"Shitty Movies That You Saw As A Kid In The Theaters And Most People Have Forgotten By Now But You Still Remember For Some Reason"

I've become more discriminating, some would say crotchety, as I've gotten (relatively) older, so a number of the movies I saw as a kid, nowadays wouldn't fly for a second. However, there were those times when I wasn't so picky and was easily impressed by a seemingly quirky premise or a pratfall. And the only reason I still remember these movies at all was that I was young and they were bad.

These are the ones that wasted either allowance money, my parents', or my friends' parents'.

Celtic Pride (1996)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0115851/
Getting Even With Dad (1994)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109891/
Mr. Wrong (1996)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117102/
Senseless (1998)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120820/
Spice World (1997)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120185/

Beat that.

And, for the sake of this post, "kid" refers to any time before 13 or so.

(I will most likely be adding to this thread, BTW)

And remember when Bill Pulman was popular? The mid 90's . . . I tell ya.

>And remember when Bill Pulman was popular? The mid 90's . .
>. I tell ya.

I still dont think he's finished yet. Maybe someone like QT can find the right project 4 him. I thought he was really good in movies like Zero Effect & Malice but it seems like hardly anyone saw either 1 of those movies. He was really good in Spaceballs as well.

>>And remember when Bill Pulman was popular? The mid 90's .
>.
>>. I tell ya.
>
>I still dont think he's finished yet. Maybe someone like QT
>can find the right project 4 him. I thought he was really good
>in movies like Zero Effect & Malice but it seems like hardly
>anyone saw either 1 of those movies. He was really good in
>Spaceballs as well.
>


I thought I was the only one who saw (and liked) Malice.

>>>And remember when Bill Pulman was popular? The mid 90's .
>>.
>>>. I tell ya.
>>
>>I still dont think he's finished yet. Maybe someone like QT
>>can find the right project 4 him. I thought he was really
>good
>>in movies like Zero Effect & Malice but it seems like hardly
>>anyone saw either 1 of those movies. He was really good in
>>Spaceballs as well.
>>
>
>
>I thought I was the only one who saw (and liked) Malice.

Naw son. That was my shit back in the day. Was blown away by it @ the time. Before the twist endings became routine. Plus I thought most of the movie was goin 2 be about the janitor/stalker @ the begining so that was a nice little twist as well.

I can't say I saw these in theaters exactly. . . some of these were made a few years before I was born but were still big during my childhood in the 80s, some were TV movies. Some I just didn't see till they were on VHS. Anyway, here's a bunch of awful stuff that I used to watch as a child:

The Boy Who Could Fly
Not Quite Human
Pete's Dragon
Return To Oz
Flight Of The Navigator
The Cat From Outerspace
Adventures In Babysitting
Gotcha
Condorman
Doctor Detroit
Innerspace
The Last Starfighter
Little Monsters
My Best Friend Is A Vampire
Harry And The Hendersons
The Wizard
Batteries Not Included
Vice Versa

>Flight Of The Navigator

Last year, one of my roommates got this from Netflix. I made fun of him for like a week.

>Adventures In Babysitting

Aside from the token white-kids-in-black-club-scene, I don't remember anything too appalling from this one. I mean, you can at least appreciate Elisabeth Shue, can't you?

>Little Monsters

Oh, man, you just took it back. I saw this in a summer camp I was in as a kid (to keep me off the mean streets of Sacramento, I think).

Howie Mandel + Fred Savage + makeup effects = good times.

I think I got you beat though, because I actually owned the novelization of Little Monsters (just as I did with Getting Even With Dad).

>>Adventures In Babysitting
>
>Aside from the token white-kids-in-black-club-scene,

Is that the part where they're like "You can't leave until you sing the blues"? Or something like that. That was really bizarre.

>I don't
>remember anything too appalling from this one.

Don't let your nostalgia cloud your judgement. It's a bad movie.

>I mean, you
>can at least appreciate Elisabeth Shue, can't you?

