I was first exposed to pornography at around 6 years old. Not the cable TV late night softcore topless nudity variety; this was the hardcore adult XXX version. I had a live-in babysitter who was around 20 years old, since my mother was recently divorced active duty military and hardly ever home. This babysitter had a boyfriend from the neighborhood, and so they would take advantage of the lack of adult supervision to have sex and watch porn.

One day, I walked in on them as they were watching it on my mother’s Betamax. Now, the normal response when a child walks into such activity is to immediately shut off the TV and remove the child from the area. This did not happen. Instead, they kept on watching as if I wasn’t even there, not a word was said. I of course had no idea what was playing on the TV. To this day I remember just standing there, trying to figure out what was going on: Why is the woman making weird noises? Is she in pain? Is the man hurting her? What is happening? After a couple of minutes staring in puzzlement and confusion, I walked away, and that was that. My babysitter never mentioned it, and I said nothing to anyone.

Sometime after that, I awoke to the sounds of my babysitter and boyfriend having sex. It seems she had placed me on the floor as I slept so they could use my bed. I heard the same kind of noise, so this was now “normal.” I simply turned over and fell back asleep. The final incident with her was when in another night, she called me to my mothers’ room as she laid on the bed and told me to remove my shorts and underwear. She then asked me if I wanted to have sex with her. Not understanding what that meant, I just stood there silently. She repeated her question and this time I shrugged, not knowing what she was talking about. It seems she had a change of heart or something, because she told me to forget it and get dressed.

I believe neighbors told my mother what was going on with the boyfriend, because soon she was gone and I was sent to live with my aunt. My stunted sexual development was put on hold. I only remember one particular episode in the 4th grade: I attended a private Christian school and there was a security guard “Martinez” who would joke with us and watch us kids play in recess. One day, he brought and showed us some kind of Playboy magazine. The older kids were of course all over it, but I saw the centerfold and was like “whatever.” I suppose seeing my babysitter was enough for me.

In 6th grade I kissed a girl for the first time, and had already played doctor and husband and wife with other girls in my neighborhood. I still didn’t exactly know what sex was, but I was getting an idea. I got my puberty at the age of 12 and one day I found myself fully nude with a girl from my neighborhood one day after school. We did not have sex, neither of us knew what we were supposed to do after taking our clothes off. Of course boys talk, and after telling my friends what happened I was laughed at and roasted mercilessly. I finally put two and two together and figured it out.

Porn wasn’t too far off. Remember, this was the late 80’s, the pre-internet era. To see a video or even a magazine was a big, big deal. I recall the classic finding my stepfather’s stash of Penthouse magazines. I couldn’t believe it: so that’s what they look like! That’s what you’re supposed to do! In school I barely remember any kind of sex education or even biology talk.

My friends also introduced me to masturbation. One day, around six of us gathered in a circle and competed to see who could ejaculate first. Someone did, I didn’t even finish. At around 13 years old, I finally made it happen on my own, alone in my bedroom. I had lost my innocence.

I lost my virginity in the 9th grade at 14 years old. She was 14 as well, and already experienced. Of course I lied and said I had also had sex, so one day after school we went to some woods behind her apartment complex in Colorado and did it. I told all my friends and was welcomed to the ranks of men. I was a man now.

I also found a porn video tape my mom had hidden, so my friends would come over after school to watch. The initial excitement gave way to discomfort. It’s hard (yes, it really is) to watch porn with other men around. After a while the action on the screen was too much to bear. One of my friends said “turn it off” and that was that, no more group watching sessions.

My stepfather also openly provided video tapes. One night he simply handed one to me and left me in the living room to watch it. I was now 15 and experienced, so that session didn’t last long. I also had my stash of Playboys, so I was set.

By the time I had a job and a car at 18, I could drive to a couple of video stores near my house in Miami and rent XXX movies. Just like Blockbuster, but for adults. Rentals were about 4-5 dollars, and I spent a small fortune over the years. At the same time, the internet was now in our homes thanks to America Online, so I would explore the new virtual world via chat rooms. The dial-up era was not conducive to porn, pictures took minutes and minutes to load, and movies? Forget it. But, it did provide access to girls who were also curious, and I was soon meeting them in real life.

But this was a long drawn out process. Weeks, sometimes months of chatting were necessary to build a connection and make her comfortable enough to meet. Nobody wanted to admit they were meeting online, it was thought to be the realm of freaks and weirdos. So in case anyone asked, we met at a store, the mall, the street, whatever. Anywhere but the AOL chat room. It was also very difficult to get a girl just to talk to you. Then as today, there were multiple guys for every girl. Competition was fierce. But I was young and full of energy, so I put in the time and work. Plus I wasn’t on it all the time, I was also out and about and having a blast.

The internet connections got faster. I no longer had to spend money and drive back and forth to the video store full of weirdos and dudes following you (those were real actual perverts in those stores. I just went in, got my video, and left as fast as possible). Now, I could download to my computer and enjoy at my leisure. If I went out to a club and didn’t get any girl that night, I just came home and put on a porn on the computer: quick, fast, and easy.

Eventually the lines blurred. Turning on the computer and chatting with some girl became a way to relax after a long day at work. The MySpace era was the ultimate: you could see who you were talking to, where they lived, and what they wanted. I met plenty of girls through it, it was almost too easy.

I didn’t feel I was doing anything wrong or deviant. My rationale was this is all online or through video. I’m never going to meet these people. Porn was a fantasy world: when am I gonna have sex with a porn actress?

As I went through my 20’s, I lived by myself or with roommates. I moved out at 21 and was meeting girls online, in the streets, clubs, south beach, through school, work, friends, etc. I had any number of girlfriends, one night stands, serious relationships, a couple of months with one, couple of months with another, etc. Women came and went. A lot of parties, a lot of raves, a lot of alcohol, a lot of weed, and a lot of sex. I functioned in the real world and had jobs, paid my rent, my bills, went out, traveled, made friends, fell in love, etc. Never got evicted, never got arrested. But through it all I had my hidden computer virtual sex world.

It became a condition, an addiction. I’ve carried it with me my whole life it seems. Remember I was 6 when I first saw porn. Nowadays it’s all one button away, anytime, anywhere. Some people are functioning junkies or alcoholics. Gambling, betting on horses, hoarding, eating disorders, stealing, robbing, prostitution, etc, etc. There are a lot of addictions and vices out there. But none of them interested me. I drank, I smoked weed, and that’s about it. I never did any other drugs because I simply wasn’t interested. I didn’t become an alcoholic. I’ve never gambled, never played the horses, no anorexia, bulimia, cutting, nothing. None of those vices call my attention at all. So I didn’t consider myself a junkie, an addict. Like I said, I paid my bills, went to work, went to class, didn’t steal, didn’t pay for hookers, didn’t mess with married women (I had chances). That was my logic: I wasn’t breaking my personal moral code, my core values.

For example, I’ve known guys who will sleep with married women all day, but when the topic of porn or strip clubs is brought up, will turn their nose and say “not for me,” which is the response I give when the topic of sleeping with a married woman comes up. It’s all relative. No one is better than the other. But just like the strung out homeless dudes on the sidewalk, I was getting high too. High off the videos, off the chats, off the photos. They get high on crack, I get high on porn. But many have overcome their drug and alcohol addictions. I will too. Go ahead and judge me, but while you’re doing that, let me be. That’s all I ask. Like the dearly departed Bandanna P said “You can never feel my pain.”

I don't know if it was TK Kirkland, but the phrase "a new girl turns 18 everyday" is a principle that applies and has affected my relationships

Meaning after a while the initial excitement wears off

In the movies there's always some new talent on the scene, a quick fast rotation
Most of em make 5-10 videos and poof, never to be seen again
The ones that stick around and become stars, I'm like yeah whatever I seen her already

So I get with a woman, it's all good for a few months
then after a while I turn into Tony Montana at the fancy restaurant:
"Is that it? Is this what it's all about meng?"

porn.

To that specific issue I query the same thing I query every dude who runs through a lot of chicks which is are you sure you are dating the right type of chicks?

The guys I know who run through a lot of chicks are usually running through low hanging fruit. The guys I know who seem to be happy in relationships are the guys who punch above their weight and focus on girls slightly out of their league.

I know nothing about you just speculating.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

That's where I was at all the time, so lots of party girls
I was the type to want to wife one up cuz she liked Massive Attack
I worked in a record store in south beach...need I say more?
When I saw High Fidelity, my head exploded: "that's me!"

