9. "doesn't seem worth it." In response to Reply # 6
I have better orgasm alone. That's why I think I've become asexual. I'm used to not being satisfied during sex and would rather just satisfy myself. ♥♥Church Diva♥♥
13. "lol. u wrong for that" In response to Reply # 11
To answer your original question, he does care, enough to say something. I tell him how I feel, and it goes nowhere. So he must not care because what I'm saying doesn't make a difference. And I don't care because I'm not pressed to satisfy him. I feel bad about it but not bad enough to sleep with him more. At this point, I suspect he is sleeping with someone else or at the point he will be soon. But that still doesn't motivate me to want to sleep with him.
17. "that's just all-around fucked up" In response to Reply # 13 Sat Dec-20-14 02:54 AM by ConcreteCharlie
Do you give a fuck about this person and his needs at all? I mean, you don't even care if this leads him to sleeping with someone else, in fact you sound understanding of that being at least a distinct possibility. Seems like you have discovered some nihilist approach to a "romantic" relationship.
And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
47. "Snark aside, I can relate. I am in sort of a similar position" In response to Reply # 44
I can't leave her high and dry and as an OKP brilliantly said "Good sex WILL prolong a bad relationship" but overall I know my emotions are misspent and she has a lot of growth to do on her own.
I guess there is a slim, slim chance it will work for a longer span, but not really. It sounds like it's time to pull the plug on your shit, but what do I know?
And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
19. "no affection is more important than orgasm" In response to Reply # 16
I had my first orgasm at the age of 12. I've never used a machine. I had my first orgasm from sex at the age of 22. It took me a long time to orgasm from sex because I knew what I needed and the male did not. But affection made it worthwhile because I could not be affectionatested with myself. In my current sitch my parter is not affectionate. And so I'm getting nothing out of it. I have expressed many times I need more affection. I'm not begging any man to be affectionate. I'm too fly for that and never had to do that in the past, and quite frankly having to beg to be touched turns me off. I'd rather satisfy myself. I even started being affectionate with myself, lol. Kissing my arms and rubbing my own back and face and head when I want to feel special. And if I'm with my friends and they touch me I don't stop them because I crave physical contact. It doesn't have to be sexual, just a touch makes me feel connected and rejuvinated. I like feeling the energy of other people. My partner has become zombie like with me. So I just do what I have to do but not more. It's a struggle to have sex the 2 times a month honestly. ♥♥Church Diva♥♥
37. "it depends" In response to Reply # 26 Sat Dec-20-14 03:19 PM by godleeluv
Usually no one says anything. We are in the bed anyway and he usually presses his erect penis against my ass and hopes I react. Then there is some sideways sex where no one commits to being on top because they are either too tired or sore or uninterested in putting forth any real effort. ♥♥Church Diva♥♥
31. "You and I are about to have a come to Jesus moment" In response to Reply # 0 Sat Dec-20-14 10:43 AM by DVS
1st....to answer your question....yes, that's a piss poor sex life. Especially if you are on some "rationing the poochie yum yums" out because he's not doing x/y/x.....that is horrible.
My wife and I argue all the time and both of us have been on some Taye Diggs ***dingdingding MY DIVOOOOOOOOORCE!!!!** status more than once. But we fucking. Its an unspoken rule that if you in need...come get this cat ass because until we filing papers, I want that shit handled in house.
So what the hell is it you want, yo? 'Cause I don't know if you are just venting and you really love this dude or what but I never.......EVER EVER EVER...hear you say a positive word about him. At all.
And that's sad. I don't know if its your personality or you just only come here to vent and keep the happy moments to yourself.....
But either way...if you really this miserable you should seriously consider cutting your losses and making a more effective use of your time...'cause this he gon' be miserable 'cause I'M miserable shit is for the birds.
All said in love but yo....I gotta speak my mind on shit. It is what it is.
34. "RE: You and I are about to have a come to Jesus moment" In response to Reply # 31
I gotta add on to this because this sh*t is about to get real. YES, you are wrong. YES, 2 times a month is NOT enough. And, if you aren't willing to meet each other's needs, then go your separate ways.
