I've known a few guys that has taken that stance because their BM was on that b.s. and they fell into this income gray area where no organization is taking their case pro-bono but after the AG finishes docking his pay, there's no disposable income to set aside.

honestly, I think it's lazy thinking to say you have to be there for your kids. especially in some these guy's scenario where being there requires taking time off from the 1-2 jobs they're using to take care of essentials and travel to pick up/visit the kids and the money they don't have to do so.

One of the guy's in question is a friend. Dude was given an extra $150 from his job because of some rewards program that was a one off. I remember him saying, "I can take $150 and finally get my wisdom teeth pulled and get an update prescription for my glasses, I can put it aside towards getting a lawyer, or I can make my daughters happy for a moment and visit them, especially the youngest since she refuses to talk to me since I haven't been able to see her".

he decided to go see his kids and I can hear him telling me that seeing them will stem the tide but for a moment. It won't change a thing unless he gets a lawyer on his case.

since then his bm basically shuts down any conversation that rubs her the wrong way (information on doctor visits, school/grade info, etc) because any hint of criticism she takes as a personal assault on her ability as a mother. she always ends the call with "You don't like it, take me to court!".

I've recently paid for a lawyer on his behalf with no repayment necessary but if it wasn't I didn't do it, there was no one else in the position enough to help him out.

and he's a lucky case

happiness is a mediocre standard for a middle class existence - S. Williams

I don't not like you because you have dumb ideas about the world, I don't like you because you have other people's dumb ideas about the world. - Rjcc