we must stop minimizing the role of fathers in the lives of their children. Although my father wasn't there in every way I needed him to be, he "presence" did have a major impact on my perception of my self. My ideas on relationships, religion, education and even how I interact with my children have been colored by my early interaction with my father. Please understand, neither my sister nor I have a real "relationship" with my father. My children have only seen their grandfather about three times, and this is because my father doesn't make a true effort to see them or me. But in order to truly heal myself, I have accepted and acknowledged the gifts my father has given me, and I recognized the impact his presence (or lack thereof) has had on my life. My father is far from perfect, and he could have (and should have) done much more for me and my sister both financially and emotionally. But he didn't. And it affected me. Just as your father's "presence" affect you. And that is my point. IMHO