...for her first period.

Up til now I've got this little walk in closet nice and cozy with the master lock that won't open til she's 25 and a shotgun right next to it on deck, but I'm trying to accept the fact that that probably isn't the best plan.

My wife has a lot of her feminine support needs covered, but I wanna be supportive.

So is there any role a dad can play? Anything you would have appreciated hearing from your dad? Or should I just stay the fuck out of the way.

I don't want my baby to grow up yall, but no matter what I do that shit is seemin inevitable.

█▆▇▅▇█▇▆▄▁▃
Big PEMFin H & z's
"I ain't no entertainer, and ain't trying to be one. I am 1 thing, a musician." � Miles

"When the music stops he falls back in the abyss."

http://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=4&topic_id=12650598&mesg_id=12650598&listing_type=search

****
pink toes: http://i.imgur.com/WN7DPL1

shit could happen today fam.

My daugher's already being mistaken as my wife's little sister and she ain't a fucking teen yet.

█▆▇▅▇█▇▆▄▁▃
Big PEMFin H & z's
"I ain't no entertainer, and ain't trying to be one. I am 1 thing, a musician." � Miles

"When the music stops he falls back in the abyss."

thats something her and mommabear gonna work out

i will come in for the tag team on the follow up a lil later and have The Sex Talk with us three

it's like fuck
when is an optimal age for her to get her period?
shit some women get theirs at age 10
some not until 13/14
it's like FUUUUUCKKKK dude
this is some seriously scary shit im bout to deal with

****
pink toes: http://i.imgur.com/WN7DPL1

any day now. I don't wanna just
stand on the sideline. right now my goal
is to make sure she continues being
comfy talking to me.

mom works more hours than me,
so I might be the resource
when it happens.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

I'm of course, not a lady, but it's not really a big deal in our household.
We're not terribly sensationalist and she's absorbed that perspective.

My usual support comes in the form of following her cues.
She wants to be left alone or is a little moody, I give her space and maybe bring home a cupcake.
She clingy? I give her lots of hugs and we do a Attack on Titan or Korra marathon.
I'm more so here as support to the support.

Anyhow, we've had so many chats about sex and reproduction since she was 6 or 7.
It was to a point where she'd start researching her stages of puberty and even her
younger sister started asking us questions about sex.

I think the biggest pet peeve is calling genitals pet names: coo-coo, pee-pee, vuh-jay-jay.
Nah. Fuck that. VAGINA. LABIA. UTERUS. etc.
Once she knows the actual names of her genitals and is no longer squeamish about it,
it's really fuckin' easy to talk about menstrual cycles to where it's ok to talk about
self care.

I just try to strike that balance between "You're a young woman!" and "It's part of life. No big deal."

"a little air restriction ain't hurt nobody." - BSR

>I'm more so here as support to the support.

This is going to be me on THAT topic.

>
>Anyhow, we've had so many chats about sex and reproduction
>since she was 6 or 7.

This is something me and wifey haven't discussed yet.
But wifey uses those play names for sexual organs
I'm kinda eh on them
Dont feel nothing either way

Growing up in my house all I heard was Dick or Pussy or Titties
so pretty much anything can be better than that

****
pink toes: http://i.imgur.com/WN7DPL1

never heard anyone else call it that

lol

>I just try to strike that balance between "You're a young
>woman!" and "It's part of life. No big deal."
>

that's pretty much it

******************************************
Falcons, Braves, Bulldogs and Hawks

Geto Boys, Poison Clan, UGK, Eightball & MJG, OutKast, Goodie Mob

you dont need to say anything, she will come to you if she wants too.
Its her thing, its private.
be supportive by not bringing it up specifically.
my stepdad and I didnt need to discuss it, my mom handled that...its a woman thing that the men knew about but didnt personally have to be hands on.




Mixes
http://www.mixcloud.com/rachel-stewart/
Jewelry
http://rachelstewartjewelry.com/
Photography
http://www.creativesilence.net/

That would embarrass her

no teen girl wants to talk about her period with her dad, trust

one of the worst moments of my life was getting my period and having my dad talk to me about it. what an idiot

█▆▇▅▇█▇▆▄▁▃
Big PEMFin H & z's
"I ain't no entertainer, and ain't trying to be one. I am 1 thing, a musician." � Miles

"When the music stops he falls back in the abyss."

-------
so I'm in a band now:
album ---> http://greenwoodburns.bandcamp.com/releases
Soundcloud ---> http://soundcloud.com/greenwood-burns

my own stuff -->http://soundcloud.com/lonesomedstringband

avy by buckshot_defunct

my girl just turned 9... a few weeks back she came to me after her shower and told me she had some sort of discharge, didn't hurt, wasn't itchy, just... weird.

