more from you?
scenario: the two of you have fantastic conversations and get along well but one party has made it pretty clear that they want your chonies and you have made it pretty clear that's not happening, but you still wanna hang out cause y'all have fun together. is that wrong or mean? is it an unintentional set up? should i just leave him alone?

_____________________

hello, lover.

Actually, it is ok. It's dude's fault if he gets all hurt and doesn't K.I.M. once he see what time it is.

---
http://twitter.com/logicalhood
http://instagram.com/hoodlogic

time together. I am a good friend to have, man! lol
for real tho, i am. why it gotta be all or nothing?

_____________________

hello, lover.

>time together. I am a good friend to have, man! lol
>for real tho, i am. why it gotta be all or nothing?

If dude's single and looking, then he probably won't have time for multiple women, even as friends. He's gonna have to decide on which women get his attention, and most-likely it will be the woman that's showing him romantic interest.

Nothing wrong with being just friends, but be warned: If he's like me then he'll start hollering at other women while he's out with you. That time thing... gotta be efficient.

---
http://twitter.com/logicalhood
http://instagram.com/hoodlogic

holler away. i'm a good wing woman too

_____________________

hello, lover.

but like the other reply mentioned onus is more on dude to realize it ain't gonna happen and keep it movin.

The village idiot will come forth
To be acclaimed the leader

if the fact that he has (or had) romantic feelings for you
is weirding either of you out to the point where the
friendship won't work, then one of you two should end it.

if not, make it do what it do.

i had to check him twice but since then everything seems to be okay.

_____________________

hello, lover.

making it "perfectly clear" yet still hanging out
or worse, letting dude spend money on u

means he just waiting for that mixed signal opportunity to present itself


and sometimes it works



and and, sometimes it turns into a full-fledged 'its complicated'

)))--####---###--(((

bunda
<-.-> ^_^ \^0^/
get busy living, or get busy dying.

He knows its fucked up.

I'll tell you the same thing I'd tell a nigga asking "is it wrong if we stay fuck buddies if she wants a relationship?", just enjoy each other until it eventually falls apart. *shrug*

"They used to call me Baby Luke....but now? The whole damn 2 Liiiive Crew."

hrmm...but friendship and fuck buddy are in no way the same.

_____________________

hello, lover.

there is a party who wants more than the other is willing to give in both scenarios
in that sense I would say it's the same

here for dis.

i'm doing whats in my best interest and he should do the same, imo. and if he's smart he'll see that being friends with me is a great move

_____________________

hello, lover.

ALL straight men would fuck if given the shot
that doesn't excuse you from keeping him hanging on a string
I wouldn't want to be friends with any man who was sticking around mainly just to see if I crack the dick-in-a-glass box at any point to begin with now that I'm 30. I'm too lazy now to keep up any charades.

here for dis.

>that doesn't excuse you from keeping him hanging on a string

that's not my intention. i've made myself clear that it's not happening.
i'm not trying to lead him on and i've said as much.

>I wouldn't want to be friends with any man who was sticking
>around mainly just to see if I crack the dick-in-a-glass box

me either, hence this post. i value yalls opinions. thx

>at any point to begin with now that I'm 30. I'm too lazy now
>to keep up any charades.

right, aint nobody got time for that

_____________________

hello, lover.

"They used to call me Baby Luke....but now? The whole damn 2 Liiiive Crew."

_____________________

hello, lover.

I don't know how they can do that.

---
"People that need positivity around them all the time are weak individuals in my book" - @lilduval

The village idiot will come forth
To be acclaimed the leader

_____________________

hello, lover.

in hopes you'd come around.


fuck this post.

www.anthologyfmn.com

Enter the Written World of Fahim Malik Nassar

The House of Caine (available)

Melancholoy Funk (available)

Tha Anthology (Words 2001-2003) Poetry inspired by OKP and Wash, DC
(available)

The Spook who sat by the Radio Poetry (av

his "attention" he wouldn't be in the friend zone. i'm not insecure, i don't need attention. i really truly just like his friendship a lot

_____________________

hello, lover.

_____________________

hello, lover.

