BAD
she enjoys helping out
edit: maybe everyone excluding the bf. he thinks she should step back a little bit, maybe she's overextending her generosity. of course he can't help but have a little bit of a personal agenda there too
but yeah i agree that they really just need to collaborate better, should be a way for everyone to be happy
I mean, if he wants to be that specific, that's his right, but he needs to locate an official caretaker who will accommodate. I could understand saying he doesn't want them alone with the dude, but saying he can't be there all together is overstepping his bounds.
Printer-friendly copy 
Email this topic to a friend
General Discussion
(1 votes)
(5 votes)
(1 votes)
(3 votes)