I told her to talk to her mother.

-------
so I'm in a band now:
album ---> http://greenwoodburns.bandcamp.com/releases
Soundcloud ---> http://soundcloud.com/greenwood-burns

my own stuff -->http://soundcloud.com/lonesomedstringband

avy by buckshot_defunct

... for fear of embarrassment of all things.

It'd be a sensible suggestion if these guys were uninformed and/or ignorant
(as a lot of men -and women- can be regarding female anatomy unfortunately).

If a father knows what he's talking about, I fail to see what harm can orrur
from speaking with his daughter about the changes within her body. In fact,
I think it's a conversation that can lay the foundation for inevitable future
situations regarding her sexuality/maturity.

The convo doesn't have be overly clinical or inappropriately perfunctory in nature,
it just has to be informative and reassuring that what's happening is normal.

i'm not sure why the honesty bothers or surprises you.

what do you imagine girls, with mothers around, want or need to hear from their fathers on this?

Despite having a number of male role models (including a step father)
in my life, the majority of the information I got regarding the changes
I experienced during puberty (and sex ed.) was from my mother.

I didn't even need to (nor would I have on my own accord) approach her with questions.
She addressed me preemptively... and I was both embarrassed AND grateful.

I'm surprised at the notion that a father couldn't provide the same
insight for his daughter and suspicious of what that opinion is based on.

...about menstruation. It felt weird. I was embarrassed.

I feel this is a topic most girls want to hear from their mothers or the women in their lives.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

Swiped from here:
http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/talk_about_menstruation.html?tracking=P_RelatedArticle#

"It's probably best to avoid "The Talk" about menstruation. Instead, try to spread it out into lots of smaller conversations.
Education about how the human body works should be continuous. Kids reaching puberty should already know what's going
to happen to their bodies. By providing kids with good information, parents will know that they're well-informed and able to
sort out any misinformation. Kids can often make certain aspects of puberty — menstruation, especially — sound bad and scary.
If that's the only information kids have, then that's what they'll believe.

It's also important for parents to paint the process of menstruation in a positive light. If a mother refers to her period as "the curse,"
her daughter might get a negative impression of the whole experience. Menstruation isn't just about having a period. It's a sign that
a girl is physically capable of becoming pregnant. During the menstrual cycle, hormones are released from different parts of the body
to help control and prepare the body for pregnancy. These hormones trigger certain changes in the lining of the uterus (and) stimulate
the maturing and release of the egg, or ovum, from the ovary. If the egg is fertilized by sperm, the fertilized egg will take about 2 to 4
days to travel down the fallopian tube. It will then attach to the thick, blood-rich lining of the uterus. If it's not fertilized, the egg begins
to fall apart and the uterine lining breaks down and is shed — this bleeding is what's known as a period.

In addition to understanding how menstruation works, girls need to be familiar with feminine-hygiene supplies (sanitary pads and tampons)
and they should know that sometimes periods may cause cramps when the muscles of the uterus contract. Explaining that everyone is
different is also key. For example, your daughter may be concerned that her body is changing more quickly — or more slowly — than
her friends' bodies."

See? Pretty straight-forward...

In addition to the above I would go over some of the physical changes my daughter can expect, such as:
1.) growth spurts in height and weight (possibly accompanied by stretch marks)
2.) breast development
3.) bodily hair (pits, pubes, arms, legs, and face)
4.) feminine odor
5.) oily skin and/or acne

It isn't rocket science and acting like the female reproductive system is something to be feared, fucked, or that's unfathomable because you're a man is problematic as hell.

when her body goes through those changes and letting my wife have that conversation.

Yall niggas swear yall got all the answers.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

>when her body goes through those changes and letting my wife
>have that conversation.
>
>Yall niggas swear yall got all the answers.


^^^^ And this is where I am with it. I'm a woman sharing my first-hand experience. I was uncomfortable with my father discussing menstruation -- and honestly, it wasn't even a talk. We were unpacking groceries, he pulled out my mom's maxi-pads and said to me "do you know what these are for?" I was embarrassed -- so I pretty much shut down this conversation. He and I didn't have the same "equipment," so he couldn't relate to me on that level.

I don't see why a father would have this discussion with his daughter if her mom is in the home.

I'm sharing my female perspective. Do with it what you will.

but I feel like the first period is prolly one of those topics that isn't on our check list.

I know my daughter and I will be thick as thieves but I can't see her wanting me to have that conversation with her when her mom is available.

