The Orgy of Pigs & Elephants & Asses in Uncle Sam's Whorehouse
part one of a musical by Wolf Larsen

A man gets out of bed in the morning and looks in the mirror and sings: "There's a new herpes sore in the corner of my mouth! Oh fuck fuck fuck! Oh fuck that's the most important word that's NOT in the dictionary! Oh fuck which is the BEST WORD in the English language!"

Suddenly, a big donkey/ass and a fat elephant jump out of two humongous toilets on stage and sing: "Hello! Hello! How are you? Congratulations for the new herpes sore on your mouth! We’re running for president!"
The donkey/ass sings: "Vote for me!"
The elephant sings: "No! Vote for me instead!"

And then the big ass and the elephant jump back in their toilets and disappear.
A chorus of whores (who are dressed up in Puritan style outfits – except that they're wearing mini-skirts & see-through shirts) all sing: "There's a new herpes sore on the corner of his mouth! Ha ha ha! Herpes! Herpes! Herpes! Ha ha ha! And anytime now the bombs will start falling out of the air! Ha ha ha! Because the Armed Forces of Uncle Sam are at war with herpes and the terrorist bunny rabbits of Al-Fruity Loops!"

The saxophone suddenly starts playing. As it plays the saxophone seems to be saying: "Oh nO! The terrOrist bunnY rAbbits of Al-FrUity LoOps!"

The man with the herpes sore sings: "Electric banana soup! The terrorist bunny rabbits of Al-Fruity Loops! Oh no! The terrorist bunny rabbits are conquering the planet with their methamphetamine-peanut-butter-laser-guns!"

The Puritan whores sing: "Oh no! Oh purple-vagina-psychiatric-drugs! Not the methamphetamine-peanut-butter-laser-guns!"

That's when a bunch of transvestite men with Puritan hats and purple & green painted faces and their ding-a-lings hanging in public view all jump out of everywhere and start singing: "What is our nation coming to when the terrorist bunny rabbits of Al-Fruity Loops cause so much unemployment and herpes?! And how much heroin is Uncle Sam introducing in the water supply? After all, the terrorist bunny rabbits have stolen the sky!"
The saxophone blurts out, and seems to say: "StOlen the skY! StOlen the skY!"

The man with herpes begins dancing sensuously with all the transvestite men as he sings: "I like napalm in my coffee! I like sin taxes in my homelessness! Do you think my herpes sore is sexy? Do you? Huh? Do you?"

And as the transvestites dance around the man the transvestites all sing: "Sexy marshmallows! Sexy Cuban missile crisis! Oh the Nobel war prize for the big ass in the White House – oh so sexy sexy sexy! Yes yes yes I'm voting for the big ass in the White House! Sexy sexy kaboooom! The sexy First Lady makes my penis wanna go ka-zoooom!"
The trumpet seems to blurt out: Ka-zoOOom! Ka-zoOOom!"

The sexy sexy Puritan-mini-skirted whores sing: "Everything is such a delicious shit shit shit! On television the blah-blah-blah artists with the anuses in the middle of their faces filling the airwaves with shit shit shit! While in school they teach our kids all about the free and the brave and all that shit shit shit!"
The maracas shake with the sound of: "Shiiit – shiiit – shiiit!"

Then the transvestite men begin having erotic fun with the whores as the man with the herpes sore sings: "Oh praise a giant civilization of diarrhea with nuclear bombs on top of it! Oh praise a nation built on Puritan-hypocrisy-orgasms splashing God everywhere!"
The horns & woodwinds all blurt out: "PraAAaise! PraAAaise! PraAAise the LooOOOord halleluuUUUuujah!"

The whores all sing: "Praise the free market system – it's the best! Buy some of our free market pussy! Buy some of our free market ass! Buy a free-market blow job! We whores are no different than the businessman and politicians! We're just making a quick buck any old way we can!"

Copyright 2012 by Wolf Larsen