and isn't that something.
we are both fucked.

i cant even read news about south sudan anymore.

my friend (kerubino) was killed a few weeks ago
he started a movement against the government....
went to lakes state to set up his base (the first place i lived (rumbek) in when i first went to south sudan)
the army basically told the local folk that he was a threat and so... they killed him.
there is video online where they talk about this... and its so hard to watch because.... damn we are lost
i dont even understand what he was thinking.... he was pardoned by the president last year and i assumed he left the country (as he should've)
and the way i found out all this was really fucked up.

we also have covid. all our 5(!) vice presidents caught it..but somehow none of them died (i was praying for this)
it was recently the 9th anniversary of our independence..and i was thinking about how i always made sure i was in juba, at mausoleum with everyone celebrating
and this year....nothing could take me to south sudan. nothing.
i miss everything about juba, but the juba i miss does not exist (same is true for all of south sudan),

i would say... leave if you can.
the Sudan will always hold a special place in our hearts
but the Sudan we hope for, wish for and yearn for... does not exist.