It was all in the moment. Living for the party and the scene.
I had no interest in the college girls, the ones that are execs and MBAs now
The couple of exes from the party scene I still keep in touch with are still in it, working rinky dink jobs and shit
I'd be in the same zone if I hadn't enlisted, but the point is
that it was all fleeting and a blur now looking back

Most beautiful girl I'd ever been in bed with, wonderful conversationalist and challenged me experientially, spiritually, musically, passionately...but after 6 months, I started just getting nostalgic for porn and porn actresses, and our schedules started diverging in such a way that I was ready for action when she wasn't around, and over a period of time it became fact that I was satisfying myself with this fantasy that was very much tied to giving her that experience I was watching on screen, meanwhile she's wondering why I'm not even giving her a kiss spontaneously and I'm totally unaware. Then you struggle to explain that it's not them, it's you and her/him, and it doesn't translate, and shit gets hard.


~~~~~~~~~
"This is the streets, and I am the trap." � Jay Bilas
http://www.popmatters.com/pm/archive/contributor/517
Hip Hop Handbook: http://tinyurl.com/ll4kzz

...as you likely see women as mainly objects of sexual pleasure

not judging; just stating

everything you've so bravely described is very common and indicative of many males today

the inability to intimately connect with a woman from a place of vulnerability...the boredom and lack of long term relationships...

there is a crisis and you've perfectly articulated it...and with some males, everything you've described often leads to anger and resentment at not being able to have women the way they want them...which sometimes manifests into violence...which is basically toxic masculinity.

with all that said, what do you want? it sounds like you're not hurting anyone...do you want your life to stay the same or do you want something different?

d

I used to really enjoy what I considered quality porn but always hated most of it and now almost all of it bores me. I still feel the same way you do. I have had meaningful and long relationships but seldom been able to not cheat or if I did cheat it was because the sex was constant (and I mean CONSTANT, like two to six times a day) and mind-blowing.

you are an addict?

Like the first response asked, how has it negatively affected you?



**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

"I'm not an addict. I can stop anytime"

I have had bouts of sobriety. The longest I went was 2 months in boot camp
which to be fair doesn't really count
I mean, there was 0% chance of watching
in boot camp you're fully occupied doing something from wake up to lights out
there's no idle time whatsoever, no privacy, no computer, no nothing

Now on my own at home with full access and privacy
I've gone about 4-5 days at the most

Not trying to defend your porn use because I do believe it can be detrimental to folks development but I also think there could be some other underlying issue in which the porn is a sympton, not the problem.



**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

that might be a problem.

maybe more of us need to admit we really like pron and might be addicted instead of making excuses.

*I have no idea if you watch or not*

I would just trust dude's words when he says he is addicted.

would make me addicted to pizza.

I think the test would be if the "addiction" negatively affects other aspects of your life (relationships, sex, etc.).

Not to belittle what he calls an addiction. I recently started seeing a therapist for something I thought was an addiction and they convinced me it was a sympton of something else, not the problem. hence my comments here.

Again, I think porn is wrecking a lot of dudes, but there can be other issues at work.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

and if your health or weight was impacted then yeah.. you might be addicted if you can't stop when you need to.

other aspects of your life (relationships, sex, etc.)" when you stated this

>and if your health or weight was impacted then yeah.. you
>might be addicted if you can't stop when you need to.

If I feel like I can't give up pizza, and it doesn't impact my health or weight or otherwise negatively impact me, then what's the concern my "addiction"?




**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

You seem either incapable or unwilling to view HIS issues from HIS perspective based on HIS history and HIS knowledge of HIMSELF.

What you wouldndo, you would interpret things, how you would evaluate your own standards for addiction are entirely irrelevant because you aren't j. And j. Isn't you.

How you would evaluate pizza consumption is an absurd analogy.

He knows himself well enough to know hownheavy this issue is or isn't, and it's wierd that you're so insistent on superimposing yourself into his issue.

What you wpuld do, how yuou would feel, how you wpuld interpret, all these things are entirely immaterial to the way other people view their personal issues.

It's mind blowing that you don't get this.

It's mindblowing that you are interpreted what I am saying is an insistence that he is wrong.

I get his perspective. It's not that complicated. He believes that he has an addiction to porn. That's not that hard to understand. I get it.

All that I am offering is the counter-prevailing view, the mere possibility that maybe it's not exactly what he thinks it is.

I say this with no certainty. Just throwing out the possibility.

And I am throwing out that possibility based on my experience AND how little we all know about J and his experience with Porn.

I think it would be absurb for me to argue that what he is experiencing is DEFINITELY NOT addiction. But I also think that it is just as absurb for you to argue that you definitely know enough about J to know that he absolutely correct in his self-diagnosis.

People spend years in therapy working through these sort of issues and I personally, would much rather spend his time with trained professionals who study and treat these sort of issues and how to overcome them then walk away from the echo chamber of a bunch of strangers on the internet certain that he has a condition based on so little information.

People misdiagnose themselves all the time. If the original post had said he has been working with a therapist, or we had some concrete details like he can't hold a relationship down because of porn or that he beats it 10 times a day. I might not have raised my point. But as insightful and well written the OP was, it still left me wondering some basic questions.

Maybe he has an addiction to porn. I don't know. But not sure how you can sit here and say he definitely has an addiction to porn because he has perfect self-awareness about himself and every issue he is dealing with (I mean who can say that about themselves?) based solely on what you read.

This is an internet chat forum with a bunch of people that don't know him. As you can see here, there will be a gazillion people here who would confirm what he believes to be true about himself. So much so that it would be useful to have a different point of view weigh in to give a different perspective based on experience in the off chance that self- and internet diagnoses are wrong.




>You seem either incapable or unwilling to view HIS issues
>from HIS perspective based on HIS history and HIS knowledge of
>HIMSELF.

I am literally going through this shit right now and your argument is that there is NO value with me sharing my experience?

Do you think J is not a grown-up enough to hear my experience and discount it the way you did as an experience not his own?


>
>What you wouldndo, you would interpret things, how you would
>evaluate your own standards for addiction are entirely
>irrelevant because you aren't j. And j. Isn't you.
>
>How you would evaluate pizza consumption is an absurd
>analogy.


I am not working with my own standard of addiction. There are objective standards for defining addiction. That's why the most natural follow-up questions would be, why do you think you are an addict, describe your addiction, how has this addiction negatively affected you, etc.

But to you all asking those questions is challenging him in some negative manner? GTFOHWTBS


>
>He knows himself well enough to know hownheavy this issue is
>or isn't, and it's wierd that you're so insistent on
>superimposing yourself into his issue.


How do you know he knows himself well enough to know? You know more about J then what he wrote here?

You have enough information to clinically diagnose this person as an addict based just on what you read? Really?



>What you wpuld do, how yuou would feel, how you wpuld
>interpret, all these things are entirely immaterial to the way
>other people view their personal issues.
>It's mind blowing that you don't get this.


I am offering a different perspective based on my expiernces (and not with pizza), you think it's harmful for him to hear this? You think he isn't smart enough to know my experiences won't perfectly track with his experience and explain his problems?

I thought we were grown ups here.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

It's probably not a problem causing addiction (although it could be depending on the frequency).

But if you consciously try to stop yourself from doing something and can't, that is an addiction.

>It's probably not a problem causing addiction (although it
>could be depending on the frequency).
>
>But if you consciously try to stop yourself from doing
>something and can't, that is an addiction.


DSM definitions of addiction always have the element of harmful consequences. Such as the APA's definition of substance addiction which describes addiction as "a brain disease that is manifested by compulsive substance use despite harmful consequence".

By your definition, we are all probably addicted to OKP, 90s Hip-Hop and Dave Chapelle specials.



**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

If the man knows that he's addicted to PORN then he knows what he's trying to break free from. Why are you trying to convince him otherwise?


.
.

"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins

to consider that might explain his behavior.

I am doing this because I had an experience where I thought I was dealing with an addiction and a trained therapist made me consider that the problem wasn't an addiction but some other underlying problem.

That's all.

Chill out.



>If the man knows that he's addicted to PORN then he knows
>what he's trying to break free from. Why are you trying to
>convince him otherwise?
>
>
>.
>.
>
>"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a
>supernatural force that is outside of space and time could
>have done that. ~ Francis Collins


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

perspective that is not needed. The dude clearly gave his reason for why he knows he's addicted. Stop trying to be contrary and maybe try just supporting the man.





.
.

