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Subject: "ive been there. i survived and i wanted that friendship because he" Previous topic | Next topic
scout
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44572 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 04:30 PM

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197. "ive been there. i survived and i wanted that friendship because he"
In response to In response to 195


  

          

would have been a good friend to have
but alas, he didnt think us being friends was a good idea
so he's just an associate now

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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is it wrong to try to force a friendship w/ someone you know wants [View all] , scout, Mon Dec-01-14 12:42 PM
 
Subject Author Message Date ID
So, basically you want to put a dude into the friendzone?
Dec 01st 2014
1
but we have GRRREAT conversations and always have a good
Dec 01st 2014
2
      The main problem is TIME.
Dec 01st 2014
31
           and i wouldn't be mad at him at all
Dec 01st 2014
36
it's selfish i'd say
Dec 01st 2014
3
if you all are friends, you are friends.
Dec 01st 2014
4
it hasn't gotten to that point yet.
Dec 01st 2014
8
just dont be mad at the hail mary/habitual line stepping
Dec 01st 2014
5
Lol come on yo. You know its fucked up.
Dec 01st 2014
6
RE: Lol come on yo. You know its fucked up.
Dec 01st 2014
12
      you still want to fit a square peg in a round hole tho
Dec 01st 2014
23
      most men want to fuck tho, lol.
Dec 01st 2014
38
           and?
Dec 01st 2014
48
                RE: and?
Dec 01st 2014
54
      Oh okay. Good luck.
Dec 01st 2014
91
           thanks, lol
Dec 01st 2014
112
Yes and many, many women are guilty.
Dec 01st 2014
7
people like attention
Dec 01st 2014
I don't need attention. I like his company and conversation.
Dec 01st 2014
21
      of course you do. he really is offering his best material
Dec 01st 2014
40
      so you like HIS attention
Dec 01st 2014
41
      nope, lol. i like our intellectual conversations. seriously. if i liked
Dec 01st 2014
49
           I believe you
Dec 01st 2014
58
                thank you, trey
Dec 01st 2014
62
      now you lying to yourself
Dec 01st 2014
45
so i should cut him off?
Dec 01st 2014
17
      Ask yourself why he's coming around
Dec 01st 2014
200
Why?
Dec 01st 2014
9
yeah it's wrong and it's on the other person to see it
Dec 01st 2014
10
but damn, i'm not using him. i'm being a cool ass friend. why i
Dec 01st 2014
24
you don't.
Dec 01st 2014
55
      *sigh.
Dec 01st 2014
60
      wait!
Dec 01st 2014
124
           okay yes!
Dec 01st 2014
156
                again: is he your only friend?
Dec 01st 2014
165
                     no but he offers things the other friends dont
Dec 01st 2014
173
      this is spot on.
Dec 01st 2014
119
      Let the church say amen.
Dec 01st 2014
152
pretty much.
Dec 01st 2014
30
hook him up with one of your friends
Dec 01st 2014
11
i would if a) i had a friend who i thought would be interested, and
Dec 01st 2014
28
      THE PLOT THICKENS
Dec 01st 2014
32
           he aint innocent ;)
Dec 01st 2014
39
                if he was single would everything more or less stay the same between
Dec 01st 2014
46
                     can we take bets now?
Dec 01st 2014
51
                     yerp lol
Dec 01st 2014
53
                          yall are foul, lol. but youre right about me not being attracted to
Dec 01st 2014
70
                               yeah that's pretty straightforward really
Dec 01st 2014
90
                                    exactly! and a lot of men play this game.
Dec 01st 2014
101
                     yes. at one point i did entertain the idea of an 'us' but then
Dec 01st 2014
65
i never understood why the girl's in the wrong
Dec 01st 2014
13
in his mind, you're keeping him around because you like him a little
Dec 01st 2014
19
*shrug* sorry, my sympathy levels are so low on this
Dec 01st 2014
25
      ^^^^^^
Dec 01st 2014
33
      lots of people say one thing and do another
Dec 01st 2014
34
      your words should match your actions.
Dec 01st 2014
37
      and those things build feelings
Dec 01st 2014
42
