I have a confession.

I'm going through a lot of big changes in my life right now. Having just moved to LA, working all day on scripts, networking, trying to pinch every penny and make ends meet... it's been a joy, but it's incredibly taxing. The most unfortunate result of this is... my creativity at the end of each day is utterly sapped.

Every year, save one, I've done a Spilled Latte Ceremony a la Billy Crystal. It's always been enormously fun to compose, and I always love the feedback I get on it. However, it usually takes me several days just to put something together I deem worthy of posting. When it comes to creative outlets like this, I am a perfectionist, for better and worse.

And this year, with all of excuses and pleas ready within arm's reach, I simply can't bring you a Spilled Latte Ceremony worthy of entry. All of my energy goes into my scripts, and when I'm not writing, I'm attempting to unwind and maintain my sanity, not focusing on other creative writing projects. And the Lattes would take more focus than I can provide right now.

It didn't help that I was attempting to do something more ambitious than usual: an opening number. Finding the right song to parody, getting the right lyrics and rhythms... it's just not going to happen. Especially with my professional life kicking into overdrive and the NCAA Tournament coming up. There's just no way. And I apologize. I'm disappointed, as I hate quitting. But there's just no way to get it done in a timely manner.

Next year, hopefully I'll be able to pull off my ambitious musical number-- I'll likely start it earlier.

I will post the one song verse that I finished.

"Watching old people die while we sniffle and cry
That’s Amour, eh?
When life’s a cruel joke, and your wife has a stroke
That’s Amour, eh?
When birds get in your house after offing your spouse
That’s Amour, eh?
The filmgoers grieved, TheProfessional’s peeved
At Amour, eh!"

Ahem. Anyhow. My apologies to the few of you who look forward to it every year as much as I do. I'll work something out next year, as I'll also look to work something out to increase interest in the Lattes in general.

On to the results.

For Best Original Score:
In 5th place, Thomas Newman for Skyfall.
Tied for 3rd place, Hans Zimmer for The Dark Knight Rises, and Tom Tykwer, Reinhold Heil, & Johnny Klimek for Cloud Atlas.
In 2nd place, Jonny Greenwood for The Master.
And the winner of the Spilled Latte for Best Original Score... Benh Zeitlin & Dan Romer for Beasts of the Southern Wild!

For Best Cinematography:
Tied for 4th place, Dariusz Wolski for Prometheus and Robert Yeoman for Moonrise Kingdom.
In 3rd place, Claudio Miranda for Life of Pi.
In 2nd place, Mihai Malaimare for The Master.
And the winner of the Spilled Latte for Best Cinematography... Roger Deakins for Skyfall!

This is Roger's second Spilled Latte win, putting him in a prestigious class with Christopher Nolan, Paul Thomas Anderson, and Wally Pfister as two-time Latte winners.

For Best Original Screenplay:
In 5th place, Martin McDonagh for Seven Psychopaths.
In 4th place, Quentin Tarantino for Django Unchained.
In 3rd place, Rian Johnson for Looper.
In 2nd place, Mark Boal for Zero Dark Thirty.
And the winner of the Spilled Latte for Best Original Screenplay... Wes Anderson & Roman Coppola for Moonrise Kingdom!

For Best Adapted Screenplay:
In a three-way 4th place tie, Stephen Chbosky for The Perks of Being a Wallflower, David Magee for Life of Pi, and Tom Tykwer & The Wachowskis for Cloud Atlas.
In 3rd place, Joe Carnahan & Ian Mackenzie Jeffers for The Grey.
In 2nd place, Chris Terrio for Argo.
And the winner of the Spilled Latte for Best Adapted Screenplay... Tony Kushner for Lincoln!

For Best Supporting Actress:
In 5th place, Lorraine Toussaint for Middle of Nowhere.
In 4th place, Helen Hunt for The Sessions.
In 3rd place, Sally Field for Lincoln.
In 2nd place, Doona Bae for Cloud Atlas.
And the winner of the Spilled Latte for Best Supporting Actress... Amy Adams for The Master!

So after two nominations resulting in fifth place finishes, Amy Adams gets a Latte. Third time's a charm!

For Best Supporting Actor:
In 5th place, Sam Rockwell for Seven Psychopaths.
In 4th place, Leonardo DiCaprio for Django Unchained.
Tied for 2nd place, Dwight Henry for Beasts of the Southern Wild and Philip Seymour Hoffman for The Master.
And the winner of the Spilled Latte for Best Supporting Actor... Tommy Lee Jones for Lincoln!

