>All of those feelings come into play for whichever side is the
>true victim. A dude that has consensual sex that is being
>accused of rape, now has to describe in intimate details how
>he knew she was consenting, what he was doing, what she was
>doing, what he was thinking, why he did this, that or the
>other. You think there is no shame for a falsely accused man?
>c'mon.

Your point about the accused facing shame is true. I didn't mean to imply that the accused wouldn't feel some embarrassment if they were a decent person. But due to the way that sexual trauma operates in the brain, opening up about the domestic violence or sexual assault takes on a distinct intensity. Obviously, both sides have valid needs for emotional support but the victim's trauma needs a special level of attention.

>There are more actual victims than false accusers but that
>doesn't mean an accused loses their rights to a defense.

Agreed, but victim shaming is, in my mind, an underhanded way of establishing a moral authority. It takes advantage of an impulse most people have to think victims of violence to think they 'did something' to invite the violence. If the accuser had a history of false claims against men that might be a valid defense, but the case being handled is what the evidence ought to focus on.