I will be there if she needs a hug but I can't all her one thing about what she is feeling.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

... I made a distinction between informed fathers and those who are not (willfully ignorant men included). I agree it's probably for the best that ya'll stay in your lanes.

TheUltimate's father used an approach that hardly resembles what I've discussed or what imcvspl is likely to do. *Shrugs*

I know you think you are super intellectual sensitive man but nah... you prolly need to stfu and play the background on this one if you ever have a daughter.

then again, I'm prolly a sexist for telling our provider we were going to change from a white male pediatrician to an Asian female pediatrician.

oh well, shrugs...

the horror and ignorance of a male wanting the women in his daughter's life to educate her on menstruation and what it is to be a lady.

and lmao at lanes... what lane are you in?

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

RE:what lane are you in?

The "super soft feminist" lane, right?

Lol at you being upset because *I agree with you* that you're incapable of navigating a conversation on this topic with your daughter...

have you inserted a tampon in a vagina before?

incapable sounds harsh but you are correct. I have no problem admitting I'm incapable of telling my daughter what her first period feels like...

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

I know some OKP men pride themselves on being super soft feminist but bruh... not like this.


men and women are different.

sometimes it feels like y'all trying so hard to prop up equality that you end up ignoring wmthe words and request women are making on some issues.

I'm not articulating this well but I guess my point is let these women have this.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

>I'm not articulating this well but I guess my point is let these women have this.

Lol

I didn't realize my opinion was taking opportunities for discourse away from women
nor was I aware that it's my place to "let them have" hypothetical discussions with
their children. I'm advocating for a father's prerogative/duty to be involved in his
daughter's developmental well-being. Nothing else. And certainly not at the expense
of mothers who are in the picture.

These conversations CAN happen in tandem or with both parents present...

i actually feel the same way in regards to mothers and sons. in regards to something like "wet dreams" or getting erections randomly a father may be more understanding and knowledgeable about those things than a mother and can offer more advice and understanding. Yes we can all read the internet and learn things but sometimes that personal experience and touch is necessary.

Most women are saying they are okay with their dad not talking to them about it but in these instances, there are women available to talk to them. I'm sure if he were a single dad, the discussion might go a little different (although the suggestion to find a woman to do it would definitely pop up).

perhaps these conversations between fathers and daughters are so awkward b/c men (aka fathers) are socialized to stay out of the conversations.

so why should a father stay out? why can't he be part of the conversation?

i'd say the same as related to a mother being part of the conversation about her son's pubescent changes, btw.

note: i wish either of my parents had told me SOMETHING about what was going on w/my body. b/c both of them were so weird and shameful about the subject i got all of my info from school and the streets. b/c i could tell neither of them was comfortable talking to me and so i didn't feel comfortable talking to them. but i had lots of questions and i wish they'd done a better job at creating a space for us to talk. i think they could've done so by coming to ME about the subject - even if more than once.

fuck you.

Matter of fact I said dads CAN be involved...I just believe there are certain nuances that fathers cannot explain to his daughter in regards to getting a period. But I also gave an comparable exam of a mother/son dynamic as to not make it seem like STAY AWAY MEN. I just personally think some parts of the conversation the dad won't be able to relate too...many men have a hard time relating to them no in regards to their girlfriends.

again I said my dad did try to talk to me and it was awkward and uncomfortable for both of us...but it was also after my mom talked to me and so it felt like "why does this need to happen again?" I also stated how my father was involved and how special that was to me...I don't think he should ignore what's going on or to not have discussions with his daughter. But the PERIOD discussion can be had by his wife. I mean if he really wants to be involved then he can have a puberty discussion with his daughter and then defer to his wife about periods and the things she should be mindful of and expect. Periods are more than just "this is happening to your body." but also, pads vs tampons. the different sizes, period tracking, discretion in school (this is important to girls), what's best for me? carrying extra pads and tampons. blah blah. cardboard vs plastic. wings vs non wings.

>But the PERIOD discussion can be had by his wife.

^ this is what the post is about, player.

why should a dad stay out of a conversation about his daughter's period?

btw - the period discussion is about more than advice about products. isn't it? i dunno b/c i haven't had one of those discussions. LOL. i know if i'd been able to talk w/my parents about ejaculation i wouldn't have just wanted to know whether i should use a paper towel, dirty sock or dirty t-shirt to wipe up jizz. there was more going on than that. and i'd have appreciated it if my parents had been there to help me make sense of it all. i see no reason why a father can't be part of that discussion as related to his daughter's period. sure he can't advise her as to whether she wants wings on her pad or if she should use a pad at all but there are other elements of the discussion. right?

fuck you.

it means exactly what I said...it CAN be had by his wife. It CAN also be had by him. "Can" means be able to. His wife is able to have the convo...he doesn't HAVE to do it. Doesn't mean he can't.