For Best Actress:
Tied for 5th place, Marion Cotillard for Rust & Bone and Ann Dowd for Compliance.
In 4th place, Emayatzy Corinealdi for Middle of Nowhere.
In 3rd place, Emmanuelle Riva for Amour.
In 2nd place, Jessica Chastain for Zero Dark Thirty.
And the winner of the Spilled Latte for Best Actress, winning by a one-point margin... Quvenzhane Wallis for Beasts of the Southern Wild!

This marks the youngest winner of a Latte ever, and the second time the Best Actress Latte goes to someone making their feature film debut. It previously went to Hailee Steinfeld for True Grit.

For Best Actor:
In 5th place, Denis Lavant for Holy Motors.
Tied for 3rd place, Liam Neeson for The Grey and Denzel Washington for Flight.
In 2nd place, Joaquin Phoenix for The Master.
And the winner of the Spilled Latte for Best Actor... Daniel Day-Lewis for Lincoln!

This puts DDL into the prestigious Two Latte category as well. Congrats, Danny Boy.

For Best Director:
Tied for 5th place, Leos Carax for Holy Motors and Benh Zeitlin for Beasts of the Southern Wild.
In 4th place, Michael Haneke for Amour.
In 3rd place, Kathryn Bigelow for Zero Dark Thirty.
In 2nd place, Paul Thomas Anderson for The Master.
And the winner of the Spilled Latte for Best Director... Ben Affleck for Argo!

This marks the third year in a row the Latte winner for Best Director was not nominated for an Oscar in the same category.

Now, the moment we've all been waiting for...

For Best Picture:
In 5th place, Moonrise Kingdom.
In 4th place, Holy Motors.
In 3rd place, Amour.
In 2nd place, Zero Dark Thirty.
And the winner of the Spilled Latte for Best Picture... The Master!

So Lincoln leads the way with three Lattes, while Beasts of the Southern Wild and The Master each get two. Congratulations to all the winners, and looking forward to next year!

***

Here are the nominees (a.k.a. the Top 5 votegetters) for the Sixth Annual Spilled Latte Awards. Note: some categories may have more than 5 nominees due to a tie in the amount of votes the nominees received. The results are in-- no need to vote on these-- and will be announced the day after the Oscars, in order to steal their shine.

For the second year in a row, a film mostly snubbed by the Academy leads the Spilled Latte Award nominees: The Master, with seven nominations, tying with Drive and No Country For Old Men for the second highest number of noms for a single film in Spilled Lattes history.

Once again, for the second year in a row, no Best Picture Academy Award nominee reached five Spilled Latte nominations. Beasts of the Southern Wild, Lincoln, and Zero Dark Thirty did all reach four nominations a piece. Lincoln and The Master both received three acting nominations a piece, matching the Academy ballot. Amour, Cloud Atlas, and Moonrise Kingdom settled for three a piece.

Some Spilled Latte nomination trivia:

- this year marks the most acting nominations for African-American actors in Spilled Latte history with five.

- before this year, there were only two nominations for actors in foreign language films in the Lattes' five-year history. This year, there are three foreign language role nominees, including two in the same category.

- there have also never been any foreign language films nominated for Best Picture. In this year, 40% of the category is made up of foreigners!

- Roger Deakins has only failed to receive a nomination once. After last year's snub, this year Deakins is back on the board.

- Ben Affleck's nomination for Best Director marks the first time a film received a director nod without a Best Picture nomination OR any actor accolades.

Among this year's second-time nominees: Daniel Day-Lewis, Jessica Chastain, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Tommy Lee Jones, Kathryn Bigelow, Mark Boal, Rian Johnson, Hans Zimmer, Claudio Miranda. Quentin Tarantino receives his third nomination.

Amy Adams also receives her third nomination, making her the most nominated actor in Spilled Latte history. She came in fifth place with each of her previous nominations, for her work in The Fighter and Doubt.

Tom Tykwer and Benh Zeitlin enter the elite club of those nominated twice, joining Quentin Tarantino, Casey Affleck, Jeff Nichols, Steven Zaillan, Christopher Nolan, Danny Boyle, the Coens, Spike Jonze, Neill Blomkamp, Paul Thomas Anderson, Andrew Dominik, and, of course, Roger Deakins.

