how common is this?
have you come across it?
what did you do?
whats your take on these types of parents?

ill never forget, during the last week of school in 2nd grade, the school picked a day for us all to spend with our next years teacher.

they put big sneeches like yellow starts on our chests with our next grade, teachers name, and lined us up to visit our new classroms.

all except 'Pete', Pete still had 2nd grade on his chest with the same teacher. i can still see the look of confusion on his face and how bugged out his eyes were as a whole class of 8 year olds surrounded him pointing at his star and asking him why his still said 2nd grade.

i remember that night my grandmother saying he didnt pass to the next grade because his mom was doing his homework for him.

at the time i didnt understand what that meant. my 8 year old mind just couldnt process a parent doing homework for their child.

years later in 6th grade i had 2 cousins that my grandmother would say the same thing about, their mother does their homework for them.

my grandmother and my aunt were both educators, my aunt at the time, a history teacher. one night i was over my aunts house late on a Sunday and my aunt tells my cousins its time to get ready for school and go in her room to finish their homework

so, my 2 cousins go in her room, pull out her teachers edition book, and sure enough, start copying answers for their homework.

it was then that i understood what my grandmother had been saying about them for years.

ffwd to now, i have an in law outright doing her kids homework. 3 kids, 2 in kindergarten, 1 in 7th grade.

its such a bizarre thing to witness.

cutting and pasting homework assignments for the kindergartners

completely re-doing the 7th graders homework

watching her scramble late night over the 7th graders homework while the 7th grader is in the same room playing playstation or on the computer.

the level of denial

jesus.

never in my adult years did i ever think i would see something like this up close, especially from someone i thought had it all together.

"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

This post reminds me of the Cosby episode where Rudy’s homework was all wrong because Cliff was making up stories and using bug ass words.

it was usually basic shit. a work sheet with 1 or 2 letters on it. Practing writing that letter capitol and lower case over and over and a word that letter started with. A A A A A A A A a a a a a a a Ant Ant Ant Ant Ant Ant. Then some shit to cut out with scissors and paste onto another sheet. To practice their motor skills. That shit drove me crazy. Watching him slowly cut out the most basic shapes. Then maybe a coloring sheet. Then practicing site words. We could do the whole packet in an hour. But I would spread it out through the week so he had a little something to work on every day after work so he practiced a little bit each day.

its like 5min worth of work and it helps us know what they're learning so we can put stuff in better context and move the needle forward at home

I remember a story about teachers AND parents complaining about the amount of homework kids have these days.

Seems a little early to have homework at that age.

*slow claps*

being me.

Sheeeeit! I only helped when my kids proved that they couldn't do iton their own. "Dad, it's hard" was not enough proof. I needed to see them struggle and attempt to find answers, on their own, before I woiuld get involved.

This has to be one of the reasons why we have some many kids and adults, in the world today, who can't think for themselves or who crumble at the thought of having to do anything for themselves.

Edit:
I see those kids, whose parent did their homework (and, by extension, everything else), struggle in real everyday life.

>how common is this?
Common enough.

Parents and spouses/s.o.'s love to ghost participate in courses.

>have you come across it?
Yes.

When it happens, I use it as an opportunity to talk with students about *their* choices, and how *their* choices might have consequences for what's happening *in class*. I try to advise what the *best* courses of action might be. I emphasize to the student that *they* are taking the course--NOT mom or dad. I tell them that if they wind up failing the course because they choose to continue turning in work that's not their own, it will be *their* grade...NOT mom or dad's.

>what did you do?
I try to make sure a fair amount of major work can only be completed in class (tests, essays, presentations, whatever). When students deny assistance, it's helpful to be able to use the work they've done in class as a frame of reference.

My syllabus is clear about what types of assistance aren't okay, too.

When I give student feedback on an assignment that's been completed by a parent, I plainly tell the student that the syllabus guidelines are clear, emphasize the consequences, and encourage the student to trust that they can get through my course on their own. I usually offer resources for more support, as well. Depending on the circumstance, I go the extra mile to make myself available because sometimes it's hard for kids to say "no" to their parents.

I never directly address parents in student feedback because I already know parents will read it. The clear implication of the feedback is always that mom and dad aren't helping when they do your work, and you have what it takes without them.

9.5 times out of 10, parents stop doing work when I give students feedback about their parents helping them. Of those 9.5 instances, it ALWAYS only takes one mention about the issue for it to stop.

>whats your take on these types of parents?
Obviously it's not helpful. It's cheating, and it's unfair to students who do their own work and let the chips fall where they may.

I get that parents want their kids to have every opportunity to be successful. This gets more complicated, too, when a student has a learning disability or some other issue they have to navigate.

I think some parents are pushing their kids to do what they don't want to do and be what they can't.

It's sad, and encourages a mediocrity that forces kids to be trapped in an awful lie about themselves. Plus, it steamrolls and overlooks the strengths a kid might possess and can develop.

They're so used to using a computer to do their work.
The time it takes to sit and use a pen/pencil and paper frustrates a lot of them!