had to write my thoughts out after finally seeing this last night on HBO.

2.5/5

I DO have to admit that when I checked the time-stamp and realized there was still an hour left in the film and a normal-length film'd have already elapsed by then, I wasn't particularly let down. Sure, every damn scene is formulaic to a tee to that point. Trevor battles against bureaucracy (a mantle he takes up once Diana is done with her same battles during the mercifully brief opening sequence) while Diana rambles like a madwoman about Aries and takes in the world with the childlike wonder of a Disney princess; at times, she even views the battlefield the way Belle might a set of teacups. But I have to admit that I don't understand the criticism of Gadot here, and her fierce commitment to glory paired with Trevor's fierce commitment to the greater virtues of humanity makes for a charming if convoluted romantic comedy wrapped around shotguns and the male gaze.

The thing that holds all that back from working completely is that Gadot's Wonder Woman clearly knows what the "modern" (circa 1944) world is; she speaks every language, she can track ammunition that travels faster than anything she's ever seen with nothing more than her eyesight, she smirks and shrugs every time Trevor drops an innuendo and she seems to completely understand how meditative and apprehensive first times are between male and female leads in big budget action films. Her ignorance of the world is played up merely for comedic effect, and forgotten whenever it's convenient to either the plot of the film or the conventions of the genre. It makes for a confusing environment that makes the whole thing feel quite without stakes, an odd feeling to have in a superhero film centered around the final days of World War II in which a rogue German general possibly possessed by the God of War aims to drop a hydrogen bomb on the front lines just as the world prepares for peace.

In other words, welcome to the delicate world of DC Comics as a filmic enterprise. For every step forward, there's AT LEAST one step back.

Enough people have interrogated the movie on its feminist merits - or lack thereof - at this point that it's just piling on to go any further. There is another side to the movie, the one that inevitably comes to the fore during what some would probably argue is the real Wonder Woman movie. For that first hour and a half, Wonder Woman is mostly a sideshow to her own film, a folly for Chris Pine to bounce his charm off of and the modern world to bounce their incredulity off of as all the men around her scoff at the mere thought she might study languages. The image of Diana near literally dancing with the Devil with a sword sheathed inside her form-fitting dress is comical enough, but this is a comic book movie after all. With that one superlatively silly moment, Diana is done listening, done waiting and ready to kick some ass the way she really doesn't get to other than a single scene in the middle of the film.

Or at least one would like to think so; instead, we get a deconstruction of hero myths, humanity and the inevitability of war that's a bridge too far. This is a single comic book film in a massive comic book franchise - please, skip the proselytizing over the meaning of conflict. Without conflict, the whole thing is pointless, so let's just get on with it.

Finally, in the final twenty minutes, the audience gets what it thinks it wants. Wonder Woman kicking ass. This of course means that we have to endure a lot of awful (and it's awful in such a weird, almost cool way that the clever among us can trick ourselves into enjoying it) DCEU-brand CGI and slow-mo that never looks quite as cool as it wants to and, inevitably, way too much of that god awful Wonder Woman theme song and its variants (my definition of too much: more than zero). And even in these moments, its a lot more of Wonder Woman getting beat up than the other way around.

It's also in these moments that Gadot often acquits herself least, whether its her lithe figure (I'm not sure women, or even men, should be held to the standards the superhero genre has set, but she just looks so NORMAL in her power armor) or the amount of range that's asked of her acting. I admit I was personally surprised she carried the comedy so stoutly and yet waffled on the drama, but maybe I've just heard too many comedians on podcasts over the years explain how much more difficult comedy is than drama.

Wonder Woman is a more fleet movie than its runtime suggests, and it's completely fair to be happy to have a major female superhero even considering all the ways this movie's script actively antagonizes that proposal, but it's also just as vapid as all the other modern DC movies have been at a macro level. Its admirable that Jenkins found ways to have fun in the oppressively dark atmosphere of DC's current cinematic universe, but the final scene makes it clear to the audience she managed that in spite of whatever weight was on top of her. If anyone comes out of this movie looking like a true Wonder Woman, it's her.



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