Yes. Definitely yes. lol.

>I think I got you beat though, because I actually owned the
>novelization of Little Monsters (just as I did with Getting
>Even With Dad).

Yeah, that's pretty bad.

>Adventures In Babysitting

Awful or Awesome?

>Gotcha

Still got the gun son

>Doctor Detroit

ZooTown's Halloween costume if I remember correctly

>Innerspace

Liked it when I saw it. Pretty shiddy now.


>Little Monsters
>The Wizard
>Vice Versa

Big Fred Savage fan back in the day?

>Innerspace
>The Last Starfighter
>Little Monsters
>Harry And The Hendersons
>The Wizard
>Batteries Not Included

THEY HAVE NOT AGED WELL

you just play it real cool when talking about The Wizard, Little Monsters and Harry and the hendersons

Bite your tounge! Bite it!

next thing youre gonna tell me is that Just One Of the Guys is a bad movie

SMH

w/ that truck yo! and the boat shot out of it! haha.

Flight Of The Navigator
Adventures In Babysitting
Little Monsters
Harry And The Hendersons
The Wizard
Batteries Not Included

yall need to step yo game up

and is cat from outer space the one with the cat with the light up collar who can control the outcome of billiards games and shit?

This post is wierd because I was thinking of this movie last night. I can't remember anything about this film only the part when the kid replaces the dad's toothbrush, and I thought of that because my toothbrush needed to be replaced. That was a very dumb anecdote, I know, but it seemed like the right place to share it.

>This post is wierd because I was thinking of this movie last
>night.

That's a helluva random thought.

>I can't remember anything about this film only the part
>when the kid replaces the dad's toothbrush, and I thought of
>that because my toothbrush needed to be replaced. That was a
>very dumb anecdote, I know, but it seemed like the right place
>to share it.

My whole entire posting style is based on dumb anecdotes. You're at home.

Getting Even With Dad was actually on TV a couple weeks ago. I managed to watch about five minutes of it before I realized how dumb the idea of Ted Danson as a heavy is. And his ponytail was not helping out either.

Transylvania 6-5000 (which I believe starred Jeff Goldblum and Ed Begley, Jr.)
The Squeeze (Michael Keaton and Rae Dawn Chong... SMELL the box office!)
Godzilla 1985
Moving Violations
The Longshot (Tim Conway-Ted Wass horse racing movie... with an opening rap by Ice-T!)
License to Drive
Enemy Mine
Red Sonja
Spies Like Us


among others
________________________________________________________________________
"But if you brought in the beat, that's all you did, was brought in the beat. You didn't produce this record.
This song says 'Produced by,' not 'Brought in the beat by...'"
-Snoop Dogg

Transylvania 6-500 was my shit. I'm smiling just thinking about right now. I don't even wanna see it again. I'm sure I wouldn't like it now.

>License to Drive

I actually thought hitting the DMV computer would be a good plan B in case I didn't pass the test. (But I think the permit test was written when I took it anyway.)

>License to Drive

I like this movie if only for the license examiner's delivery of the line, "Very, very, very good" after Natalie parallel parked.

--Maurice

V.

http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0109447/

Brandis (RIP) + Norris + Pisscapo(sp) x Karate= Great Cinema

Like exactly like Vice Versa & about a dozen other movies

Fred Savage. Who needs that holy roller Kirk Cameron?

Edit: It did have Rudy tho, so it gets points for that.

>Fred Savage.

DOH! Shoulda known

Who needs that holy roller Kirk Cameron?
>
>Edit: It did have Rudy tho, so it gets points for that.

Bonner>>>>>>>>>Rudy

But I remember when I was in elementary school, every year when the movie version of Popeye would be shown on the local Fox channel here in NYC, it was a yearly event for me and the classmates I had.