"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins

concerned about his well-being and whether he was addicted or not there are a couple of basic questions you would have asked which were not discussed in the OP. Basic questions like:

1. Why do you think you are an addict?

2. How often are you watching porn?

If old boy went to get treatment for porn addiction they would ask those basic questions and oters and wouldn't immediately start off with "good for you for admitting you are an addict!"

Addiction treatment doesn't work that way. I know because I sought out treatment for addiction.

I get it, you believe porn addiction is a great problem and I generally agree with you.

I just wouldn't let that agenda get in the way of responsibly talking to a person about their possible addiction.




>perspective that is not needed. The dude clearly gave his
>reason for why he knows he's addicted. Stop trying to be
>contrary and maybe try just supporting the man.
>
>
>
>
>
>.
>.
>
>"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a
>supernatural force that is outside of space and time could
>have done that. ~ Francis Collins


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

>concerned about his well-being and whether he was addicted or
>not there are a couple of basic questions you would have asked
>which were not discussed in the OP. Basic questions like:
>
>1. Why do you think you are an addict?
>
>2. How often are you watching porn?
>
>If old boy went to get treatment for porn addiction they would
>ask those basic questions and oters and wouldn't immediately
>start off with "good for you for admitting you are an
>addict!"
>
>Addiction treatment doesn't work that way. I know because I
>sought out treatment for addiction.
>
>I get it, you believe porn addiction is a great problem and I
>generally agree with you.
>
>I just wouldn't let that agenda get in the way of responsibly
>talking to a person about their possible addiction.
>
>

People don't always need to go to see professional to validate their own knowing that they're addicted. And I am concerned. That's why I asked the man to inbox me so that we can talk privately if needed and wanted.




>
>
>>perspective that is not needed. The dude clearly gave his
>>reason for why he knows he's addicted. Stop trying to be
>>contrary and maybe try just supporting the man.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>.
>>.
>>
>>"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a
>>supernatural force that is outside of space and time could
>>have done that. ~ Francis Collins
>
>
>**********
>"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then
>they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson
>
>"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"


.
.

"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins

professional who deals with addiction. Okay.

I think I can stop here with making my point.


>>concerned about his well-being and whether he was addicted
>or
>>not there are a couple of basic questions you would have
>asked
>>which were not discussed in the OP. Basic questions like:
>>
>>1. Why do you think you are an addict?
>>
>>2. How often are you watching porn?
>>
>>If old boy went to get treatment for porn addiction they
>would
>>ask those basic questions and oters and wouldn't immediately
>>start off with "good for you for admitting you are an
>>addict!"
>>
>>Addiction treatment doesn't work that way. I know because I
>>sought out treatment for addiction.
>>
>>I get it, you believe porn addiction is a great problem and
>I
>>generally agree with you.
>>
>>I just wouldn't let that agenda get in the way of
>responsibly
>>talking to a person about their possible addiction.
>>
>>
>
>People don't always need to go to see professional to validate
>their own knowing that they're addicted. And I am concerned.
>That's why I asked the man to inbox me so that we can talk
>privately if needed and wanted.
>
>
>
>
>>
>>
>>>perspective that is not needed. The dude clearly gave his
>>>reason for why he knows he's addicted. Stop trying to be
>>>contrary and maybe try just supporting the man.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>.
>>>.
>>>
>>>"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a
>>>supernatural force that is outside of space and time could
>>>have done that. ~ Francis Collins
>>
>>
>>**********
>>"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then
>>they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson
>>
>>"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"
>
>
>.
>.
>
>"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a
>supernatural force that is outside of space and time could
>have done that. ~ Francis Collins


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

I never said that. But go on and live
.
.

"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins

Personally I think he presented more than enough information to deduce that he's done his homework in determining the nature and impact of this on his life, up to and including whether or not he's an addict.

It's cool to add perspective from your own experiences, but this looks like a case where he's clearly someone who has a strong grasp of his issue, far above and beyond any insight anyone else can give him.

I'd say it's a safe assumption that his self assessment is accurate.

like, how often you fapping? Why do you believe you are an addict? How has porn negatively impacted your life?

My first thought after reading this piece was that he should publish this but before he does so he should answer a few basic questions about the nature of his addiction.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

many dudes identify with it.

The fact that dude has already published it hear suggest it might be something that he is interested in.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

anyway we all have our addictions. it sounds like this hasnt really affected your life in a negative way. though to be fair, i dont consider being unable to establish a LTR a negative. everybody aint cut out for that and you havent met the right one that brought it out of you yet.

think it's possible to just watch less or do you need to quit full stop? once every week or so doesn't seem bad to me.

my stepdad had a good amount that I used to sneak and watch

Think I was in 5th grade watching hard core porn

I remember my heart beating hella fast and not understanding what was going on, and being up on shit nobody else was up on yet.

early teen years from I guess 11-14 I used to steal good amounts of the small Penthouse mags, the mini-mags that you could fit in baggy jean pockets. Also used to steal from Blockbuster by going in the aisle on the other side of the porn aisle and reaching over and grabbing whatever, then peeling off the sensor.

It definitely clouded my first relationship as a teenager (age 13 to 16) because what was my first relationship and experience with love was tainted by treating sex like porn sex 100% of the time (We even watched it a couple times while having sex I think she was a little bit wtf? about it)

For a year in college it fucked up my dating with women a little. But being friends with a good amount of women (friends with no benefits) helped me normalize my perspective.

After moving in with my fiance a few years back I cut if off entirely (as I did with smoking loosies now and then) and it feels pretty good.

so my early intro was seeing hand drawn book covers of wild ish but no photos.. just words, words words..

but man, once I started reading I was fascinated by these stories...

internet changed the game. I remember the first time I found a site on dial up. Talk about wasting time waiting for shit to load then being disappointed because it didn't have what I was looking for..


I recently told my wife I wanted to do a lil photo shoot cause I would rather lust after her then random women online.


I've been in a ltr for a loooong time too. I think there has to be a balance and you have to be careful. There were definitely some times when I was in the mood and just assumed she wouldn't be so I went for mine. So I can see if that kept on going over the years it could harm the relationship.

I do find that when I go for long stretches without watching, my and the wifes relationship is better.


I've got a few pictures of her, and they do come in handy...to your point of lusting after your wife.




Bottoms up....and the devil laughs..




http://soundcloud.com/rayandersonjr

I never missed anything serious but back when the internet first started? Man, there were definitely a few days where I planned to be out the house at 9AM and didn't leave til 11AM..

and I bet an hour and fifteen minutes of those 2 hours was waiting for shit to load.

when u get to the point where u feel like its easier to hit the website than go thru whatever u gotta go thru with your SO to get fulfilled then yeah theres trouble on the rise

>
>I've been in a ltr for a loooong time too. I think there has
>to be a balance and you have to be careful. There were
>definitely some times when I was in the mood and just assumed
>she wouldn't be so I went for mine. So I can see if that kept
>on going over the years it could harm the relationship.
>
>
>

>I recently told my wife I wanted to do a lil photo shoot cause
>I would rather lust after her then random women online.


_______________________________
gamblers and masturbators.

Own No Loops: A podcast about rap.
http://ownnoloops.com

http://twitter.com/urkelmoedee

how long have you been working the pieces together? like, is this a recent reflection...

have you ever shared it with a lover?

but aside from "damm, that's messed up" what else can be done?

Back in the day I had like 4 DVD's and one of my jump offs that was staying over found them and was all "let's watch!"
We did but I felt weird believe it or not
Because I felt this was my thing. I didn't want to share it, even if she was down

Another ex found them and had the exact opposite reaction
she tripped hard, really upset, crying even
Which is what I expected and knew how to handle
"I'm sorry, you're right, I'll get rid of them, please forgive me, etc"
It was nothing to get rid of them, since everything's online anyway

I was comfortable with it being secret
no girl knew about my trips to the store, the downloads, nothing
and my having experienced both types of reactions reinforced my need to keep it secret

they either with it or against it.

crying and anger tho? iono about that.

>they either with it or against it.
>
>crying and anger tho? iono about that.


...usually comes from Jawns with serious sexual hang-ups/insecurities.

sinny sin sin?

You know how that goes
That's the thing, everyone deals with their internal issues how they see fit

because she knows im into it and ive never taken her up on it as of yet (i may end up doing it). ive had people in the past ask about it too but ive never been enthusiastic about watching with anyone else because thats kinda "my thing for me". that might not be a good thing but i look at it as kinda personal and as a solo mission