The village idiot will come forth
To be acclaimed the leader

_____________________

hello, lover.

then ask yourself whether it's important to you to be a good person or not.

---
"People that need positivity around them all the time are weak individuals in my book" - @lilduval

Why would you want to force anyone to do anything? If you made it clear that someone can only be platonic friends with you then he needs to respect your decision and either be platonic friends with you or leave you alone and find someone who is willing to be romantic with him.

I get wanting to be platonic friends with someone as well as liking said person's company, but if you know that this guy will press you to be more than friends, then you may need to fall back and leave him alone. I think you both can not be platonic friends ends unless the both of you agree to be platonic friends. Otherwise, there will be some conflict, even if it is subtle with no arguments.

and to cut you off.

fuck you.

gotta fuck?

_____________________

hello, lover.

i dunno this guy or y'all's situation other than what i've read.

the story in the OP reminds me of situations i've been in - and i've been on both sides of this issue. in my experience the party who wants the romantic relationship doesn't get over that desire for romance. and if they agree to be a friend the agreement is premised on their lingering desire for a romantic relationship. their 'friendship' isn't true friendship - they're acting as a 'friend' hoping that the uninterested party will change their mind about the romance. in the interest of changing the uninterested's mind this 'friend' will attempt to be The Perfect Friend. they won't actually be themselves. meanwhile the uninterested party is getting everything s/he wants from the 'friendship' and the interested party gets mostly consternation. the real test of the friendship comes when the uninterested party develops a romantic interest in someone other than the 'friend'. in my experience, the 'friend' is crushed by this development - but a true friend wouldn't be crushed if their friend starts seeing someone romantically. that right there tells the truth behind the lie - the 2 parties weren't actually friends at all.

but i digress...you don't have to bone this guy to be a good friend. in fact i think boning him would be the worst thing you could do to him considering your knowledge of his feelings. i dunno the guy and maybe he's not like me or the guys i've experienced this with. maybe y'all are different.

from the outside continuing w/the friendship seems selfish on your part and foolish on his.

fuck you.

i was afraid of this. i'mma fall back. oh well. thanks Morpheus

_____________________

hello, lover.

it all depends on the level of interest hes shown

and his behavior going forward

it will help if you continue to hold your line firmly with no missteps

unlikely isnt impossible

it all depends on how long have you been friends?
did he confess feelings and they've been held on to for a long time?
probably not going to work

is this over a year or two and yall rarwly hung out but he realized hey this is a possible and made an effort?
maybe yall both grown

he keeps trying though you made it clear verbally and otherwise
you pay for your own things on outtings
you dont snuggle with dude or get too intimate like you would with someone you are dating

if he keep doing the *sigh* romanticizing you or your friendship
or keeps trying to get in the drawls

then nah

also hold him to the same standards as your other friendships


~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

>it all depends on the level of interest hes shown
>
>and his behavior going forward
>
>it will help if you continue to hold your line firmly with no
>missteps
>
>unlikely isnt impossible
>
>it all depends on how long have you been friends?

about a year.

>did he confess feelings and they've been held on to for a long
>time?

nope. he makes comments and when called on them feels embarrassed and claims he was kidding. then he kissed me once and after i sternly told him that wasn't cool, he said it wouldn't happen again.

>probably not going to work
>
>is this over a year or two and yall rarwly hung out but he
>realized hey this is a possible and made an effort?
>maybe yall both grown
>
>he keeps trying though you made it clear verbally and
>otherwise
>you pay for your own things on outtings
>you dont snuggle with dude or get too intimate like you would
>with someone you are dating
>
>if he keep doing the *sigh* romanticizing you or your
>friendship
>or keeps trying to get in the drawls
>
>then nah
>
>also hold him to the same standards as your other friendships

bet!

_____________________

hello, lover.

