>some things are just what you're supposed to do as a man
>
>open car doors when you're both getting in
>open difficult jars for her
>be handy with tools
>kill insects
>carry the heavy items (for your significant other. we traveled
>with her aunt who packed 75 pounds of luggage and me carrying
>it around was some bullshit)
>make sure the bills are covered
>
>not because she's weak or inferior, but because we aren't
>supposed to be equal in every way. not being equal doesnt mean
>one party is better. there are just different expectations,
>especially if her father raised her to expect these things
>
>women deserve equal pay and treatment from the world. they
>also deserve protection and manly deeds from men


you have to lack some self-awareness to not see the connection between your list and the fact that women don't get equal pay and equal treatment.

helping doesn't making you an asshole. being a "good guy" in our culture doesn't mean you're the problem. i live in a place where many of those things are expected, and i don't have a problem doing some of them myself, as long as i know it's wanted and appreciated.

but not recognizing how it relates to structural sexism and not accepting that those roles can chafe...not being open enough to realize we can still be polite but in more varied ways...that's a problem.

again, what's wrong with doing things for people because they're people, and not because men do things for women? what's wrong with doing things you're good at because you're you, not because you're a man?