For me the work part means both partners do things that the other will appreciate. It shouldn't be HARD work, because you shouldn't have to break your back to please your spouse. To me the work is needed just to keep things fresh. It shouldn't be one spouse planning nights out all the time, it shouldn't be one spouse setting up nice things for the other. When people say put in work like you have to always be on your grind that makes me question if those people are even compatible in the first place. It's a relationship, not a full time job, and it shouldn't feel like that.