There’s always a potluck.

Birthday club? Monthly potluck.
New employee? Potluck.
Old employee, new to the unit? Potluck.

Having a baby? 10-year anniversary at work? There happens to be a holiday that month?

Potluck, potluck, potluck.

I tend to avoid these things, but I can only take so much prodding.
After a week of “come on, c’mon on, c’mooooon”, and then being asked why I don’t participate in the various potluck events at work about a gazillion times, I realized I had to either be extra, super-duper stern, on some WHAT PART OF I’M NOT INTERESTED DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND to these people, or just attend one.

One reason I avoid these, is because everyone wants you to try their extra-special, souped-up, baconated, cheesed out, grandma’s version of whatever dish they brought, and boy-howdy, they don’t much take well to the word “no thanks”.

And if you just plain don’t like whatever the dish is, in general, gosh darnit, you haven’t had it done proper because *their* version is the bees knees.

Sure, it’s very hit and miss, but the thing is, the hits are usually “edible” while the misses are usually something that isn’t just bad, but vile.

So to be polite, sociable, and, frankly, to get simply get these fine folks off my back on the subject, I attended. Regrettably.

Because I had, for the first time, Devils Surprise Eggs.

Note: nothing with the word “surprise” in the name should ever be consumed without being explicitly told what the surprise is. So that’s on me for finally, mercifully acquiescing.

First, a deviled egg is perfect, as is. KISS and all that.
Second, it’s high on my list of things to avoid at such office functions.
Today, my reward for being a team player with my personal time, was the, uh, “pleasure” of biting into, for the first and last time, a deviled egg full of allegedly diced onions and green onions, bacos, and a “surprise!” layer of sour cream in the mix.

I thought the hunk of green onion on top was garnish, but no. there were other leafy hunks of this inside. I’m pretty sure the onions were “diced” with a weed wacker. Or by Jason Voorhees, I’m still debating on this one. Because this wasn’t diced. It was hacked. Just massive, oddly-sized hunks of onion.

This does not mesh well, alliteration unintended, with the mush of the egg mixture. And the sour cream, while disgusting in and of itself (to me), must have come from a dollar store, because it was basically milk at this point.

I was polite, and honestly cited the textural contrast not being my thing, rather than honestly citing how repulsive the entire thing was.

This lady told me to finish it, because everyone loves them. She pouted about it, loudly saying that everyone loves them, and she doesn’t understand what my problem is.


>There’s always a potluck.
>
>Birthday club? Monthly potluck.
>New employee? Potluck.
>Old employee, new to the unit? Potluck.
>
>Having a baby? 10-year anniversary at work? There happens to
>be a holiday that month?
>
>Potluck, potluck, potluck.

thats how my old job was. must not be that way here or people dont like me cuz i have never been invited to one lol

>
>I tend to avoid these things, but I can only take so much
>prodding.
>After a week of “come on, c’mon on, c’mooooon”, and
>then being asked why I don’t participate in the various
>potluck events at work about a gazillion times, I realized I
>had to either be extra, super-duper stern, on some WHAT PART
>OF I’M NOT INTERESTED DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND to these people,
>or just attend one.

word up

>
>One reason I avoid these, is because everyone wants you to try
>their extra-special, souped-up, baconated, cheesed out,
>grandma’s version of whatever dish they brought, and
>boy-howdy, they don’t much take well to the word “no
>thanks”.

funny how bacon and cheese are everyone's secret ingredients

>
>And if you just plain don’t like whatever the dish is, in
>general, gosh darnit, you haven’t had it done proper because
>*their* version is the bees knees.
>

thankfully ive never had to deal with anyone being so pushy.

the deviled eggs sounded horrible but i dont really like any of the ingredients listed by themselves or with other dishes.

this reminds me of a pot luck we had at our old job. one of the guys i was friends with made some sort of veggie dish and this one lady really loved it. she kept begging him for the recipe. he would not give it to her. this lady was the lady all the guys wanted at the time. we still tease him about it to this day.

I love deviled eggs.... but only ones I or Shimmy make... maybe I'd let my mom do it but no.. eggs done like that are something you don't need any mystery about and are only to be handled by those your trust most dearly with your life... yeah no trust for random deviled eggs.. folks should know better than to serve that ish to acquaintances... and you are not wrong about "surprise" miss me with food surprises please.

fuck that sounds terrible. The chives okay. But raw onion? FUCK THAT

Unless they are cooked and sauteed to the point that they're basically liquid strings, onions do nothing but inevitably make whatever food they come into contact with taste ... like fucking onions.

