b/c i'm not in a Nielsen household.

but it is about Internet clicks for me. i'm avoiding those.

i'm considering not watching (i haven't so far...but i'm struggling...the shit is like drugs and i'm jonesing) b/c i keep thinking about what i'm 'supporting' by engaging w/the NFL. and i'm increasingly bothered by it. Colin's situation and especially the Ravens statement about not signing him was the tipping point. i'm just sickened by the whole enterprise.

but damn.

i see how many NFL tentacles i have around me. at work i checked out of the fantasy league a couple of years ago b/c i already know i don't want to play at being an NFL team exec. and frankly not having to get up early on Sunday to watch tv coverage and keep track of injured players and who's available and how my guys are doing is a bit of a relief. yes, winning at fantasy was great (i won 2 - 2 different leagues. b/c i'm The Shit) but not doing it is fine w/me. i don't miss it. but anyway, here at work there is a Survivor League and i decided not to participate this year (so far). ppl here are talking all about the games yesterday. the games are all over tv...but i have dozens of channels to watch. my family talks about the NFL. my friends are watching but some are also not watching in protest and some never watched. my mom watches. the shit is powerful. and really it's kind of microcosm of America. right down to the slave auction feeling w/the way players are 'bought' and 'traded' and whatever. and then one of them makes a little wave and this is the fucking reaction? fuck that shit.

anyway.

i'm thinking about avoiding it all just b/c i'm a bit disgusted by all of the scandal. the crimes players commit or just caught up in...the danger the players face (they all accept it but still)...the way the execs treat the players. all of the fucking MONEY being made by a small number of ppl. all of whom are hardcore Trump supporters, btw. they represent the worst of the 1%. everything you can think of - that's them. immensely powerful too. the NFL's power over various aspects of American society...i mean, SHIT. it's absurd. and for what?

i dig football generally (increasingly bothered though b/c that CTE shit is for real and i just...i dunno, man). and i like the NFL (college is great and also problematic). but...i dunno.

and the owners just don't give a FUCK about any of this. that's the worst part. they're not even trying to make this better. b/c they know they don't have to.

i want them to want to have to give a fuck.

and i know my watching won't make them.

which just makes me really not want to watch.

b/c...fuck them.