this is a great convo

and i'm finding myself agreeing with people i typically might not or at least taking points from a lot of different folks and piecing them together to make a fuller/clearer picture


i feel like there may be several different playing fields when talking about privilege...there's the integrated public playing fields (where white patriarchy is unavoidable) but there is also the semi-segregated playing fields we typically create where we the shadow of that oppression is looming but where we do enjoy more privilege typically

There's the integrated field where black men enjoy few to none of the typical privileges white men enjoy in relation to white women. I say few because I do think those privileges exist. I think Ike got part of his counter-point right in that while many of those common male privileges get nullified by specific and sometimes systematic gendered oppression of males that females either don't experience or experience far less. That doesn't take away from the fact that I will be taken more seriously by default. It's not an obvious thing either and it's not quarantined to male-dominated spaces. Males voices, opinions and deeds are given priority. There was a shared email example that was talked about a lot where a husband and wife were trying to negotiate something via email and how there was no room for negotiation until the Signature in the email changed from the wife to the husband. That's a privilege that we as black men do receive in most fields.

I think in relationships, we also enjoy certain privileges. That patriarchy has bled over and it's not even subtle most of the times. I disagree often about what those privileges are...i think the wage gap between men and women is significantly smaller compared to white men/women but there's a distinct education gap that exists too. Those unique disadvantages make those privileges seem like a net loss of privilege but when you consider how they play out within the different contexts...you can't discount them but so much.

I also want to push back on intersectionality being solely about gendered subjugation of women...that thought process exists but it's mostly due to bias or just simply poor discourse becoming too popular too quickly. I think there is just such poor discourse bc every oversight or miscommunication point becomes an attack or slight. Then people are mystified why people become defensive when their privilege is challenged.

humans just suck and have a tough time getting over themselves