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Subject: "I *feel* like I'm being a bad friend, but don't *think* I am." Previous topic | Next topic
Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
44838 posts
Wed Feb-06-19 04:16 PM

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"I *feel* like I'm being a bad friend, but don't *think* I am."


  

          

My boy is coming out later this month. That's my brother right there. There's a lot of history behind this bond, and his mom was one of the most critical figures of my life, may she rest in peace. They're family. His sister and I have been close friends since 8th grade and his mom knew me way back when I was a toddler. He and I bonded the day we met, right after Like Water For Chocolate dropped, and that album was the subject of our first conversation. We've been brothers from that moment.

I love him like few others in this world.

Thing is.. he announced that he's coming in on a Thursday night, going back on Sunday, and that he needs me to help him get around to get his drivers license, pickup a birth certificate, visit his mom's grave, hit up a strip club, he wants to get high and drunk (sic), not sleep, take my kids to the beach, and hit up some restaurant in LA with my kids. He says it's time to turn up, and he's given me two weeks to get it together.

Sorry, but I'm in my late thirties, and I don't turn up. I can count on one hand the number of nights I've spent outside of my home since my kids were born. Not to mention that he wants to spend the bulk of this time in Los Angeles.

All of this sounds and feels like a movie, where the beloved best friend shows up and turns life upside down for a weekend. We're close, but very different. He still wants to party. He's been in and out the pen.

I've tried to put things in perspective but he's a little bullish, and for the first time ever, I feel like I need to tell him he needs to chill. Fall back. He wants to come out, I'll run him to do his errands, but lets chill and chop it up. Let's kick it and get a cypher going. Maybe record some shit. Get down on some NBA 2K like we did Live back in the day.

Hell, we can hit the club, whatever. But he's trying to cram a week's visit into two days with some exhausting logistics spanning three cities, and I need him to relax. I'd be excited to see him if he fell back by about 50%, but as it stands I'm not looking forward to that weekend at all.

I feel like a bad friend for that, but looking at this rationally, I don't think so. What say you?

  

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I *feel* like I'm being a bad friend, but don't *think* I am. [View all] , Cold Truth, Wed Feb-06-19 04:16 PM
 
Subject Author Message Date ID
does he know it takes two hours to get anywhere in LA?
Feb 06th 2019
1
Yeah, but he's clearly not considering any of the logistics
Feb 06th 2019
3
      man, my willingness to drive is for shit these days.
Feb 06th 2019
25
not a bad friend...just a buzzkill, and thats ok
Feb 06th 2019
2
There's no bullying. Definitely a buzzkill
Feb 06th 2019
6
      most of my friends who are now buzzkills..i do consider it
Feb 06th 2019
12
           Getting old absolutely *sucks* for so many reasons.
Feb 06th 2019
26
           The struggle is real
Feb 07th 2019
39
           lol @ growing up being "not fun" and a "buzzkill"
Feb 07th 2019
31
Sounds like an episode from a sitcom
Feb 06th 2019
4
Yeah, I mean I'm all in as long as he relaxes a bit
Feb 06th 2019
10
i read this as "coming out" coming out at first lol
Feb 06th 2019
5
ha. i read it as being released
Feb 06th 2019
7
Yeah. I thought he meant fresh out.
Feb 06th 2019
8
yeah i thought "coming out" too
Feb 06th 2019
13
LMAO nah that's just... me. Just setting the stage for why I feel how I ...
Feb 06th 2019
27
I thought gay too.
Feb 06th 2019
15
      Oooh, nah. Didn’t think that. Lol
Feb 06th 2019
23
Play along. You'll get a bunch of that done, but both of y'all will get
Feb 06th 2019
9
Was he locked up?
Feb 06th 2019
11
He got out a few years ago.
Feb 06th 2019
21
there comes a time in every mans life
Feb 06th 2019
14
Im lounge man these days.
Feb 06th 2019
22
      there's usually a middle ground
Feb 06th 2019
24
RE: I *feel* like I'm being a bad friend, but don't *think* I am.
Feb 06th 2019
16
nothing to feel bad about
Feb 06th 2019
17
Naw you grown. Tell him what you can and cannot do. And blame the
Feb 06th 2019
18
not a bad friend at all.
Feb 06th 2019
19
Nah I agree with most in here.
Feb 06th 2019
20
You're not a bad friend, you just can't live like that anymore
Feb 06th 2019
28
I read this as "Coming OUT," then as "Coming HOME"
Feb 06th 2019
29
you're allowed to outgrow people
Feb 07th 2019
30
because it bothers me i would probably go...
Feb 07th 2019
32
It’s just 1 week out of 52 and only 50 -60% off all that will happen
Feb 07th 2019
33
Might burn himself out for the next week or two. People need rest...
Feb 07th 2019
34
He'll be aight. He can do 3.5 days
Feb 07th 2019
36
Yeah party like a rock star!
Feb 07th 2019
37
      He's Married Right. Dude spend more time on here than in Real Life
Feb 07th 2019
40
           I spend more time on OKP than in real life? Show your work.
Feb 07th 2019
41
                Just go out and have fund w/o trying to get buy-in from OKP
Feb 08th 2019
42
                     Who's asking for "buy-in"
Feb 08th 2019
43
                          Dude you want validation for your feelsings and reservation .
Feb 08th 2019
44
                          lol, some christian, encouraging a night of debauchery
Feb 08th 2019
45
                          lol holy fuck you 2.. this is the dumbest fight ever.
Feb 08th 2019
46
                               They need a night out together.
Feb 11th 2019
50
                                    Y'all are right. This was Classically Dumb on our part.
Feb 11th 2019
53
                          *feelsings*
Feb 12th 2019
58
                          have FUND
Feb 11th 2019
56
                               You basically said the same thing I said.
Feb 12th 2019
60
                                    no doubt
Feb 12th 2019
61
Pick the things you think it's possible for you to do
Feb 07th 2019
35
sounds like a weekend with Tracy off Atlanta
Feb 07th 2019
38
He wants to do a lot in a weekend, Jesus. Look for middle ground
Feb 11th 2019
47
Male relationships seem to dissolve in our 30s
Feb 11th 2019
48
Great post
Feb 11th 2019
49
well said
Feb 11th 2019
52
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Feb 11th 2019
54
How did you arrive at this notion of desolvment?
Feb 11th 2019
55
      Male friendships do tend to fall by the wayside in late 20s/30s
Feb 12th 2019
57
      I mean look at the arc of this board, Rev.
Feb 13th 2019
62
You grown and have responsibilities..
Feb 11th 2019
51
only the middle part really sounds unreasonable...
Feb 12th 2019
59
I think y'all should have some adventures, *but* simplified
Feb 13th 2019
63
So I didn't go, and I'm glad I didn't. He might catch a case now
Mar 27th 2019
64
lol Tracy wildin'.... damn Cold... way to dodge the bullet.
Mar 27th 2019
65
I started to go in, but stopped myself.
Mar 27th 2019
66
Cut him off.
Mar 27th 2019
67
Are you in CA? If so, how did he lose it all over weed?
Mar 27th 2019
68
My guess is, he copped whatever was shipped. I don't know.
Mar 27th 2019
70
Wow. You weren’t lying about dude.
Mar 27th 2019
69
He lives in Texas. He's from Cali and came here to visit
Mar 27th 2019
71
      They love sending people to jail in texas
Mar 28th 2019
73
Haha damn - good instincts playa.
Mar 27th 2019
72

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