After becoming Twin Galaxies world champ at some arcade joints, I decided it was high time to erase the shame of never beating the first Super Mario Bros. Then I remembered that I'd never beat the second one, either. I decided to just beat all the fucking Mario games.

Last night I finished up SMB 3, and now I'm gonna do World. I've beat both of those before. After that, though, I'm in uncharted waters. I played Mario 64 some, but not really seriously. I've never touched Galaxy, much less RPG or Paper Mario or any of that stuff.

I'll do Lost Levels after Super Mario World, since that's the order they came out in over here. I fear Lost Levels. I hear it's brutal.

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Can't believe how hard I'm finding it, and I still haven't beaten SMB1 even though I made a post about it 7 months ago *sigh*

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Only because I don't have time to play galaxy 2

And lost levels will humble you. Quick.

I beat Mario 2 and 3 before I beat 1. Mainly because as a child, I didn't believe in shortcuts so I didn't use warp zones at all.

Mario 64 isn't that bad. Mario Sunshine on the cube was harder. Some say it is as hard as lost levels but I didn't think so.

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Mario_games_by_year

Obviously I started with Super Mario Bros. From what I can find, there isn't really any way to "beat" Mario Bros, and kill screens on Donkey Kong are for super gamers, which I am not.

I'm more or less going to be taking them in this order, though, avoiding the more peripheral titles.

Here are the notes from Facebook:

James Peach These are the worst goombas I've ever seen. And why are the fireballs so stupid?
54 minutes ago · Like ·

James Peach Holy crap, jihadist turtles!
52 minutes ago · Like ·

James Peach HOLD UP. Who is this Daisy chick? Mario has a side chick? WHOA.
48 minutes ago · Like ·

Mealand Ragland-Hudgins you and your SMB. can't say I blame you.
48 minutes ago · Like ·

James Peach Oh snap. I'M ON A BOAT.
42 minutes ago · Like ·

James Peach Dang. Mario has fans in underwater worlds that spell his name out in gold coins. That's respect.
40 minutes ago · Like ·

Mealand Ragland-Hudgins Mario: "I don't know whatchu heard about me...I'm a P-I-M-P."
37 minutes ago · Like ·

James Peach Okay, the guy who was in charge of the controls on this game seriously dishonored his ancestors.
35 minutes ago · Like ·

James Peach I mean, I suppose we already knew his pipe game was airtight.
33 minutes ago · Like ·

Mealand Ragland-Hudgins Ha! womp wommmmmp
31 minutes ago · Like ·

James Peach MAN. 3-2 ain't playin.
28 minutes ago · Like ·

James Peach Let's take a moment to reflect on what Mario must be feeling by the end of World 3. He's gone from stomping on the usual goombas and turtles to dealing with giant spiders, a sphinx, changes in his gravity, he's had to learn how to pilot a submarine with NO notice, dealt with a giant fire-spewing seahorse, had boulders thrown at him by a living ...
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20 minutes ago · Like ·

James Peach Zombie kung-fu monks? OH COME ON
18 minutes ago · Like ·

James Peach The fire-breathing snakes in World 4 are either very zen or just can't wait to get off work.
11 minutes ago · Like ·

James Peach Awwww yeah. Mario R-Type. I'm with it.
7 minutes ago · Like ·

James Peach Ok, I get it. Daisy is much more appreciative than Princess Peach ever was. I'm not saying I condone Mario's infidelity, but I get it. Hell, Princess Peach never even hugged Mario, much less said "thank you."

Mario really was on that pimp game this time around, too. He had a space ship waiting at the end of the stage. You already know that ship is getting put on auto pilot as soon as the credits roll.

>James Peach Holy crap, jihadist turtles!

"jihadist turtles".


>James Peach Okay, the guy who was in charge of the controls on
>this game seriously dishonored his ancestors.
>35 minutes ago · Like ·

Let's take a moment to reflect on what Mario must be feeling by the end of World 3. He's gone from stomping on the usual goombas and turtles to dealing with giant spiders, a sphinx, changes in his gravity, he's had to learn how to pilot a submarine with NO notice, dealt with a giant fire-spewing seahorse, had boulders thrown at him by a living Easter Island statue, and on top of ALL THAT, three times in a row Princess Daisy wasn't really Princess Daisy, but instead she turned into a hideous alien.

You can tell Mario is psychologically damaged each time because he doesn't even kill the alien as it gets away, he just kinda sits there and stares.

I want Alan Moore to do a Mario comic where he goes more and more insane as the games get wilder. I just know that we're gonna find out that Mario is actually a hallucinating homeless man.

That's the one Mario game that I've memorised all the levels. Did you beat that without a gameover or are you using saving states?

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Gang Starr / Nujabes blend - https://youtu.be/lsci1vu6ick
DOOM Tribute - https://youtu.be/qmBQ2BDefKM
Donut of the Heart cover in Javascript - https://youtu.be/afLc2CkC8lk

Props

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Gang Starr / Nujabes blend - https://youtu.be/lsci1vu6ick
DOOM Tribute - https://youtu.be/qmBQ2BDefKM
Donut of the Heart cover in Javascript - https://youtu.be/afLc2CkC8lk

Are you going to skip any levels?