when I look back my ex used to share a lot of his “addiction” with me...be it women or drugs. I remember not really taking it serious because I was thinking I could somehow save him from the pain. When I didn’t really understand how messed up he was...

quiet as it’s kept it’s part of the reason I wouldn’t let go...

First, I'm rooting for you to overcome this addiction for good.

Man, I'm sure that you've admitted this addiction to yourself many times before, but this time is different. You really want to break the unhealthy cycle of exhilaration, shame, regret, etc. that comes along with this type of addiction. And even though I don't know you, I believe in you and encourage you to be diligent, focused, and even selfish about protecting yourself from the cravings. Porn addiction is as strong as being addicted to cocaine - a scientific fact. But, with the right support, you will overcome, breakaway, and stay free from the life that you're presently living in. The fact that you posted proves that you are well on your way to winning this battle.

As I said, I may not know you, but I'm willing to walk with you and talk with you. You can inbox me if you'd like my support. I'm willing to be a source of help.



.
.

"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins

at times I've felt like Bubbles or Pookie
My main problem is it became a source of comfort and ruined relationships
oddly being a functioning addict for decades I was "fine" as in it was "normal"
now I'm on pins and needles
Last night I was watching The Looming Tower and a sex scene came on
your average standard hollywood sex scene, PG stuff
I had to turn away

maintain your path to recovery. And I'm serious when I say I'll walk with you as needed. You can inbox me if you need to talk. Also, I suggest that if your job has a medical plan then you may want to check out the options for counseling. Bro, it's about your mental health and future. Ge the support you need because you deserve to live free and bold and happy.




.
.

"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins

I'll just be minding my own business and all of a sudden you see some silly small thing that sets you off and once you get it in your head that that's what you're gonna do it's extremely hard to stop. Then the moment of clarity as soon as you nut hits you like a brick.

I've had the same LTR issues too. It's tough.

peace to you and stay steadfast on your mission to be free...and you WILL overcome

.
.

"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins

seek counseling

just go cold turkey (i think they say you need to do something for 30 days to break a habit) and channel that energy into your significant other and your family.

there is nothing wrong with porn or sex, but if its keeping you from having meaningful relationships its a problem.

just remember love>>>>>>>sex, but it requires you to sometimes sacrifice the immediate gratification for the greater long term goal.

you don't want to end up old and alone.

and there's data to prove it.
.
.

"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins

But I don’t believe in having guillt or shame over it

I see it more as a distraction and something to be careful with

Like alcohol some can have a drink and keep it moving and some can’t
But I could be wrong

at least where I've been for the past 3 or 4 years. I can't get past the acting or the fact that its not real life but a form of doing it thats camera appropriate. All the angles are unnatural and they rarely rarely rarely ever show people who look real. And then there is the weird racial element - How can we even begin to prop up that "post racial" bullshit if/when there is such a crazy race obsession in P?

Its a simple means to an end. Got a heavy nut? Handle it and move on.


But, I get it. I havent had a cigarette for nearly 7 years but I still use nicotine related products (lozenges, gums, sprays) and I have friends who just said "You know what? I'm bored with this, I think I'll quit" and they did and never even turned back once.

So, I'm not judging, I'm just thinking about your problems through my reality.

you doing it all wrong if you are watching it for anything but the "HN" as you described.

prolly got the soundbar IMAX FX and shit before the video starts

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U28YgbZyGWg

every. single. element.

You think I'm talking about the plot or words as if I'm sitting there with a note pad and have a tab for IMDB open while a film theory book is balanced on my knee.

No.


I'm talking about the nuts and bolts of it, ie, the deed.

Are the people legit enjoying the experience or are they simply just punching in for another shift? You know exactly what the fuck I'm talking about. You have to. Do you have eyes that work?

It was always acting and a job bruh.

who are actually enjoying what theyre doing and just want the world to see.

lately I've been searching for "Porn for Women" on pornhub.

It's a welcome change after your 50th bukkake video.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

misogynistic and degrading.

You just haven't been able to keep up with the conversation and follow my point which really makes it a waste of, at least, my time.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

It's damn near impossible to find porn online
>which isn't about demeaning the woman in the sex act.

so you're either a hypocrite or you're just bored and into typing words

your whole stance is anti-porn except you still view it, the cycle's sick

ALL porn is demeaning.


Again, you just don't seem capable of keeping up.

Stop dude. You aren't good at this.


>It's damn near impossible to find porn online
>>which isn't about demeaning the woman in the sex act.
>
>so you're either a hypocrite or you're just bored and into
>typing words
>
>your whole stance is anti-porn except you still view it, the
>cycle's sick


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

A lot of that stuff is made by female producers.

>lately I've been searching for "Porn for Women" on pornhub.
>
>
>It's a welcome change after your 50th bukkake video.
>
>
>**********
>"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then
>they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson
>
>"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

I wish you the best in your journey. I wasn't addicted by my desire was changed due to spirit. Since you want that change I hope it happens for you.

Even though OKP tends to be accepting when folks open up about personal failings, it's never easy to open up and bare your soul like you did. I hope doing so was cathartic.

As someone who also has struggled with porn use and has been in therapy for related sexual issues, it's possible that your porn use is a indirect way of you to 'heal' your mind from the trauma of watching the porn at such an early age and also the odd sexual behavior of your babysitter.

Therapy isn't for everyone, but talking this issue out with a professional may help you deal with the shame that you feel about your addiction to porn. It would likely help with the underlying issue that this addiction protects you from experiencing in your conscious mind.

I could damm near tell you what I was wearing and shit
I mean, of course we remember moments from our childhood
but I still remember the confusion in my mind, wondering "what's going on?"
I've heard other stories from friends about walking in on their parents having sex or whatever
and they just brush it off, they didn't become traumatized by it
I'm supposing their parents handled it correctly
maybe talked about it for example
that didn't happen with me

Sometimes externalizing intense experiences helps to reframe what happened and give you a chance to let the emotions of the experience pass through and out of your mind.

Usually in moments like what you described, your mind and body go through the fight or flight mode and the fear and shock of what happens filters through your mind. Sometimes your mind will freeze, kind of like a deer in highlights. That image in your mind of that moment is what froze there.

Writing or talking about it like you did here with others, even in an online forum with people who are specifically dealing with sexual issues, can help as well.

Good luck with everything.

So I said, d@mn, midas well do too

1) women can just do webcam stuff or sell pussy on IG instead of doing porn. Makes sense since its the same amount of money if not more with much less public shame
2) too many tats, fake everything
3) the weird incest obsession that swept thru mainstream P in the last three years

I found myself not really checking for American porn anymore, mostly euro/Spanish stuff and Japanese porn. The hipster in me couldn't continue to overindulge in something that is obviously past its prime

but in the 2000s....Jesus

So many bad black and brown porn stars.

If I could be credited all that time back.....bruh.
---------------------------------------


---------------------------------------

porn is the easiest drug to get access to if you pay a monthly internet bill

Im glad you were brave enough to talk about it and that you're willing to take the next step to recovery

we family, right?

I believe we pass judgment because of our failure to understand. I’ve watched a few flicks in my alone time :-). More so because I’ve always been curious as how others have sex. This thought was intensified when my lover cheated....

I’m told this is normal....

but yeah. what do men get out of watching porn? I’ve heard that some men watch it to jack off before sex so they can last longer. Some men may be like me...curious. What are other reasons..

this post is evident that it’s not just to objectify women...

>but yeah. what do men get out of watching porn? I’ve heard
>that some men watch it to jack off before sex so they can last
>longer. Some men may be like me...curious. What are other
>reasons..

Its not a question of what *men get out of watching porn, its a question of what do *people get out of watching porn.
Sex is natural. Humans like sex. Some humans like to watch sex as, naturally, it arouses/stimulates. The end.

>this post is evident that it’s not just to objectify
>women...


...Erotica(porn) never has been intent upon objectifying women. That was then, and still is now, the dumbest shit that has been said about porn.

Its sex, plain and simple. It takes 2 to have sex so how could porn be objectifying towards women yet not objectifying towards men? You see the inherent sillyness in that right? That whole "objectifies women" bullshit came from sheltered prude women that were insecure in their sexuality, thus uncomfortable with objectively appreciating erotica for what it is: Sex. on. film.

To be fair, thats not women's collective fault tho. That is America's puritan-based design, a design that has ALWAYS been antagonistic towards venery.

>>this post is evident that it’s not just to objectify
>>women...
>
>
>...Erotica(porn) never has been intent upon objectifying
>women. That was then, and still is now, the dumbest shit that
>has been said about porn.
>
