and it's very difficult at times to know what way that is

She is someone I could see being with. Certainly someone I'd rather be with than without and I'm willing to to work at it, but right now I'm in the dark on wether she want's to reciprocate

I am her first long term BF so there's a lot to work through there and I have my own issues as well but I'm in if she is

I feel like she is trying and I need to not default to "glass half empty" on this one.

I think I'll do this trip and just have a blast and hopefully she will too because I think she could have cancelled it if she really wanted to kill the relationship and she isn't the type that would be scared to do so when I really think about it