http://withleather.uproxx.com/2013/01/the-best-and-worst-of-wwe-raw-1713/6

Worst: The Rock, Or “How To Make Brandon Actually Hate A Pro Wrestler”

There was so much wrong with this, I don’t even know where to begin. Actually, I do know where to begin. That’s two, not 20, stupid.

The Rock has become such an icon to the casual fan that he brings them back into your pro graps conversation in waves … just a bunch of people who don’t care enough to watch the show or think constructively about anything that has happened in wrestling or society or culture in the x-amount of time since they last watched but feel it necessary to explain that THEIR opinion matters just as much as YOURS, and that you’re smug and think you’re better than them if you disagree. People who desire only moment-to-moment stimulation, and have no interested in putting in the time or effort to earn something deeper. The depressing thing is that they’re totally right — if you’re the person who only watches wrestling on a whim, guess what? How you think and feel and react to the show is just important as how anyone else does it. You’re who they’re writing the show for, after all.

The issue is that The Rock is stupid. He’s the WWE Universe. He’s a guy who barely watches wrestling, then shows up to the wrestling show thinking he knows everything, and if you disagree with him, it’s because you think you’re better than him, and you’re wrong! He doesn’t listen. He doesn’t pay attention. He’s the guy who thought up a joke about CM Punk wanting ice cream bars, but didn’t process what Punk said 5 minutes earlier about how he never wanted them, and that people were too fat for them anyway. He’s just gonna run with that joke anyway. He’s the guy who says CM Punk didn’t turn his back on the people, the people turned their back on CM Punk … the same people who cheered Punk for MONTHS after his heel turn, to the point that he had to explicitly hit them with YOU PEOPLE speeches on the regular until they stopped. He’s the guy who hears a contextual quote from ‘The Prodigal Son’ and thinks it’s about boxing and God, because he was up at 4 AM to do box jumps, not read books.

The babytalk adds to the stupidity. CM Punk isn’t calling him “THE LATE ONE” because he doesn’t show up enough, or calling him “THE CROCK” because he sucks, he’s hitting him with facts and information. Emotions. Thoughts. Accusations. Rock’s response, instead of acting like a human being, is to call him names. And guess what? They aren’t even names. They’re just words. He called him COOKIEPUSS because he mentioned ice cream three times a year and a half ago. He says he doesn’t have nuts. Then he just attacks him, because of course he does. The guy who has been backstage all night covering himself with oil gets verbally run down by the guy who BEAT RYBACK IN A TLC MATCH like 20 minutes earlier because … well, he’s stupid. He lashes out. He’s the WWE Universe. He doesn’t know how to handle himself like a f**king grown-up. It’s just a 40-year old man making ice cream truck jokes.

And that doesn’t even begin to get into the bubble Rock lives in. He’s tall and handsome and he was popular when wrestling was popular, so it’s okay that he’s talking baby talk and not paying attention, because it entertained you. He can take 20 minutes to say 5 minutes of material because he’s got to stall for time to remember it (LET THE ROCK TELL YOU THIS, THE ROCK WILL TELL YOU THIS, LET HIM TELL YOU THIS, not to mention all the times he just repeats what he said for emphasis to fill in the silence) and it’s a “great promo,” not because it was, but because it was The Rock. It’s sad the way he’s never challenged to try harder at a job he barely wants, made even worse by the fact that he’s not across the ring from cornball John Cena, failed husband and football star, he’s in there with a guy who was curtain jerking with BJ Whitmer and busting his ass to be somebody the last time Rock was a regular. A guy who is, for all intents and purposes, our generation’s definition of what wrestling is. The indy guy who made it, but is so sick of our shit he’ll disown every stepping stone he used to get here. Effort versus laziness. Part-time versus all the time. Passion versus total apathy. Rock’s passion for wrestling is just as real as Punk’s concern for Tyson Kidd, and just as much a part of a character.

So laugh when he says Cookiepuss, if that’s what makes you laugh. You and me are very different people. And it’s all equal, because of course it is.