>Its sex, plain and simple. It takes 2 to have sex so how
>could porn be objectifying towards women yet not objectifying
>towards men?

Hell no son. It's damn near impossible to find porn online which isn't about demeaning the woman in the sex act. Whether it's calling her names like bitch & ho, or demeaning sex acts like busting in a chicks face or physically forcing them into certain sex acts, or just generally treating women like objects whose entire purpose is to provide sex.

There might be a place for that in sex (if the woman is down for of it of course), but you know most porn online involves a type of sex that most people would never try on "real" life sex partners.


This what I think is one of the worst results of all this porn, it desensitizes people to how demeaning porn sex towards women and gives people f'd up views on how real world sex should go down.








You see the inherent sillyness in that right?
>That whole "objectifies women" bullshit came from sheltered
>prude women that were insecure in their sexuality, thus
>uncomfortable with objectively appreciating erotica for what
>it is: Sex. on. film.
>
>To be fair, thats not women's collective fault tho. That is
>America's puritan-based design, a design that has ALWAYS been
>antagonistic towards venery.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

So of course YOU gon' disagree, my ninja.

Ima just leave at dat.


But don't trip, I gotchu a present Sun:


https://imgur.com/ThNrnLg

I'm on some dumb shit.

Ok.



>So of course YOU gon' disagree, my ninja.
>
>Ima just leave at dat.
>
>
>But don't trip, I gotchu a present Sun:
>
>
>https://imgur.com/ThNrnLg
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

>Hell no son. It's damn near impossible to find porn online
>which isn't about demeaning the woman in the sex act. Whether
>it's calling her names like bitch & ho, or demeaning sex acts
>like busting in a chicks face or physically forcing them into
>certain sex acts, or just generally treating women like
>objects whose entire purpose is to provide sex.


aside from extreme racist sites and underground shit that's hard to come across, women either enjoy sex and get paid or fake it well enough for the check. I dont think a whole lot of what you described is demeaning. you can say it caters to male fantasies of domination, but some women are definitely into a man taking control/being aggressive.


>There might be a place for that in sex (if the woman is down
>for of it of course), but you know most porn online involves a
>type of sex that most people would never try on "real" life
>sex partners.


one can argue sex is supposed to be animalistic and vulgar to a point, but yeah the average woman I've been with wont go as far as a porn star

That's not a clip I got from some extreme website or underground shit, it's the title of a random clip I got from the first page of pornhub, the biggest online porn site in the world.

Yall cats really up in here trying to argue online porn doesn't have a misogyny or objectification of women problem?

Your attitude is as long as they getting paid it's all good? really?

Let me axe you this, if most porn isn't demeaning, why do you believe that most women won't go as far as porn stars?



Also, what's the basis for you speaking on how safe a space porn sets are?

>
>>Hell no son. It's damn near impossible to find porn online
>>which isn't about demeaning the woman in the sex act.
>Whether
>>it's calling her names like bitch & ho, or demeaning sex
>acts
>>like busting in a chicks face or physically forcing them
>into
>>certain sex acts, or just generally treating women like
>>objects whose entire purpose is to provide sex.
>
>
>aside from extreme racist sites and underground shit that's
>hard to come across, women either enjoy sex and get paid or
>fake it well enough for the check. I dont think a whole lot of
>what you described is demeaning. you can say it caters to male
>fantasies of domination, but some women are definitely into a
>man taking control/being aggressive.
>
>
> >There might be a place for that in sex (if the woman is
>down
>>for of it of course), but you know most porn online involves
>a
>>type of sex that most people would never try on "real" life
>>sex partners.
>
>
>one can argue sex is supposed to be animalistic and vulgar to
>a point, but yeah the average woman I've been with wont go as
>far as a porn star
>
>
>


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

>That's not a clip I got from some extreme website or
>underground shit, it's the title of a random clip I got from
>the first page of pornhub, the biggest online porn site in the
>world.

we both used the word extreme. maybe look up the word (a loose definition is "out of the norm")

>Yall cats really up in here trying to argue online porn
>doesn't have a misogyny or objectification of women problem?

sex isnt inherently misogynistic, neither is filming a woman with her consent
I dont know how much experience you have with women (and really it's none of my business), but some are into kinky shit that you might consider "demeaning"

your argument is leaning towards saying if a man has too much control or isnt tame enough, it's automatically harmful and and a woman cant enjoy it. you'd be wrong.


>Your attitude is as long as they getting paid it's all good?
>really?

no, my attitude is (mainstream) porn mostly consists of professionals who sign contracts and state what they're up for beforehand.

>Let me axe you this, if most porn isn't demeaning, why do you
>believe that most women won't go as far as porn stars?

I've already said porn caters to male fantasies of domination. there's a line between dominating and demeaning

also going the extra mile hasn't mattered to many of my past partners so long as I was satisfied, but the wildest woman (black) I dealt with said she learned from white girls in porn

>Also, what's the basis for you speaking on how safe a space
>porn sets are?

this is a weird question. neither of us have been on a set, what's the difference between professional porn, TV and movies aside from people fucking?

>>That's not a clip I got from some extreme website or
>>underground shit, it's the title of a random clip I got from
>>the first page of pornhub, the biggest online porn site in
>the
>>world.
>
>we both used the word extreme. maybe look up the word (a loose
>definition is "out of the norm")


You made the point you mainly find demeaning stuff on "extreme websites" and "underground shit". I responded by showing you something found on the first page of the most popular porn site in the world. If you agree that clip sounds extreme (as the title suggests), then you were wrong as to where extreme clips can be found. That was my point.




>
>>Yall cats really up in here trying to argue online porn
>>doesn't have a misogyny or objectification of women problem?
>
>sex isnt inherently misogynistic, neither is filming a woman
>with her consent

No one said sex is inherently misogynistic. Where did you get that dumb shit from? I didn't even say porn is inherently misogynistic. What I said is, that todays online porn has a misogyny and objectification problem. It's not an inherent problem, but it's a problem nonetheless.

If you disagree with that point. Then respond to that point. Don't make up stuff.




>I dont know how much experience you have with women (and
>really it's none of my business), but some are into kinky shit
>that you might consider "demeaning"

Iam going to go ahead and stop you right there. I can assure you I've seen a lot, shit I wager would blow your mind, and This isn't about kink.


>your argument is leaning towards saying if a man has too much
>control or isnt tame enough, it's automatically harmful and
>and a woman cant enjoy it. you'd be wrong.

Yeah no where did I say anything like that. That's not my position. so GTFOHWTBS.

My point is simple, go to xvideos or pornhub and look at the first 20 videos that pop up and tell me that they are not misogynistic or objectify women in a negative way.

Explain to Trinity or any other woman that the clip "struggling girlfriend likes rough anal abuse" isn't misogynistic or objectify women in a negative way?

>
>
>>Your attitude is as long as they getting paid it's all good?
>>really?
>
>no, my attitude is (mainstream) porn mostly consists of
>professionals who sign contracts and state what they're up for
>beforehand.

So consensual sex can't be demeaning or misogynistic?



>
>>Let me axe you this, if most porn isn't demeaning, why do
>you
>>believe that most women won't go as far as porn stars?
>
>I've already said porn caters to male fantasies of domination.
>there's a line between dominating and demeaning

I believe that's true. I think in practice in IRL life kink relationships are more about domination than demeaning but in porn most kink lazily substitutes demeaning for domination.

>
>also going the extra mile hasn't mattered to many of my past
>partners so long as I was satisfied, but the wildest woman
>(black) I dealt with said she learned from white girls in porn


"Going the extra mile" is what them white girls in porn are doing you say? OK.

>
>
>>Also, what's the basis for you speaking on how safe a space
>>porn sets are?
>
>this is a weird question. neither of us have been on a set,
>what's the difference between professional porn, TV and movies
>aside from people fucking?

I asked because you went so far as to speak on how safe a space a porn set is. If you never been on a porn set, how can you be an authority enough to speak on it?

two final points:

1. So you think porn sets are no different from movie sets? That's bullshit. There is drinking, smoking and drugs on porn sets that you would not find on professional film and movie sets.

2. But regardless, why do you think that movie and tv sets are "safe spaces"? Have you missed the whole #metoo movement?




**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

>You made the point you mainly find demeaning stuff on "extreme
>websites" and "underground shit". I responded by showing you
>something found on the first page of the most popular porn
>site in the world. If you agree that clip sounds extreme (as
>the title suggests), then you were wrong as to where extreme
>clips can be found. That was my point.

Yes, portals exists with all manners of pornography available at the click of a whim
humans also have will power to not click on anything they arent interested in watching
if you want to argue that there are demeaning sub-genres of porn (AVAILABLE ON PORNHUB), be my guest
on a macro level, the most widely consumed pornography is not that sketchy



>No one said sex is inherently misogynistic. Where did you get
>that dumb shit from? I didn't even say porn is inherently
>misogynistic. What I said is, that todays online porn has a
>misogyny and objectification problem. It's not an inherent
>problem, but it's a problem nonetheless.

inherent
adjective
existing in something as a permanent, essential, or characteristic attribute.

your initial take: It's damn near impossible to find porn online
>which isn't about demeaning the woman in the sex act.