Or are you going straight through?

https://digife.com

However, if I don't remember where the warps are from my youth, I push as far as I can before consulting the internets.

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<<progressions.

I'm working on that now. It's not that easy. I beat 1,2, and 3 (2 was the hardest). I have Lost Levels but never attempted to beat that. Once I finish World I'll work on that. I broke out the old SNES to rock these so I'm fully enjoying this.

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I got to the forest in one hour last night. Keep in mind that I'm not worried about hidden stuff so far, though.

If I know they are there I have issue with leaving them behind.

This post was paid for by the following.

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i don't remember most of that stuff

most of them are in the Star World and Special World (and in the case of the former, revolve around getting to all of the exits).

Soda Lake (I think the one at the bottom of the vine that leads to one of the Stars) is annoying as crap

World 7 (Valley of Bowser) is pretty annoying

and that one stage in World 6 (the chocolate stage), where the second and third parts change based on what the timer is...

when I'm through just "beating" these games, that I will go back through and impose stricter rules. "No Warps", etc

You should impose those rules once you hit Super Mario Galaxy. You only need to do half the shit in that game to face-off with bowser. So you're basically missing out on half the game.

them Japanese are something else.

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Stoicism and chill.
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Stay +.
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Once you get to the 3D games there's like a billion stars to get if you want to complete it, but you only need a little over half of them to get to Bowser.

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12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx

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Twitter: @tyrcasey

I mean, I've got other shit to do. I really should not have started this.

Here's the summary as posted on FB.

James Peach Okay, first of all, is Princess Toadstool a third princess, or is she the same as Princess Peach? Where are all these damn princesses coming from?
Saturday at 8:49pm · Like ·

James Peach Oh, and just in case you think Bowser's getting soft, the first two enemies he throws your way are a turtle in a wifebeater and a fifteen foot tall bullet.
Saturday at 8:53pm · Like ·

Angie Hurst james peach, i just adore this series.
Saturday at 9:03pm · Like ·

James Peach Thanks, Angie.
Saturday at 9:03pm · Like ·

James Peach Yoshi will eat a cactus for you, but he absolutely will not follow you into a castle.
Saturday at 9:04pm · Like ·

Angie Hurst listen, even a dinosaur's got lines he won't cross, man. the castles in that place get wicked strange.
Saturday at 9:12pm · Like ·

Harrell Childs Ain't like the princess was gonna let him hit once they saved her, being a dinosaur and all, so best case scenario for Yoshi would be standing there like Chewbacca between Mario and Luigi when they get medals at the end. No sense in risking any real danger for that.
Saturday at 9:16pm · Like ·

James Peach That's good reasoning for a dinosaur.

I mean...you would think Luigi would have figured that out by now, honestly.
Saturday at 9:17pm · Like ·

Harrell Childs The few Italian mothers I've known would be pissed if one brother let the other go off and get killed. Plus on the later games, he has Princess Daisy to keep him company.
Saturday at 9:20pm · Like ·

James Peach DAMN, HARRELL. SPOILER ALERT!
Saturday at 9:21pm · Like ·

Harrell Childs No spoiler, really. I didn't tell you about when Shane killed Luigi by dropping a grenade in his car. Oops.
Saturday at 9:23pm · Like ·

James Peach I ain't afraid of no ghosts.
Saturday at 9:30pm · Like ·

James Peach I would like to retract that last statement and add green blobs.
Saturday at 9:33pm · Like ·

James Peach http://picture.funnycorner.net/funny-pictures/4945/betrayal-yoshi.jpg
Saturday at 9:41pm · Like ·

James Peach Okay, do I REALLY need to find the red and green switches, or should I just keep trucking?
Saturday at 9:53pm · Like ·

James Peach You know, playing Mario is much easier when my wife is here to console me when I die. Miss you, Jessica.
Saturday at 9:54pm · Like ·

Harrell Childs If I remember correctly, they lead you to the warp pipes. Last time I played it was 6th grade, though, so don't quote me.
Saturday at 9:55pm · Like ·

James Peach Okay, I'm done for the evening. Thank goodness for game saving.
Saturday at 9:59pm · Like ·

James Peach I lied. FIRE POOPING SUMO MOLES.
Saturday at 10:29pm · Like ·

James Peach no, seriously. bed time
Saturday at 11:04pm · Like ·

James Peach Okay, wasn't gonna play today, but I'm gonna get a moment in while Sofia crashes into a nap.
Yesterday at 10:51am · Like ·

James Peach Dear Little Blue Dinosaur, you are very cute but your breath is horrible.
Yesterday at 11:01am · Like ·

James Peach YOSHI! WTF HAVE YOU BEEN? You would not BELIEVE the crap I've been through since I saw you last. You hungry?
Yesterday at 11:07am · Like ·

James Peach ‎...sorry, Yoshi. It was either you or me.
Yesterday at 11:12am · Like ·