(Sorry, I'm still laughing at DVS and the "poochie yum yums")
Its sounds to me that you aren't speaking each other's love language (yes, I am of the 5 love languages tribe..google it). First, you need to find out what that is. And, work on it! If you aren't willing to...end it!
I've been married for almost 10 years and in a relationship with my hubby for almost 20. We also have had our moments. But, we worked through that shit! He is my best friend and my husband. And, if you can not say that about your dude...end the shit. If you aren't willing to work on it...end the shit!
Why stay in a relationship with a person who is not meeting your wants and especially your needs?! My husband knows that I crave quality time and emotional time. I know that he prefers to be shown love by doing acts that make him happy. For me that means the house needs to be spotless, and I need to think about his time and fitting into it (he's a busy man and if it takes me doing a drive by blow job then thats what I gotta do).
The point is you do things to show the ones you love that you love them. And if you aren't willing to show them those things, why should they do it for you? If you are not willing...END IT. You can co-parent and be friends. But you don't have to be in a relationship.
"We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents" - Bob Ross
"I'm wearing a MSU Tshirt because I went to MSU, you are wearing a UM Tshirt because you went to Walmart!" -unknown.
SimplyHannah Member since Aug 09th 2009 7226 posts
Sat Dec-20-14 03:29 PM
40. "Masturbation > Sex" In response to Reply # 35
>If you would rather just jerk off than put in effort to make >it better for you, you probably shouldnt even be fuckin with >this person at all > >Or you're addicted to fapping and it would be this way >regardless
And that is a hard thing to admit. Because I don't think it should be that way. I'm to blame as well because there are a lot of things I don't feel comfortable about. But the right partner could get a lot more out of me. I just don't have the right partner. The partner I have makes me want to do less. And I'm too young for that. ♥♥Church Diva♥♥
55. "Do you need a lot of Foreplay? I hate long ass foreplay requirements" In response to Reply # 0
I'm also the dude that thinks a chick should be ready to go soon as she kisses me...LOL
BUt I'm fine with nipple play, kissing and clit play for about 5 minutes. If you aint hot by then get out of my bed. Cause once my dills is up and ready to go it's time!!!
--------------------------------------- My Sig - Nig!! Hip Hop is a perfect verse over a dope beat!!
62. "RE: 2 times a month. is that really too little?" In response to Reply # 0
You not in the mood because it sounds like you all are missing
ROMANCE!!!!
Men want sex women want ROMANCE...
woot there it is
You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.
63. "Yes it is too little. Sex is not a weapon or a treat to be doled out" In response to Reply # 0
sparingly in a relationship.
I'm sad for you and for your man. One would think it must be the sex holding you together.
Otherwise this an an eye opening post into the frequency or desired frequency of sex in responders lives. Its a valid question. You never know how much other people are fucking. I wonder what's normal myself.
74. "RE: 2 times a month. is that really too little?" In response to Reply # 0
IMO, I think that the frequency of your sex is a result of the bad habits that have developed in our relationship. I know, I am living that out right now, and for the record twice per month would be a lotto ticket compared to what I have.
The idea that he wont do x so you now don't do y, is what kills the safety, comfort, joy, happiness, sensuality of a relationship. All relationships goes through ups and downs, but keeping these actions constant is what keeps you coming back to your lover.
I know it is hard but try to spark something between you two, and not for a day either. Give it a two weeks. Cook his favorite things to eat, speak before you go to bed, try to connect in some small way. It could lead to more but and it will be awkward at first, don't continue if it feels uncomfortable, but fight through that pride and see what happens.
76. "yeah, I'm not using sex as a weapon tho. " In response to Reply # 75
I'm a leo and I love to have sex. But over the course of the relationship I lost my sex drive. So I'm not holding out to punish him, I'm not having sex with him because I don't feel attracted to him or attractive to him. There is a difference. When I masterbate it is when I'm alone and feel the need to orgasm. When I'm around him, an orgasm is the last thing on my mind. So my point is, I'm not holding out, I'm being honest. I dont have sex because I feel obligated to. I have sex because I want to.
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