BEST PICTURE:
Amour
Holy Motors
The Master
Moonrise Kingdom
Zero Dark Thirty

BEST DIRECTOR:
Ben Affleck, Argo
Paul Thomas Anderson, The Master
Kathryn Bigelow, Zero Dark Thirty
Leos Carax, Holy Motors
Michael Haneke, Amour
Benh Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild

BEST ACTOR:
Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
Denis Lavant, Holy Motors
Liam Neeson, The Grey
Joaquin Phoenix, The Master
Denzel Washington, Flight

BEST ACTRESS:
Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
Emayatzy Corinealdi, Middle of Nowhere
Marion Cotillard, Rust and Bone
Ann Dowd, Compliance
Emmanuelle Riva, Amour
Quvenzhane Wallis, Beasts of the Southern Wild

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR:
Leonardo DiCaprio, Django Unchained
Dwight Henry, Beasts of the Southern Wild
Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln
Sam Rockwell, Seven Psychopaths

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:
Amy Adams, The Master
Doona Bae, Cloud Atlas
Sally Field, Lincoln
Helen Hunt, The Sessions
Lorraine Toussaint, Middle of Nowhere

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY:
Joe Carnahan & Ian Mackenzie Jeffers, The Grey
Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Tony Kushner, Lincoln
David Magee, Life of Pi
Chris Terrio, Argo
Tom Tykwer & The Wachowskis, Cloud Atlas

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY:
Wes Anderson & Roman Coppola, Moonrise Kingdom
Mark Boal, Zero Dark Thirty
Rian Johnson, Looper
Martin McDonagh, Seven Psychopaths
Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY:
Roger Deakins, Skyfall
Mihai Malaimare, The Master
Claudio Miranda, Life of Pi
Dariusz Wolski, Prometheus
Robert Yeoman, Moonrise Kingdom

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE:
Jonny Greenwood, The Master
Thomas Newman, Skyfall
Tom Tykwer, Reinhold Heil, & Johnny Klimek, Cloud Atlas
Benh Zeitlin & Dan Romer, Beasts of the Southern Wild
Hans Zimmer, The Dark Knight Rises

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
My beer TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebeertravelguide

these awards are bordering on parody now. if my unscientific guesswork is correct, we're about to crown a film best picture that made substantially less than a million dollars at the box office. that's a joke. why don't we just crown a youtube video. the lattes are now basically just a pissing contest where people brag about the most obscure and overlooked movies they've seen. it's the empty theater spirit awards. y'all snobs are ruining this.

"i smack clowns with nouns, punch herbs with verbs..."

Blame the people who didn't take the time to vote. I try to get more people to vote every goddamn year.

Second of all, there are nominations for independent films every year. This year isn't that different. At all. A few passionate defenders for a picture or performance usually get it on the ballot.

Third of all, foreign films are bigger this year everywhere, not just on the boards. So though it's an anomaly, it's technically an annual anomaly.

Fourth of all, the film you hate doesn't win. So poor guesswork, lol.

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
My beer TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebeertravelguide

where once finished I will have seen all the best picture nominees for this year, I was gonna make some nominations after then. Guess I missed the boat.....



You gon' live forever
Whether you want to or not
Some of us gon' end up holy
Some of us gon' end up hot.....

the problem is the people who did vote, who are more concerned with everyone being impressed with their choices than they are with picking the best films of the year. we need to kill these public ballots, 'cause our best picture list isn't even close to being representative of the best work done on film in 2012. not even close. the academy's list crushes ours. the five worst films on the academy's list crushes ours. it's by far the worst list i've seen from any group this year. a snobby, elitist art house circle jerk. complete garbage.

"i smack clowns with nouns, punch herbs with verbs..."

People who prefer artsy films always vote that way.

People who toe the line always toe the line.

People who prefer mainstream always vote mainstream.

Amour wouldn't sniff my Top 5, but Holy Motors was the best film I saw this year, and I thoroughly enjoyed The Master, Moonrise Kingdom, and Zero Dark Thirty. If you saw what finished 6-10, you would know that one more person giving a high vote to something like Beasts or Argo would have put it in the best picture race (as you can tell by the Best Director nods).

The problem wasn't the artsy folks, who vote artsy every year. The problem is the mainstream people, who didn't show up.

And if you're so outraged by it, help publicize to get more people of your like mind to vote next year. I did my damnedest to make sure people saw Holy Motors, and it paid off-- it snuck onto the ballot, I'd like to think as a result of the hard work I did spreading my love of the film.

Same happened for Middle of Nowhere, a beautiful film. And yes, the same for Amour, which I didn't connect with, but many people did. And the same thing happened for Compliance, a film I absolutely fucking hated. Yet I'm not outraged at Ann Dowd's inclusion despite my vehement disagreement.

