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that this post was directed at me, but I understand what you did now. You freed 2 doves w/ one key. Okay. Well let me go down and respond:
>>Black men, for some time now >>haven't (as a collective) been >>able to step up to >>the plate when it comes >>to the protection of black >>women and children. It is >>quite sad. > >Bullshit. >I know PLENTY of men BREAKING >THEIR BACKS TO HANDLE THEIRS...
My brother is like that. He works 16 hours a day as a steelworker, which he HATES, to send his child to private school, so she can go to yale or harvard when she graduates high school. PLUS, he paid my bills and sent me money the whole time I was in professional school. So BELIEVE that there are good Black men out there. This, I do know.
>>I can only HOPE you find >that BLACK MEN are just >as DIVERSE as BLACK WOMEN...That's >one of the reasons a >lotta chicks get they hearts >bruk up by fake thugs, >but lemme chill...
I hope this too, for ALL Sistahs. Good Black men are hard to find though. Once a Sistah, or white women, or whomever finds one, she's not stupid. She's gonna hang on to him, 'cuz they are far and few between. I can't attest to the thug thing though, because I am not attracted to men like that in real life(I DO think Treach is fine from NaughtyByNature though ) >>IMMATURE SEXUAL ACTS, IMMATURE PIX FOR >FATHERS & PROMISCUITY(<<<<How come females >NEVER discuss this OPENLY...Ya'll wanna >pull cards? Watch one >of those Maury Povich, "WHO'S >THE DADDY" episodes some day >and tell me about the >lack of fatherhood, when a >bunch of the shit is >just LACK OF WOMANHOOD! >And YES that type shit >goes down.)
Yes, we can discuss this. Disjointed families do indeed result from women making poor choices in the men that they sleep with, or accepting whomever comes "smellin' around her", as my grandmother would say. That definitely speaks to a lack of womanhood, a lack of self-respect, and a fear of being alone. We've all been there. There is no shame in acknowledging this. BUT, the question comes for me in those low moments, "Am I going to allow myself to make a decision from this Space, which might degrade me, and which I might REGRET and feel ASHAMED about later?" THAT is what stops me. For those who lack that Inner Voice, or fail to listen to it, God help them. But once the children are here or whatever, I've seen "many a ho" take care of her children, BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. So in those cases, it might not be the best thing that her children were born in the context of her being a "ho", but she's handlin' hers NOW, and deserves RESPECT for that.
>>But what really ASTONISHED me is >YOU GOT FELT!
What do you mean by this statement, exactly?
>>I think you are right. But > >>a large part of that >>comes from men's original insult >>at the way their mothers >>did not pay enough attention >>to them for whatever reasons, >>which translates into adult mysogyny, >>OR experiencing a broken-heart early >>in life which chafes them >>for life, > >^^^^^Excellent point. I'll give you >a first person counter point >on that last one. > > and causes them >>to lack respect for ALL >>women just because ONE woman >>supposedly "done them wrong". That >>is THEIR problem though, and >>THEY have to solve it. > >PRETTY MUCH. > >>Black women can't do that >>FOR them. We can only >>facilitate, and be supportive. That >>is what Iyanla Vanzant's Spirit >>of a Man is all >>about. > >What you said is TRUE...If ya >heart gets all bruk up >real young it can take >away your CONFIDENCE in your >MANHOOD...However, most men, LIKE THEIR >FEMALE COUNTERPARTS, utilize survival skills...And >come to whatever conclusions thy >will based on what women >and relatioships they have chosen >to PAY ATTETION to.
Now see HERE is where we disagree. I don't think most men use survival skills like women do. Eventually, a woman will open her heart up to the right man who can touch her in a way that makes her feel unafraid of being vulnerable again. Men don't do that. Even when they pursue future relationships, they tend to keep SOME part of their heart tucked away, afraid that they might get hurt again, like they did before. Like they just can't let themselves COMPLETELY go again.
