Proceeds on to tell a long ass fuckin story.

Man that drives me nuts.

After you say "long story short" you got three paragraphs MAX. Otherwise you just sold me bill of goods and didn't live up to your end of the bargain. At that point I don't even give a shit what happened in the story I'm just mad at you for lying to me.

And whenever you call someone on this bullshit it's always the same goddam response: "well it could have been a lot longer!"

SO??!! I don't give a damn how long the story could have been I care that you lied to me about how you were gonna make it short. There's a reason there ain't a damn expression that's "to make a long story somewhat less long" because you should have the goddam self editing ability to do that to begin with!

i still blame hip-hop.