LOL - i only ask that b/c i think i'd find that behavior annoying enough that i'd cool off my friendship w/that guy. unless he were my only friend or Best Friend.

when i've been on your side of this issue i've become fucking annoyed by the entreaties for sex after i've been clear that it ain't happening.

i have an acquaintance like that now - we only see each other out and about but we used to be closer. i put distance between us b/c his 'jokes' about wanting to fuck me had become tedious. it was clear his interest in sex had clouded his ability to relate to me on just about any other level. he was mostly cool but just couldn't stop throwing around little comments about how sexy i am or how good the sex between us would be or whatever whatever. it was flattering at first and then it just wasn't and now it's kinda creepy.

but your friend might not be such a creep about it.

fuck you.

>LOL - i only ask that b/c i think i'd find that behavior
>annoying enough that i'd cool off my friendship w/that guy.
>unless he were my only friend or Best Friend.
>when i've been on your side of this issue i've become fucking
>annoyed by the entreaties for sex after i've been clear that
>it ain't happening.

and yes, the times it has happened i was annoyed as fuck and let it be known. now if it happens again? that's it for me. i'm done trying.

>i have an acquaintance like that now - we only see each other
>out and about but we used to be closer. i put distance
>between us b/c his 'jokes' about wanting to fuck me had become
>tedious. it was clear his interest in sex had clouded his
>ability to relate to me on just about any other level. he was
>mostly cool but just couldn't stop throwing around little
>comments about how sexy i am or how good the sex between us
>would be or whatever whatever. it was flattering at first and
>then it just wasn't and now it's kinda creepy.
>
>but your friend might not be such a creep about it.

_____________________

hello, lover.

im not coming back to this thread.

im getting more and more pissed off on behalf of the guy.

cuz obviously the girl is not going to end it because she likes the attention she's getting or maybe doesn't want to hurt his feelings.
dude needs to stop being a simp.

The village idiot will come forth
To be acclaimed the leader

if you feel like you couldn't do that then you really do like keeping him around for the attention

b) he wasn't already in a complicated relationship w/ someone else

_____________________

hello, lover.

_____________________

hello, lover.

you two?

I say if he was completely single, the sex would've happened already lol

here for dis.

but I am curious though

maybe it's as simple as her not being attracted to him

him. he's not completely unattractive...but he's not someone i would immediately find appealing physically. he's cool as fuck and, at first, i was trying to be open minded but no dice. and as i got to know him better i realized i wasn't attracted at all and couldn't/shouldn't force it. but we still could be great friends if he didnt want my sex.

_____________________

hello, lover.

but it does not lend itself to a straightforward resolution

you realize, he may understand the attraction difference and be seeking to stay in your good graces by being 'such a cool, fun guy'.

like it could be a Darwinian trait to slip past the guard

but I don't know enough to say he has separate feelings of friendship that he can work to isolate from the physical stuff

people painting you as the wrong one, but he could be the one running game by playing the friend role

i would really hate to lose his friendship but i'm thinking that, after we chat about it, it may be best for me to disappear

_____________________

hello, lover.

something happened that changed my mind. and since then i've had even more reason to just want to be friends. he wouldn't survive with me, lol. he's not confident enough, etc.

_____________________

hello, lover.

i feel if i tell you i'm not interested and give you a choice to walk away or continue being JUST friends

and you choose to be friends with me, then that's on you.

if you also choose to stay because you believe that i may change my mind, then that's on you, too.

i'm TELLING you i won't. it aint what i want. you aint a child. this isn't a matter of needing to be convinced otherwise.

why am i in the wrong?

~
IG: @fireysky

but need to be convinced some more.

he's up for the challenge.

but the reality is there is no prize in the end.

you're just bored.

you're having fun with him?

of course you are. he likes you and is using his best material on you.

cuz i pride myself in communicating where i'm at always

and i'd never leave room for interpretation.

so he can believe whatever he wants..what he should be doing is listening to me and acting in his best interest.

~
IG: @fireysky

_____________________

hello, lover.

or people hear one thing and take actions to be different

usually it's a situation where someone is saying they care but their actions contradict

ideally it should be simple to take word over actions and roll w/ that but the actions complicate things.

*************************************
like.me
http://tinyurl.com/3z8486u

"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

you're 'saying' one thing. but yall at the movies every weekend.

or going out to dinner.

or parties.

or chilling at the house.