Even as a kid, I knew that was a shitty-ass movie.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

kurly's Super-Duper Awesome DVD Collection:
http://www.dvdaficionado.com/dvds.html?cat=1&id=kurlyswirl

Man, that movie blew even when I was 9.

Goddamn, that's bad.

That's real talk... You've got to make a real shitty movie for a ten year old to tell...


"Got more style than a pimp wearin' pink pythin pumps, pushin' a purple Cadillac..."

- Reese Del Uno AKA Chuck Taylor (Bleu Collar)

Ghost Dad
Monkey Trouble
Hocus Pocus
Man of the House
The Sandlot
Baby's Day Out
Super Mario Bros
Little Monsters
Camp Nowhere
The Mighty Ducks/D2: The Mighty Ducks
Sidekicks
Surf Ninjas
Three Ninjas, Three Ninjas: Kick Back, Three Ninjas:Nuckle Up (High Noon at Mega Mountain was way past my time)
The Next Karate Kid
Meteor Man
Mo' Money
Mr. Nanny

and one of my favourites...
"Airborn", starring Shane McDermott, Seth "The Wiley Man" Green, and a young and obnoxious Jack Black

they're all just movies i loved as a kid that you know would get shat on by grown ups. we're the grown ups now, and we shit on movies like sleepover, hardball, and just my luck. but they're in that same category.

i own the dvd of heavy weights and have watched it numerous times just out of the sheer glee i get from its viewing pleasure.

>they're all just movies i loved as a kid that you know would
>get shat on by grown ups. we're the grown ups now, and we shit
>on movies like sleepover, hardball, and just my luck. but
>they're in that same category.
>
>i own the dvd of heavy weights and have watched it numerous
>times just out of the sheer glee i get from its viewing
>pleasure.

How can you put Heavyweights in the same category with trash like Just My Luck?!

Heavyweights is hilarious, one of Ben Stiller's shining moments

> Heavyweights
>The Sandlot
>The Mighty Ducks/D2: The Mighty Ducks




>"Airborn", starring Shane McDermott, Seth "The Wiley Man"
>Green, and a young and obnoxious Jack Black

And I have a special place in my heart for this one, just because the unintended humor puts it over the top for me

I remeber it was this girl Bailey's 10th birthday. March sometime, and we were originally gonna see Dumb & Dumber. However, since we also were all 9 or 10, it was PG-13, and Bailey's parents didn't wanna get anybody else's parents mad, we settled on Heavyweights.

I remember enjoying it, then again on video. Seeing it a couple years later, it wasn't as good, but still very watchable.

Kinda weird that, at the time, I had no idea who Ben Stiller was, let alone that it was him at the end playing a dual role.

Also, I think I had a tiny ten-year old crush on the female camp counselor back then.

>The Sandlot

This is still great, and the fireworks scene is one of my favorite minutes of film.

>Baby's Day Out

John Hughes was fucking up by '94. Saw it on video and knew it sucked.

>Camp Nowhere

With that one guy who was in every teen movie in the 90's.

>The Mighty Ducks/D2: The Mighty Ducks

That opening sequence got me so hyped in the theater.

>Sidekicks

I haven't seen this in forever. Doubt it would hold up.

>Surf Ninjas

Tone Loc, a special video game, and attacking an island fortress via surfboards. Good shit.

>Three Ninjas, Three Ninjas: Kick Back, Three Ninjas:Nuckle Up

Kick Back, where they go to Japan? wack. Never even saw Knuckle Up, but the first is a classic. We named this stray dog my family took in "Rocky" in honor of the older brother.

http://manrobotmonster.livejournal.com/75213.html

Over the last couple months I've rented a lot of "classic comedy" from Netflix. Most of yinz that are around my age know what this means. All the stuff we grew up believing was the funniest shit in the universe: Caddyshack, Stripes, Blazing Saddles, Animal House, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Bachelor Party, et cetera, et cetera. You know, all of the stuff from the 70s and 80s before comedy branched into low-budget screwball Police Academy ripoffs and teen dramadies a la John Hughes.