           they build feelings, and illusions, and thoughts of '... one day'
Dec 01st 2014
43
           and then when it finally sinks in that it will NEVER happen
Dec 01st 2014
                LOL for real. it's not worth it. and im IN THIS SITUATION
Dec 01st 2014
61
                ^^^
Dec 01st 2014
71
                ^^ correct.
Dec 01st 2014
77
                bingo
Dec 01st 2014
80
           i think that since i lecture him sometimes and i'm frank and shit
Dec 01st 2014
74
      try a little empathy.
Dec 01st 2014
59
           for real. it's tough w/ the feelings
Dec 01st 2014
                yup. having been on the bad side of this
Dec 01st 2014
76
                sometimes you gotta save people from themselves
Dec 01st 2014
82
                     agreed. especially if they truly ARE your friend
Dec 01st 2014
85
                     this should be the quote that defines this post.
Dec 01st 2014
111
                     Yup. Definitely.
Dec 01st 2014
116
because emotionally you can end the charade lol
Dec 01st 2014
22
because patriarchy I guess.
Dec 01st 2014
27
If men accepted every no as final we would literally never get laid
Dec 01st 2014
29
the boyfriend that sat by the door
Dec 01st 2014
35
      LOL
Dec 01st 2014
75
      LOFL
Dec 01st 2014
198
this is where i'm at, IN THEORY
Dec 01st 2014
84
"Why should the dealer apologize to his fiends?", they cried.
Dec 01st 2014
99
if you care about him, leave him alone. otherwise, youre a piece of shit...
Dec 01st 2014
14
I'm in the give him some camp
Dec 01st 2014
15
-_- bin, i dont just give out samples of my cooch all willy nilly
Dec 01st 2014
44
      ^^^^the core issue right there! why not?!
Dec 01st 2014
177
leave him alone
Dec 01st 2014
16
QUESTION: are you all friends like for real?
Dec 01st 2014
18
is he a good friend because he is attracted to her?
Dec 01st 2014
47
good question.
Dec 01st 2014
50
i was ASKING if they were friends.
Dec 01st 2014
56
and I'm asking a different question...
Dec 01st 2014
57
      the only real female friends are either ugly or family.
Dec 01st 2014
64
      ^ homosocial.
Dec 01st 2014
69
      i answered your question.
Dec 01st 2014
66
           you trying to hard bruh...
Dec 01st 2014
93
                yes it's because i care so deeply.
Dec 01st 2014
95
                     whatever it is, you are doing too much of it.
Dec 01st 2014
98
                          right on.
Dec 01st 2014
108
men sometimes make great friends. too much estrogen gets
Dec 01st 2014
86
      I feel you... and also just read he has an SO
Dec 01st 2014
96
           right! lol, he's a predator
Dec 01st 2014
106
i am selective w/ who i label as a friend. EXTREMELY selective
Dec 01st 2014
72
as long as you are OK with him hollaring every few days
Dec 01st 2014
20
she might feed off of him hollaring every few days. sick shit.
Dec 01st 2014
26
      yup, I have witnessed it first hand.
Dec 01st 2014
52
      the attention/ego boost they brought was the center of the friendship
Dec 01st 2014
63
      i seriously aint that chick so please stop. the times he's tried
Dec 01st 2014
81
           okay. i'll fall back on that.
Dec 01st 2014
97
           I see you get FZ'd often......
Dec 01st 2014
191
           and you said he has someone else...
Dec 01st 2014
103
                right, he is not a victim here. im thinking that maybe we should
Dec 01st 2014
110
                     that reads all types of wrong
Dec 01st 2014
128
                     -
Dec 01st 2014
132
                          death by a thousand little cuts instead of just ending it definitively
Dec 01st 2014
139
                          damn so if i'm wrong and he really doesn't want me then i just
Dec 01st 2014
146
                               my position is that he needs to end himself but if he can't do that then...
Dec 01st 2014
151
                          i think something is being missed here
Dec 01st 2014
142
                               fine.
Dec 01st 2014
147
                               thank you because i'm positive that there is no actual love
Dec 01st 2014
148
                                    then proceed.
Dec 01st 2014
153
                                         lol, see this is why i need more male friends
