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>And now that you have >learned that we have learned >that we are self-sufficient, and >that we can handle our >business "we don't need no >man".
It was my father, not another woman, who encouraged me to not look for myself in other men. I never say I don't need a man. I say, "Bring him on over...and see if he's on my level and become part of a life-affirming, spiritually-based relatioship." Leave the issues at the door or open up and let's work it out.
>But it is >with that ideology, that we >will subject our children to >the same pain that we >experienced.
For many years, while doing youth work, I found myself mentoring older boys, sometimes with major issues. I asked my father about it and he says he would have loved to have a mentor like me. I listen to men, young and old, as long as they are willing to be honest and open about their feelings.
I talk about my father, my childhood and other relationship issues with teens. I am certain that if and when I do have children of my own, my experiences will help them, not hurt them. I am not angry. Maybe when I was a teenager but not as a woman.
>Now, don't get >it twisted, I believe a >sista should be resourceful and >independent. But she should >also be whole, and behind >that statement (I don't need >no man) is anger.
I am already whole. I need a man who is already whole, ready to give the same 100% that I am. Forget that 50/50 b.s. I am talking about a partnership, as well as a relationship. The anger is over and the last thing I need is to relive a past that is dead. > Because even though >I don't need a man, >I love the balance that >comes with having (the right) >one.
For me the only way there will be balance is when a man can meet me on my level or better. 100% I am optimistic and if he's out there I am sure I will find him. When he finds me he will not find my past or anger towards my father. I understand him and I forgive him.
"Know thyself"
"Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you or forsake you". So we may boldly say, "The Lord is my helper, I will not fear. What can man do to me?" -- Hebrews 13:5,6
"There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path" --Morpheus in "The Matrix"
"It's our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities"- Dumbledore to Harry Potter "Chamber of Secrets"
<--- Blame this lady for Nutty.
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