>>your argument is leaning towards saying if a man has too
>much
>>control or isnt tame enough, it's automatically harmful and
>>and a woman cant enjoy it. you'd be wrong.

>Yeah no where did I say anything like that. That's not my
>position. so GTFOHWTBS.

I have no clue what you find demeaning about porn if it isnt the dominant sex

>My point is simple, go to xvideos or pornhub and look at the
>first 20 videos that pop up and tell me that they are not
>misogynistic or objectify women in a negative way.

misogyny is the hatred of women
you cant objectify a woman positively or negatively, objectification is just objectification


>Explain to Trinity or any other woman that the clip
>"struggling girlfriend likes rough anal abuse" isn't
>misogynistic or objectify women in a negative way?

some women have high thresholds for sexual aggression. I dont see how that's hateful or anti-woman. also you're still using the word objectify incorrectly




>>>Your attitude is as long as they getting paid it's all
>good?
>>>really?

>>no, my attitude is (mainstream) porn mostly consists of
>>professionals who sign contracts and state what they're up
>for
>>beforehand.

>So consensual sex can't be demeaning or misogynistic?

if a woman and I understand and respect boundaries, nothing she consents to can be demeaning or misogynistic. there's a wild world out there where women are enjoying all types of sex.


>>also going the extra mile hasn't mattered to many of my past
>>partners so long as I was satisfied, but the wildest woman
>>(black) I dealt with said she learned from white girls in
>porn

>"Going the extra mile" is what them white girls in porn are
>doing you say? OK.

yeah part of porn culture dictates a woman's worth in that business is measured by attractiveness and how far she'll go to stand out from the pack



>>>Also, what's the basis for you speaking on how safe a space
>>>porn sets are?
>>
>>this is a weird question. neither of us have been on a set,
>>what's the difference between professional porn, TV and
>movies
>>aside from people fucking?

>I asked because you went so far as to speak on how safe a
>space a porn set is. If you never been on a porn set, how can
>you be an authority enough to speak on it?

you definitely introduced the safety of porn sets into the discussion, not me. I said people sign legal contracts for what's going to happen and get paid.

>two final points:

>1. So you think porn sets are no different from movie sets?
>That's bullshit. There is drinking, smoking and drugs on porn
>sets that you would not find on professional film and movie
>sets.

I have no clue what happens in either place


>2. But regardless, why do you think that movie and tv sets
>are "safe spaces"? Have you missed the whole #metoo
>movement?

Yeah I missed where Hollywood actresses said sexual assault/coercion took place on set

3 post ago on this not terribly enlightening dumb convo with a wall.

I just hope trinity sees it's dumb to seek your guidance on this topic.



>>You made the point you mainly find demeaning stuff on
>"extreme
>>websites" and "underground shit". I responded by showing
>you
>>something found on the first page of the most popular porn
>>site in the world. If you agree that clip sounds extreme
>(as
>>the title suggests), then you were wrong as to where extreme
>>clips can be found. That was my point.
>
>Yes, portals exists with all manners of pornography available
>at the click of a whim
>humans also have will power to not click on anything they
>arent interested in watching
>if you want to argue that there are demeaning sub-genres of
>porn (AVAILABLE ON PORNHUB), be my guest
>on a macro level, the most widely consumed pornography is not
>that sketchy
>
>
>
>>No one said sex is inherently misogynistic. Where did you
>get
>>that dumb shit from? I didn't even say porn is inherently
>>misogynistic. What I said is, that todays online porn has a
>>misogyny and objectification problem. It's not an inherent
>>problem, but it's a problem nonetheless.
>
>inherent
>adjective
>existing in something as a permanent, essential, or
>characteristic attribute.
>
>your initial take: It's damn near impossible to find porn
>online
>>which isn't about demeaning the woman in the sex act.
>
>
>
>>>your argument is leaning towards saying if a man has too
>>much
>>>control or isnt tame enough, it's automatically harmful and
>>>and a woman cant enjoy it. you'd be wrong.
>
>>Yeah no where did I say anything like that. That's not my
>>position. so GTFOHWTBS.
>
>I have no clue what you find demeaning about porn if it isnt
>the dominant sex
>
>>My point is simple, go to xvideos or pornhub and look at the
>>first 20 videos that pop up and tell me that they are not
>>misogynistic or objectify women in a negative way.
>
>misogyny is the hatred of women
>you cant objectify a woman positively or negatively,
>objectification is just objectification
>
>
>>Explain to Trinity or any other woman that the clip
>>"struggling girlfriend likes rough anal abuse" isn't
>>misogynistic or objectify women in a negative way?
>
>some women have high thresholds for sexual aggression. I dont
>see how that's hateful or anti-woman. also you're still using
>the word objectify incorrectly
>
>
>
>
>>>>Your attitude is as long as they getting paid it's all
>>good?
>>>>really?
>
>>>no, my attitude is (mainstream) porn mostly consists of
>>>professionals who sign contracts and state what they're up
>>for
>>>beforehand.
>
>>So consensual sex can't be demeaning or misogynistic?
>
>if a woman and I understand and respect boundaries, nothing
>she consents to can be demeaning or misogynistic. there's a
>wild world out there where women are enjoying all types of
>sex.
>
>
>>>also going the extra mile hasn't mattered to many of my
>past
>>>partners so long as I was satisfied, but the wildest woman
>>>(black) I dealt with said she learned from white girls in
>>porn
>
>>"Going the extra mile" is what them white girls in porn are
>>doing you say? OK.
>
>yeah part of porn culture dictates a woman's worth in that
>business is measured by attractiveness and how far she'll go
>to stand out from the pack
>
>
>
>>>>Also, what's the basis for you speaking on how safe a
>space
>>>>porn sets are?
>>>
>>>this is a weird question. neither of us have been on a set,
>>>what's the difference between professional porn, TV and
>>movies
>>>aside from people fucking?
>
>>I asked because you went so far as to speak on how safe a
>>space a porn set is. If you never been on a porn set, how
>can
>>you be an authority enough to speak on it?
>
>you definitely introduced the safety of porn sets into the
>discussion, not me. I said people sign legal contracts for
>what's going to happen and get paid.
>
>>two final points:
>
>>1. So you think porn sets are no different from movie sets?
>>That's bullshit. There is drinking, smoking and drugs on
>porn
>>sets that you would not find on professional film and movie
>>sets.
>
>I have no clue what happens in either place
>
>
>>2. But regardless, why do you think that movie and tv sets
>>are "safe spaces"? Have you missed the whole #metoo
>>movement?
>
>Yeah I missed where Hollywood actresses said sexual
>assault/coercion took place on set
>
>
>
>
>
>
>


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

Reply 60 ends "I thought we were grown ups here"

of reading comprehension and logic I'd associate with a grown-up. Your responses had me wondering if you speak English as a second language.

Worst of all, you speak with such authority about shit you clearly know nothing about.

Look how you close out with this Gem "Yeah I missed where Hollywood actresses said sexual assault/coercion took place on set"

When literally WONDER WOMAN gave this account today.

http://www.vulture.com/2018/03/lynda-carter-faced-sexual-harassment-on-wonder-woman-set.html

Or the account of the Stunt Director assaulting a 12 year old on set of True Lies.

http://www.indiewire.com/2018/01/joel-kramer-accused-sexual-misconduct-stunt-coordinator-laura-albert-1201917560/


Like it's impossible to have a meaningful conversation about any of these topics with someone so willfully uninformed and proud too. SMH.



This is a poor use of everyone's time.

I tap out.




>Reply 60 ends "I thought we were grown ups here"


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

you googled articles I expressly stated I wasnt in the know about to prove me wrong, congratulations

none of this has anything to do with pornography (what's being filmed happening, not behind the scenes) being degrading or misogynistic towards women

but you also had trouble with the words objectify and inherent

>>this post is evident that it’s not just to objectify
>>women...
__________________________________________________________
>...Erotica(porn) never has been intent upon objectifying
>women. That was then, and still is now, the dumbest shit that
>has been said about porn.
>
>Its sex, plain and simple. It takes 2 to have sex so how
>could porn be objectifying towards women yet not objectifying
>towards men? You see the inherent sillyness in that right?
>That whole "objectifies women" bullshit came from sheltered
>prude women that were insecure in their sexuality, thus
>uncomfortable with objectively appreciating erotica for what
>it is: Sex. on. film.
>
>To be fair, thats not women's collective fault tho. That is
>America's puritan-based design, a design that has ALWAYS been
>antagonistic towards venery.


In addition to the last sentence above, that same puritan-based design, with patriarchy at it's root, is the well from-which society's shackles on female-sexuality have sprouted. Hence, women's collective aversion to erotica(porn). This is why as a collective, women don't even get fully comfortable enjoying sex 'til they're WELL IN THEIR 30's and beyond. Case in point, yourself Trin.

That's not a shot, just the seeds of context.

or what I think you are saying.

A friend once told me the visual of men penetrating/stabbing the puss gives the vibe that we have all the power when it comes to sex. There are women who own production companies in porn these days.

One other thing, dudes who scream misogyny in porn remind me of guys who infantize (sp) women. Like it’s impossible for those women to enjoy the sex they are having because there is a camera and a dick in the room.

If porn makes you feel a certain way or you have to change your viewing habits because of guilt... you may be watching too much porn.

>A friend once told me the visual of men penetrating/stabbing
>the puss gives the vibe that we have all the power when it
>comes to sex. There are women who own production companies in
>porn these days.

^Yep. They're taking the veritable -chains-of-conditioning- off, liberating themselves, and goin for dolo and its about time.
Few things in life sexier den a woman who actually unapologetically *owns her sexuality.
To be fair, there were a couple female porn directors in the '70's but now they're doing it with more command/swag. Thas whassup!

>One other thing, dudes who scream misogyny in porn remind me
>of guys who infantize (sp) women. Like it’s impossible for