I'm not entirely sure why my generation holds so many of these films in such high regard (especially Caddyshack). Did we really think they were so funny when we saw them, or did our older brothers all think they were really funny so we just agreed to appear cool? But I'm here to tell you that most of those movies just aren't that good. The Mel Brooks stuff is still alright, and The Jerk still gets a lot of laughs from me, but almost all of those other movies are not only stupid (hey, Dodgeball is stupid) but they're not very funny, completely disjointed, and generally lead to me just wishing they were over by about 2/3rds of the way through.

In general the formula for most of these "classic" movies is that a bunch of guys sat around a room doing a ton of drugs and came up with ideas for scenes they thought would be really wacky. But like most guys who sit around doing a bunch of drugs they did everything half-assed, feeling like they'd accomplished their goal after the first couple brainstorming sessions. So in general these movies move from one "wacky" scene to the next with no real feeling of continuity or plot or story arc. The scenes themselves sound funny when you describe them to someone but when you actually sit down and watch them... not so much.

Which in itself isn't so bad. I mean, a lot of movies that I've rewatched over the years just don't hold up... or if it does, it does so only in a nostalgia sense. I still enjoy Three Amigos, but I think if I hadn't seen it every Friday night it was playing at the Tri-Boro cinema back in 1986 I wouldn't really like watching it today. But what I find bizarre is how many people treat the idea that Caddyshack isn't actually that great as some kind of horrendous blasphemy.

"It's a classic" they say. Then they give you all sorts of reasons why you didn't like it. You need to watch it drunk, or stoned, or with a bunch of other people (perhaps all drunk and/or stoned). But I don't buy that shit any more than I buy that The Dead are really awesome but I just don't appreciate them because I haven't seen them live on acid. If you have to put all sorts of conditions on the viewing of a movie (aside from the obvious ones... like watch it from beginning to end without interruption) that's a hint-and-a-half that its not a classic.

If they don't say they, they'll often say that you have to understand a movie based on the time it came out, or how groundbreaking this movie was or how you "can't" make a movie like this anymore (I love the people who act like teen sex and drug use are verboten topics that no one makes movies about, what fucking planet have they been on for the past decade?). The problem is that this very argument bolsters my point that said "classic" isn't that great. A movie should stand on its own merits as a good movie. I shouldn't have to like a movie because its an important part of cinema history, or because a bunch of other people decided I *have to* like it.

Of course, I do admit that I bring these arguments on by stating my opinion as fact (i.e. "Caddyshack isn't all that great" rather than "I don't really like Caddyshack"... although I think the latter would still lead to the same discussion). I also admit that certain types of movies appeal to certain people. But since my comedy tastes include not only Whit Stillman and the Coen Brothers, but also Happy Gilmore, Super Troopers, and Anchorman I hardly think I can be accused of being a movie snob, overthinking, or just not "getting" dumb comedy. I just don't like to waste my time on unfunny comedy simply because others have declared it "a classic."

And I guess in the end the use of that term is really what bugs me. By definition a classic is something that stands the test of time. We all learned in High School english class that the reason William Shakespeare is the greatest writer ever is because you can take his plays and set them in any place and time and they still make sense, centuries after they were written. Of course, one can argue about whether that is true of Shakespeare, especially if one is said high school student assigned to read and understand MacBeth, but if that's the standard for what constitutes "a classic" I hardly think a movie that doesn't hold up two decades later unless your drunk, high, and in a room full of people who all loved it as kids qualifies.

It's not like there aren't tons of examples of great films that have truly stood the test of time. Cool Hand Luke is as great a movie today as it was when it came out before I was born. Old Yeller will still make anyone who watches it cry like a baby. Theres a reason It's a Wonderful Life is a classic, and its not just because someone, somewhere declared it so (unlike, say, Rebel Without a Cause). The final three-way standoff in the Spaghetti Western A Fistful of Dollars is so well done that it holds its own against modern huge-budget CGI-infused blockbuster action climaxes. Even the original Planet of the Apes holds up if you're not immediately turned off by the 60's-era costumes - I mean who can deny the raw charisma of The Hest and his enormous, manly teeth?

