| Go back to previous topic | | Forum name | Freestyle Board | | Topic subject | #6 of 30. climax. | | Topic URL | http://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=7&topic_id=85595 |
85595, #6 of 30. climax.
Posted by Morehouse, Thu Apr-08-10 10:11 AM
your voice was the song
i was thinking of
while we made love.
the neighbors told us
to turn the music down
but we were at the part
when the chorus
doubles back into itself
again and again,
just to make sure
we felt it the first time.
the sound our lips
make while touching,
sweat dripping
off my brow
finding rhythm,
the moon's light
at your collarbone,
as our bodies
danced inside
a beating drum
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85596, RE: #6 of 30. climax.
Posted by gsquared, Thu Apr-08-10 04:47 PM
soft clarity, very nice...
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85599, wrd up...
Posted by serpentinefire, Thu Apr-08-10 11:24 PM
love the metaphor...
and i particularly dig the rhythm that you maintained throughout the piece
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85605, our own personal Trey Songz...
Posted by mindful, Fri Apr-09-10 06:07 AM
this was pleasant, passionate, and well worth the read...
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85617, RE: #6 of 30. climax.
Posted by HueyNewton, Sat Apr-10-10 02:35 PM
like the way metaphors dictate the pace of this, nice one . . {}
smoke cigars cuban large
-xxx
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