It was Memorial Day and they scheduled me to work.

I was at a cookout, smoking an L trying to get back with my ex and she was at this cookout. There was no way I was leaving that cookout to wash dishes.

When I got home there was like 10 messages from the manager. Dude was calm on the first message, agitated in the second.. mad on the 3rd but by the 5th? Maaaan. Dude was cussing me the fuck out. I was rolling. 5th message was “if you don’t show up, I’m gonna have to wash dishes when I should be getting off to go spend time with my family”

Last one was like “... so I gues you want showing up, don’t come back”

I could smell the stank water through the phone.

Anyway... my ex played me but I was also messing with another girl and when I told her I quit I expected her to be all “damn, nigga ain’t got no job” instead she was like “good, you are too talented and smart to wash dishes”

Made me feel like a king for a minute. She was cool as hell.