First let me mention that this Jonetta Rose person, sounds exactly like someone that I know Indirectly through a mutual "friend". If it is her, she indirectly gave me contact to a temp agency in the bay area. She should know who I am, and I like to thank her for the referal and say "I am sorry" about the whole situation for all that it's worth. Please check to see if it's her and deliver my sincere appologies. Post and Let me know if im appoligizing to the right person please.

To answer the questions (or somethin like that). I didn't really realize how much my not having a father impacted my life, until recently. I always thought that its better to have no father than to have a bad one, now im not sure. I always confuse sex with love, and actually I feel that sex shouldn't exist without love. I have a son and I had him when i was 19 part of the reson I wanted to have a baby boy was to raise a "good black man" that would not leave his responsiblities. When it comes to my relations ships (2, both very serious) with men, I have found myself trying to please and change myself for them, sometimes the change was something good that I actually am grateful that it happend and sometimes it was my being ignorant and not being true to myself. I always feel like someone is going to leave me so the people I allow intimately into my life are very few and it takes along time for me to open up. I also second guess myself alot when it comes to certain relationship issues, when i ask for certain things (behaviors), I am told im selfish, I don't like being ufair at all so then Im stuck wondering if I really am selfish. The most unfortunate part tho' is that if somebody accidentally f*cks up, i damn near send them to the dungion. I have a hard time trusting and forgiving people in general, but men especially. I really dont know if I answered any questions but this is my story until I decide to change it, if i don't the cycle will continue...I say one thing tho' I don't know if Im strong enough to take my own advice at this point...but if you are strong enough abstain from sex with a man
who is not committed/married to a life with you. This can prevent alot of "single mother" situations and ultimately help our sons and daughters to have real fathers and eliminate our co dependancy on unfufilling relationships(even if we love him). If women change thier minds about whats acceptable, men will rise to the occasion but all of us women gotta decide to do that shit together or it wont work.