Dec 01st 2014
157
                                              then you may not wanna be this guy's friend...
Dec 01st 2014
159
                                                   probably not, lol. ugh
Dec 01st 2014
164
you made your intentions clear...you've done your part
Dec 01st 2014
67
so you really expect him to act like he don't want you? for real.
Dec 01st 2014
68
lol @ "hungry look" ...if a dude's at that point, then he's got issues
Dec 01st 2014
73
wingwoman? fuck those.
Dec 01st 2014
79
      this helps your chances.
Dec 01st 2014
83
      and the mark will be ever more intrigued in stealing you away
Dec 01st 2014
89
      Nothing gets their attention faster than seeing you with another woman
Dec 01st 2014
87
           this makes sense. but is dependent on the security of the mark.
Dec 01st 2014
92
           if you conceive of objects of your affection as "marks,"
Dec 01st 2014
102
                believe it or not, i not a fan of 'games'.
Dec 01st 2014
113
           i am not surprised that he ain't pick up on this.
Dec 01st 2014
94
                don't be surprised, i think i just handle myself (socially) better than ...
Dec 01st 2014
100
no, that hungry look kinda worries me
Dec 01st 2014
78
That's his burden, not yours
Dec 01st 2014
88
whats the point of a clear conscience when the nigga is trying to fuck
Dec 01st 2014
104
that's his burden, not hers
Dec 01st 2014
114
why continue something that you know isn't genuine?
Dec 01st 2014
107
They're adults
Dec 01st 2014
115
      typing "they're adults" doesn't mean anything.
Dec 01st 2014
117
      RE: typing "they're adults" doesn't mean anything.
Dec 01st 2014
163
      you typed big boy pants. i can't take you seriously
Dec 01st 2014
118
           You have a good day then.
Dec 01st 2014
170
                i hope too. you as well.
Dec 01st 2014
171
yep, my conscience is super clear.
Dec 01st 2014
109
a real friend would have more empathy for their friend.
Dec 01st 2014
120
i can't clap loud and long enough to this.
Dec 01st 2014
121
agree
Dec 01st 2014
122
so what if i have a talk with him and he's all like 'girl! psh! im over ...
Dec 01st 2014
123
i had a friend that picked up on the fact that i was falling for him.
Dec 01st 2014
126
3 more outings and you will be in love again
Dec 01st 2014
130
that shows how much you know.
Dec 01st 2014
138
:)
Dec 01st 2014
133
yeah...distance is key.
Dec 01st 2014
136
he will probably be lying if he says he is over it.
Dec 01st 2014
127
that's on you.
Dec 01st 2014
129
      ^^^^^^^^^^^
Dec 01st 2014
131
      yup
Dec 01st 2014
135
      *double sigh
Dec 01st 2014
137
I've been on both sides of scout's situation
Dec 01st 2014
141
      i have too and it's not what i thought initially.
Dec 01st 2014
144
agreed
Dec 01st 2014
125
imma have a chat with him and see how things seem to me
Dec 01st 2014
140
RE: agreed
Dec 01st 2014
149
      this guy doesn't wanna love her, he wants to bone her.
Dec 01st 2014
155
           actually, he told me that he's not in love and that they are
Dec 01st 2014
160
                he wants the booty
Dec 01st 2014
166
                word up.
Dec 01st 2014
167
                dont hold back, now. i came here for okps opinion
Dec 01st 2014
169
                     yeah, he's lying in wait.
Dec 01st 2014
179
                see you should have included all of this in the OP.
Dec 01st 2014
172
                     it wasn't the point of the op
Dec 01st 2014
174
                          asking our opinion was
Dec 01st 2014
185
                               lol, honestly i didnt see how all of that complication was relevant
Dec 01st 2014
192
                                    It's completely relevant to the situation
Dec 01st 2014
201
                                         i'd also say it's about accountability
Dec 01st 2014
202
                                         it's not a faux friendship. i genuinely like his as a friend
Dec 01st 2014
216
                                         there is no way any of that info would have elicited accurate
Dec 01st 2014
215
                                              You don't think more info=more accurate opinions?