There are more recent movies, too, that I think will have the chance to prove themselves classics in the long run - Barcelona, The Usual Suspects, Glengarry Glenn Ross, High Fidelity, Reservior Dogs, The Lord of the Rings, and dozens of others that aren't at the top of my head. And if I'm lucky, by then few people will even remember Fast Times at Ridgemont High, although maybe the next generation will be adamant that everyone must love Freddy Got Fingered.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090887/

Pops took me and a bunch of other kids to see this at the dollar show. I thought it was great as a 10 year old, now I wonder how I actually sat through it.....



<---- YEEEEEEAH!!! Now that's a REAL pimp cup......

Starring Andy Kaufman as the father of a robot family on the run. Also features the talents of Randy Quaid and Christopher Guest.

Top that, bee-otches!!!!

Almost an Angel
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099018/

Nothing But Trouble
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102558/

The Secret of My Success
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093936/

Drop Dead Fred
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101775/

Curiously, the middle two have been on HBO lately.

I saw it the theatre solely to see Digital Underground perform "Same Song." Wasn't worth it. At all.

I also saw "Drop Dead Fred." Didn't hate it at the time. But man, looking back on it, boy does it suck.

It's pretty much the template for my nightmares, so it's safe to assume other people have had a rough time forgetting it too.

And in fact have acted in several plays with her. I is a balla.

Big difference, though prolly not as bad as Nothing But Trouble.

She was also on the Nickelodean game show with the head that words popped up on and panels of experts had to guess what the kid had done/invented/etc. She was one of the mimes or whatever that acted different stuff out. I was kind of jealous. But whatever, SHE never got a call back for Little Rascals like I did, so ha.

n/m

--Maurice

--Maurice

there is very little that's shitty about that movie.

ran home amped-up, and ready to quit school.

I'm fittna shot this n*gga...
______________________________________________________________________
"But if you brought in the beat, that's all you did, was brought in the beat. You didn't produce this record.
This song says 'Produced by,' not 'Brought in the beat by...'"
-Snoop Dogg

n/m

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101786/




NEW DUMHI ALBUM ALSO ON ITUNES!
http://www.myspace.com/dumhi http://www.myspace.com/dawgeatah
http://www.myspace.com/mycrewisnice

for some reason i was all about this shit when i was a youngster

watched it at a later age and was 100% dumbfounded at how i couldve liked the shit so much

Baby Geniuses.

I wanted 2 leave the theater sooooooooooooo bad but a bunch of us went 4 a birthday party. We all had a good time clownin it @ Chuck e Cheese later on tho

My mom only wanted to see this because "LOOFA" was in it.

The Meteor Man (1993)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107563/


Oh, this one. LL Cool J and Jamie Foxx was in this one. Too bad for them. At least the movie looked cool.

Toys (1992)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105629/


I can't believe I even liked this one. Tagline-->Prepare to go Ballistic! BALLISTIC! (I added that last one)

Broken Arrow (1996)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0115759/


I don't think I've ever been more disappointed in an adaptation than this.

Beloved (1998)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120603/


The only Will Smith movie I utterly hate. The WWW music video>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>the actual movie.

Wild Wild West (1999)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120891/


And who can forget Captain Ron?

Captain Ron (1992)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103924/


As a matter of fact, add Tango & Cash to that list.

Tango & Cash (1989)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098439/


As a matter of fact, while Sly Stallone is mentioned--

Rambo III (1988)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095956/

Lock Up (1989)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097770/

Rocky V (1990)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100507/

Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105477/

Judge Dredd (1995)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113492/

Whew...I got more but I don't feel like posting them yet. Needless to say, Stallone owns this post.