In my first place, I got fined so often, it might as well have been a 3rd mortgage. Rarely cut my lawn, had 2 roommates and we had 5 cars between us (TH community so parking was limited), even did an engine swap in my driveway.

Now I've calmed down and appreciate the order they can bring. It's really the personalities of the board that make or break an HOA though.

The president at my last HOA was very approachable and was willing to explain every decision the HOA made. He also set the tone on the listserv by not allowing it to devolve into a lot of petty sniping or racial profiling (it also helped that 70% of the neighborhood was black).

That community was on the edge of the hood and went through the worst of the housing crisis but now is really starting to rebound because the HOA was strict but also respectful of the people that lived there.