This accusation that "people vote to impress artsy farts" is weird, as most of the people who voted for things like Amour, The Master, or Holy Motors... also voted for multiple films that grossed $100+ mil. Only a couple of films on the ballot as a whole would even qualify as "indie."

Finally, I should remind you that you got mad last year but you were more fine with the winners than the nominees. The same will likely happen again-- this is what happens on a ballot with preferential ranking. Things get nominated and are "happy to be nominated," but the bigger things nearly ALWAYS win.

So relax, friend. This is meant for fun, not for aneurysms.

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
My beer TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebeertravelguide

.

----

You don't like the results, get more people to participate

___________________________________________________________________________
Sorry, niggas, for knowing shit.

THEY'RE FUCKING GOOD.
Quit complaining about how unfair the internet is.


"Your current frequencies of understanding outweigh that which has been given for you to understand." Saul Williams

all five best picture nominees are GOOD FILMS.

Get Out the Room
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/get-out-the-room/id525657893

Some of y'all need this in your life: http://www.psychology.com

You know? The whole big hullabaloo?


"Your current frequencies of understanding outweigh that which has been given for you to understand." Saul Williams

http://www.imdb.com/search/title?sort=boxoffice_gross_us,asc&title_type=feature&year=2012,2012

"i smack clowns with nouns, punch herbs with verbs..."

It'll likely have to wait til beginning of next week.

:-/

Sorry, gang.

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
My beer TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebeertravelguide

She's been refreshing obsessively since Monday.

--------

hell-below.com

"Your current frequencies of understanding outweigh that which has been given for you to understand." Saul Williams

apology accepted, but only 'cause i got a shout-out in the amour song.

yeah, these picks are awful though. the master was a failure both artistically and commercially. our best picture of the year was a series of tangentially-related, well-delivered monologues separated by long, pretentious visual tone poems of joaquin phoenix pacing and muttering. congrats. affleck for best director is just us, like everyone else, overreacting to his oscar snub. if we'd voted in early january, he wouldn't have even been nominated. how is it that the best director didn't make one of the five best films or direct a single nomination-worthy performance? yeah, that makes sense. the acting picks were bland and unoriginal, aside from quvenzhane. d-day as best actor was a layup. everyone made that shot. amy adams and tommy lee jones? zzzzzzzzzzzzz....

it's actually fitting that these awards didn't get a show. good call, frank. we didn't deserve one. we're a bunch of snooty-tooty snobs who should all meet up at coffee bean ('cause starbucks is too mainstream) to discuss how much we hate movies, especially ones that are entertaining, engaging, and successful.

"i smack clowns with nouns, punch herbs with verbs..."

Lincoln (3 wins), Affleck, Skyfall, Zero Dark Thirty (3 runner-up finishes)...well, aside from the fact that of all the people who spent weeks arguing with O_E, none of them voted for Django.

although I'm not mad at you exercising your "right to vote, right to complain" clause.

--------

that right there illustrates how the lattes is now the "we're smarter and more cultured than everyone else" awards. holy motors made $650,000. that's not a typo. the holy motors discussion post has been up since november and it has five replies. yet somehow, this film that almost literally must have only been seen by people who post in PTP-- people who didn't feel it was all that worthy of discussion-- got three nominations. one more than django, which has made $160 million and whose overwhelmingly positive discussion post went quintuple platinum (or triple platinum if you want to not count OE's OCD-esque contribution).

this is a perfect contrasting example of how the lattes is now just the "overlooked by audiences, critics, or awards" awards, the "we alone understood the hidden incoherent brilliance of the master unlike every other person who saw the film" awards. a bunch of snobs sitting around bragging about the obscurity of the films we've seen, and turning our noses up at films that are too entertaining or successful for our soy-milk-fueled tastes.

"i smack clowns with nouns, punch herbs with verbs..."

if just a few of the dozens who spent hours discussing the validity of Django on PTP had cared to vote for it, it would've placed. I'd love to see more ballots cast, and have some thoughts to that matter for the next Latte edition.

--------

>if just a few of the dozens who spent hours discussing the
>validity of Django on PTP had cared to vote for it, it
>would've placed.

I'm mad every year about some film I loved not placing, sitting and wishing I'd convinced one more person who I knew loved the film to vote. It's just the nature of the thing.