>those women to enjoy the sex they are having because there is
>a camera and a dick in the room.


^EXACTLY! ! ! Thas dem dinosaur ninjaz oblivious to the fact that women, rightfully, enjoy sex just as much as we do(and SHOULD). Dem ninjaz gonna have shitty marriages as a result.
Its damn-near alien for those types of Katz to realize that the woman is just as fervently sexually-objectifying the man(in a good way). This is part of what scientists call, -Sexual Selection-.

Metaphysically-speaking, we are all sexually-objectified during the actual instance of mutual sexual-arousal and/or activity and also when we are choosing a sexual mate. This is where a term like,
'checking you out' derives from(the problem is in believing that this is somehow a *conflict, it ain't, its natural but modern man has domesticated himself so much that natural behavior is *alien to him.
Its only a conflict for people that aren't comfortable in their respective sexual skin, so-to-speak).

For dem Jurassic type ninjaz,...
Its like Bruh, you think Jawns ain't checkin out yo physique when yo musculature-game is on point? ? ?


https://imgur.com/cws8YzX


Some'O deez ninjaz need a couple convos wit dey Aunties dem ta soak up some game.

I ain't NEVA lied ta ya'll ninjaz.

>If porn makes you feel a certain way or you have to change
>your viewing habits because of guilt... you may be watching
>too much porn.


That is also true as well.
For me, less is more. I'll always love erotica and because such, I peep it in low dosages ta keepz it new/fresh. Otherwise, Katz can get desensitized.

like. If my lover said that to me or I discovered it.

it’s weird. While my ex was into porn however; a lot of his issues stem from sex...women. Looking back, I can recall him saying he thought he had momma issues. it’s hard for me to come to terms with how I wasn’t listening to him.

The next question is regarding the “void”...like, is it possible to ever fill it?

>The next question is regarding the “void”...like, is it
>possible to ever fill it?

a fulfilling sex life
God
other external things to take the place of porn

but no, it's not really possible to eliminate a person's need for sex

your wife: “why are you always watching porn?”
you: “to fill a void”

unless you’re saying that men do it because they aren’t getting enough at home...
are you?

esp for ppl who have been together a long time and the spark has cooled so to speak...so a nigga go light his own spark. is it right, maybe or maybe not, but some people dont really care or make it a priority that their partner is feeling unfulfilled...and here we are


>unless you’re saying that men do it because they aren’t
>getting enough at home...
>are you?
>
>

In a healthy relationship now? Longest relationship with a woman? that sort of thing.

Fair questions that Trinity should here before listening to you pontificate on relationships and women.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

my ex once said that it was selfish of me to want him all to myself...

**looks at camera**

>my ex once said that it was selfish of me to want him all to
>myself...


It IS selfish of you to want him all to yourself.
We don't own each other. Generally speaking, the problem with a whole lot of women is that ya'll wanna be the ONLY source of a man's happiness and as a result, women get childishly jealous when a man gets happiness from something unrelated to *her.(c)Video games/erotica/kickin it wit da fellaz/indulging in his hobbies(that he had BEFORE meeting you...ie..musicianship and/or artistry). These are a mere few examples but I guarantee you, a gang of men in this thread can vouch for dis.

This is why we as men WANT our women to have hobbies/likes/interests/friendships independent of the relationship 'cus ya'll have this weird co-dependent tunnel-vision thing going on.

Ya'll need some Legos, Trin.

Only a coward would stay something like that or a couple walking towards a different light.

Guess I touched a nerve.

Good luck wit that myopia doe.

>my ex once said that it was selfish of me to want him all to
>myself...
>
>**looks at camera**

But it is selfish to be policing how he handles ALL his sexual urges if he isn't doing anything with another person.

So it's tough to navigate. It also seems to have a way to do with the way men and women tend to process sexual fantasies differently. Women seem to do a better job of enjoying their fantasies without a visual stimuli. There is a lot to unpack.

selfish (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.

synonyms: egocentric, egotistic, egotistical, egomaniacal, self-centered, self-absorbed, self-obsessed, self-seeking, self-serving, wrapped up in oneself; inconsiderate, thoughtless

I’m not making the connection on how you think that’s reasonable in a relationship. Porn is like a taboo amongst most people...

how then could someone be viewed as selfish?

how am I suppose to heal?

you say "help me understand"

people explain

then you say "but I feel it's this way"

best of luck

I may not agree with you but I honestly do listen. So if I challenge you it’s not because I’m being difficult rather me trying to understand.

all I have are my life experiences...

And the entire boards have brought this up to her
time and again. Dat shit is crazy(and I don't say that lightly).


>you say "help me understand"
>
>people explain
>
>then you say "but I feel it's this way"
>
>best of luck

lol

are differences are just philosophical.

>we family, right?
>
>I believe we pass judgment because of our failure to
>understand. I’ve watched a few flicks in my alone time :-).
>More so because I’ve always been curious as how others have
>sex. This thought was intensified when my lover cheated....
>
>I’m told this is normal....
>
>but yeah. what do men get out of watching porn? I’ve heard
>that some men watch it to jack off before sex so they can last
>longer. Some men may be like me...curious. What are other
>reasons..
>
>this post is evident that it’s not just to objectify
>women...
>


fantasy escape, men want to have sex with different women but that creates its own problems, so we watch porn and go to strip clubs.

as a teen cuz i wasn't umm.....regular lol
and i never watched it for instructions/educational/moves


but i truly don't totally get it myself unless u r in a drought

we finna learn today :-)

... and don't want to spend $15 sleeping gummy bears it's a cheap solution to sleep.

It kills dopamine receptors and is bad for you after you turn 30, allegedly.

I know ya'll see it.


Yeah, ...ya'll see it.

A few folks in here are in denial and are taking their pain out on others. This is crazy.


.
.

"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins

compared to the rest of history, our brains aren't wired for this much content.

a few years back, i was seeing someone new, we had been going out 5 months or so and she skipped town for a week. I remember being so hyped just over anticipation that i get to binge on porn, because it had been so long. it was so much more of a rush than i ever got from her. of course after a nut or two i felt like garbage, like what the fuck am i doing, this is pathetic. that dopamine's a bitch. we didn't end over porn or anything but i do relate to what you said about initial excitement/short lived relationships.

i had pretty early exposure too. i try to avoid it mostly these days because it's not healthy for me, and only ever makes me feel worse. it helps that i'm busy most of the time, but it always lingers. it's easy to go down that rabbit hole, if i'm bored and left to my own devices.

hang in there dude. thanks for sharing.

https://imgur.com/6iO9JPr





*DEAD*

Some of those post are 500 words yo

Dude went in.



.
.

"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins

I mean I like amateur stuff more so than the big production stuff it that is not realistic at all.

Black?

BBW?

CUCK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I don't know you but I feel angry about the trauma that was imposed upon you as a little boy. I feel that in order to get to the root of your addiction (the trauma) perhaps you would consider talking to a therapist who can help you come to terms with what happened in the past, and who will know what steps you can take from there.

I don't know a lot about addictive behaviours but I believe one of the strategies used in overcoming certain addictions is to remove oneself from the environment that perpetuates the addiction. However, it is difficult not to go online in this computer age we live in where all this porn is so available. Maybe you could try and change your browser settings on your computer to block certain sites, or maybe try and replace the urge to view porn with something positive - perhaps do an online learning course to change your focus entirely for being on the computer. Or maybe go and do something else such as do some sport or yoga or something, depending on the time of day.

Like I said, I don't really know much about addictive behaviours, but I sincerely wish you the best of luck in trying to overcome them.


----------------
When you can't look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark - (unknown source)

Thanks for sharing.

You are clearly not alone.

I am in a similar space. Well..maybe I am a 'recovering' addict who can still function and hold down a marriage. AKA Mrs. jimaveli knows I am a perv. She knows I have hella porn. She somewhat knows how much I watch/watched. She doesn't love that, but it is okay and she's not pushing on me about it ever. I'm 40.

How I got here...

Somewhere from 6-10, I found the under the bed mag stash. Total accident. But the way it was stashed let me know I wasn't supposed to be seeing it. So of course it was my mission to see it! And see it I did! Threesomes, cumshots, big body parts that I love til this day, all of that. WHOOOOOO! Of course I got caught, got a quick explanation moreso than any real trouble, and it kinda got dropped. The seed was planted tho!

I didn't walk in on anything too crazy outside of catching my parents one time. I went to play at my neighbors and apparently came back before they expected me. I remember it but it was more of a TMI story/joke to tell my homeboys later on in high school than any heavy thing that weighed on me. It certainly didn't hit me like those mags did!

I also had the uncle with the porn stash in my 10 years old - early teen era. Ron Jeremy. Ray Victory. Peter North. All of those dudes.

I also found my parents' magical 6-hour VHS compilation during that time. Vanessa was on there of course. One movie was called 'Yank my doodle, it's a dandy!'. Hehe.

I would steal magazines out of the corner store and 'sneak' them into the house in my backpack. I would play Time Killers, a NEO Geo cabinet, and/or this Hyper Turbo Broken whatever edition of street fighter at that store after school. Good times/what was I thinking/how did I not get shot by that store owner?

