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Subject: "Sex before exclusive -- just get over it?" Previous topic | Next topic
jd215
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1747 posts
Thu Mar-21-19 03:14 AM

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"Sex before exclusive -- just get over it?"


  

          

Hi y'all, what do you think about couples confessing what they got up two before being exclusive?

I'm starting to get very serious with my girlfriend of about two years. She said she didn't want any secrets and told me she slept with someone while on a 10-day vacation she left on 3 weeks after we met and 10 days after we slept together for the first time. We had the exclusivity talk about 2 weeks after she returned from that vacation.

This has me all fucked up cause I didn't really consider that she might have got her freak on during that trip. I guess it was just something I didn't really think about, a sort of don't ask, don't tell thing.

I definitely get the sense this is more my problem, based on insecurities and some immaturity, but this information has made me see the relationship differently. I see our initial time as much less romantic. How meaningful is our first kiss if she slept with some guy afterwards? I hate that I feel that way, but can't stop it.

I know we weren't a couple then, but I was crazy about this girl from the start and didn't really want to pursue anything with anyone else. I know that was my own choice.

I just hate this ugly asterisk hanging over the relationship. How canI get my head right and get over this? Any thoughts?

  

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Sex before exclusive -- just get over it? [View all] , jd215, Thu Mar-21-19 03:14 AM
 
Subject Author Message Date ID
RE: Sex before exclusive -- just get over it?
Mar 21st 2019
1
RE: Sex before exclusive -- just get over it?
Mar 21st 2019
5
idk what will happen with the relationship
Mar 21st 2019
2
RE: idk what will happen with the relationship
Mar 21st 2019
6
      finding the right person is everything
Mar 21st 2019
20
Get over it! She probably didn't enjoy it!
Mar 21st 2019
3
RE: Get over it! She probably didn't enjoy it!
Mar 21st 2019
7
What if it wasn’t gross and awful though? Would it matter?
Mar 21st 2019
10
RE: What if it wasn’t gross and awful though? Would it matter?
Mar 21st 2019
11
When someone has a bad breakup
Mar 21st 2019
12
YouTube Craig Kenneth and attachment theory
Mar 21st 2019
33
I agree about feeling Insecure
Mar 21st 2019
14
      IMen judge women and women judge men
Mar 21st 2019
17
      I wish the negativity of women
Mar 21st 2019
38
           How are women being negated in this post? Not seeing it
Mar 21st 2019
39
                didn't mean this post in particular.
Mar 21st 2019
41
Women sleep with men they see as equal or greater to them
Mar 21st 2019
31
      women sleep with whoever they want to, for whatever purpose
Mar 21st 2019
47
           yup
Mar 22nd 2019
48
lmao. Why do women always use the bad sex excuse?
Mar 21st 2019
9
Good sex can also be bad sex.
Mar 21st 2019
13
I hear you but who looks for emotion connections on vacation?
Mar 21st 2019
16
      It's also a dismissive posture to say your feelings are unwarranted
Mar 21st 2019
36
Not wired or really built for confrontion with men which makes sense
Mar 21st 2019
42
lol yeah just lie to yourself
Mar 21st 2019
25
Grow up
Mar 21st 2019
4
RE: Grow up
Mar 21st 2019
8
She may have needed closure before moving forward with you.
Mar 21st 2019
15
Don't deny your feelings man. And there's always an asterisk*
Mar 21st 2019
18
RE: Don't deny your feelings man. And there's always an asterisk*
Mar 21st 2019
34
she prolly should've kept that in her pocket.
Mar 21st 2019
19
Precisely.
Mar 21st 2019
21
      Almost feels like a threat
Mar 21st 2019
22
      It's been two years and she has concerns about the ltr potential
Mar 21st 2019
43
      it always works with the person who's right for you
Mar 25th 2019
67
You've been together 2 years
Mar 21st 2019
23
RE: You've been together 2 years
Mar 21st 2019
29
      Gotcha
Mar 21st 2019
30
It's a strength test to see if you'll be insecure about it
Mar 21st 2019
24
You had the exclusive talk for a reason...
Mar 21st 2019
26
Bro your firsts don't mean anything get that thinking out of your head
Mar 21st 2019
27
Firsts can mean whatever the hell he wants them to mean...
Mar 21st 2019
45
      Valuing past moments as = || > than present ones will kill a relationshi...
Mar 22nd 2019
59
RE: You had the exclusive talk for a reason...
Mar 21st 2019
32
      "the one?" That's not a healthy mindset. RJCC made a great suggestion
Mar 21st 2019
35
           Huh? “The one” is definitely a healthy mindset if you plan on marria...
Mar 22nd 2019
50
                I've never believed in 'the one'.
Mar 22nd 2019
51
                     you didn’t believe your wife was “the one” ???
Mar 22nd 2019
52
                          everything is timing.
Mar 22nd 2019
54
                               ^^real talk.
Mar 22nd 2019
55
                               Me & the little lady have had a similar convo...
Mar 22nd 2019
56
                               yeah, that soulmates
Mar 22nd 2019
58
                               ^this is exactly my point. Too many people on the planet
Mar 22nd 2019
60
                               Yeah. Thad what I mean by “the one”
Mar 22nd 2019
63
                               same
Mar 22nd 2019
64
Who initiated the exclusivity convo?
Mar 21st 2019
28
hmm, tough but i agree with the therapy angle
Mar 21st 2019
37
if you do stay with her,
Mar 21st 2019
40
don't revise history
Mar 21st 2019
44
True.
Mar 22nd 2019
49
wtf, it was years ago and she didn't cheat on you
Mar 21st 2019
46
RE: wtf, it was years ago and she didn't cheat on you
Mar 24th 2019
65
No reason to tell you but to pass the guilt on to you... rude
Mar 22nd 2019
53
This is prolly true.
Mar 22nd 2019
62
nvm
Mar 26th 2019
68
who opened the door to the discussion?
Mar 22nd 2019
57
Sounds like it's mostly internal, which is understandable
Mar 22nd 2019
61
RE: Sounds like it's mostly internal, which is understandable
Mar 24th 2019
66
i'd say try to see the bright side that you got a hella sexual lady
Mar 26th 2019
69

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