>because I think you'll find people who had other problems

I don't totally understand your point here.

to me, there are always other problems and they shape who we are and who we'll become. That's a huge part of what needs to be communicated in a relationship in the first place.

If I crave a sense of order in our household bc I was raised in a chaotic one, the better I'm able to understand that in myself, the better I'll be able to express it to my partner and hopefully come to some understanding.

That understanding may be that I need to get some counseling to process my history and learn to not be as triggered by clutter but she may also commit to being more organized in shared spaces so I'm less likely to be triggered and irritable.

It may also be that there's too wide of a gulf between us so we'd be running uphill in an icestorm if we continued the relationship.

I think it's more constructive for the couple to communicate more even if they end up splitting because they learn more from the situation. If you just break up because you're a "neat freak" and she's a "slob", you're likely to just carry your problems into the next relationship.