I left the theater thinking Gabriel Byrne's character had the most tragic story arc of anyone in the movie. He was just this tired old dude trying to be a decent father and dad. His whole family is falling apart and he can't fix it and even has to drink and take pills to keep it together. Dude was in way over his head, and on top of all that he gets lit on fire before he even figures out what's going on.

With the cemetery stuff, I assumed that he didn't tell Collette because she was already grieving and he didn't want to trouble her with even more awful shit.