The OP asked "So is there any role a dad can play? Anything you would have appreciated hearing from your dad? Or should I just stay the fuck out of the way."

Is there any role? YES, I gave an example.
Anything you would appreciate hearing from your dad? Not really, it was awkward.
Stay the fuck out of the way? I never said stay the fuck out of the way. that would defeat the him playing the role in the option I gave below.

But I appreciate you overlooking the examples I gave of how he may not be helpful and how the convo is MAY be best suited for his wife to have...its cool. But if you feel you can best talk about cramps, the bloating, the breasts tenderness, and the different sizes and types of pads and tampons then go for it. it's his child, he can do what he wants. again, periods are not the only thing that happens in puberty. Both parents should talk to their children about puberty.

fuck you.

fuck you.

i would definitely acknowledge it when it happens and let her know that if she has any questions she can go to you OR your mother and that there is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about

you don't necessarily have to go into specifics. lol.

i grew up in a 'mothers take care of the girlchildren' household and it's bullshit. especially if your mom isn't really instructional/nuturing. not that i would ever talk about that stuff with my dad now but i do see now that he probably would have been better suited to handle some things in that realm. my mom wasn't that helpful/willing

*************************************
like.me
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"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

Some men act like 15 year old boys when their daughter approaches them about the topic. It's life. Around the 2nd grade, I gave my oldest daughter this book...

http://www.amazon.com/The-Care-Keeping-You-Younger/dp/1609580834

My daughter nor I are fans of American Girl products, but the book is pretty good. It discusses everything from the physical (breast development, periods, hair growth, etc) to the emotional (moodiness). There are some illustrations, but they are not offensive.

I talk to my daughter ALOT about this stuff, but I gave her the book to supplement my talks in the event there was something she felt uncomfortable discussing or she could read it on her own and come to me with additional questions.

The talks have to be repeated because they will forget half of what you told them. Not to mention what they choose to focus on at 10 could be different at 10 1/2 or 11.

I also took her to Target and went to the feminine product aisle to show her all the choices available to her and how they differed.

Everything will be fine. The anticipation is worse than the event.

let your wife handle it...my dad tried to talk to me ONE TIME about puberty and things of that nature and it was so awkward and uncomfortable for both of us...men don't understand periods or what women go through, so I don't see the point. Just ask your wife to have a talk with her and let it be.

The only thing you could do is recognize it's the time of the month and hook her up on snacks or whatever she needs but don't be obvious about it. Just get what you know she likes and say "I got you some snacks while i was out." and that would be so dope.

Once I got my period at my dad's and his girlfriend came through with the assist like "oh there are things there, if you need anything let me know, i'll send your dad. do you want anything? snacks soda?" i was like YAS. and after that my dad just kept things in his house for me, but didn't mention it at all. he also kept my fav snacks stacked.

Christ. He should be, frankly, all up and through this conversation and I'm super glad he's asking. As embarrassed as it might make her in this moment, the more he is engaged, the more he will teach her that there's nothing to be embarrassed about, and the less embarrassed she will be. THIS is how you create, mature body-positive girls who have the language and the confidence to communicate about what's going on in their bodies and who turn into women who make body-positive decisions and appreciate the role their dads played in their lives. Not by treating the shit as taboo and only something women should talk about.

Idiots. The lot of you.

.

*************************************
like.me
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"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

fuck you.

-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.

They both learn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rw8tKF9D_0A

and RAN SCREAMING from the bathroom afterward. b/c i imagined that's what was happening inside my mother when she used one. and i had little idea how or where she used one. still, i was not ready for what i saw in the bowl. LOL

fuck you.

And I damned near died when my mother told me what time it was. Luckily, I had my mom and sister-in-law around to help my daughter that weekend. I just hugged her and said, "Things are changing. You're growing up much faster than I wanted you to and envisioned you would. Please know that I'm here for you now and will always be around as life comes your way. I apologize that I can't help with his shit though."

That last sentence is fictitious as fuck.

Good luck helping your lil girl get through it.

Edit: As others have said, she'll come to you if she wants. Again, I'm just glad I had women, while my daughter adores and respects, around to chip in. Her fuck ass mother was enjoying her summer while I was stressing like shit after that. LMAO

...

here's a thing i have learned
from the women i have dated
or friends.

if a woman is closed to her dad
no matter if her parents are divorced,
a guy have to come correct.

you don't have to have the shotgun
because your daughters will have
the shotgun.