And onions are disgusting, so that's a bad thing.


Anyway that sounds awful. But at least now you know you never have to attend one of those again haha.

>Unless they are cooked and sauteed to the point that they're
>basically liquid strings, onions do nothing but inevitably
>make whatever food they come into contact with taste ... like
>fucking onions.
>
>And onions are disgusting, so that's a bad thing.
>
>
>Anyway that sounds awful. But at least now you know you never
>have to attend one of those again haha.


http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/msty.gif

>http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/msty.gif

She didn't put everything, individually, into one egg.

You mash the yolk, and your mayo and seasoning, and fill the egg with the mash. Deviled eggs tend to also be over-filled, not merely topped off.

In this case, that mixture happened to contain bacos, green onion, and onion. The sour cream was placed at the bottom, and the repugnant mash was spooned in.

You could make anything, with any number of ingredients, take a scoop of that mixture, and fill the egg.

>She didn't put everything, individually, into one egg.

LOL...i know this...

>You mash the yolk, and your mayo and seasoning, and fill the
>egg with the mash. Deviled eggs tend to also be over-filled,
>not merely topped off.

Even over filled, I just don't get how anyone could have thought it was going to be a good end result... all that chunky shit is the antithesis of what a deviled egg is supposed to be...

>In this case, that mixture happened to contain bacos, green
>onion, and onion. The sour cream was placed at the bottom, and
>the repugnant mash was spooned in.

>You could make anything, with any number of ingredients, take
>a scoop of that mixture, and fill the egg.

but you BETTA not call it a deviled egg...
my take; they were really really really high
that sounds like a major weed driven recipe.

at our work potlucks i just eat the desserts and then go get lunch after. and when they ask why i tell em straight up that i want to eat a good lunch that i know i'm going to like. your food is the lottery.

I sweat when I eat even moderately spicy food. And at work potlucks like that, someone will often bring buffalo chicken dip or something similar. So when someone's like "ohh you *gotta* try my buff chix dip" I'm usually just like "you ever seen Along Came Polly ? Yea I'm all set"

http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/ben-stiller/images/25859384/title/ben-stiller-along-came-polly-screencap

One woman didn't get her desk decorated for her birthday and nobody did anything for her.

She whined about it in a staff meeting.

After that, they created a birthday club, and it became prohibited to decorate a desk for your someone's birthday, unless they were a part of the club.

Once a month, there's a birthday lunch for all members of the club for that month.

now it's just an unspoken thing where if you want to do something for a particular person just because you're friends with them, that's fine. but there's no like official birthday committee.

i do feel bad though when i come in the day after my bday and it's decorated to hell and back, and then you have to hear people that don't get the same treatment like "oh we know who mr popular is"

But I will never for the life of me understand people who bring shit to potlucks and insist on watching people try their food.

You're serving it to an office full of people with different tastes who (probably) don't HAVE to act like they like it. You're only setting yourself up for disappointment, she brought that on herself.

I hate when people try to convince folks that can't cook TO cook... nah, they know they can't follow directions and have no attention to detail... it doesn't matter how simple the recipe or directions are, they're gonna mess them up!

if not then its some type of nuts....

I was actually told as I put the first bite of banana pudding in my mouth that it had a "surprise" in it. Turns out to be walnuts!!!!

That was my last potluck participation. now the rule is you can bring a dish but you have to buy it and it needs to be un opened.

>I was actually told as I put the first bite of banana pudding
>in my mouth that it had a "surprise" in it. Turns out to be
>walnuts!!!!

In addition to sounding disgusting, you could send someone to the hospital if they've got an allergy.

Nobody wants to eat surprise food.

I probably would have let out a "you got me f#cked up".

If that's what they are, then needless to say I don't mess with these. Being 'vegan' really helps. The few times I got pulled-in was because folks specifically made vegan dishes, so they would make sure I came.

My coworkers know I don't mess with junk food tho. They straight skip me when going around with donuts.



You weren't eating like this, were you? https://i.imgur.com/NB8PM.jpg


I take the nasty stuff back to my desk to dispose of discreetly.

You bring your dish in, it goes on the table, everybody gets something buffet style.

Someone at the table will inevitably ask what you made, but yeah, I have never had someone be pushy about it.