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
My beer TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebeertravelguide

it's not. the problem is the people who are voting acting like a bunch of phonies. PTP's demographic is young, racially-diverse, mostly male, and you mean to tell me we think the master was the best film made in 2012? amour was one of the five best? we don't believe you.

nothing about our nominations or winners reflects this board, and that's the problem. and it's getting worse by the year. it'd make way more sense if the avengers snagged a few noms. instead, our best picture list looks like it could've been made by the albuquerque branch of the AARP. it's phony. we could get a hundred more people to vote, and that'd be great, but if they're all just trying to impress everybody with their snooty lists, we're gonna have the same problem.

"i smack clowns with nouns, punch herbs with verbs..."

Just watching from afar, but have the lists reflected the general taste of those who voted?

------------------------------------------
America from 9:00 on: https://youtu.be/GUwLCQU10KQ

Most of the things ThePro gave 5 or 4 points to was nominated, and three of the ten won.

No, Killer Joe and The Raid: Redemption weren't rewarded but most of what you gave high votes to won or was nominated.

Only four of my ten winners won the actual Lattes. Again, my high point totals were mostly nominated. Same as you, though my Cosmopolis love didn't even pay off in a single nomination for the film.

The Lattes never reflect everyone's opinions perfectly. But everyone usually gets three or four of their winners to win, and many of the things you give 5 or 4 points to have good odds at getting nominated. That's just how it works.

The "artsiest" nominations, undoubtedly every year given in one or two ballots, are usually the ones that get ZERO wins and very few nominations on the ballots.

So I don't think there's anything inherently wrong or elitist with this list. Just as with any voting body, everybody usually gets something, and no one gets everything.

The Master didn't make my Top 5, but no one sees me screaming in here, lol.

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
My beer TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebeertravelguide

In this case, most of the latte-sippers turned out and most of the populists stayed home. If they submitted ballots too, maybe we'd have a more representative list. Next year you should wage a GOTV campaign to make sure the people who share your opinion make their voices heard.

----

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
My beer TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebeertravelguide

look where we're at, kids. look around you. this is a hip-hop message board. made up of a racially diverse crowd of 20- and 30-somethings-- mostly male, mostly urban (philly, NYC, LA). does anybody here think there's any subset of this crowd, even a small one, that genuinely believed amour was one of the five best films of 2012? no. what we have is a subset of this crowd that's trying to impress other subsets of this crowd, so they vote for the artsy-fartsy french flick about an old man chasing a pigeon around his apartment. that has to stop.

there's no excuse for amour showing up on our best picture list. no excuse for the master taking top honors. that's not okay, player. it's not us. it's phony.

"i smack clowns with nouns, punch herbs with verbs..."

>look where we're at, kids. look around you. this is a
>hip-hop message board. made up of a racially diverse crowd of
>20- and 30-somethings-- mostly male, mostly urban (philly,
>NYC, LA). does anybody here think there's any subset of this
>crowd, even a small one, that genuinely believed amour was one
>of the five best films of 2012? no. what we have is a subset
>of this crowd that's trying to impress other subsets of this
>crowd, so they vote for the artsy-fartsy french flick about an
>old man chasing a pigeon around his apartment. that has to
>stop.
>
>there's no excuse for amour showing up on our best picture
>list. no excuse for the master taking top honors. that's not
>okay, player. it's not us. it's phony.

Is it not possible that they merely... have a different opinion?

I'm not over the moon on Amour either, for the record, and only gave it points in the Actress category, so it's not like I'm artsy fartsing it here. I'm just defending both the process and the right for people to support their opinion.

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
My beer TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebeertravelguide

or enough of everyone to push it into the best picture and best director lists. considering how limited its release was, the ratio of people here who had even seen it to those who then voted for it had to be overwhelming. for a film as inaccessible as amour-- subtitled (hey, it's an issue for some people), french, cold, unsentimental, confusing (even to people who liked it), a two-hour film shot entirely in one setting with mostly just two characters, sloth-like pacing, etc.-- it doesn't pass the smell test for me. and the master had similar issues.

if this was a message board for owners of motorized wheelchairs or a french film school, maybe. but not around these parts. not this demo. it's some snob stuntin' going on.

"i smack clowns with nouns, punch herbs with verbs..."

>or enough of everyone to push it into the best picture and
>best director lists. considering how limited its release was,
>the ratio of people here who had even seen it to those who
>then voted for it had to be overwhelming. for a film as
>inaccessible as amour-- subtitled (hey, it's an issue for some
>people), french, cold, unsentimental, confusing (even to
>people who liked it), a two-hour film shot entirely in one
>setting with mostly just two characters, sloth-like pacing,
>etc.-- it doesn't pass the smell test for me. and the master
>had similar issues.
>
>if this was a message board for owners of motorized
>wheelchairs or a french film school, maybe. but not around
>these parts. not this demo. it's some snob stuntin' going
>on.