Dec 02nd 2014
239
Not always.
Dec 01st 2014
158
      RE: Not always.
Dec 01st 2014
168
Women made such swell friends.
Dec 01st 2014
105
...said the man with the broken dong
Dec 01st 2014
154
      you're the only one here who ever read a book i see
Dec 01st 2014
205
           i couldnt leave you hanging after a reference like that
Dec 07th 2014
240
Chick friends are cool.
Dec 01st 2014
134
If women cut off every male friend who showed interest in us, we'd
Dec 01st 2014
143
and?
Dec 01st 2014
150
Women are generally delusional about this.
Dec 01st 2014
161
that's what i'm saying, lol. sowhat has no problem having both
Dec 01st 2014
175
      not every dude wants to be romantical
Dec 01st 2014
176
      Not all guys want a relationship, but most straight guys will try you up...
Dec 01st 2014
181
      my GUESS is he just wants 'a bang'
Dec 01st 2014
182
      I be trying, tho. I hit him up every quarter just to see if he still gay...
Dec 01st 2014
178
      lol
Dec 01st 2014
183
      I see you, lfresh and I are gonna have a fight to the death huh?
Dec 01st 2014
186
           I mean...we might have to scrap it out
Dec 01st 2014
187
           see I'm poly so I know how to share
Dec 01st 2014
189
                yeah, naw. When he mine, he MINEZ.
Dec 01st 2014
190
           lol!
Dec 02nd 2014
229
      yes but i'm not close to any gay dudes who want the goodies
Dec 01st 2014
180
           so even if you made your goodies available none of your friends
Dec 01st 2014
184
                no. none of them who are my friends would bite.
Dec 01st 2014
188
                     lol @ because no
Dec 01st 2014
193
Wrong? No. Self-sabotage? Absolutely. It’s just a terrible idea.
Dec 01st 2014
145
the original OP sounds like she wanted to force a friendship...
Dec 01st 2014
162
he's going to go in it thinkin' he'll eventually wear you down or grow o...
Dec 01st 2014
194
stranger things have happened.
Dec 01st 2014
196
      maybe I read this wrong but it sounds like you are playing a lil game
Dec 01st 2014
203
      i'm bullshitting. i already know what i'mma do. he stands no
Dec 01st 2014
209
           *daps*
Dec 01st 2014
217
                RE: *daps*
Dec 02nd 2014
236
      girl, bye.
Dec 01st 2014
206
Why don't you switch roles?
Dec 01st 2014
195
so basically u want to be friends with his representative
Dec 01st 2014
199
i like to think i'm a good judge of character. if this is his A game
Dec 01st 2014
212
dude gotta be mature
Dec 01st 2014
204
I'd wager he's a fool. or already has a plate-full of pussy, or both.
Dec 01st 2014
207
do you change clothes around him? do you mind if he notices a nipple?
Dec 01st 2014
208
0_o the hell? the f*ck? maaaan, c'mon now. quit playing
Dec 01st 2014
210
      it happens.
Dec 01st 2014
214
nope. i have a guy friend like that...
Dec 01st 2014
211
i mean, that's not so bad, right?
Dec 01st 2014
213
      smh homie gonna be feeling like this at dinner
Dec 01st 2014
218
      dinner with you is torture. you ain't shit.
Dec 01st 2014
219
           I dunno, given how he's pining after her, she might be the shit
Dec 01st 2014
220
           He's being taken advantage of. She's bored. Its common. Its life.
Dec 01st 2014
222
                u stupid... but also 100% correct
Dec 02nd 2014
225
                this
Dec 02nd 2014
228
                nope. there is mutual benefit. mono y mono
Dec 02nd 2014
235
           lol
Dec 02nd 2014
234
nope, because men want to screw everyone anyway
Dec 01st 2014
221
exactly. you may as well ask if it's okay to have male friends...
Dec 02nd 2014
232
      this is wrong and not true
Dec 07th 2014
241
No man wants to be just friends with you
Dec 01st 2014
223
Stop speaking for all men
Dec 02nd 2014
226
      No
Dec 02nd 2014
227
RE: is it wrong to try to force a friendship w/ someone you know wants
Dec 02nd 2014
224
and what he wants aint wrong and very selfish?
Dec 02nd 2014
233
hits kinda close to home....wish i had advice
Dec 02nd 2014
230
Not if you make it abundantly clear that it's not going to happen.
Dec 02nd 2014
231
right. no mixed signals whatsoever, capt. i'm fair and kind
Dec 02nd 2014
237
Yes.
Dec 02nd 2014
238

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