James Peach Okay, crying babies throw me off my game. Done for now.
Yesterday at 11:19am · Like ·

James Peach You know, I used to like chocolate. When you're a kid, castles in a Chocolate World sound like the most wonderful thing ever. This is why Shigeru Miyamoto is a child-hating asshole.
9 hours ago · Like ·

James Peach Yoshi, I really admire you for coming with me into this completely submerged and ghost-infested haunted ship, but you're not helping.
5 hours ago · Like ·

James Peach Bowser, you have lost your damn mind. Who sold you that spaceship? The Penguin?
41 minutes ago · Like ·

James Peach Alright, let's stay dead this time, Bowser. Seriously. it's just not working out for you, man. I heard UPS is hiring. Maybe you could holler at them. Maybe you could do like a Chuck E. Cheese / Showbiz pizza thing with your kids. I don't really care. Just stop messing with my women.

Love,
Mario

P.S. Leave them damn dinosaurs alone, too.

Which isn't the most attractive name, but it's probably common in a place called the Mushroom Kingdom. I would love to see the English translation of the meeting where they figured all of this stuff out.

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12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx

XBL: trkc21
Twitter: @tyrcasey

I think for some reason during the localization "Peach" wasn't something Nintendo of America wanted to call the princess when nearly all the imagery centers around mushrooms and things like that. But I think technically, that's always been her name, the USA just started using it in Mario 64. That ol' Mike Bison vs. Balrog thing.

a lot of those names, like the onomatopoeic "Nokonoko" (the Koopa Troopa) and the very Japanese "Kinopio" (Toad) wouldn't have flown here (no Paratroop-o)

someone I know was in Japan, bought a Wii, and Mario Party over there... brought it back home and people were like "Teresa? WTF"

(I still haven't figured out why the "Boo" is called that name, it sounds weird)

Dude, this game is so difficult that it crosses out of that area where you're angry at it, and goes into that place of madness where you're laughing along with the game as it laughs at you trying to beat it.

>Dude, this game is so difficult that it crosses out of that
>area where you're angry at it, and goes into that place of
>madness where you're laughing along with the game as it laughs
>at you trying to beat it.

I get this exact feeling watching some of the videos of people playing SMB hacks on Youtube.

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"WASP of the year: even if he isn�t a WASP, Oakley. Sailing? Check. In a yacht club? Check. Used the term �summer� as a verb instead of a noun? You betcha!" -thejerseytornado

...Well it's actually the "For Super Players" version on Super Mario Bros Deluxe (GBC/3DS VC). Happy I finally beat it, but the fact that this is the gimped version (lack of wind, no W9-D) made me feel like I've got some unfinished business to attend to. Might get the original on virtual console.

Oh and fuck Mario All-Stars. I didn't know this before but after playing the original SMB1 & Lost Levels, you can tell how much they fucked up the physics in All-Stars.

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Gang Starr / Nujabes blend - https://youtu.be/lsci1vu6ick
DOOM Tribute - https://youtu.be/qmBQ2BDefKM
Donut of the Heart cover in Javascript - https://youtu.be/afLc2CkC8lk

and it kinda broke the Mario Mission.

I might resume after I beat Bioshock Infinte. I'll need some lighter fare.

I must've used up 60+ lives in 8-4 alone. Feels damn good when you finish a level though.

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Gang Starr / Nujabes blend - https://youtu.be/lsci1vu6ick
DOOM Tribute - https://youtu.be/qmBQ2BDefKM
Donut of the Heart cover in Javascript - https://youtu.be/afLc2CkC8lk

I really have no desire to ever return to SMB or Lost Levels. The first SMB feels dated and I only appreciate it on a nostalgic level now.

Mario 2, Mario 3, Mario World, and Yoshi's Island, though? Timeless games. I could play those games any time.

And while I'm curious about going back and playing Mario 64, I just have a general distaste for all early 3D games. So I'll probably never do that. Maybe.

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You know it's drama, but it sound real good.

3D early stuff was weak.

early 3D stuff was sketchy in general, but Mario 64 is great. Tight controls and good physics. You should try it.

>I really have no desire to ever return to SMB or Lost Levels.
>The first SMB feels dated and I only appreciate it on a
>nostalgic level now.
>
>Mario 2, Mario 3, Mario World, and Yoshi's Island, though?
>Timeless games. I could play those games any time.
>
>And while I'm curious about going back and playing Mario 64, I
>just have a general distaste for all early 3D games. So I'll
>probably never do that. Maybe.


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It was all the copy cats afterwards (megaman, sonic, busby, etc.) that kinda ruined everything. The camera on 64, while basic for todays standards, back then was fantastic. The controls were some of the best on the system, and that's saying a lot since it was a launch title.

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a couple of those star levels in world 9 made me wanna cry... i think one took me nearly a week to beat. my wife was pregnant at the time and the baby always moved when he heard that level... lol

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this is an old as crap post I guess lol

Anyways, the Touch Fuzzy, Get Dizzy level was my favorite. Mario makers were doing acid for sure.