Because if only four people were super passionate about Amour, and they were collectively joining forces in supporting it, then it got on. That's maybe twenty percent of the votes. But four 4-or-5 point votes got you on the ballot this year-- DIRECTLY because of the lack of turnout, and because of how different everyone's tastes were this year.

There were more films that got 4 and 5 point votes this year than maybe ever before, even with the voter count drop off. Everyone had different opinions. Which is a good thing.

So all it took was four people voting highly... or maybe three people voting highly and two voting lowly. That would get you in this year with everyone's preferences all over the map.

If Django had ONE more 5-point vote, it might have gotten into the nominee pool. It's nearly always that close, every year... but this year seemed to be less consensus bound than others.

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
My beer TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebeertravelguide

next year, we're rallying the unwashed masses against these empty theater aristocrats. torches and pitchforks.

"i smack clowns with nouns, punch herbs with verbs..."

And then maybe that would make the artsy farts rally their troops as well.

And them voting would be through the roof.

My dream, really.

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
My beer TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebeertravelguide

*one* more vote for Looper would've put it above Amour.

*two* more votes for The Grey would've put it over The Master.

so yeah, these are the impossible margins our art house style ruled the Lattes with. Janus could've swung this entire list with one ballot.

--------

>the master was a failure
>both artistically and commercially.

LOL.

>our best picture of the
>year was a series of tangentially-related, well-delivered
>monologues separated by long, pretentious visual tone poems of
>joaquin phoenix pacing and muttering. congrats.

LOL.

>affleck for
>best director is just us, like everyone else, overreacting to
>his oscar snub.

LOL. I honestly don't think any of our voters were impacted one way or the other by Oscar nominations. Haneke was our only nominee who actually got an Oscar nomination, and he had zero chance of actually winning an Oscar.

>it's actually fitting that these awards didn't get a show.
>good call, frank. we didn't deserve one. we're a bunch of
>snooty-tooty snobs who should all meet up at coffee bean
>('cause starbucks is too mainstream) to discuss how much we
>hate movies, especially ones that are entertaining, engaging,
>and successful.

LOL. BOTSW dominated your ballot (rightfully so), but it was easily as un-mainstream, non-traditional, and "artsy" as any of the movies you're bitching about. Cappuccinos are only OK if you're drinking them too?

----

>BOTSW dominated your ballot (rightfully so), but it was
>easily as un-mainstream, non-traditional, and "artsy" as any
>of the movies you're bitching about. Cappuccinos are only OK
>if you're drinking them too?

yeah, beasts dominated my ballot and that's a fantastic point you're making if you saw absolutely nothing else on my ballot. three of my five best picture nominees cracked $150 million at the box office (django, wreck-it ralph, hobbit), the other $50 million (the grey). django unchained ($390 million worldwide) also dominated my ballot and i picked it as my best picture of the year. so you make a great point other than all that.

look, i'm not out to impress anybody with the emptiness of the theaters i frequent. and i'm not holding a grudge against the indies either (beasts + drive and margin call last year). i just pick the five best movies. wish everyone else would do the same.

"i smack clowns with nouns, punch herbs with verbs..."

>the master was a failure
>both artistically and commercially. our best picture of the
>year was a series of tangentially-related, well-delivered
>monologues separated by long, pretentious visual tone poems of
>joaquin phoenix pacing and muttering. congrats.

^^^All of that is true. When people come and tell me they like this shit, but hate Malick flicks I wanna punch these dumb niggas in the face after a thorough prison shanking.

------------------------------------------
America from 9:00 on: https://youtu.be/GUwLCQU10KQ

GOT DAMN.

I couldn't help thinking how much better it was than The Master

I liked the song & probably won't see the movie but that was a spoiler w/ Amour eh?

"Your current frequencies of understanding outweigh that which has been given for you to understand." Saul Williams

Appreciate the work of tallying up the votes, even if we didn't get a full-blown monologue this year. Nice work on the Amour parody, by the way. I think that would have actually slayed at the real Oscars...

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anything until it hits DVD. I see maybe 2-3 films a year in actual theaters. But guess what...I still would have voted for The Master. GOOD!!!

Thanks for doing it. I didn't vote either because I wouldn't have felt right, not having seen everything. But I enjoyed reading this "ceremony" all the same. Thanks again.