because you feel like you should be doing stuff and you're lame for not doing it.. but in reality you're just denying what you really want (or think you really want) which is time to chill.. cause let's get serious the grind is freaking exhausting and you just don't get anywhere near what you used to out of playing hard on your time off... why do we kid ourselves... it's the balance though that's hard to find because like you say you have to step out once in a while or else it is a kind of grim reality of uneventfulness which makes you wonder wtf you're really doing and why you aren't who you imagined you would be.

I've got the best company in the world though mind you. I love that woman something indescribably huge.