I lost my v-neck late in high school. The chick I was with through most of college ended up being pretty shaky character-wise, but she was quite 'experienced' and I was better for it no doubt. Big parts fo sho! I eventually shook her permanently before we ended up having an oops kid. Whew! Being attached to her forever would have been a nightmare. She chased me off of wanting to deal with shady chicks/skrippas/shady type of women for a long time.

As soon as I could legally rent/buy porn, it went down. I was making comps, building my legit collection as to not go to jail, etcetera. I was throwing lots of 'disposable' income into it. This was right before high speed innanet became the way of course. I did the same thing with CDs by the way.

Late 20s, I was still not married and I had gotten over that college chick situation for the most part. So I took my chance to go through a skrippa/questionable chicks around me too much phase. Shit, I was lonely! Then, I tired of that, settled down quite a bit, met my wife by chance at a mutual friend of a friend's bday party, and promptly retired from that stuff altogether to make sure I tied things down with her. We've been together for 6 years.

I still have a pretty strong legit DVD collection lightly hidden in my mancave (I'm old) and Pornhub.com is the homie too. We ain't gonna talk about no hard drives...

I don't know if I will ever completely stop watching porn. I don't know if I will even try to totally stop. I go through phases where I watch a lot and others where I don't watch much at all. I'm generally fine either way. When I do watch, it is because I like watching it. And I consider it to be like 'game film' that I use for ideas to use with my wife. It tends to work out pretty well that way and I think I know what to try and what to leave on the movies. And yeah, I like a bunch of the women on there. 10-15 years ago was a golden era but there's some grand ones out there...at least to me.



>I was first exposed to pornography at around 6 years old.
>Not the cable TV late night softcore topless nudity variety;
>this was the hardcore adult XXX version. I had a live-in
>babysitter who was around 20 years old, since my mother was
>recently divorced active duty military and hardly ever home.
>This babysitter had a boyfriend from the neighborhood, and so
>they would take advantage of the lack of adult supervision to
>have sex and watch porn.
>
>One day, I walked in on them as they were watching it on my
>mother’s Betamax. Now, the normal response when a child
>walks into such activity is to immediately shut off the TV and
>remove the child from the area. This did not happen.
>Instead, they kept on watching as if I wasn’t even there,
>not a word was said. I of course had no idea what was playing
>on the TV. To this day I remember just standing there, trying
>to figure out what was going on: Why is the woman making weird
>noises? Is she in pain? Is the man hurting her? What is
>happening? After a couple of minutes staring in puzzlement
>and confusion, I walked away, and that was that. My
>babysitter never mentioned it, and I said nothing to anyone.
>
>Sometime after that, I awoke to the sounds of my babysitter
>and boyfriend having sex. It seems she had placed me on the
>floor as I slept so they could use my bed. I heard the same
>kind of noise, so this was now “normal.” I simply turned
>over and fell back asleep. The final incident with her was
>when in another night, she called me to my mothers’ room as
>she laid on the bed and told me to remove my shorts and
>underwear. She then asked me if I wanted to have sex with
>her. Not understanding what that meant, I just stood there
>silently. She repeated her question and this time I shrugged,
>not knowing what she was talking about. It seems she had a
>change of heart or something, because she told me to forget it
>and get dressed.
>
>I believe neighbors told my mother what was going on with the
>boyfriend, because soon she was gone and I was sent to live
>with my aunt. My stunted sexual development was put on hold.
>I only remember one particular episode in the 4th grade: I
>attended a private Christian school and there was a security
>guard “Martinez” who would joke with us and watch us kids
>play in recess. One day, he brought and showed us some kind
>of Playboy magazine. The older kids were of course all over
>it, but I saw the centerfold and was like “whatever.” I
>suppose seeing my babysitter was enough for me.
>
>In 6th grade I kissed a girl for the first time, and had
>already played doctor and husband and wife with other girls in
>my neighborhood. I still didn’t exactly know what sex was,
>but I was getting an idea. I got my puberty at the age of 12
>and one day I found myself fully nude with a girl from my
>neighborhood one day after school. We did not have sex,
>neither of us knew what we were supposed to do after taking
>our clothes off. Of course boys talk, and after telling my
>friends what happened I was laughed at and roasted
>mercilessly. I finally put two and two together and figured
>it out.
>
>Porn wasn’t too far off. Remember, this was the late
>80’s, the pre-internet era. To see a video or even a
>magazine was a big, big deal. I recall the classic finding my
>stepfather’s stash of Penthouse magazines. I couldn’t
>believe it: so that’s what they look like! That’s what
>you’re supposed to do! In school I barely remember any kind
>of sex education or even biology talk.
>
>My friends also introduced me to masturbation. One day,
>around six of us gathered in a circle and competed to see who
>could ejaculate first. Someone did, I didn’t even finish.
>At around 13 years old, I finally made it happen on my own,
>alone in my bedroom. I had lost my innocence.
>
>I lost my virginity in the 9th grade at 14 years old. She was
>14 as well, and already experienced. Of course I lied and
>said I had also had sex, so one day after school we went to
>some woods behind her apartment complex in Colorado and did
>it. I told all my friends and was welcomed to the ranks of
>men. I was a man now.
>
>I also found a porn video tape my mom had hidden, so my
>friends would come over after school to watch. The initial
>excitement gave way to discomfort. It’s hard (yes, it really
>is) to watch porn with other men around. After a while the
>action on the screen was too much to bear. One of my friends
>said “turn it off” and that was that, no more group
>watching sessions.
>
>My stepfather also openly provided video tapes. One night he
>simply handed one to me and left me in the living room to
>watch it. I was now 15 and experienced, so that session
>didn’t last long. I also had my stash of Playboys, so I was
>set.
>
>By the time I had a job and a car at 18, I could drive to a
>couple of video stores near my house in Miami and rent XXX
>movies. Just like Blockbuster, but for adults. Rentals were
>about 4-5 dollars, and I spent a small fortune over the years.
> At the same time, the internet was now in our homes thanks to
>America Online, so I would explore the new virtual world via
>chat rooms. The dial-up era was not conducive to porn,
>pictures took minutes and minutes to load, and movies? Forget
>it. But, it did provide access to girls who were also
>curious, and I was soon meeting them in real life.
>
>But this was a long drawn out process. Weeks, sometimes
>months of chatting were necessary to build a connection and
>make her comfortable enough to meet. Nobody wanted to admit
>they were meeting online, it was thought to be the realm of
>freaks and weirdos. So in case anyone asked, we met at a
>store, the mall, the street, whatever. Anywhere but the AOL
>chat room. It was also very difficult to get a girl just to
>talk to you. Then as today, there were multiple guys for
>every girl. Competition was fierce. But I was young and full
>of energy, so I put in the time and work. Plus I wasn’t on
>it all the time, I was also out and about and having a blast.
>
>The internet connections got faster. I no longer had to spend
>money and drive back and forth to the video store full of
>weirdos and dudes following you (those were real actual
>perverts in those stores. I just went in, got my video, and
>left as fast as possible). Now, I could download to my
>computer and enjoy at my leisure. If I went out to a club and
>didn’t get any girl that night, I just came home and put on
>a porn on the computer: quick, fast, and easy.
>
>Eventually the lines blurred. Turning on the computer and
>chatting with some girl became a way to relax after a long day
>at work. The MySpace era was the ultimate: you could see who
>you were talking to, where they lived, and what they wanted.
>I met plenty of girls through it, it was almost too easy.
>
>I didn’t feel I was doing anything wrong or deviant. My
>rationale was this is all online or through video. I’m
>never going to meet these people. Porn was a fantasy world:
>when am I gonna have sex with a porn actress?
>
>As I went through my 20’s, I lived by myself or with
>roommates. I moved out at 21 and was meeting girls online, in
>the streets, clubs, south beach, through school, work,
>friends, etc. I had any number of girlfriends, one night
>stands, serious relationships, a couple of months with one,
>couple of months with another, etc. Women came and went. A
>lot of parties, a lot of raves, a lot of alcohol, a lot of
>weed, and a lot of sex. I functioned in the real world and
>had jobs, paid my rent, my bills, went out, traveled, made
>friends, fell in love, etc. Never got evicted, never got
>arrested. But through it all I had my hidden computer virtual
>sex world.
>
>It became a condition, an addiction. I’ve carried it with
>me my whole life it seems. Remember I was 6 when I first saw
>porn. Nowadays it’s all one button away, anytime, anywhere.
> Some people are functioning junkies or alcoholics. Gambling,
>betting on horses, hoarding, eating disorders, stealing,
>robbing, prostitution, etc, etc. There are a lot of
>addictions and vices out there. But none of them interested
>me. I drank, I smoked weed, and that’s about it. I never
>did any other drugs because I simply wasn’t interested. I
>didn’t become an alcoholic. I’ve never gambled, never
>played the horses, no anorexia, bulimia, cutting, nothing.
>None of those vices call my attention at all. So I didn’t
>consider myself a junkie, an addict. Like I said, I paid my
>bills, went to work, went to class, didn’t steal, didn’t
>pay for hookers, didn’t mess with married women (I had
>chances). That was my logic: I wasn’t breaking my personal
>moral code, my core values.
>
>For example, I’ve known guys who will sleep with married
>women all day, but when the topic of porn or strip clubs is
>brought up, will turn their nose and say “not for me,”
>which is the response I give when the topic of sleeping with a
>married woman comes up. It’s all relative. No one is
>better than the other. But just like the strung out homeless
>dudes on the sidewalk, I was getting high too. High off the
>videos, off the chats, off the photos. They get high on
>crack, I get high on porn. But many have overcome their drug
>and alcohol addictions. I will too. Go ahead and judge me,
>but while you’re doing that, let me be. That’s all I ask.
> Like the dearly departed Bandanna P said “You can never
>feel my pain.”