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but, seeing as I'll neve, r get bored with exposing how bloated and uninspiring Dark Knight ishere's some examples.
- Batman gets his ass beat in this movie. A lot. Even by dogs at one point. Motherfucker you moved to the mountains for like a decade, learned the illest ninja style ever and you're struggling with three rottweilers?
- this gripe is an extension of the first gripe, but the pacing of the first film was so swift and light and a lot of that had to do with how the fights were shot. They were fast and violent, with the point being that even YOU weren't supposed to believe in Batman. But the fights in DK were slow and uneventful. Totally unexplained change.
- The Tokyo scene was ENTIRELY unnecessary. My brother tried to rationalize that part with me about a month ago but I said no no and stood pat. You take that out and the movie benefits from being an entire half hour shorter and not the least bit effected storyline wise.
- Joker throws Rachel out the window and Batman dives after her. They land on the car, exchange some more limpdick banter, and the scene ends. Ok so we'll leave this maniacal sociopath upstairs, fuck him. I guess we should all just assume that Joker and his boys ate all the shrimp, played Scategories, and then split.
- The Sonar shit is just dumb.
- but, most importantly, there's the speeches. They're everywhere. The speeches are relied upon ENTIRELY to hold up Harvey Dent, a character that could have been infinitely more interesting with half the time and effort the speeches commanded. Dude, don't TELL ME he's supposed to be the good guy SHOW ME. He's running for office? Here's a novel idea, instead of four monologues explaining how righteous Dent is why don't you just give me a fuckin five minute scene of him campaigning and demonstrating some charisma? It would accomplish the exact same thing.
Ultimately, this movie suffers from one umbrella flaw that yields a shit ton of other minor flaws; it's a movie about an adult with a rubber bat costume on fighting an adult dressed as a clown that somehow fancies itself Schindler's List. I love superhero movies, LOVE them. Spiderman 2 is my favorite movie ever. But dude, LIGHTEN UP. Smirk a little, get the pole out of your ass. Iron Man came out the same summer and it was like getting hit in the face with the exact opposite of this cumbersome black mess of a movie. These dudes intentionally set out to make an epic and it feels like a ton. I can pop in Spidey 2 or Iron Man any time and watch the entire thing. But DK? FOH. That's like I have to make sure I'm entirely obligation free on a Thursday night and invest in it, both for the time requirement of it AND the fact that it's ridiculously taxing on the mind.
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