I feel like I've been kicked in the gut, what the fuck do I do to people to make them deny me a full time job? You don't have to like me, but everyone hates me enough to fuck with my livelihood?

That's really hard to take. Last year; depression fucked with me hard and my work suffered but when the boss welcomed me back in the position I should have had from the start for this year I was relieved. Then he calls me days later to say the crew leaders voted and it sounded like it was unanimous... why interview and hire me only to have your crew vote and say fuck me, he doesn't deserve to eat?

I'm blown right now. The difference in how I felt yesterday compared to today is nuts, I feel terrible.

This position meant a lot to me and to have a group of people sit around and decide I don't deserve it is heartbreaking. How could I have offended everyone that much that they actively deny me this gig?