>>A funny thing, I also noticed >is you didn't mention another >VERY IMPORTANT rean for the >"women ain't shit" mentality... > >Little boys whose mothers are straight >up HOES...It's funny how ya'll >NEVER discuss how PROMISCUITY can >DEVASTATE children...Do ya'll feel that >that topic is LIMITED to >HOE MOMMAS??? There are >HOE DADDIES in the world.
Yeah, there are plenty of ho-dads and ho-moms in the world. But as long as they emotionally and financially support their children with zeal and passion once they arrive, I'm not mad at 'em.
>>But ya'll know this already... >Yeah, ya'll know, you just don't >wanna face up to it >like that...
I don't mind facing up to it. I KNOW that it is the woman who brings the man to good things. That is why I FIRMLY believe that if Black women REFUSED to accept inappropriate behavior from Black men, y'all would shape up. IN A HEARTBEAT. 'Cuz all o' y'all don't WANT white women, and aren't going to run to them because we are "too demanding". But, that is a collective decision that Sistahs have to make in order to revolutionize our own community, and I know we just aren't there yet. This is something that could have been settled at the MWM, but ANYway.....
>>Isn't it funny though, that when >>women get broken-hearted, and then >>are very guarded in dealing >>w/ future men, she is >>accused of being bitter, but >>when men do the same >>thing in the form of >>"hittin' it and leaving" or >>copping a "women ain't shit" >>attitude, THEY are just being >>"hard", or men. There is >>something INHERENTLY WRONG with the >>cultural acceptance of that which >>exists at this time. > > >Well first off, I don't think >that you wanna bring up >that whole, >"hittin it and quitting" routine in >this discussion, cuz NOT ONLY > >do most of these SILLY young >girls DIG that type of >SHIT(WHAT A PARADOX!), but a >couple of the people in >this forum that are responding >to this post got here >as a result of some >SILLY cluck who thought they >could lock down some HOE >ass man by havin his >kid.
You dealt with alot in this segment, but I'll just address the part about women like for men to "hit it and dip". What women do YOU know? NO woman wants that! Not a one. Now, if she is in a Space where she wants casual relationships, she might sleep around while she is on the rebound, or whatever. Even when women SAY they want a casual relationship, if she is only sleeping with one guy, she is lying, and secretly wanting a relationship with that guy. Women might PLAY like they want to keep things light, out of fear that admitting their real feelings will scare the guy off.
>>AIN'T NOTHIN' COMING OUT OF OR >GOIN' BETWEEN THOSE THIGHS GONNA >KEEP A MAN IF HE >CAN'T OR DOESN'T FIRST RESPECT, >ADMIRE AND HONESTLY LOVE A >WOMAN.
TRue, BUT I think Black men in particular have this nun-like image of what a woman has to be to merit respect. Like a woman can't be sensual, intelligent, and worthy of high regard simultaneously .
>>But fatherlessness is TOTALLY a man's >fault...
agreed.
>>Uhhmmm...I also notice we didn't >mention chicks who USE they >kids and the law to >push away a man they >hate...Forcing suffering on the man >who TRULY LOVES they children.
I did not think to mention that, but we can discuss it. That is wrong too. I think that is what the organization DADS, Inc. is fighting to address, though.
>>Ya'll wanna talk. I'm saying...Let's >talk about it!!!
"Don't Hate the PLAYA Boy...hate the GAME," Granddad Freeman of the Boondocks(7-11-99)
*Twenty-three percent of women are "autoerotic singles" — they prefer to achieve sexual satisfaction alone(source-bet.com)
*If U have won a Grammy, one of two things are at play: 1. Your shit is TIGHT 2. U are white -(Me)
"'Cuz U answer the phone 'peace' that means U not a freak?"-The Questions(c) Common
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Oooo baby I like it raw. Oooo baby I like it RAAAW!(c)ODB- Shimmy Shimmy Ya
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